Chapter Three #2
“I know you have six months left, Babe. I know that you’ll have to be here alone, but I’ll go back to the US, and I’ll get us set up.
I’ll bust my ass to put that money in the bank, and I’ll set us up really good.
I’ll be making five times what I do now.
We can use that to figure this out and make a family. ”
Graham couldn’t breathe.
This killed him.
That day, D’Artangnan had been doing this for them? Again, he didn’t know how he knew, but it was too real not to be true—and it was more this man’s nature.
When he’d accused him of keeping secrets, and told him to leave, he only wished he’d known about this. His sweet D’Artangnan, the love of his life, had been doing this for him, and only him.
He’d had the greatest man in the world, and let him slip through his fingers.
“I can’t leave Scotland. I have to stay here. This is my home.”
Honestly, he couldn’t believe he was saying this now. Looking back, he’d leave and go to the US with D’Artangnan in a heartbeat.
The alternative had sucked.
What wouldn’t he do to go back in time and change his world for the better?
D’Artangnan kissed him softly on the lips, and then stared into his eyes.
“I’ll come back. You can trust me, Babe. We can survive this. I’ll make sure I work a year, and we’ll have enough money to buy a house here. I’ll retire for you. I’ll come back and we can be married. I’ll give up my citizenship for you. You’re the love of my life.”
His heart ached.
Why?
Because he believed that the man would have done that in a heartbeat.
That was just his nature.
He was a very giving, sweet man under that bulk and military fade.
“D’Artangnan, please,” he said.
The man paused.
“What?”
Graham stared into his eyes, and he kept fighting to change the outcome. Maybe he’d wake up, and this was a dream. Maybe he’d come out of that coma, the one he likely was in, and he could have that man back.
As his.
“Promise me that you’ll love me forever,” he whispered. “Promise me that when I disappoint you, and I’m sure I will, you’ll keep fighting for me. Promise me that no matter what, you will always remember this moment, and hold onto it in your heart, knowing I loved you and always will.”
D’Artangnan rested his forehead against Graham’s, and he told him the God’s honest truth.
“I’d die for you,” he whispered. “You’re my soulmate, Graham. I’ll always fight for you. We’re going to get married and have the most beautiful life, if you can just give me a year to make it happen. I promise I’ll come back for you.”
And that nearly killed him all over again.
Because had he just put his faith in this man’s love and fidelity, this brave and loyal Marine, he would have come back.
He would have made that life for them.
Without.
A.
Doubt.
When Graham opened his eyes, he found his mouth, and he kissed D’Artangnan with all he had. This would be their last moments together, and he wanted to give himself this memory.
He needed it.
This moment wouldn’t change what had happened between them, but for his soul, for wherever he was, he wanted this alternate outcome.
This one could haunt him every single moment of his time in purgatory, and he’d carry that burden.
He’d do anything not to be faced with the one of him walking out the door and leaving him behind to die a slow, painful death over the years.
The kiss rocked both men, and D’Artangnan rolled, putting Graham above him.
The Scottish man’s hands wandered, and before Michael knew it, his lover had his fatigues open, and his shirt pulled up.
“Graham,” he whispered, breaking the kiss as his body reacted to his hands on it.
All around Graham, he could smell the cologne, the scent of his skin, and the aroma of his shampoo.
Graham clung to this moment, and as he did, the Scottish man stared down at him.
“I will love you for the rest of my life, and nothing will ever change that, D. You are and always will be the love of my existence. Without you, I’d be nothing. I’ll die with this tattoo on my thigh, and your name on my heart, M'eudail.”
The Marine smiled up at him, and the dimple in his cheek made Graham want to hold onto this moment even more.
God.
He loved this man, and he never understood how lucky he truly had been with him in his life. They’d had everything they needed, and they had been together.
Lesson learned.
Moving down his body, he took in the scent of his bodywash, and the fabric softener they used on their clothes. It brought more memories back, and he couldn’t help but pretend that he was in this moment.
This was the only moment he needed. This had been the precipice of their relationship, and he willed it to be real.
He willed it to be theirs.
If this was his purgatory, he’d make sure he always made choices that would change the outcome.
So they would be together—even if it was only in his mind. Even there, after his death, he would only dream about the perfect man, and how for some time, he’d been his and only his.
That’s how he’d spend his eternity.
That’s how he’d do his penance.
LIKE.
THIS.
Pulling down his military fatigues, D’Artangnan’s dick sprang free, and he never saw a more beautiful thing in his life. This was his man, and he loved him.
All of him.
In that moment, he put their imminent destruction on the back burner, and focused on the lovemaking.
He filled the cold, dead spaces with love, in hopes of surviving this fate.
Because it was a fate worse than death. He’d hoped for nothingness, but instead, he got all D, all of the time.
“Yes,” D’Artangnan whispered, as his man stroked his erection. “Now, this is what I love coming home to,” he admitted.
Staring up his body, he wanted one thing.
“I want gentle today,” he said. “In celebration of the life you’re creating for us. I want to remember this day forever.”
He wanted this to be his final memory.
Not the one of D’Artangnan walking out the door and his life going to shit all around him because of his anger and distrust.
He wanted to make gentle love where he could hold onto these last moments.
Who knew what fate would show him next?
With his luck, it would be the man’s happiness and joy in the arms of a far more worthy man.
Because he wasn’t worthy of this man’s heart, and he truly believed that.
When D’Artangnan cradled his face in his hands, Graham felt safe—and that wasn’t easy to do when you’d seen far too many atrocities.
This man could calm the voices in his head that were calling him evil. It had been a long time since he’d felt like that.
“Anything for you, Babe. Anything at all,” he admitted, making that promise. “Let’s make love.”
God.
He’d been such a fool to let this man go.
He was perfect.
Taking him in his arms, D’Artangnan wrapped his arms around his lover and began making love to his mouth. It was a slow, steady mating of mouths.
It was sweet, it was love-filled, and it was definitely what Graham needed.
This was his hero.
“I love you,” Graham whispered, reminding him that they at least had that. Despite what happened, there was always that love between them.
“I know, my love,” D’Artangnan admitted. “There will never be any doubt,” he promised.
And Graham knew that wasn’t the truth.
Kissing him, his one hand was on D’Artangnan’s ass, and the other was in his hair. He kept his mouth trapped to his, the kisses deep, erotic, and driving up the heat in the room.
He made love to his mouth in a hunger he only felt with this man.
There was need there, awash in lust and heat.
Wild, desperate need.
They were pressed together, and Graham could feel D’Artangnan’s dick hard against his own. Someone was definitely just as aroused as he was.
It felt good too.
What wouldn’t he do to keep this for all eternity between them?
Graham continued the kiss, desperate to get lost in the mating of mouths.
He needed this.
He craved it.
Pulling off his man’s Marine T-shirt, he only broke the kiss to get D’Artangnan naked. He was desperate to keep this going, to purge the pain—if only for a few minutes.
Graham needed to get the love of his life’s oppressive fatigues off of his body.
Oh, and he couldn’t wait.
He’d wanted slow lovemaking, but now, he wanted so much more. He wanted to make D’Artangnan stay.
Graham wanted this to cement this sexy Marine to him for the rest of their lives so he could undo what he’d done in the worst moments of his life.
Together, they rolled around, clothing going everywhere.
They were in their bed, and as the morning light shone in on them, there was peace. In that moment, Graham prayed for redemption.
He prayed to get anyone listening to give him one more chance.
If he was granted that one wish, he’d change everything.
He.
Swore.
If he could make this right, he’d cherish this man for the rest of his life.
He promised.
As his mouth was pillaged again, and his man was stripping him down, D’Artangnan was out of breath.
And that was how Graham wanted him.
How many times had he laid in bed at night missing this man’s touch, and weeping himself to sleep over the canyon of distance between them?
If he could keep this going, then he’d willingly stay right where he was. He’d live in this place between reality and life, just to have him back.
For Graham, life began again.
It gave him that little bit back so he could keep going, and he’d never forget it.
This moment mattered.
And he knew it.
The whole time he destroyed his control, D’Artangnan held on, and when he felt his belt being pulled from the loops of his pants, he moaned.
“Hurry,” he begged between kisses and caresses. “Get me naked.”
Oh, Graham was working on it.
As D’Artangnan shoved his pants and boxers down, he was completely naked, and there for Graham’s pleasure.
His body was the same, and like he’d remembered, it was perfection.
It was bulky, corded with muscles, and covered in tattoos. The most important one on his thigh stood out, and Graham ran his hand over the ‘G’.