Chapter 11 Befriending Grey
Befriending Grey
The triplet moons were high and full in the night sky.
It had been several hours since the late sun had set, and in the absence of the two daytime stars, the light of the moons appeared vibrant.
Beams of moonlight poured down from the heavens, caressing the tops of the monastery towers with a gentle hand…
This is terrible, I thought, resisting the urge to bang my head on my keyboard. Groaning, I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples. Why is writing so damn hard?
Because you’re still thinking about Grey, an insidious voice said in the back of my head.
I fought the urge to argue with the voice—there was no way that would end well. Especially since what the voice said was true. I was still thinking about him. And no matter how hard I tried to stop or ignore the thoughts, they made writing almost impossible.
It had been a few days since the Halloween barn party, a few days since I’d seen Grey other than in the fleeting moments when we made eye contact as I rushed out of class.
We hadn’t said anything to each other since that goodbye, and the memory of his hug conjured up a yearning that had nowhere to go.
I hadn’t been sleeping well. Food tasted like sand on my tongue.
The bags under my eyes had grown to an impressive size over the past few days.
I could tell Kellan and Josh were worried, but anytime they asked if I was okay, I lied and said I was fine.
And I didn’t even have Piper to talk to anymore, because the day after the party, she’d said she needed someone she could rely on and that clearly wasn’t me.
It was fair, but it still stung. Partially because she had been really cool to hang out with, but mostly because she’d been a distraction, and I was in desperate need of one.
So, yeah, I was alone at the cafe, struggling to string sentences together about a location for my creative writing class. The sentences weren’t coming, and the clock was ticking closer to the time of my next lecture. There was no point in continuing to fight for what wasn’t there.
Maybe I needed to grab some liquor and go home to binge watch The Nanny.
Just disappear in my room in a drunken sitcom haze for a couple of days.
I would email my teachers saying I was sick.
They would understand. Plus, judging from my appearance the last time I’d been brave enough to look in the mirror, it was probably believable.
The thought was entirely too tempting.
“Ethan,” someone said behind me.
I hadn’t heard that voice since he’d said goodbye to me on the edge of the woods.
Steeling myself, I turned to look up at a worried Grey.
His eyes seemed darker today, more brooding.
His brow furrowed, his mouth tilting downward—not his usual way of holding himself at all.
Judging from the bags under his eyes and the unusual messiness of his hair, he, too, was having a hard time sleeping.
“Grey,” I said curtly.
“Can I sit with you?” he asked.
“Actually, I was just about to leave.” I began collecting my things to prove my point.
Grey’s eyes darkened further. Sadness shone behind them, and dammit if it didn’t make me want to do whatever I could to fix it.
“You can walk with me if you’d like.” I heard myself say it as if it were from a million miles away. What am I doing? Idiot.
He nodded. Not happy, but he would take what I was willing to give him.
I finished collecting my things, stuffing them in my backpack, and led the way from the cafe. Grey followed at my heels. I could practically hear his mind churning over the words he wanted to say.
I wasn’t sure if it was our body language or if we simply got lucky, but no one tried to stop us as we crossed campus. There were no autographs or photo ops today. Just two guys trudging through the murky gray weather between redbrick buildings.
“I’ve been considering what you said,” Grey began. “The part about not giving you a choice other than to get over me.”
I nodded.
“So I was thinking. We’ve only been looking at this from the angle of having a crush or staying away from each other to get over it.”
I stayed silent as we walked, waiting for him to get to the point.
“But what if we stayed just friends—I mean, only if you want to,” he said the last part in a rush.
I glanced at him. Staying just friends. But… are we even friends right now? If I had to put a label on it, I would say we were just two circling bodies drawn by the other’s gravity. We didn’t really know much about each other outside a handful of conversations.
His brown eyes stared back at me, pleading, earnest. I could tell he wanted desperately for me to say yes, for us to be friends.
Do I want the same? If I were being honest with myself, I didn’t know what being friends with Grey would even look like.
Would we hang out at each other’s places and watch Marvel movies?
Would we help each other study? Would I get to learn what his favorite color is and what television show he hates with a burning, fiery passion?
I’d thought I would either have to get with Grey or get away from Grey.
Maybe getting to know each other better without the romantic overtones was a secret third option where we could get over each other without losing each other.
After the past few days of hell, I had to admit I liked the sound of keeping him around. It could work.
“There’d have to be ground rules,” I said slowly. “So much of… whatever this is… has been confusing because we had no boundaries.”
“Boundaries are good,” Grey agreed. His hands were tucked into his green sweater, but I could still see them fidgeting with the hem inside the pockets. “What were you thinking?”
I racked my brain. What were the most confusing things he’s done?
The things that turned my mind to mush? The list seemed long, but I settled on the first rule.
“No talking about feelings for each other. There’s no way we’ll get over our crushes and be friends if we’re constantly talking about how much we like each other. ”
Grey looked at his feet, a smile spreading across his face. “Yeah, I suppose that’s not something bros do.”
I had to laugh at the word “bros.” Already, I felt better. The laughter sparked a warmth in my chest that I hadn’t fully realized had been missing until it returned. “Exactly. And in a similar vein, no flirting.”
“Ah. That might be a hard one,” Grey said.
“Well, goodbye then,” I said, but it was playful, and we both knew it.
“I can’t help it if I’m extremely charming!”
I stifled an eye roll as we walked across a courtyard in the center of several school buildings. In the middle, a fountain sprayed water into the air. Though we were yards away, mist settled across my skin.
We didn’t talk until I came to a stop next to the fountain and crossed my arms over my chest.
“Fine,” I said. “Let’s start with being less flirtatious.”
“You’re going to be the death of me,” Grey said. “But I’ll do my best. Anything else?”
The sprinkling of mist raised goose bumps on my skin. Goose bumps reminded me of how I felt when Grey touched me. His touch was the one thing that would always clear my mind of logical thought, and that was something we couldn’t afford. Not if we wanted this whole friend thing to work.
“No physical contact,” I finally said.
“Not even a handshake?”
“You know what I mean,” I said with a glare. “No touching me where you wouldn’t touch a family member. No arms or legs or chest. If you want to stay friends, you have to take this seriously.”
“I am taking this seriously.” Grey straightened. “And I accept your terms.” He held out his hand. “Friends?”
I looked at his hand for a long, ponderous moment before taking it in mine. A strange thunder of electricity coursed through my arm. Already it felt as if something had shifted. Instead of being vibrant and hot, it was dingy and dull. Maybe this would actually work.
“Friends,” I replied.