Chapter 25
Sam
I’M STILL ON the couch staring into nothing when the knock comes twenty minutes later, startling me into awareness. With a shake of my head, I go to the door and open it, only to lose my breath once more.
He’s leaning against the doorframe, arm raised against it, head bent. His gaze rises to meet mine. His other hand is in his track pants pocket. “Sam.”
“Colin.” We stare at each other, neither of us moving, until a gust of late January wind rushes around us. I shiver. “Come in.”
He walks in and I close the door behind him, then lean against it. He turns to me, looking so damn good that I want to cry.
I know what that beard feels like against my lips. I know what it feels like between my thighs.
He takes a step toward me, and I straighten, walking around him and staying out of his grasp.
“I don’t know why I reached out,” I confess.
“Can we sit?”
I hesitate. This was a bad idea. My stomach bottoms out at the way he’s looking at me.
“Please?”
Swallowing hard, I nod. “Okay.” I tuck myself into the corner of the couch as he sits on the other side.
I want him closer. I want him as far away from me as possible. I’m a mess. A complete mess.
“We can’t get an annulment,” he finally says.
I meet his eyes, the golden starburst around his iris seeming to glow as he stares back.
“It’s hard and requires a ridiculous number of steps,” he continues.
“So…we’re stuck?” I hate the way my voice sounds almost hopeful. Which is stupid. I want this marriage over. Don’t I?
“No, but.” He pauses, searching my face. “What if we just –”
I think I nod. I must. All I know is that one minute I’m tucked into a corner of the couch, and the next I’m straddling him, and we’re kissing, and it’s everything I’ve wanted, and my god his hands feel so good on me.
“Sam,” he groans, pulling away and meeting my eyes. “Tell me to stop.”
I shake my head. “Don’t stop.”
Everything goes quiet. He holds my gaze as he reaches behind my head to pull my hair out of the ponytail. His fingers thread through my hair, sending goosebumps over my flesh.
I lick my lips and his eyes snag on the movement. He wraps his hand around the hair at the nape of my neck and holds it softly. “Tell. Me. To. Stop.”
But I can’t. Part of me screams to say it, but my heart won’t let me. This won’t end well. I know it won’t. And despite the pain I know waits at the end of this – pain that I can’t be bothered to care about, not when I have him in my arms – I won’t. “Don’t stop,” I whisper.
He squeezes his eyes closed as his grip on my hair tightens. When they open, I’m not looking at the Colin I know. This one is dangerous. Feral. Raw.
And I want every bit of him.
“Now, Colin,” I demand.
All I get out is the now, because he pounces. His mouth crashes onto mine with a ferocity that takes my breath away. Moments later, he surges upright, forcing me to wrap around him as he stalks through the small apartment to my bedroom, our lips fused.
With a growl, he tosses me onto the bed, giving me no time to recover before he’s crawling over me and settling between my legs. He cages my head between his arms and takes me in, the gold starburst in his eyes seeming to darken as he gives a slow roll of his hips.
I moan at the sensation.
“I have thought of this for so long,” he says, his voice nearly breathless with need.
I swallow and nod. “Me, too.”
“You’re sure?”
“Yes.” And I am. Even though this is reckless and stupid and can’t possibly end well.
“Do you have any protection?”
I tilt my head to my bedside drawer. “But…”
A perfectly thick eyebrow arches. “But?”
I can’t control the soft whimper he pulls out of me with another roll of his hips. He’s so hard. “But I have an IUD, and I’m clean. I’ve not been with anyone but you since I got here.”
His eyes soften. “Seriously?”
“Yeah.”
He clears his throat. “Me too. Clean, I mean. I’ve not – I don’t –”
I kiss him to shut him up, his beard tickling my skin. When he pulls away again, he nods. “Okay.”
“We don’t have to,” I assure him, running my hands through his hair. “I just want…everything,” I admit. I can’t hold his gaze.
“Sam,” he breathes. Then his mouth is on my neck, kissing and licking, while his hand travels up my shirt.
“No bra,” he murmurs appreciatively, drawing away from my skin just long enough to yank my shirt off.
I nod at the polo. “Yours, too.”
He reaches behind his head and tugs it off, revealing a sculpted chest with dark hair.
I let my eyes travel down his body, relishing the taut stomach that doesn’t boast a six-pack, but instead has the kind of thickness that comes with age.
I reach up to touch his chest, and he puts his hand on mine, trapping it over his heart as we stare into each other’s eyes.
“You’re beautiful,” he whispers. “So fucking beautiful.”
I take him in, the way he’s on his knees before me, the light from my bedside table bathing his skin in a golden glow. The way his muscles twitch with the effort it’s taking him to hold himself back. The hair that falls into his eyes as they darken with his perusal of me.
“Let me have you.” It’s not a request. Not really. Not with the way he’s looking at me, as if I’m a meal he’s waiting to devour.
My body tingles with need. The need for him to touch me. To have his mouth on me. To feel him inside me. I squirm beneath his gaze, my mouth dry. “Take me.”
He scoots back, tucking his fingers into my leggings and yanking them down as he goes. The move leaves me naked before him, and he rises to undo his pants, dropping them and his boxers to the floor and pulling his socks off.
Then he stands before me, his thick cock jutting out proudly as he stares at me. He wraps his hand around himself and gives it a tug, making me lick my lips.
He groans. “Fuck, Sam. When you look at me like that.”
Wordlessly, I spread my thighs, tracing a path from between my breasts down to between my legs, letting him see that I’m just as affected by him. “Put your money where your mouth is, Thicke.”
His eyes snap to mine, his nostrils flaring. He rounds the bed as he chuckles, the sound more dangerous than anything. “With pleasure.” He grabs my ankles as he kneels, yanking me to him.
His lips are on me without hesitation, and I sigh at the sensation.
He works me like a maestro conducting an orchestra, his tongue the bow on the strings of my body.
Taking me high and fast before slowing and relishing every moan he pulls out of me.
His beard scratches the sides of my legs, the roughness of it against my skin adding a level of intensity that has me writhing beneath him.
One hand reaches up to palm my breast, squeezing hard enough to make me gasp.
Then he hits the perfect spot with his tongue, and I beg, “Don’t stop. Please, right there. More.”
He obeys, settling into the flawless rhythm and pressure that I need.
Pleasure ripples through my body as my legs shake, so close that I can barely breathe.
He doesn’t let up, doesn’t waver, simply tucks my legs tighter around his head to give them relief.
The move is so fucking Colin that I nearly sob with gratitude.
Instead, I come apart, the orgasm ripping through me as I yell, my hands gripping the bedsheets beneath me.
My chest heaves as I struggle to get air, and I swear I see stars on the ceiling. He coaxes me through it, not allowing me to pull away from him as my body thrums.
“Holy fuck, Colin,” I manage.
He grunts as he stands to his full height, a disheveled god of debauchery as his gaze rakes down my body. “Turn over,” he commands.
My eyes go round.
“Grab a pillow, turn around, and put it beneath your hips.” His tone brooks no argument.
I obey, more than a little apprehensive, but also…maybe a little excited.
He traces a finger down my spine as he kneels between my legs, pushing my knees apart without apology. Then he’s lifting my hips and licking my pussy, his tongue thrusting inside me before pulling back and nipping at my flesh.
“This ass,” he murmurs. “Do you have any idea how good it looks? How you fucking torture me in those leggings? Christ.” He delivers another bite, soothing it with a kiss as he slides a finger between my legs, pushing one into my pussy.
I moan.
“Lift them higher.”
My hips rise without conscious thought, my walls contracting around his finger.
“Fuck, Sunshine,” he growls. “You’re ready for me, aren’t you?” as another finger joins the first.
“Yes,” I hiss. “Colin –”
He removes his fingers and shifts behind me, positioning himself at my entrance. “Beg for me.”
I can feel the heat flare on my face, but I do it anyway. “Please, Colin. Please put your cock inside me. I need it. Need you. Fuck.”
He pushes inside me, but not all the way. He curses.
I roll my hips as he pulls out and pushes in again, getting deeper this time but still not there. “Colin,” I gasp.
He repeats the movement. “Let me in, Sunshine,” he murmurs. “Let me give you what you need.” Then he leans over to press a gentle kiss on my shoulder before readjusting behind me. “Breathe in.”
I inhale.
“Now out.”
On my exhale, he slides home.
“Fuck,” I grit out as my walls clench him.
He wraps a hand around me and finds my clit, rubbing in slow circles. “You can take it,” he says against my neck. “You’re so fucking tight, Sam.”
I take another breath, my body finally relaxing as he circles his hips slowly behind me. “More,” I whisper against the bed.
He hears me, withdrawing and going in again. This time, there’s nothing but pleasure, even though the feeling of fullness remains. I’ve never felt anyone this deep. Gradually, he increases the pace, his hands on my hips as he pistons into me.
“There you go,” he says. “Take me all the way.”
He bands his arm around my chest and lifts me so that my back is against his chest, changing the angle as he thrusts. “Feel good?”
“So good,” I manage to say. “But I want to see you.”