Violet #2
Violet didn’t know what to say to this. She had an odd feeling in her chest and it took a moment to recall when she’d last experienced it.
She thought it might have been when she was awarded a commendation in her medical final exams– that was it.
The feeling was pride. It seemed to have been a while since she felt proud of herself.
‘But last, and by no means least,’ said Dr Corbishley, ‘is the detailed and evidenced praise from a colleague who has been working closely with you this past week. Staff nurse Cindy Dellagio. Ward ten.’ His eyes scanned the first page and overleaf.
‘She mentions your excellent attitude, your support, and mostly your attentiveness to those patients who don’t necessarily seek out attention but who benefit enormously from it.
She says how much she has enjoyed working with you, and when I add this to the comments that Anjali has made over the past few months, I’m happy to say that I’m extremely impressed. ’
‘You are?’
He smiled. ‘Yes, Violet. Your dedication, knowledge and attitude to work is exceptional, and while it is important to reflect on complaints and take steps to improve where possible, do not make the mistake of dwelling on them. You’ll never make everyone happy.
A good doctor does not have to be friends with everyone.
Sometimes you are the bearer of bad news and sometimes you need to put your foot down if you feel a patient’s health or well-being may be at risk.
’ He handed her the sheaf of papers. ‘It seems you have the balance right, Violet. Here, take these, you can keep them for your appraisal.’
‘Thank you,’ she said, rising from her chair. And then she paused. She wanted to leave on a positive, but she had to know. ‘There’s nothing else is there? Nothing from a Mr Snell, for example?’
Dr Corbishley frowned. ‘Mr Snell in general surgery,’ he said. ‘No– nothing. Why?’
Violet sighed. She didn’t want to say anything but she couldn’t have Barney holding this over her forever. ‘It’s just that he caught me kissing a colleague in one of the ward offices,’ she said in a rush. ‘It was a stupid thing to do and I’m terribly sorry.’
Dr Corbishley considered this for a moment and Violet closed her eyes praying that she hadn’t just sent her career down the plughole.
‘Hmm,’ he said eventually. ‘Kissing someone in an office, you say. Was patient care compromised at all as a result of this little indiscretion?’
‘No, definitely not.’
‘Well.’ He shrugged. ‘I dare say worse breaches in protocol have occurred, many of them within the surgical department, so I imagine Mr Snell will not be feeling the need to draw it to my attention. But Violet…’
‘Yes.’
‘Thank you for your honesty and candour. Excellent qualities and very much to your credit. Now– let us say no more on the matter, hmmm? Run along and enjoy your New Year’s Eve celebrations. Perhaps save the romantic liaisons for the stroke of midnight– somewhere off site?’
‘Yes, Dr Corbishley. Thank you, Dr Corbishley.’ She folded the letters and tucked them into her bag.
‘Oh, and Violet?’
‘Yes?’
‘Happy New Year.’
* * *
Violet went to retrieve her bike from the stand contemplating everything that had happened since she’d parked it there the evening before.
When she’d walked to Gus’s flat she’d been a mixture of hopeful expectation and anxiety.
Worried about her job, nervous about the fact that she was falling for someone, excited that the someone seemed to be falling for her…
How much had changed. She’d been unceremoniously dumped, her favourite patient had died, and she’d narrowly avoided sexual assault and blackmail.
All that on top of twelve hours’ medical on-call.
But astonishingly she felt stronger than ever.
Her fears regarding her attitude to work, to colleagues and to patients, had turned to pride.
And much of that she had to concede, was down to Gus.
He had been the one to suggest how she could approach colleagues with more diplomacy, not backing down, but simply being polite and respectful of their feelings.
He had been the one to instil her increasing confidence with practical procedures and to help her understand that it was okay to feel like a failure occasionally, that nobody became an expert in this job immediately, that it took practice.
He had, as she’d realised earlier, allowed her to imagine a place where she could fit in– helped her to see her perceived weaknesses as strengths.
Her honesty, her candour as Dr Corbishley had put it, was an excellent quality it turned out. Who would have thought?
Thankful that she’d remembered her swimming stuff she cycled first to the lido.
It wasn’t so much that she needed the narcotic effects of the cold to help her sleep, more that she wanted to clear her head.
To reset. It had the desired effect, and after twenty lengths she emerged refreshed and invigorated.
Back in the changing rooms the older woman who had talked about her grandchildren was wrestling on her neoprene boots with her usual vigour. They exchanged hellos.
‘Not here with the handsome fella today then,’ the woman said conversationally.
‘No.’ Violet pulled her towel out of her bag and began a brisk rub down. ‘I don’t think he’ll be coming here again. Not with me at least.’
The woman eyed her shrewdly and then nodded. ‘I see,’ she said. ‘Well, it’s not for everyone.’ She crossed the floor of the changing room and gave Violet an awkward little pat on the shoulder on her way out to the pool. ‘There will always be other people to swim with, dear.’