The Nice Guy

Chapter 30

Chapter Thirty

Brynlee

My hands feel clammy as I walk up the front steps of Rhett’s house. I’ve never seen the inside before, and he carries all of the leftovers Lydia gave me to put in his fridge until I leave. Part of me doesn’t want to leave, but I can’t just give in. I have to be strong.

It’s hard to be so strong after hearing his mother’s voice on my voicemail.

Hearing what she had to say, I knew I had to talk to Rhett before I made any final decisions about what to do.

Being by myself and alone with my own realizations does me no good.

I need to understand exactly how we got here to begin with.

“I can take your jacket,” Rhett says after he puts the containers in his fridge, and I can feel his nervous energy.

At least I’m not the only one feeling this anxiety.

I nod my head in thanks and slip it off before stepping out of my boots. His house is a nice little bachelor pad. From what I can see, it looks to be a one-level, two-bedroom, one-bathroom home that looks more like a log cabin. It has a charm I hadn’t expected.

“This is nice,” I say and walk into the kitchen to look around.

“Do you want somethin’ to drink?”

“Water would be great.”

It’s all very dark, but it’s masculine. Like him.

He hands me a bottle of water and takes one for himself. His hands shake, and I want to reach out and hold them. No matter how strong the urge is, it’s not my place anymore. Not now.

“You’re not having a beer?”

I’m trying to find something, anything, to relieve the awkwardness between us. We’ve never had this issue before, and I don’t really know what to do.

“I’ve been doin’ enough drinkin’, so I decided to cut down before I develop a problem. Do you want a tour?”

Shrugging, I nod. “Sure.”

I hate how uncomfortable things feel with us. Everything always just fit when we were around each other before. Even when I couldn’t tell if he actually liked me or not, it was comfortable.

“Well, this is the kitchen,” he says with a small smirk, and I mirror it. “And this is the small dinin’ area. The livin’ room is in here.”

I follow him into a small, dark but masculine room with a leather couch and leather recliner. I kind of like it. “No Christmas decorations?”

“Not this year,” he says. “Back there are the two bedrooms and a bath. There’s a half bath off the kitchen by the mudroom. It comes in handy when I’m workin’ in the garage. I’m kind of glad I cleaned yesterday, otherwise this would be a very different tour.”

“I’m not that high-maintenance,” I say, but I’m secretly happy he cleaned, too. I can only imagine how a blue-collared man’s home can get when left to his own devices. I picture dirty socks and empty beer cans everywhere.

He turns to face me, a frown on his face.

“Trust me, you don’t want to know what this place looked like before.

Everett and I have been hangin’ out here, and there were beer cans towered on most of the tables.

And the bathroom hadn’t been cleaned in…

I wish I could tell you. That’s how long it had been. ”

Against my will, I smirk. “Well, I’m glad you did, too, I suppose.”

“Can we talk before I give you your gifts?”

The mention of gifts makes me bristle. Just like Kevin. “Yeah, that’s fine. You didn’t have to get me anything. I don’t have anything for you.”

“You’re here,” he says and sits on the couch. “That’s all I could have wanted.”

I pick the recliner to sit rather than take a seat next to him to give us space. As hurt as I am, being this close to him makes every nerve stand on end. I want him just as much as I always have, and I hate it. I wish I didn’t, but that’s a feeling that will probably never go away.

“You never texted me.”

Shaking my head, I frown. “What?”

“The voicemail I left after callin’ enough times to warrant a restrainin’ order asked you to let me know you’re safe.”

My eyes can’t meet his. “I, uh, never listened to it.”

“Oh.”

“I couldn’t. I didn’t know what you had to say, and I was scared. If it was a continuation of what you said outside the bar, I knew I wouldn’t be able to handle it. And I didn’t dare hope it was an apology, so I just left it.”

“Brynlee, I’m so sorry. I... There’s no excuse for the way I acted. If I wasn’t such an idiot, I would have just talked to you and solved the problem before it became one. My insecurities got the better of me, and I lost my mind. There’s no other explanation.”

Disappointment fills me because I hoped he’d tell me he loved me.

That he wished he said it before I left, and he wants me to hear it now.

That he wants to tell me every day until forever.

But at this point, I don’t know if he’s apologizing to get me to stay and keep me as his friend, or if he wants to get back together.

“What happened, Rhett? I’m still… The whole time I was gone, I kept trying to figure out what flipped. I still can’t figure out why you changed on me the night before Thanksgiving. What did I do?”

“It wasn’t you,” he says quickly. “God, I hate that you think this was anythin’ you did. I—”

He stops and sighs like he’s wrestling with the words. Like he’s debating whether he should tell me the truth or a lie. I just want to know what happened to the man I fell in love with. Where did he go, and is there a chance of getting him back?

“I was at work that Wednesday, and I overheard my employees talkin’ about your ex. Some of the stuff they said about us got to me, and I looked Kevin up. When I did, I saw the weddin’ countdown with people still commentin’ on it.”

“That’s why you kept saying I was marrying Kevin?

” I ask. At least that answers one of my questions.

“I had no idea it was still active until I was in the kitchen talking to your mom. His mother didn’t let me have any control over the wedding details, and I didn’t know Kevin hadn’t told anyone I left him. But why didn’t you just ask me?”

His eyes shift to look at his hands as he fiddles with them in his lap.

God, I miss his brown eyes. “Because I always expected you to leave me. In two days, I went back and forth between tryin’ to show you I could be the better boyfriend and then wantin’ to cut my losses to maybe save myself the smallest bit of pain when you left.

I’d convinced myself that if I told you I knew, you’d leave me sooner.

Talk about a spiral of terrible decisions. ”

“I don’t understand why you don’t trust me.”

“I did. I do.”

“No, you don’t. If you did, you wouldn’t have assumed everything we shared was some type of fling before I married someone else. That was the final straw with Kevin. He cheated. Repeatedly. I would never do that to him or anyone else. That’s not trust, Rhett.”

He runs his bottom lip between his teeth before nodding his head. “I have no argument for that. I never looked at it that way. You’re right. You’re a hundred percent right. And I have no reason not to trust you.”

I’m not really sure what to say to this. Thank you?

“You were in Chicago?”

“Uh, yeah. I flew instead of driving. Figured it was safer that way. Did I give you enough money for the parts you ordered?”

Rhet runs a hand over his face before shrugging, his gaze still avoiding me. “I have no idea. The money’s still in the envelope in the kitchen. Did you go back to Kevin?”

The audacity! “Are you kidding me?” I ask and stand. “This was a mistake.”

“It’s just a question,” he says, chasing after me as I grab my boots. “I’m not accusin’ you. I just, uh, I need to know for my own peace of mind. Whether you did or didn’t doesn’t change how I feel about you. And if you did go back to him, I’d have no one to blame but myself.”

“And how do you feel about me, Rhett?” I stand with my boots in my hand. “Because all I know is that you told me I wasn’t enough, and now you’re accusing me of going back to my ex who I had to throw out of town. You never, ever trusted me.”

Sighing, he closes his trembling hands into fists and won’t meet my eyes. I decide I’m done. “I love you, Brynlee.”

“What?” I stand there, frozen and bent over with one foot in the air like a confused flamingo.

“I love you. I’ve loved you since the moment I met you, and I was too stubborn to tell you. In my stupid reality, you couldn’t feel the same way. I never dreamed you could love me back, and I always thought you’d leave me.”

Setting my foot down, I drop the boots rather than set them down like Mama always instructed. There was no kicking off shoes in her house. “I did. I said I love you, and you told me you didn’t think I knew what love was. You didn’t believe me.”

“I believe you,” he whispers. “I believe you loved me.”

Past tense. Yeah, like this feeling’s going anywhere soon.

“Why did it have to get to this point?” I ask, finally frustrated and angry.

“Why did you have to humiliate me and hit me where you knew it would hurt the most rather than just talk to me? This became unbearably difficult and painful when we could have been happy this last month, basking in the glow of finally admitting our feelings aloud. Now we’re…

I don’t even know how to define what we are. ”

“I want you back,” Rhett says, his eyes locking with mine. “Whatever it takes, I’ll do it. Just tell me what you need from me, and I’ll make it happen.”

“Rhett—”

“I’ll move to Chicago. I’ll move to New York City. You want a dog? Cat? Brand new house built in Australia? I have no idea how to go about doin’ all of that, and I’m sure I’ll need to get a passport, but I’ll make it work. For you, I will do anythin’.”

I can’t stop the words as they come out. “And if I was with Kevin in Chicago, would that change things for you?”

His jaw clenches, but he shakes his head no. “I can’t fault you for anythin’ you did after I pushed you away. The thought of you two together makes me want to shove my fist through a wall, but I still love you. I’ll always love you.”

“I never saw Kevin,” I say. “I just wanted to see your reaction. It wasn’t a nice thing to do, and I’m sorry. That wasn’t fair.”

“I deserve it.”

“No, you don’t. No one deserves to have their insecurities thrown in their face. Trust me, it hurts, especially when it comes from someone you care about.”

Closing his eyes, he takes a slow breath before releasing it. “That’s what I did to you.”

“You know me better than anyone ever has, and you used my weakness against me. Publicly. If we were alone, I would have argued with you, assuming it was said out of anger, but I’ve never been the type to get into screaming matches with someone in public. I don’t want to be that girl.”

He opens his eyes and locks his gaze on me again.

Those gorgeous eyes I’ve dreamed about every night since I left.

“It’s my fault. It’s all my fault. But for the record, I never meant you weren’t enough.

I thought you didn’t want to have him arrested because you loved Kevin.

It hurt me, and that’s what I meant when I said it wasn’t enough.

I should’ve gone after you right away and apologized. ”

“The entire time I packed my bags, I prayed you’d show up and stop me. You never did,” I say, and I hate the tears in my eyes.

Tears fill his brown ones, and my heart breaks looking at him. “I wish I would have. Every night since you left, I’ve thought about all the things I would’ve done differently. Should have done. I drove three hours on the interstate searchin’ for your car, but I was too late.”

His pain hurts, and my lip quivers. “You came after me?”

“Randy said I was about half an hour behind you. I missed you by half an hour.”

“I didn’t think you’d do that,” I whisper.

Reaching out a shaking hand, he drops it before he touches me. “I’m sorry, Brynlee. That… You should always know I’ll come for you. If I had any idea where to find you in Chicago, I would’ve gone out there. I almost did so many times, and I wish I had.”

The tears fall, and I put my head in my hands. He ran after me. He wanted to stop me.

“Why are you cryin’?” he asks with panic in his voice. “I didn’t mean to make you cry. It’s the last thing I ever want to do. I’m doing this all wrong.”

I shake my head but can’t look up at him. “I didn’t think you wanted me anymore. That you didn’t come for me because I was the only one who fell in love.”

His arms wrap around me, and I hug him back.

“You weren’t the only one. And I always wanted you.

That’s somethin’ you should never have to question, and if you can find it in your heart to give me a second chance, I promise you’ll never question it again.

I love you. I love you more than anythin’.

And I mean it when I say I’ll do anythin’ to make it up to you. ”

I just stand there, letting him hold me. It feels good. So good, and I wish it didn’t. I wish I could be the girl who walks away and tells him he screwed up losing me. Instead, I long to be his again.

“I don’t know what I need,” I finally say.

“Will you give me a second chance? Let me show you how good I can be to you.”

Stepping back, I wipe my eyes and look up at him. “You were good to me. Until you weren’t. I miss my nice guy. I know you hated being called that, but he’s the man I fell in love with. The guy I needed, and then he was just gone. I’m scared to get my hopes up in case I lose him again.”

“You won’t. You won’t lose him, Brynlee.

That guy who hurt you is gone. Far, far away, and he’s never comin’ back.

I want to be the nice guy you loved. It’s the only thing in the world I want right now.

To be the man you love. The one who opens doors and brings you wildflowers. The one who worships you.”

“I need a little time before we jump right back into things. We jumped fast the first time, and I can’t help wondering if that’s what broke us. Why you couldn’t trust me.”

His hands take mine. “I do trust you. But we can take it slow. I just need the chance to show you I’m goin’ to deliver everythin’ I promise. You loved me for who I am, and I had no reason to be insecure with you. I just didn’t know how to recognize it until now.”

“Where do we go from here?”

“Let’s start with the gifts I have for you.”

Here we go again. Just like all the guys before him. Maybe things won’t be different.