Chapter 5
Music that blasted from the kitchen was the first thing I heard when I woke up the next morning.
I was lying on my back when I opened my eyes and slowly let them adjust to the light.
I turned on my side and jumped when I saw a brown body lying next to me.
It took me a moment to recall the events of the night before, and I smiled when I recalled them.
Princess was still beside me, tangled in the sheets, hair wild.
Her face was relaxed in such a way that it made her look younger, the way she used to look when we were teenagers.
She looked so peaceful, like she never needed to question who she was or what she wanted.
It was also a trait that I admired about her.
I scooted close to her, brushed her hair back with my hand, and kissed her on the cheek. “Good morning, Prin,” I said gently.
She groaned, turned on her back, and faced the ceiling. Her eyes slowly opened, and once they adjusted to the light, she faced me.
“Hey,” she stated through a smile.
“Hey, baby,” I replied. “You look like you slept good.”
She giggled and yawned, stretching her arms out into the air. Suddenly, she bolted upright. “Oh—fuck.”
My brows furrowed. “What?”
She threw the covers back like they’d burned her skin. “Zay. Oh my god. Yana’s probably already up.”
“And?” I sat up and stretched my arms.
“And I’m still in your bed!” She hissed. She stared at me like I was supposed to have an escape plan.
I laughed, low and lazy. “Princess, she’s sixteen. She not blind.”
She shot me a look through squinted eyes. “You think this is funny.”
“It kind of is,” I said. “Relax.”
She paced the room with a blanket wrapped around her. “We didn’t plan this. We didn’t talk about this.”
“Okay,” I said, sitting up now. “I get it. Just sit down. Let’s talk about this.”
It was then that I’d realized that Princess wasn’t panicking because of guilt.
She was thinking like a mother, like a parent.
I hadn’t been in that position before or ever thought about how to handle a situation like that.
Princess was thinking about not confusing her, about not putting something fragile in front of her before we were even sure what it was.
She stopped pacing and looked at me. “What are we gonna say?”
I shrugged. “The truth.”
She sighed. “You make everything sound easy.”
“I don’t try to,” I said. “I just don’t think that hiding it makes it any better.”
The truth was, I wasn’t afraid of Yana knowing we loved each other.
I wasn’t afraid of her seeing two people who cared deeply and weren’t ashamed of it.
Princess tried to protect her, and I respected that, but I wasn’t going to run.
That was why I was so relaxed. For once, I wasn’t lying to myself about how I felt.
I was willing to stand in the truth and see what came next.
The music from the kitchen turned from my first album to smooth R you always have. I just don’t want to get in the middle of that.”
“I know,” I said. “I know that’s how you always felt, and I know that’s why shit went down between us like it had.
I’m dedicated to my work, yes, but . . .
” I paused. I couldn’t think of the right words to say to explain how I felt without running her off as I had in the past. I sighed and hung my head.
“But there gotta be a way.” From my peripheral, I saw her head drop as she studied my face, like she could read my mind.
“People do this all the time,” I continued.
“People have families and careers. Even Otis next door always has hundreds of kids. I wonder how that nigga does it.” I spoke the last sentence more to myself than to her, and the words hung in the air like a beat waiting for a verse.
Princess didn’t speak. Her eyes dropped to her hands as she picked at a string on her pants and flicked it to the ground.
Something inside of me shifted in her stillness.
I’d never taken a chance on anything other than my career, and I felt that Princess and Yana, my family, were ones that I was willing to bet on.
“I’m open to figuring it out,” I said, “if you are.”
She leaned back on the couch and propped one arm on the armrest. She met my eyes with hers and took a deep breath. “Just be honest with me about everything. We can take this as slow as we need to.”
I nodded slowly. “I can do that.”
And for the first time, I didn’t feel like I had promised something I couldn’t give.