Chapter 7 More Mistakes
More Mistakes
We sat at a little brunch spot at the edge of campus. The place was typically busy when I visited, but that was on weekends. It was a slow weekday, and everyone was too worried about class to sit for food.
Grey and I hadn’t said much as we’d walked across campus, choosing to let the silence hang between us, only interrupted by fans of Dreamscape who managed to find Grey even in the most packed crowds of students.
I could tell Grey wondered what had led me to ask him to grab food with me—especially since I’d made it clear yesterday that I had been avoiding him for the past few weeks.
But he kept any questions to himself. Probably, I thought while watching a group of girls take pictures with him, so we could get to a place where we were less likely to be interrupted.
I’d been so sure of my decision to ask Grey to meet with me that I hadn’t let myself get caught up in what I would actually say to him, figuring the words would magically spring into my mind when the time came.
But looking at him with the table and our menus separating us, I drew a blank as I began to lose my nerve.
We sat in silence as I tried to piece together my fractured scraps of thoughts. It wasn’t until the waitress had brought our food that I started talking—not because I knew how I would maneuver into the conversation I wanted to have but because I was tired of avoiding speaking all together.
“What were you and Professor Young talking about?” I asked.
If the bluntness of my question bothered him, he didn’t show it. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I tend to attract attention wherever I go,” Grey said. “I told him that I wanted to sit in the back of the room and ask that he not call my name when doing roll.”
He grimaced, and I felt a sudden pang of sympathy for him.
“Yeah, it’s crazy how people throw themselves at you,” I said. “I wish it weren’t so bad.”
“It didn’t used to be,” Grey said wistfully. “Carina was enough to make girls lose interest at first, but that hasn’t worked for a while. Comes with the territory of the band getting more popular, I suppose.”
The mention of Carina’s name was enough to make my stomach twist into an increasingly familiar knot—one that screamed of jealousy.
I’d never been jealous of another person, not really.
My life had been comfortable, so I’d never wanted what someone else had, and I had never been overly attached in romantic endeavors, so I’d never felt jealousy when an ex ended up with someone else.
The feeling was new to me, and I wasn’t sure where it was aimed. Am I jealous of Carina specifically for having Grey? Or am I jealous that someone else, anyone else, has been taking up his time?
“Still it’s not right that people don’t see you as human,” I said.
“You do.”
Grey’s reply was so simple, so nonchalant, that it shouldn’t have given me the reaction it did. The knots in my stomach turned to fluttering, and a smile crossed my face in spite of my best efforts to fight it down.
“Is that why you followed me on Instagram?” I teased.
If I’d expected Grey to be flustered, I was disappointed. “No, that’s just because you’re cute.” He winked at me.
I gaped at him. “Don’t make fun of me.”
“I’m not,” Grey said. “Why would you think a compliment is me making fun of you?”
“Why would you think I’m cute?” I demanded.
“I’m confused. Do you want me to find you ugly?” Grey raised an eyebrow and propped his chin on his hand. “Because that’s not going to happen.”
My ears burned with embarrassment. I was still working on a cute, witty response when Grey placed a couple of twenties on the table.
“You done eating?”
I nodded.
“Good, come with me.” Grey held out his hand. “I want to show you something.”
With that, all thoughts of me steering the direction of our conversation went out the window. I gave up control, took his hand, and followed him from the restaurant.
“Are we allowed to be in here?” My voice echoed around us, bouncing off the walls to fill the empty concert hall. I fought the urge to look over my shoulder as if some authority figure would suddenly appear behind us and punish me for trespassing.
“Normally no. Unless you’re with a faculty member or rehearsing.
” Grey flipped a couple of switches, and the stage lights came on.
“But the music professors like me, and since Dreamscape is always practicing, they gave me a key.” He held up said key and jingled it, a satisfied grin spreading across his face.
“Don’t look so pleased with yourself.” I turned my attention to the stage ahead of us.
Sitting to one side was a stack of chairs clearly meant for an orchestra or band.
On the other side of the stage was a beautiful black grand piano.
I wasn’t even that interested in instruments after a disastrous five years at failed piano lessons, but this one was gorgeous enough to make me wish I’d actually tried to learn how to play.
“Let’s go up here.” Grey grabbed my elbow and steered me toward the stage.
Eager to follow, I only hesitated because it felt like something I shouldn’t be allowed to do.
Grey let go of me once we reached the top of the stairs to the stage.
Completely at ease, he strolled up to the piano and sat at its bench.
I followed slowly, watching as he opened the cover to reveal shining white and black keys.
They looked as if they’d been polished with how much they reflected the stage light.
He placed his fingertips on the keys with the confidence of someone who knew them well. And while they teased the keys, his touch was so light that not a single note escaped the piano.
He glanced over his shoulder at me. “Will you sit with me?”
I nodded, settling on the bench beside him and looking out at the concert hall. The room felt so hostile and big from the stage. How does anyone get up the nerve to play when this place is full? I couldn’t wrap my mind around it.
“What are you thinking?” Grey asked.
An unexpected chill swept down my spine. I looked at him and realized he was watching me with that intense Grey stare that still made my stomach do weird things.
“That you probably take all your fangirls here.” I’d meant the comment to be coy, but somehow, an unintended bitterness had snuck into my voice. I winced, hoping he hadn’t noticed it.
“No,” he said, completely unbothered if he had heard any resentment. “You’re the first person I’ve brought here.”
Grey said it simply, like he normally did when dropping truths that might as well be aimed to stop my heart.
A memory of Dream Grey kissing me flashed across my mind, and I did my best to shove down the intrusive thought.
I didn’t need to be thinking about kissing Grey.
Not when he was so close, so within reach, so taken by that girl Carina.
He narrowed his eyes as if trying to figure out what I was thinking.
But after a moment, he broke eye contact with me and placed his hands back on the piano.
This time, he played a note. Just a single, forlorn note that leaped from the piano’s body and seemed to take up all the space in the room.
The note was soon joined by another then another, three notes repeating over and over.
As if he’d forgotten I was there, he began humming to himself. It was soft and melodic and only contained a fraction of the beauty of his singing voice. But it was entrancing all the same.
“What song is this?” I asked.
“I don’t have much of it,” Grey admitted. His hands kept playing. “A couple of lines have been stuck in my head, though.”
“Care to share?” I teased.
He gave me a pointed look, and for a moment, I thought he would refuse. But then he opened his mouth and started to sing. And as he sang, the butterflies in my stomach came to life.
“Call it what you want, baby.
As long as you’re with me,
I don’t care what people say.
Maybe it’s meant to be
Just you and me,
Or maybe it goes down in flames.”
He stopped playing, looking more embarrassed than I’d ever seen him, but all the more endearing because of it. It was like looking into a window at the person beneath the stage presence he usually draped over himself. “Sorry, it’s not finished. Obviously.”
“Don’t apologize.” I nudged him with my shoulder. “It’s catchy.” Then, because I was feeling brave: “Who’s it about?”
Grey laughed, his confidence returning. “Who says it’s about anyone?”
“Come on, you don’t have a muse?” I teased.
“Muses are everywhere,” he said.
I glared at him. “So, the rumors are true. The groupies do inspire you.”
He blinked at me. “Wait, is that an actual rumor about me?”
I laughed, unable to keep a straight face when he looked so concerned. “No, I just made that up.”
“Oh.” He let out a relieved laugh. “I’m sorry. It’s hard to keep track at this point.”
“I’m a bit worried what rumors are out there about you.”
“Well, let’s see. Some people think I’m secretly a K-pop idol,” he said.
“I heard it was your cousin who was the idol.”
“Must’ve changed since I last checked,” Grey said. “Also, apparently, my family is a bunch of billionaires. I’ve had plastic surgery. And my dad is in the Korean mafia.”
“Is there even a Korean mafia?” I pondered.
“I don’t know!” Grey laughed. “The rumors are crazy, and they’ve gotten worse this year.”
He frowned down at his lap, and it was all I could do to not reach out to comfort him.
“Why this year?” I asked.
Grey shrugged. “Dreamscape is really catching on at school—which is great. But most of the fans are only interested in and obsessed with me.”
“Well, if you weren’t so gosh darn pretty,” I said, only half teasing.
“You’re too sweet.” He flirtatiously batted his eyelashes at me. “But it’s affecting my ability to go to school here like any other student. Professor Young isn’t the only teacher I’ve had to ask for permission to sneak in late.”
“You’d think people would get bored eventually,” I said.
“Have you?” he asked.
The sudden twist in the conversation sucked the air right out of my lungs. Blood rushed to my face and chest. The room suddenly felt hot, and Grey was entirely too close for comfort.
“I don’t think you’re boring, Grey.” I didn’t think such a thing was possible for me.
“I only ask because you disappeared for those few weeks there. And you even unfollowed me on Instagram.”
“Well, yeah…” That’s not from boredom. It’s because you’re taken, you stupid idiot.
“It’s a shame.” Grey looked at me through his eyelashes.
I didn’t think he even realized he was doing it, but it was becoming one of his signature moves that only seemed to stress me out.
“I was beginning to look forward to seeing you at my shows.”
My mind was blank, useless as I tried to conjure up a response. But even as I did, the memory of Grey kissing Carina in front of me flooded my mind and filled my mouth with a sour taste.
“After that last one with Carina kissing you…” I had to look away from him. “I couldn’t do that to myself.”
The honesty flooded out of me before I could so much as think about stopping it. I cringed internally at revealing how I’d felt about the situation—at admitting that it was a stupid kiss between two near strangers dating each other that made me want to run for the hills.
The right corner of Grey’s mouth tilted downward. “Can I ask you a question?”
Sensing danger, I tried to play it cool. “You already did, sir.”
“Ha ha,” Grey said sarcastically, looking deep into my eyes.
I sighed in defeat. “Yes, you can ask me a question, Greyson Hyun.”
He scrunched his face for a second at me saying his full government name. Somehow he managed to look even more attractive with a silly expression. It wasn’t fair.
Then he took a deep breath. “Ethan?” He said it so quietly that I almost had to lean closer to hear him.
“Yes?”
A pause, then, “Do you have a crush on me?”