Chapter 32
CHAPTER 32
LEIF
A fter days of trying to get in contact with Laurel, nothing had worked. Gemma and Mariam were also refusing to take either my calls or my brother’s, and even Deb wasn’t picking up. I’d considered sending a carrier pigeon after all, but then I’d remembered what she’d told me about feeling too sorry for the birds in the winter.
The last thing I needed was her to think I was a heartless jackass who was cruel to animals on top of everything else. Besides, Jack and I were heading to Austin in just a few hours. Laurel was probably there already and I was hoping for a chance to get to speak to her while we were both home for the holidays.
But at this point, who knows?
It really felt like she’d made up her mind. She’d seen something—if that had even really been what’d happened—decided it was true, and was simply refusing to talk to me or to even consider another possibility.
All of which pissed me off, but that didn’t make me any less desperate to speak to her. As I was finishing off the few last-minute things I had to get done for work before the holidays, a loud knock came at my door before it banged open.
“I finally got through to Gemma,” Jack said without prelude. “You were right. Laurel saw you with Rainy and jumped to conclusions.”
I groaned, my heart slowly starting to tear itself apart in my chest. “Shit. I’ve really been hoping that maybe there was something else going on. After what she went through before, what she’s thinking now is probably the worst thing that could’ve happened.”
He grimaced, shut my door behind him, and walked deeper into my office. The constipated look on his face told that he wasn’t done sharing what he knew yet. “It gets worse.”
My blood pounded in my ears. “What? What is it?”
“Apparently, she’s devastated, but I suppose that was to be expected. Here’s the problem, though. According to Gemma, Laurel is questioning everything . Who you’ve really become. Why you went after her even though you’ve got someone here in Denver. What you really wanted. Everything.”
My breath disappeared from my lungs, just vanishing as if it had been sucked out by some kind of magical machine. I blinked at my brother. “Well shit.”
“Shit is right. It looks like you’re going to have your work cut out for you, Leif. Gemma said she’s never seen Laurel like this.”
I suddenly couldn’t feel my extremities anymore. “What do I do?”
“You fight,” Jack said conclusively, as if that settled everything. “Gemma says she might be able to get Laurel to talk to me and eventually, maybe to you, but apparently, even Deb has tried convincing her to hear you out. No dice.”
This was so, so much worse than I’d thought. “Fucking hell, that other guy must’ve really done a number on her if even Deb can’t convince her to pick up the phone.”
Jack nodded slowly, striding over to his spot by my windows and sliding his hands into his pockets. He stared out at the snow. “I asked Gemma about that, actually. It’s bad, Leif. She said that Laurel wasn’t nearly this devastated when the other guy cheated on her, but that it’s scratched open a lot of old wounds, which is why she’s now questioning everything.”
“They were planning a future together,” I muttered. “At least, she was. Then I talked to her about potentially opening a firm in Franklin one day, and the next thing she knows, it happens again. A guy cheats on her just as she was starting to trust that there might be a future.”
“I fucking knew it,” he said, but he didn’t seem shocked or pissed about it. “Were you going to tell me that we’re expanding our operations to Tennessee?”
I shrugged. “When there was anything to tell, sure. There wasn’t, though. No plans or anything solid, so I kept my mouth shut. At least until I proposed.”
“Yeah, well, that plan is off the table for now, but we still need to get you home. I’m pretty sure I can get you in with a chance. You just need to make it count when I finally convince her to give you five minutes.”
“I will.” Determination swirled through me, growing until I felt like it was taking over my whole being. “Let’s go. It’s time to go home.”
I needed to be there and to get this conversation going. Now.
I couldn’t imagine my life without Laurel in it anymore. For so long, she had been such a distant memory and I’d survived, but thinking about it now, it felt like that was all I’d been doing. Surviving from one day to the next, not really living but just fucking around, waiting for my real life to start.
I was done waiting. I was ready to start living and I wanted to do it with her. These last few days had been hell for me. I’d been so down and I’d had so little energy that I’d barely gotten through without catnaps at my desk.
My heart had been in my shoes since I’d seen her literally running away from me, and I’d been replaying the moment those elevator doors had slid shut over and over in my head. I refused to let that be the end of our story.
It couldn’t end like that. She and I had been through way too much over the years for those doors to signal the final end of our relationship.
Thankfully, Jack drove to the airstrip. All I had to do was sit in the passenger seat of his ridiculous car and obsess about what I was going to say.
He’d been right about that. If they could somehow convince her to give me five minutes, I would have to be prepared to make them count.
I couldn’t stumble over my words or be uncertain or unclear. As soon as I looked into her eyes and started talking, I had to make sure that I had my ducks in my row. That I answered all her questions before she even asked them and that she believed my answers.
I was honestly still struggling to accept that fucking Rainy had been the cause of all this. I really, badly didn’t want to lose Laurel, but because of something like this? A silly misunderstanding which, sure, I realized had hurt her, but fuck.
I hadn’t touched the woman in almost a year. I hadn’t encouraged her and I didn’t want her at all. In fact, the only thing I wanted from her was to stay as far away from me as possible—and I’d felt that way since before Laurel and I had even reconnected.
It was crazy to think that it could all come to an end just like that. Simply because of an ex who was as crazy as the day was long.
I sighed, feeling Jack’s eyes on me as he parked outside of our hangar. “Are you okay? You’ve sighed one too many times on this trip for me not to ask.”
“Let’s just get on the fucking plane.” I grabbed my stuff and stalked toward the jet once I was out of his car.
I dropped into the first seat I saw, not even looking around. Forget marveling at anything. I just collapsed into a chair and strapped myself in, my luggage on the seat beside me despite the safety concerns. I honestly didn’t give a shit.
Jack tried talking to me a few times on the flight, but I couldn’t bring myself to pay attention to anything he was saying. I just kept mentally running over what had happened that day in my office, hoping it would clue me in on exactly what she thought she had seen.
If I could do that, if I could put myself in her shoes and see the encounter through her eyes, I was hoping it would clue me in on what to say. On how to answer all her questions before she even asked them.
It was no easy feat, considering that my own memories of that day were so hazy with despair, fear, and disbelief, but I had to do it. Eventually, my brother seemed to get the message, simply making me a drink when he got one for himself and handing it over without saying a word.
I turned toward the window as I sipped it, wondering where I could even begin. In the end though, I realized there really was only one thing I could do, and that was to tell the truth. The whole truth and nothing but the truth.
So help me God. But seriously, help me, God .
I just needed Laurel to give me one minute—not even five—to tell her that Rainy, the girl she’d seen that day—was the crazy ex I’d told her about weeks ago. I needed to let her know that she’d been working at the firm since before she and I had even gotten together, and that I’d fired her because of how inappropriate her behavior had become.
Oh, and I had to let her know that I’d originally thought the lingerie was from her and that it had disgusted me as soon as I’d figured out that it wasn’t. If she would just give me the time I needed to tell her all that, I was sure I would be able to convince her to give me another chance.
There was nothing going on between Rainy and me, and I needed Laurel to know that I would never, ever even think about another woman when I had her to think about instead. Laurel Guntry was my dream girl.
The only girl.
I just didn’t know how I was ever going to get her to believe that. All I knew was that I had to do it. The future I wanted depended on it.