Chapter 25 Rumor Mill #2
My cheeks flushed with annoyance. “No, that’s not why he would do that. He told me…” I trailed off, suddenly uncertain of my words. Maybe what he’d told me had all been a lie to get me to go along with what he wanted. Is he capable of that level of deception?
I glanced at my phone again. Still no text. The goddamn radio silence was going to be the death of me. I just knew it.
Josh and Kellan exchanged looks again. This time, there was uncertainty there.
I shook my head to clear it. I needed to fill in my friends.
“The last night before I went home, I went to Grey’s concert…
” I began and continued into a whole play-by-play of the night—Grey kissing me, his confession of his past trauma, the reason he wouldn’t just break up with Carina to date other people, the fact that he liked me, us having almost sex.
I even told them about our conversations over text leading up to me coming out to my parents.
Josh and Kellan listened with wide eyes. “And then he ghosted you?” Josh asked, indignant. “What the fuck?”
“Normally, I’m a pessimist, but it doesn’t add up,” Kellan admitted, scratching his chin. “Something else is going on. You need answers.”
“Well, in order to get answers, I need the person who has them to actually talk to me.”
“Then, you need to go over to his place,” Josh said.
“No, that would be crazy.” I paused for a heartbeat. “Wouldn’t it?”
Kellan brushed off my concerns with a flippant wave of the hand. “Yes, but so is the situation. You need to hear what he has to say. Even if it’s just bad excuses.”
“At least then you’ll have something to work with other than this.” Josh gestured to the phone.
I nodded, getting to my feet. “Okay, I’ll go over there.”
“Not dressed like that you won’t.” Kellan gave me a once-over.
I felt suddenly self-conscious, realizing I was wearing my old sweats and a worn-out hoodie.
“You should put on something a bit sexier if you’re trying to leave Grey’s place with anything but a broken heart.”
“Thanks,” I muttered. Now that possibility would be at the forefront of my mind for the rest of the night. Anxiety struck my chest again with a pang. Suddenly, talking to Grey seemed like an impossible task. “Maybe I should wait.”
“No!” Kellan and Josh said in unison.
Josh continued after seeing the look of alarm on my face. “You won’t be able to relax until you know what’s going on.”
Kellan nodded. “Just look at how crazy you were last semester.”
My ears went hot with embarrassment. “I wasn’t crazy.” Damn, I didn’t even fool myself.
Instead of responding to my feeble attempt at a lie, Kellan went to my closet and began rifling through my belongings.
“What are you doing?” I demanded. Everything felt like too much, like I’d somehow lost control of a vehicle and was desperately trying to regain it to no avail.
“Picking out clothes for you because you can’t be trusted.” Kellan tossed me a green sweater that made my eyes pop and a pair of dark jeans. “Here, get changed.”
I changed as quickly as I could with trembling hands.
Josh had been right. I wouldn’t be able to relax until I had some closure, but the dread mixed with nerves to make the most annoying cocktail of emotions I’d ever experienced—fear, anxiety, concern, and desire all waged war within my chest. My heart felt like it was beating lopsided. That couldn’t be healthy.
Impulsively, I glanced at my phone. Still no text. What is going on?
I opened Instagram half out of reflex, and the first post was from Grey, which caused a fresh spike of adrenaline to shoot through my chest. It took a few blinks to calm down enough to actually read the post. It was a picture of a handwritten note.
I don’t normally post things about my personal life, but this news is already spreading all over campus, so I thought I should address it.
My girlfriend, Carina, and I have decided to end our relationship.
We still love each other very much, but we’ve decided this move is what’s best for both of us going forward.
Please respect our space at this time as we heal and grieve.
- Grey
P.S. Don’t you worry about me. It’s just another broken heart.
I read it over four times before the words began to sink in. Part of me numbly recognized the postscript as being a lyric to one of his songs. It was official. The rumors of his dead relationship were, in fact, not greatly exaggerated.
Which made the continued silence between us all the more annoying.
He had to know I would see everything happening online, especially if he’d made a post about it.
And judging by the post’s time stamp, he’d announced his break up after I sent the most recent text.
So, that meant he’d been on his phone to see it and still chose to ignore me.
Shaking my head, I closed my phone and walked out to the living room.
Josh gave me a playful wolf whistle when I entered. “No way he’ll be able to resist you like that.”
“He’ll be putty in your hands,” Kellan agreed.
I wasn’t sure where their sudden vote of confidence came from, but I sure wished I could feel it on any level. “I’m going to go, then.” My face twisted just like my stomach. It had started as an attempt at a brave smile, but it definitely felt more like a grimace.
“Relax,” Josh said. “Or you know, try to at least.”
“Right. Super helpful.” I turned toward the door. Every step felt like marching toward the gallows, but at least I knew an end to my torture was in sight—if I didn’t puke before I reached my fate.
I opened the door to leave my apartment and jumped back. Standing on the other side with a raised fist that had clearly been about to knock and a nervous expression on his face was Grey.
“Oh.” Heat rushed to my cheeks, and I struggled to find something to say. I’d thought I would have the ten minutes it took to get to his place to figure out how the hell to begin this conversation. “Hi.”