Chapter 32
Chapter Thirty-Two
Brynlee
The sunlight on my face wakes me, and I have Rhett’s arms wrapped around me. It’s the first night I’ve gotten real sleep in weeks, and I gently climb out of his embrace and walk to the bathroom.
After relieving myself, I grab a bottle of water, a dinner roll from the bag on the counter, and move into the living room. It’s still early, and I pull the quilt from the bag to wrap around me as I sit on the couch to look through everything again.
The gifts Rhett gave me mean more than anything I’ve ever been given before. I’d trade everything Kevin ever gave me for just the scrapbook alone. He knew how much I wanted to know my family, and he did what he could to make that happen.
Setting the book on my lap, I flip through the pages and smile as I recognize Rhett’s handwriting. The pictures around his stories feel like a portal into another time.
Everyone says I look like Mama, but I see certain traits I share with Kathleen. It’s hard not to feel like I’ve missed out on so much. The dates next to the images could have me in them if things were different. And maybe I’d have met Rhett sooner.
Just like last night, I get stuck on the page with my pageant picture.
I stare at it before bursting into tears, and I hate that I had no idea Daddy cared enough to keep tabs on me.
I know Mama wouldn’t have sent him anything, and this just feels like something I should have known somehow.
Wiping my eyes, I realize this isn’t the picture published in the papers like I thought.
“Brynlee,” Rhett calls and walks out wearing a pair of black sweatpants and a gray sweatshirt. “What’s wrong?”
“I didn’t think Daddy cared,” I say and wipe at my cheeks.
“He took that picture,” he says, tapping on it as he sits beside me.
My head snaps up to look at him. “What?”
“Mackle said your pops took that picture. Sent this copy to Mackle to show off his daughter. He was so proud of you.”
“He was… He was proud of me?”
His arm wraps around my shoulders, and he kisses my temple. “Do you want the other book?”
“Please.”
He leaves and returns with another scrapbook even thicker than the one he made me. “I’ll check with Mackle to see if he meant for us to keep this or not.”
I hope it as he sits beside me again, and I stare at the pictures in front of me. They start from the time I was born until he left. Pictures I’ve never seen before. “I don’t remember these.”
“You were a cute kid,” he says and points to one of me in front of a birthday cake for my fourth birthday. “There are letters at the back.”
Flipping to them, I read the first one.
John,
Brynlee had her first dance recital today. She’s only six, but she has the skill of a teenager. Her mother, of course, told her every mistake she made afterwards, but she performed beautifully. I can’t let Kathy know I’m here for these things, otherwise I’ll never see my girl again.
It’s so hard being part of my daughter’s life from a distance.
I know Kathy won’t tell her that I fought for her.
I can’t really blame her for not wanting Brynlee to know me.
My problem almost hurt our girl, and I’ll never forgive myself for that.
On the bright side, it was the moment I knew something had to change.
Do me a favor. If anything ever happens to me, and you get the chance to meet her, please make sure Brynlee knows there was more to me than my addiction. That I loved her so much, and I’m so sorry if she ever felt like she wasn’t enough.
I couldn’t make Kathy happy and give her the life she wants, and it devastated me. So much so that I had to dull the pain before it killed me. I never expected it would get out of hand like it has.
I want my daughter to know I loved her, even if I couldn’t be around. She’s so beautiful, and I know whoever she ends up with will be a lucky man. I just hope he deserves her and can give her more than I could give her mom. I want her to find happiness.
Joey
“I didn’t know… Mama never told me he had a problem. And I don’t know what he means when he says he almost hurt me.”
“I’m not sure. I haven’t read through these. I thought you should be the one to read them first,” he says and rubs my arm.
Things make sense now. “Mama rarely drank in front of me, and she was only a social drinker. She did everything she could to discourage me from partaking, and I thought it was something to do with vanity. But what if she was trying to protect me?”
“They say addiction can be hereditary.”
“She could have made him a monster to me, but she never told me why they ended things. All she’d say was that they wanted different things.”
“I’m sure Dr. Mackle will know more. I’ll message him and ask him to meet us for dinner or somethin’. Or just you.”
Looking up into his eyes, I smile. I’m so grateful for all of this. “No, I’d like you to be there. This is so extraordinary. You’re bringing me closer to my family. I love this so much, and I don’t know how to thank you.”
“Just knowin’ you’re happy makes it worth everythin’. You smiled last night in a way I haven’t seen in a while, and I was glad to be the one to put it on your face. Especially since I was the reason you stopped. I love you so much that I never want to take it away again.”
“I love you, too,” I say and kiss him gently.
“Any chance you’d be willin’ to come to Mama’s for brunch?”
Last night felt like we made so much progress, but it’s hard to feel sure. “What will that tell them?”
“That you’re stickin’ around. You are stickin’ around, aren’t you?”
Am I? “I think so.”
“You think so?”
I hate the sadness taking over his otherwise happy demeanor. “I love my house. My grandparents’ house, but there’s still uncertainty with us.”
“What do you mean?”
Here it goes. Will he be the man who hurt me because he was hurt? “I don’t know if I can fully trust you yet.”
“You don’t trust me?”
The pain in his voice nearly breaks me. “If my life was in danger, I believe you’d do what you could to help me. It’s trusting you with my heart that I’m still unsure of right now. This is all really thoughtful and amazing, but it doesn’t quite outweigh the hurt. Not yet.”
“What do you need me to do?”
I shrug. “I don’t know. I need to trust that you want this for the long haul like you say you do. That you won’t decide you don’t believe I love you and try to push me away again. I need to feel that what we have is safe again.”
Nodding, Rhett licks his lips. “I want to marry you and have kids with you. If you’d come back and told me you were pregnant, I don’t think I could’ve been happier.”
“You say that now, but I’m scared it won’t last. That you’ll freak out and not want me like—” He stands and walks out of the room. I stare after him, dumbfounded. “I guess the conversation’s over?”
I hear a drawer open, and he walks back out with a box in his hands. “This isn’t what it looks like.”
Opening it, I see a ring. A beautiful, elegant diamond ring. “Uh… what is it? Because it looks like an engagement ring.”
“It is,” he says, “but this isn’t a proposal. Not yet.”
“Yet?”
“I bought it the week after you left. It wasn’t planned, and I kind of just stumbled upon it. When the woman pulled it from the case, I knew it was for you. The idea of marryin’ you excites me, and I want to give you my last name.”
Okay, I’m confused. “Why are you showing me this?”
“Because I don’t know how else to show you that I’m in this.
I’m fully in this, and I have plans. Big plans.
And to make sure I achieve them, I have to be the man you fell in love with.
I’ll never accomplish what I’ve set out to if I’m not, and it’s my incentive to prove myself.
To one day put this on your finger and tie our lives together forever. ”
Holy shit. “It’s beautiful, Rhett.”
“I know it’s nothin’ like the ring Kevin gave you based on the pictures I saw, but this looks more like you. The woman I know. It’s you in jewelry form. Beautiful and timeless.”
“And you aren’t proposing?”
“Not right now. It might’ve been a bad idea to show it to you, but I kind of…
Well, I’m kind of panickin’. I’m scared to death you won’t believe me when I say I love you, or I’ll do whatever it takes to prove myself to you.
I can’t live without you again, Brynlee. My life doesn’t feel real without you.”
Smiling, I bite my lip. “Can I try it on?”
“Sure. It’s yours. When we decide the time is right.”
He takes the ring from the box and slips it on my finger. Staring, it’s gorgeous. Beautiful and perfect. Everything my last ring wasn’t.
“It’s the right size,” Rhett says with a smile. “I wasn’t sure, but the lady said we could get it resized.”
Something unexpected washes over me. I can’t tear my eyes from the ring on my finger. The ring Rhett picked out and saw me wearing. The ring that fits my personality as well as my grandma’s pearls.
“Rhett?”
“Yeah?”
“Ask me to marry you.”
His eyes widen as I finally look up from my hand. “No, Brynlee, this isn’t how a proposal should be. It should be thought out and planned. I have a couple of ideas I’m workin’ through that involve flowers and candles—”
“Ask me to marry you, Rhett.”
He swallows. “I don’t want to upset you or make you think I don’t want to marry you more than anythin’, but this isn’t how it should be. You deserve more than this.”
“You gave me family heirlooms I didn’t know existed and the history behind them.
You sought out people who knew my grandparents, and you put together a book of memories for me.
You’re giving me an opportunity to know Daddy and see that he always loved me.
And when I questioned your commitment, you showed me you have plans.
Big, big plans. I can’t think of anything more romantic. ”
“I suppose there are other things I can plan with candles and flowers,” he says and gets down on one knee. “Brynlee Carmichael, will you marry me?”
“Yes.”
“Yes?”
I nod with enthusiasm as I smile, tossing the quilt off me and leaping into his arms. “Yes. Yes. A million times, yes.”