Chapter Three #3
At she turned back to look at him inquiringly, compelled to seize the moment despite having not yet prepared a pretty speech, he began, ‘There’s another alternative to a life of servitude with Aggie—or hiring yourself out as a companion or governess.
Or going for a soldier, God forbid! Marry me, Mouse.
We’ve always dealt well together. We understand each other.
We’ve been congenial companions since childhood, and I don’t think the years we’ve been apart will have changed that.
I admire and respect the talent your family underestimates and the wit your mother disparages.
You could help me manage the estate and I’d be happy to let you study and sketch as much as you like, at least as much as you would have been able to do as a companion to Lady Fallsham. ’
He halted, but as she remained frozen, her expression unreadable, he hurried on, ‘To be honest, I need you. The job of restoring Thornthwaite will be long and difficult. And… I truly want you. You know I care about you. I’ve treasured you since you were a child.
I can imagine us growing old together, a life lived in happy contentment.
So…would you do me the honour of becoming my wife?
’ he concluded, belatedly dropping to one knee before her.
She looked down at him, still silent and motionless. Until that moment not realizing how much he truly wanted her to accept, he said, ‘Is the prospect of marrying me…repugnant to you? Tell me honestly. I would never push you to do something you found…distasteful.’
Finally seeming to find her voice, she shook her head, saying faintly. ‘It’s not repugnant. Not at all.’
Encouraged, he said, ‘I know my declaration may seem sudden, but I assure you, I’ve been giving the matter considerable thought since I first mentioned the possibility of our marriage that day at Thornthwaite.
I would be honoured, relieved and very grateful if you’d at least seriously consider wedding me.
Helping care for Thornthwaite, which I know you love.
Taking care of each other. I think Ian would have approved. ’
He shouldn’t have added that, seeming to use her love for his brother to press her. But the more he talked about it, the more he wanted to persuade her to accept.
There’d be no tedious search later to find a competent, compatible lady to wed.
No worries that some duplicitous female would echo all his thoughts and opinions just to win herself a countess’s coronet.
Marry Mouse, whose sterling character had been proved over the long years of their association, and he was certain they could create a happy life together.
Surely she’d conclude that remaining at Thornthwaite with him was preferable to being at the beck and call of a family that neither valued nor appreciated her.
That fact alone would be enough to prompt any other female into jumping to accept his offer. But odd, independent Juliana would make up her own mind. He couldn’t pressure her, even if he’d wanted to.
‘Please, get up, Rafe,’ she said at last.
At least it wasn’t an outright refusal. Trying to remain optimistic, he said, ‘Take as much time as you need to consider. And don’t worry; I won’t breathe a word to your family, I know your mother would have you drugged tonight and onto a coach to Thornthwaite with a vicar waiting at the door if she knew I’d offered marriage.
This will remain only between us until you make your decision.
Though it will be a severe blow to my self-esteem if you decide you prefer tending your sister’s children to marriage with me,’ he added, trying to lighten the fraught moment.
‘Are you sure, Rafe? Wed me now and you would be giving up any chance of marrying later someone for whom you felt a true passion. If…if after losing Thalia, you should encounter another such lady.’
Thalia. At the mention of her name, a brief but shockingly intense burst of the agony he thought long buried seared him, rendering him momentarily silent.
Shaking his head to clear it, he managed a smile.
‘I’m not at all interested in another grand passion; one monumental heartache was quite enough for a lifetime, thank you!
Having recovered from that unfortunate episode, what I wish for now in a wife is a woman I can respect and admire, someone who shares my preference for the country over London, someone intelligent, congenial and willing to work with me to restore Thornthwaite to what it once was.
Someone, in short, exactly like you—who offers the additional blessing of being a lady for whom I already have a deep affection.
With whom I share a friendship that is so much more comfortable and enduring than any “grand passion.” But having sprung this declaration upon you with so little notice, I’ll not press you for an answer before you are ready. ’
Deciding it was time to retreat with whatever tattered dignity he could salvage, he offered his arm, ready to escort her back to the house.
But as she laid her hand on his sleeve, the contact sent a shiver over his skin, strong enough to make him catch his breath and spark a response deep in his loins. His Mouse was a woman now indeed, and he was shocked to realize again that he desired her as much as he wanted her.
She wrapped her fingers around his arm, intensifying the sensations coursing through him, and gazed up into his eyes.
Did she feel the connection sparking between them, he wondered, stunned by that possibility and the unexpected power of his response to her. He stood as if rooted, gazing back down at her, unwilling to move a muscle and risk breaking the sensual bond between them.
Finally she released her grip. As he struggled to refrain from reaching for her again, she said, ‘Very well, Rafe. I will marry you.’
A surprisingly strong burst of elation filled him. ‘You will? Are you sure?’
Her face clouded briefly and she closed her eyes, drawing in a sharp breath as if fighting some fierce inner struggle. He feared for an anxious moment she might withdraw her acceptance before she nodded. ‘Yes, I will marry you.’
Deciding to overlook the fact that she hadn’t confirmed she was sure, he said, ‘Excellent. I suppose I must find your father and formally ask for your hand. When do you wish to marry? If it’s agreeable to you, I’d like to remove you from Edgerton Manor as soon as possible.’
‘I can agree to that!’
He smiled. ‘I’d carry you off across my saddle bow this very day, if it wouldn’t cause so much gossip.
It’s too far to go to London for a special license, but only a day’s ride to obtain one from the bishop.
We could be married at the parish church within the week.
But before I leave to obtain one, I’d like to escort you and Baxter to stay at the Dower House until I can bring you into Thorne Hall as my bride.
I don’t want you to ever have to deal with your mother again. ’
She nodded. ‘A blessing devoutly to be wished.’
‘We shall do it, then. You can pack some necessities while I speak with your father.’
It was only natural that she might have reservations, he reassured himself.
For years she’d considered herself pledged to his brother, and her alternative upon losing him hadn’t been marriage, but spinsterhood.
But he’d make sure she never regretted choosing him.
He’d do all he could to help her flourish and to make up to her for having been belittled, demeaned and criticized all her life by a family that didn’t understand her or value her interests or her talents as he did.
‘It’s a bargain, then.’ He leaned down to kiss her hand—and on impulse, instead brushed a brief kiss across that tempting mouth. She sighed, her lips softening under his.
Rafe made himself pull away before the surge of desire her tentative reaction engendered induced him to deepen the kiss.
He reminded himself that she was still an innocent.
Though the response he’d just sensed in her made him confident she would be ready at some point for intimacy, he would take his time and initiate her slowly.
She’d already spent too much of her life pressured to conform to something she didn’t want.
And he wanted her to want him. Was he being foolish?
Brushing away the thought, he offered his arm again and she took it, sparking another delicious tingle of attraction. Making Juliana his wife promised a wealth of previously unimagined possibilities.
Best of all, his heart would be safe; the support, stable affection and warm friendship they shared would never turn into the sort of dangerous, soul-shattering emotion he’d barely survived once and never wished to experience again.
He’d wed his best possible choice in only a week. He could hardly wait.