Chapter 20 The After-Party
The After-Party
Dreamscape finished playing, and after two encores, we all were finally back in the dressing room.
I didn’t have time to say two words to Grey before Carina pulled him aside, leaving me alone with the rest of the band.
Dae and the others chatted excitedly about some after-party they were going to.
Though I was already pretty buzzed from my drinks earlier, I grabbed a seltzer and sipped on it. No more hard drinking for me tonight.
Grey was back after about ten minutes with Carina noticeably absent. When I shot him a questioning look, he shook his head. “Carina went home.”
Carina went home. Simple as that. I fought down the elation that swept through my body. Carina was gone. The night was mine to enjoy with Grey.
“What’s next?” I glanced at the time on my phone.
It was just past eleven o’clock. Still plenty of night left.
Normally, I would be ready to go home, but the mixture of liquid courage and Carina’s absence made me reluctant to leave.
Plus the boys had mentioned an after-party. I’d never been to an after-party.
“You want to go with the guys?” Grey asked. “There’s an—”
“Yes,” I said before he could finish.
He blinked at me, and I flashed my best attempt at an endearing smile. It seemed to work because he smiled back at me, glancing down to take in my whole self. Unlike when Carina did it, his inspection made me feel a warmth that had nothing to do with my buzz.
We left the Nocturn shortly after—the band got a couple of Ubers to pick us up.
Grey and I sat alone in the back of one as the college town passed by outside the windows.
It seemed sleepy without the majority of the students livening the place up.
On a normal night, hordes of people would be stumbling around on the sidewalks, but tonight only a few older people and a couple of straggling students who’d yet to leave for the holiday remained.
On the way, Grey chatted excitedly about the gig, how he’d felt about his performance, and how the crowd had reacted to it. “We just keep getting better and better crowds.” He grinned.
I couldn’t help but smile back. The energy had been intoxicating. I could see why he loved what he did—even if I would prefer the quiet solitude of writing in my room. “You’re going to be famous, you know.”
Grey rubbed the back of his neck, an oddly nervous gesture for him. He was usually stupendously confident. “I don’t know about that, but what’s happening now is fun.”
“You don’t have to believe me,” I said, smug. “I know.”
We arrived at our destination then. It was one of the enormous apartment buildings just outside of North Campus. Off campus meant no RAs could crash the party.
I was getting dangerously close to sober as we left the car behind, and the idea that this would be a good time quickly devolved into dread of a social situation.
Not to mention, my elation at Carina’s absence had since given way to a burning curiosity at what had been said before she left.
I glanced at Grey, opening my mouth to ask the question before deciding it was better to remain silent.
I needed the night to be fun. So I tried to push down any negative feelings and followed Grey upstairs.
The party was easy enough to find—we just had to follow the loud music and drunk yelling. Once inside, we made a beeline for the drink table. It was the usual house party selection—cheap beer, boxed wine, and bottom-shelf liquor.
“What are we drinking?” Grey asked.
“Hard to choose. There are so many great options,” I said dryly.
He smirked. “Beer sounds good.” He poured each of us a cup from the nearby keg, handing me one.
I sipped the foam off the top of my beer. It was cold and not completely terrible. It would do.
“Is this party for Dreamscape?” I asked over the music to keep myself from bringing up Carina’s conversation with Grey.
Grey laughed. “No, I wish. It’s just some end-of-semester celebration.”
“Lame. It should’ve been for you. You guys were great.” I looked at him through my eyelashes. When did I pick up on that habit? I was used to being on the receiving end of it from girls, but now I was doing it. Jesus.
“I’m glad you enjoyed the show.” Grey sipped his drink.
“So, what did Carina say to you earlier?” I blurted. I’d held it in as long as I could. Really, he couldn’t hold that against me. How am I supposed to have her be all cryptic, pull Grey aside, then leave, and not have questions?
A brief look of panic flitted over Grey’s face before he composed himself. “Nothing important.”
I didn’t buy his words for a second.
“What, did she break up with you?” I teased. Okay, I might not have been as sober as I thought when we entered the party. I glanced down at my cup and realized that somewhere in the conversation, I’d drank almost the entire beer.
The corners of Grey’s mouth twitched. “Not exactly. You know things are complicated with us.”
“I know.” I finished my beer. “I wish they weren’t.”
Unfortunately, it was then that the rest of Dreamscape caught up with us.
“We were fire!” Dae yelled excitedly. He seemed too energetic.
His eyes were wide, his pupils larger than normal.
Something told me that he’d found substances other than alcohol between the club and here.
The other two band members—Henry and Lance, if I remembered correctly—rushed to speak over him.
“Fire? We fucking did that shit!” Henry said. “Lance, you sounded so good tonight.”
“You killed it on ‘Game of Love,’” Lance said. “I was worried I messed it up there for a second.”
Dae laughed. “We really need to write easier drum parts for our music.”
“Nah, half the fun is the looming terror of fucking it up,” Lance returned.
I laughed along with everyone else. It was nice to hear people talk about their art.
The boys bantered on, and I noticed the girls that had been with them weren’t around anymore.
I wondered if they’d gotten bored of the whole thing.
Honestly, they hadn’t seemed all that interested in anything going on to begin with, so it wouldn’t have surprised me in the slightest if they’d decided to go home rather than hang out at a party.
Then Dae was calling for shots.
“To Dreamscape and an amazing gig!” he yelled over the crowd.
Everyone tossed back their drinks.
It seemed that the band was intent on getting wasted.
Because no sooner had we finished the first round of shots than Lance was calling for another.
Then, with my head already starting to spin, it was Henry’s turn.
They all toasted the band, the end of the semester, the gig.
I decided to set down my drink while everyone took their shots to Henry’s toast.
Thankfully, that was the last of it. The group continued chatting away excitedly.
“What did you think about the performance?” Lance asked me.
It felt like a test.
“You guys were obviously incredible!” I tried to shove as much enthusiasm into my words as possible. “But then, you always are.”
Dae and Henry laughed.
“I can’t believe you aren’t sick of our music yet,” Dae said. “You’ve been to how many shows?”
“A few.” My ears felt like they were turning red. I’d been to more shows than even Grey was aware of.
“Wait.” Henry turned to Grey, incredulous. “You’ve been bringing him to shows, and this is the first time you thought to upgrade him to backstage?”
“Dick move,” Lance chimed in.
That wasn’t fair to Grey. Our… relationship was complicated, and he had a goddamn girlfriend for fuck’s sake. What was he supposed to do? But before I could get too worked up to defend Grey, everyone burst out laughing.
“We’re just giving him a hard time,” Dae said, a knowing look in his eye. “But it’s okay. Grey can take it.”
Grey’s hand brushed against mine, and a thrill shot through me.
He did it casually, as if he didn’t necessarily realize he was doing it, but when his hand stayed in place, I knew it was intentional.
I reached out to him with my pinky—the tiniest move was enough to meet him.
I wrapped my finger around his, holding my breath as I waited to see if it was too much—if I’d crossed a line and he would pull away.
But he didn’t. He wrapped the tip of his finger around mine in turn.
Warmth bloomed in my chest. It was crazy and stupid to think that this, us standing among his bandmates with two tiny fingers holding onto each other, was the most intimate thing I’d ever felt.
I wasn’t a virgin. I’d had enough sex in my life to know that should’ve been the closest I would feel to someone.
But it never had been. It had always felt like more of an impulse, an evolutionary necessity, than vulnerable or intimate.
Maybe that was why it was always so easy for me to leave.
I’d never felt the intimacy that most of the girls I’d slept with seemed to feel.
But that wasn’t this. This was something else.
It was a silly entangling of our fingers, but it felt like he was reaching out and wrapping around the very essence of me.
It didn’t stem from evolution. I couldn’t even put it into words.
This felt almost supernatural. There was no rhyme or reason to the feeling—like our two souls were intertwining at the place our fingers touched, and my whole universe was suddenly contained in the tiny space.
I glanced at Grey, and he met my gaze with one so intense, it was like looking into the sun. I had to turn away.
“Want to get out of here?”
And go where? I wanted to ask. Does he mean “get out of here” as in go home by myself?
Or even more terrifying, does he mean “get out of here” as in go home to his place?
Obviously, we’d stayed the night together before, and nothing had happened, but I gravitated to him and desired him so much, I knew I wouldn’t have the same self-control tonight.
Or maybe he was just asking me to go get some late-night McDonald’s.
But his eyes still held that intensity, and I couldn’t bring myself to speak, much less ask a question.
I wasn’t sure if I was afraid that speaking would break whatever spell had come over us or what, but my body had completely rejected the idea of verbal communication.
So, I nodded. Yes, I’d follow you to the ends of the earth. God, I was corny.
His hand wrapped fully around mine. “We’re going to head out,” he told the others to disappointed groans.
Dae, however, seemed to expect nothing less. His eyes flicked down to our clasped hands. “Have a good night, you two.”
His tone was too mischievous for my liking, like he was in on the joke. What has Grey told him?
I frowned, but Grey was leading me away from the rest of Dreamscape. We passed the room full of partiers, went back down the stairs, and left the building. Then it was just me and Grey and whatever the night brought us.