Chapter 25 Rumor Mill
Rumor Mill
Afew days later, my parents took me back to Redmond University.
As we drove, I thought about the past few weeks.
My dad had spent significantly more time around the house this year than any other year since my parents’ divorce.
I was still aggressively curious about this new development, but anytime I broached the subject with my mom, she told me to mind my own business.
So I had, watching mystified as my parents got along.
It was like spotting Bigfoot or the Loch Ness Monster, except instead of the mythical creatures fleeing from sight, they just hung around and offered me a cup of coffee.
It simply wasn’t how the world worked. Fictional creatures didn’t suddenly appear and try to befriend you.
Parents fell out of love. They didn’t suddenly become friends.
But I couldn’t devote too much time to these thoughts.
Grey had been radio silent ever since I’d told him about coming out to my parents.
He’d initially sent me a message telling me he was proud of me, but then he stopped responding.
At first, I tried to tell myself he probably wasn’t by his phone.
Then, as the week wore on and I went through the motions of getting ready to go back to school as I got no response, I began to feel like something had gone terribly wrong.
I chewed on my lip as my mom’s car pulled to a stop in front of the school.
What if he’s no longer interested in me?
What if all his words were superficial, and his feelings couldn’t even last a four-week break?
Is what we have so fragile? Maybe he had viewed me coming out to my parents as me making “us” too real, and now he was done.
I had been so sure of everything during the conversation with my parents. Now, nothing but uncertainty remained.
“Ethan,” Dad said in a tone that told me this wasn’t his first time calling my name.
I jerked back to the present. “Sorry. Guess I zoned out.”
“Everything okay?” Mom asked.
“Yeah, great.” One thing was certain. I was not about to tell my parents that the boy I’d just told them about had decided to stop responding to my texts half a second after I’d told them about him. “Love you guys. I’ll see you at the end of the semester.”
They both looked like they wanted to press further, but I could see their usual internal battle behind their eyes. It was as if I could read their thoughts. Is this something he needs our help with, or is this something he needs space to figure out?
Thankfully, they decided on giving me space and wished me a good spring semester.
I collected my things and waved them off, my pulse jumping the moment my feet met campus ground.
I’d been anticipating this day for weeks.
It wasn’t until my parents were out of sight that I wheeled around and headed for my apartment.
I needed to get rid of my stuff so I could go to Grey.
Now that I was back on campus, every second that passed without him grew more painful.
Apparently, I was the first one back to the apartment.
Kellan and Josh were nowhere to be seen in the living room or kitchen, and the lack of noise or general mess told me that they hadn’t settled in yet.
Lugging my stuff into my room, I quickly tossed it on my bed.
I was about to head out, to make a beeline straight for Grey’s place, but then I froze, suddenly struck by insecurity.
Should I call him first? He might not be home.
Would calling him be weird? He hadn’t so much as responded to a text in days—despite me breaking my own rule to never double text.
Maybe I should bite the bullet and send him another one to see if he was back on campus.
My mind flitted to the agonizing hours of waiting for him to respond over the past few days before giving up.
I didn’t want to endure that again. I didn’t know if I could handle that with the possibility of him being so close.
I pulled my phone from my pocket with a huff.
Why am I making this harder than it needs to be?
I would send him a text to see if he was on campus yet.
If he responded, I would go over there. If he didn’t, I would wait a bit before going over.
I needed to talk with him, to get answers as to what had changed and why he’d decided he didn’t want to talk over phone anymore.
Hey, just got back to campus. You make it back yet?
I sent the text off without allowing myself to overthink it any further and threw my phone onto the bed.
I’d found it was the best way to keep myself from obsessing over whether or not he was typing a response.
I would check my phone in ten minutes to see if he’d messaged me back.
In the meantime, I should unpack. Keeping my hands busy was the only way to stick to my ten-minute commitment.
Unpacking only took eight. I knew I traveled light when I went home for the holidays, but I hadn’t thought I’d packed this light. I glanced at my phone where it lay on the bed. Checking it a few minutes early wouldn’t hurt, right?
No! I almost shouted out loud. He’s been ghosting you for days. You’re not about to cave this easily.
I caved and scurried to my phone. Nothing.
I slumped onto my bed. I should have expected as much, given the past few days, but it still stung.
What did I do to make him not want to talk to me?
I ran through the memories of everything I’d said to him since we’d left for break.
Nothing came to mind as something obviously stupid enough to deserve this treatment.
So, what is it then? Did he have a sudden change of heart and decide that staying in his role with Carina would make him safer? Did he decide that I wasn’t worth the risk?
My heart skipped a beat in my chest. That must be it He’d decided I wasn’t worth the risk to be with, and that was why he’d stopped responding to me.
He would continue on as he had, with Carina as his fake girlfriend, where he would be safe from crazy fans.
And I would fade into obscurity as nothing more to him than someone he’d almost had sex with one time.
The asshole could’ve made the decision before I went and told my parents about him.
Rolling over, I buried my face in my pillow. I thought about screaming into it—to get some sort of release from the sudden, intense, burning emotions that kindled in my chest, but I stayed quiet and still.
I should’ve known better. God, why was I so stupid as to think that someone like Grey would think I’m worth risking it all for?
So stupid. My face grew warm, flushed with embarrassment, then damp with tears.
Oh shit, I was crying. Crying over a guy who wouldn’t text me back.
I had never cried over an unreturned text.
This was a new one for me. Normally, I was the ghost-er, not the ghost-ee.
Maybe the whole school year had been nothing but a big ball of karma meant to humble me and teach me to treat people better. I thought about Piper, and guilt joined the emotions twisting in my gut.
I pulled my legs up to curl into a ball. Stupid, stupid, stupid. The words echoed inside my head like a malicious chorus hell-bent on torturing me. Stifling a sob, I tried to control my breathing. I took a huge gulp of air, counted to ten, then exhaled. And again. And again.
I woke with a dry mouth and an aching head.
Somehow, with all the emotional turmoil, I’d passed out.
It was dark outside, but that didn’t exactly give me an indication of what time it was since it was the dead of winter.
I ran my hands over my tired eyes and tried to find my phone.
It took a minute, but eventually, I found it under my left thigh.
How long was I out?
A glance at my phone told me that I had no new notifications, but I didn’t even get a chance to check the time before Kellan barged into the room followed closely by Josh.
“Jesus!” I yelled, nearly jumping from my skin. I was definitely fucking awake now. “A closed door usually means you should knock.”
“No time for that,” Kellan said with frenzied eyes.
Normally, I would take that as Kellan’s natural inclination for the dramatic, but Josh looked just as severe. My stomach dropped. “What is it?” I forced myself to ask, my throat somehow dryer than it had been when I woke.
Kellan and Josh exchanged a glance. Oh no. Dread ran down my spine like water had been poured over my head. Something had happened. Kellan was suddenly at a loss for words.
“It’s Grey.” Josh pulled out his phone and tapped the screen a couple of times before holding it out to me.
Whatever I’d been expecting, it definitely was not to find Snapchat pulled up to the map of campus.
“He’s all over Redmond’s Snapchat.”
“Snapchat?” I repeated, somehow understanding less. I’d downloaded the app once in my senior year of high school and had deleted it almost immediately. Numbly, I clicked on the bubble hovering over Redmond on the map.
The first snap loaded. It was a dark picture except for the text in the middle.
Grey Hyun just dumped his girlfriend!!!
I clicked next.
Grey Hyun, if you need anything, I’m free this Saturday at 8pm for anything you want.
More and more snaps loaded. It was a barrage of comments, jokes, and a few provocative images as I scrolled. Every one seemed to be from thirsty fangirls excited by the prospect of a newly single Grey.
“He and Carina broke up,” Kellan said. “You wouldn’t know anything about this, would you?”
My eyebrows tugged up in confusion. “He said something before break… but we haven’t talked about that in weeks. He hasn’t even been responding to my texts for the past couple of days…”
“So, he dumped her just cuz?” Josh asked.
“Or because he wants to slut around campus,” Kellan said sagely. “It wouldn’t be out of character for a guy in a band to do that.”