Chapter 25 #2
He doesn’t hesitate to change positions, sitting back on his knees and moving the pillow so that I can lie on my back. Wordlessly, he lowers himself into the cradle of my legs and slides in.
He feels so good. So, so good. We moan together as I bring him down for a kiss. He lets his forehead rest on mine for the briefest of seconds as we look at each other, and I see nothing but tenderness and adoration. My heart squeezes.
Dangerous. This is dangerous.
He blinks and rises up, the expression replaced by a sexy smirk. “Finally have you where I want you.”
I struggle to hold his gaze as he enters me. “Where’s that, exactly?”
“Under me. Now say my name.”
Fuck, that’s hot.
But I don’t do it, lifting my chin defiantly.
He grins, then thrusts again. “Say my name, Sam, or I’m going to deprive you of this cock.” He stills.
I wiggle my hips, desperate for more, but he puts a hand on my waist and stops me. He’s stronger than I’ve given him credit for. “Say it.”
I stare at him, not wanting to give in. Needing to hold on to this last bit of myself, but wanting him to fuck me more. He doesn’t move.
“Colin.” I barely part my lips as I let the word out.
He pushes in. “That’s a start,” he praises, then withdraws. “Now I want you to say it louder.” He rams home.
“Fuck, Colin.”
His eyes flare. “Good. Louder.” He thrusts in.
“Colin!”
He goes harder. “Give in, Sam.” Sweat beads on his forehead.
I absolutely scream his name as he fucks me, his body surrounding me, his cock filling me, my entire world made up of him. Only him.
“Again.” The command is guttural, strained and taut like the muscles in his neck as he works above me. But he never breaks eye contact.
“Matthew!” The name comes out without my consent, more instinct than anything.
He stills, an expression of naked guilt flashing across his face before it darkens again into desire, feral and unbound. He thrusts, hard and deep, and I whimper.
“That’s right,” he growls. “Say it.”
“Matthew.” My voice is soft, ending in another moan of pleasure as he thrusts home again.
His rhythm is slow but punishing, his hips rolling to find every last part of me and filling it.
I’m overflowing with every emotion I can name, and plenty I can’t. Want. Need. Fear. Adoration. Awe. Disbelief. Gratitude at being fucked so thoroughly, and sadness that no one will ever hit the bar that Colin is setting at this very moment.
I pull him to me, wrapping my arms around him as he picks up speed. Shoving one hand into the hair at the nape of his neck and digging the nails of my other into his shoulder, I whisper in his ear. “Make me come.”
He thrusts.
“Please.” My voice hitches as he thrusts again.
He groans against my neck, both of us sweaty and breathing hard, as he lifts my ass with one giant palm.
The move angles me just right, and I cry out as the pleasure coils within me.
“Yes,” I gasp. “Yes, right there, right there, right –” And I scream again, shattering beneath him, fracturing into a thousand little pieces that I am absolutely, one hundred percent certain I will not be able to gather back up.
“That’s it, Sam,” he praises. “Squeeze my cock. Take all of me. I’m yours.” With one last groan, he follows, his cock pumping inside me.
His last words hit me like a freight train, and I mentally scramble away from them like they’re the edge of a cliff. That’s not what he meant. He was literally coming. No man thinks straight when they’re balls-deep in a woman, least of all him.
He starts to roll off me, but I tighten my arms around him. I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t let go.
The scruff of his beard brings me back to earth as he kisses my shoulder. When his lips find mine, they’re soft and searching, almost delicate. I open for him, and inside that kiss I feel every emotion mirrored.
Our eyes meet when he pulls away. “Hi.” The smile that follows is almost bashful.
My own lips tip up. “Hi.”
“Did I hurt you?”
Yes, but not the way you think. “No.”
“You gonna let me get up now? Let me clean you up.”
My stupid heart. I nod and untangle my legs from his.
He pulls out, the evidence following in a warm gush.
He hovers above me, then lowers his head to take a nipple into his mouth, sucking and licking so much that I want to yank him back down for round two.
He releases me and meets my gaze. “I didn’t pay any attention to them and needed to.
” He shrugs without apology, then gets off the bed. “Washcloths?”
“Under the sink,” I answer as he turns away. Jesus, that man’s ass is delicious.
He cleans me up when he returns, the washcloth warm, his touch tender and thorough. I pat the mattress, and he falls onto it beside me, rolling onto his back and threading his hands behind his head. For one brief moment, he’s the picture of contentment, his body relaxed, his face free of conflict.
Then he turns to me and props his head in his hand. Silently, he slowly traces a finger along my cheek, down my neck to my collarbone, then around a breast before moving to my hip and squeezing.
I turn.
“I…have a proposal.”
I mirror him, putting my head in my hand and waiting.
“What if we –” He stops, clears his throat and looks away. When he meets my eyes again, his expression is tender. “That was incredible. You are incredible. What if we keep doing this?”
I stop breathing. “This?”
“Keep, ah, sleeping together. But quietly. Get a divorce later, after the season ends.” He reaches for my face, cupping my cheek as he leans forward to kiss me.
I rear back, my thoughts in an absolute riot. “What? You want this to be a secret?”
He lowers his hand. “It’s not perfect, I know. But…” he trails off, running a palm over his face. “It could work.”
“I don’t –” I start, then stop, considering. This isn’t what I want. Not even close. But it is a way for me to have him. And I need to know if Vegas really was a mistake. Because if it wasn’t, then maybe…maybe this can turn into something.
“Sam.” His eyes search mine, those golden starbursts almost hidden by the blue and green of his irises. “I’ll stop if you want me to. I’ll leave and we can pretend this didn’t happen.”
I swallow hard, my stomach roiling. “I’ll do it.”
He stills. “Really?”
Last chance. I could take all this back. Demand he do as he promised and make his life a living hell until it’s done. Or I could follow my stupid heart and give in. Let myself be loved in secret.
A coin flips in my mind’s eye, light glinting on silver as it lands. Resolved, I answer him. “Really.”
He beams, oblivious to my inner turmoil.
In fact, the man seems to lose every burden he’s ever carried right in front of me.
He closes the distance between us and pulls me into his arms, kissing me deeply.
I breathe him in, relishing the weight of him as he surrounds me and telling myself that this is enough. Having him like this will be enough.
And later that night, when he takes me for the third time, I pretend it’s real.