Chapter 31
CHAPTER 31
LAUREL
I texted with Gemma and Mariam the whole way back to Nashville, feeling like I was falling apart from the inside out. It was like I could feel pieces of my soul sliding away, crashing and burning into the same barrel of lava that had that been dumped over my heart, leaving it as a burned-out husk in my chest.
Perhaps I was being dramatic, but I was heartbroken, so I’d give myself a break. It didn’t help that I saw Leif’s name popping up on my screen every few minutes, and every time I did, an image of him in his office with that woman flashed before my eyes.
I didn’t know why he was bothering with me if he had her right there, but I didn’t want to hear what he had to say for himself. I knew cheating when I saw it. That was for sure what I’d been looking at back at his firm.
After I landed, I retreated into myself, telling the girls I’d speak to them again soon and heading home. I went right to bed, not even looking at my phone again until the next morning. I had loads of texts, missed calls, and voicemails from both the McIntosh brothers, but I didn’t open any of them.
Jack might’ve been my friend, but Leif was his brother. Obviously, he would try to help him with whatever game he was playing. I just didn’t have to allow myself or my shattered heart to be their playground.
As for Leif, I didn’t know. Maybe he was looking for a good, obedient wife to be sitting at home, waiting to welcome him with open legs after days spent sowing his wild oats. Or maybe it was true that he still thought of me as his and couldn’t stand the thought of me being with someone else despite not actually being interested in settling down.
None of those things felt like him, but what did I know? I hadn’t seen the guy for over ten years before the reunion and I’d seen him less than a handful of times since. It had felt like I still knew him, but honestly? Who knows what he’s really become?
The next few days were dark, gloomy, and lonely. I got through them by gritting my teeth and forcing myself to put one foot in front of the other, but by the time I closed up shop for the year, I didn’t think I would have been able to keep doing it for even one more day.
My batteries were empty, my inspiration and motivation to keep going depleted. Grace hugged me after I twisted the key in the lock. “I’ll see you in January, Laurel. Keep your chin up. Everything will work out okay.”
I scoffed softly, sliding my arms around her waist to hug her back. “Thanks, you. Unfortunately, this isn’t something that can work out. I just need to get over it, is all. Enjoy your vacation and take plenty of pictures for me, okay?”
She nodded, excitement shining in her eyes. Grace and her whole extended family were going to the mountains for the holidays, and I knew she couldn’t wait to spend time with her cousins, her aunts, uncles, and everyone else.
I smiled. “Have fun, young lady, and that’s an order.”
She chuckled. “You don’t get to give me those until we’re back here in the new year, but can I give you some advice?”
Curious to hear it, I nodded. “Sure, go for it.”
“You’re a writer. You know better than anyone that relationships have their ups and downs. They have to have them. It’s how they grow.”
I frowned. “You’re too wise for your years, but I’ll keep that in mind. Thanks, Gracie. Now go already. Your family is waiting.”
“You have a flight to catch yourself,” she reminded me, and she wasn’t wrong.
Later this afternoon, I was going home to Austin for Christmas and it killed me that I wouldn’t be seeing Leif when I got there. Gemma and Mariam would be heading back early too. They had insisted on joining me as soon as I arrived to get me back into the holiday spirit before Christmas Day.
I had already warned them that I wasn’t very holly jolly, but they figured I would be when I was back home and around the people that loved me. After Grace waved goodbye and left, I slid my hands into my pockets and tucked my chin into my scarf, keeping my head down on my walk home.
The house sitter I’d hired to watch Doodle was already there when I arrived, tossing a ball to my girl in the backyard. I smiled as I watched them, but then Doodle spotted me and raced over. Smiling and happy, she pressed her face against my leg.
I stroked my fingers into her hair, rubbing her as I looked over at Tabitha, who would be watching over her and my place while I was in Austin. “Are you sure you’ve got everything you need? I don’t want to leave until you’re settled.”
She chuckled. “We’re fine, Laurel. Really. I promise. I’m all settled in and I know where everything is. You have a flight to catch and I won’t be the reason you’re not on it.”
My heart felt like it weighed a hundred pounds, but I nodded, pushed away from the door, and said goodbye to Doodle before I went to grab my bags. I’d packed last night, anticipating that I was going to have to leave for the airport as soon as I locked up the store.
Once I was back on an airplane, I leaned into my chair and closed my eyes. I’d flown more in the last month than in the last few years. Everything that had happened just felt so surreal, and it honestly hadn’t hit me yet what a whirlwind, or perhaps a hurricane, the time since Thanksgiving had been.
My mom was at the airport as always to collect me. Smiling sadly, she pulled me into her arms. “Talk to me, baby. I’ve been hearing the craziest things.”
I sighed, squeezing her back before I released her. Desperately fighting tears, I looked into her eyes. “It’s true. He cheated on me.”
She took my arm and led me to her car while I sliced open my soul and bled my deepest feelings and pain all over her. Once I’d told her everything, a shocked glaze took over her eyes and she shook her head. “It couldn’t have been what it looked like, baby. I’m not saying you didn’t see what you saw, but I know Leif. That boy has loved you since you were kids. I just can’t imagine him doing something like that.”
“Yeah, well,” I said dryly, reminding her that he’d surprised us all once before. “If he could push me away once, I suppose he can do it again. I’m starting to think that it might be fun for him.”
“That’s not fair, honey,” she said gently, helping me carry my things into the house after we arrived and fixing me a cup of steaming cocoa. “Leif is a lot of things, but he’s not a player.”
“The Leif we knew wasn’t, but ten years is a lot of time for a person to change. He’s a young, hot, rich guy who probably wants his bread buttered on both sides.”
Mom cocked her head at me from across the island, wrapping her fingers around her own mug. As she looked into my eyes, I could see the uncertainty there, and for a split second, I wondered if she was right.
Gemma and Mariam had been super supportive throughout all this, but neither of them had fully believed it either. They had both told me that maybe I was wrong, only relenting when I’d insisted that I’d seen it with my own two eyes.
He’d bent down. He’d kissed her. There had been lingerie on his desk. There wasn’t any other explanation that made a lick of sense.
Mom finally sighed, those dark eyes boring into mine. “I know how this is going to sound, but truth really can be stranger than fiction sometimes, Laurel. You’ve always been very black and white. The way you’ve lived your life hasn’t made much room for any shade of gray, but maybe you just speak to him.”
“Are you really telling me to hear him out?” I frowned at her, my head shaking hard and fast. “I’ve been through this once, Mom. He’s not going to come right out and say, ‘Oops, I slipped on a banana peel and landed with my cock in her mouth and her lingerie on my desk’.”
Mom blinked back her surprise before she chuckled. “Well, that’s certainly one thing he could say, but I doubt that’s what he will say. Look, maybe he’s changed. Maybe you’re right and he’s a hound who couldn’t keep it in his pants for longer than a week after he saw you, but I can’t help but feel like there’s more to this story.”
If I was being honest, I’d been feeling the same way. “If I speak to him, he’s going to say all the right things and I’m going to end up going back to him, only to have my heart broken all over again.”
“Or he’ll tell you the truth and you’ll forgive him, and then you’ll go on to live happily ever after,” she said. “I know that he broke your heart once before, but these are hardly the same circumstances. I, for one, believe that he knows what life looks like without you and that there’s no way he’d choose that again.”
Mariam and Gemma arrived while Mom and I talked. My friends descended upon our kitchen like busy little bees, wafts of perfume and bag upon bag full of snacks arriving with them. They unpacked quickly and efficiently, with Mariam uncorking a bottle of fancy red wine while Gemma made platters of treats.
“I think that’s my cue,” Mom said, smiling as she walked around the counter to press a kiss to my temple. “Remember what I told you, darling. Cry it out with your friends, reason with them, and use them as soundboards, but sometimes, it does happen that things really aren’t what they seem. Just keep that in mind before you write him off for good. God knows, after everything you two have gone through together, I would really hate to see it end like this.”