Chapter 26 #2
Ella gave Ben a look that told him she did not believe him and said, “We’ll see, big boy. When you have to start tying my shoes because I can’t reach them, let’s see how sexy you think I am.”
Ben laughed and pulled Ella close for another kiss. Just then, the timer on the stove went off.
“That is dinner.” Pulling away, Ella made her way to the kitchen as she said, “You go wash up. Is soda okay or do you want something stronger?”
As Ben quickly walked toward the bathroom to wash his hands, he said, “Water please. I have had way too much caffeine today.”
Over the next half hour, Ella and Ben enjoyed their dinner and bantered back and forth in a comfortable, peaceful way they had not since their early days in Malibu.
All through dinner, Ella tried to find the right time to bring up the idea of their future plans and the possibility of going to a marriage counselor.
Things were going so great, she hated to ruin the moment.
Instead, she let the conversation run its natural course.
After dinner, they quickly cleaned up, and Ella was not surprised when Ben picked her up and carried her to the bedroom the second the kitchen was cleaned.
Ben ignored Ella’s demands to put her down because she was too heavy to be carried.
Instead, he laughed as he tickled her saying, “If you insist on wearing tiny little panties and a thin T-shirt that I can see through during dinner, you will have to suffer the consequences.” Luckily, it was only a few steps from the kitchen to the bedroom.
Once there, Ben dropped Ella softly on the bed and proceeded to dole out her punishment in the most delicious way.
Later, as they lay in bed snuggling each other, Ella no longer had to worry about how to bring up their future plans. Ben did it for her.
“Hey, there is something I want to talk to you about. I know I have said that we should wait until after John is born to talk about the future, but I have been doing some research and wanted to tell you about it.”
Sitting up, Ella pulled the sheet up to cover herself and replied, “That is great. There is something I would actually like to talk to you about too. I mean, about our future and all.”
Nodding, Ben said, “Okay, let me go first, then you can go.”
Ella nodded.
“I think I have come up with a great solution to our problem about what to do about your grad school issue. I did some research. UALR has an environmental grad program that is all on-line. You can enroll and still be able to take care of John, and I can start Bowen.”
Giving Ben a blank look, Ella was quiet for a moment, then said, “Let me get this right. You want me to give up my free ride to Michigan, one of the premier environmental grad programs in the country, to pay to go to ULAR online while I stay home with John, and you start law school as planned?”
Smiling and nodding like he had just found the key to world peace, Ben replied, “Yes, isn’t that great? That way we both get what we want.”
For a second Ella did not respond. She continued to look at Ben incredulously.
Grinning, Ben urged, “Say something. What do you think?”
After a moment, Ella said, “What do I think? I think that stinks. No, I don’t think that is a way for both of us to get what we want.
It is a way for you to get what you want.
Why should I have to give up a plum placement at a top tier grad school that I worked my butt off for to go to UALR.
No offense to UALR. I am sure it is a perfectly good school.
Also, I don’t have any money for grad school.
I have to go where I get a free ride. And I know how hard it is to stay engaged with all online classes.
If I am taking care of John all day by myself, I don’t see how I will be able to do it. ”
Letting out a huge sigh, Ben rolled his eyes.
“Why are you being this way? You know that money is not an issue. I have plenty. I will pay for your tuition. And if we need to hire daytime help, we will. No problem. Don’t you see?
This solves all of our issues! Why can’t you just be happy about this?
You get to go to grad school, and everything works out the way we need it to. ”
Throwing back the covers and jumping out of bed, Ella grabbed her T-shirt from where it lay discarded on the floor and violently tried to pull it over her head.
When it did not go on smoothly, she growled and threw it across the room.
She ripped open dresser drawers until she found one of Ben’s T-shirts, then pulled it over her head.
Then turning toward Ben, she all but shouted, “No, Ben. Everything is not working out how we need it to. That little plan of yours lets everything work out like you want it to. But what about what I want? Did you ever stop to think about that? I want to go to Michigan. I have spent the last three years dreaming about it and working my butt off to earn that free ride that you are so keen to see me just piss away.”
Ben threw up his hands in the air, exasperated.
“Why are you being so overly dramatic? I have heard you say many times it is not where you go to school but how you apply yourself. We both know that wherever you go, you are going to be the top student. You are going to graduate knowing more than everyone else. What difference does it make if you go to Michigan or UALR?”
“If that is true, why don’t you go to law school in Michigan? Why do I have to be the one to give up my dreams and completely change my life?”
At that, Ben jumped out of bed, grabbed his boxers where they had fallen on the floor, and began hastily pulling them on.
“For one, I have to go to law school in the state where I am going to practice. Second, you told me that you chose Michigan because it would prepare you to work in Napa. You are never going back there, so what difference does it make where you go?”
Ella froze at Ben’s words. In a very small voice, she asked, “What do you mean, we are never going back to Napa?”
Giving Ella a look that said he thought she was being stupid, Ben said, “Well, duh. Our lives are here in Arkansas. This is where I am going to practice law. This is where we are going to raise our family. This is where we are going to live.”
In a small quiet voice, Ella asked, “When exactly did we decide that?”
Not realizing how close Ella was to losing it, Ben snapped, “When we moved here. What did you think was happening?”
Giving Ben a penetrating look, Ella said, “I thought we were coming for you to finish your grad project and to help your dad. If you will remember, when we decided to marry, I thought you were doing your grad project in California. Then, just like tonight, you waltzed in one day and told me that had all changed. You said you needed to move here for your dad and his campaign. You never said it was forever. I thought we would go back to California eventually. I never signed up to live in Arkansas for the rest of my life. I am sure I would have remembered it if I had.”
Growling, Ben yelled in frustration, “Hell, Ella, you knew darned well that was the plan.”
Pointing a finger in his face, Ella snapped back, “Stop cursing at me. I did not know that. Obviously, you did. That would have been really good information for me to have had at the time. Maybe if I had, I would not have come so easily.”
“What does that mean? Are you saying you regret marrying me and moving here? Would you have rather I left you in California, unmarried and alone with your very Catholic family judging you?”
At Ben’s words, Ella’s head literally snapped back. “Are you saying that you only asked me to marry you because of the baby? You promised me you would never say that. If I had not promised never to slap you again, I would do it now. Really hard.”
Without giving Ben a chance to respond, Ella spun on her heels. Turning and grabbing her cellphone and water off the nightstand, she started marching toward the guest room.
Ben reached out and grabbed Ella’s arm before she could get by him.
“Ella, slow down. You know that is not why I married you. I love you. Yes, the baby may have sped up the process, but I married you because I love you. I am sorry if my plan seems self-serving. I really am trying here. Please calm down.”
Taking long deep breaths, Ella stared at the ground for several minutes.
“Please, Ella, say something. I can’t believe how quickly this night has gone south.
All I have thought about since I got your text this afternoon was having you here and sleeping with you in my arms. Let’s just take a step back.
Maybe the UALR thing is a bad idea, but give me a little credit.
I am trying here.” Ben took Ella’s face in his hands and lifted it so she had to look him in the eyes.
“Please come back to bed. Let me hold you. We won’t talk about this anymore tonight.
Your doctor’s appointment is first thing in the morning.
I will clear my calendar and come with you.
We can have breakfast afterward. No more talking tonight.
Let’s go to sleep. We will revisit this conversation later when we are both more calm. ”
Ella thought she was pretty calm for someone whose whole life was being dismantled, but she did not say that.
Instead, she nodded, put her phone and water bottle back down, and crawled back into bed.
Ben joined her under the covers and quickly wrapped her in a solid embrace.
Ella would have said that after such an awful fight, she would take hours to fall asleep, but pregnancy had changed her sleeping habits.
She was out like a light in minutes. On the other hand, Ben lay awake, holding his wife and worrying long into the night.
Things were not going the way he assumed they would, and he had no idea what to do about it.
The next morning, Ella was up and dressed before Ben.
When he walked into the kitchen to fix his coffee, he saw that Ella had already done it for him.
Handing him a cup of coffee with cream and sugar as he liked, Ella gave Ben a sweet smile.
He felt hopeful that maybe they had moved past the events of the night before.
Ben’s wishful thinking ended when Ella said, “I think we should see a marriage counselor to help us figure this out.”
He spit his first sip of coffee halfway across the room.
“A marriage counselor? Are you crazy? We just got married. Why would we need to do that? Only people who have been married forever and headed for divorce need something like that. That is not us. We are fine. We just need a little more time to figure this out.”
Giving Ben a direct look, Ella responded, “Ben, I am serious. I want us to see a counselor. It might help us find a middle ground.”
“Well, I think that is stupid. I am not going. If you feel you need to go and talk to someone, go ahead, but leave me out of it. I did all that counseling stuff after my parents got back together. That was enough for me.”
Ella continued to give Ben a look that told him she was not messing around.
“Ben, I mean this. We are going to do this, and we are going to do it together, or I am going back to California. I will leave once the study is done and have the baby out there. Either this is a marriage of equal partnership where both parties get a say, or it is not. You decide, but just know, I mean it. Either we at least give a therapist a try, or I am out. Your call.”
Ben stood looking at Ella for several seconds without blinking, then said, “Fine, you set it up. I will go one time, and one time only. When you see how useless it is, you remember who made us go.” With that, Ben poured his coffee down the drain and headed for the door.
As Ben was about to walk out Ella asked, “Hey, I thought you were going to go to the doctor with me and to breakfast afterward.”
Ben stopped in his tracks. He had evidently forgotten about that. Turning, he said, “The doctor’s visit. Of course. I forgot. Let’s go in two cars. I will follow you to the clinic. As far as breakfast goes, I have lost my appetite.”
Ella knew Ben was pissed about her forcing him to see a therapist with her, and she wondered if she even wanted him to go with her to the doctor.
They would be doing another scan today, and Ben loved watching John on the screen.
She considered telling him not to come. But Lynn’s words about not keeping score flashed through her mind.
She had just dropped a bomb on him that she knew he was not going to take well.
Deciding to cut him some slack, she gave him a kiss on the cheek as she passed him on her way out the door.
Keeping all tone out of her voice, she added, “It is my seven-month scan. I know you will love seeing the baby.”
Giving Ella a look and deciding to drop his own attitude, Ben replied, “Yeah, I will like seeing that.”
Ben followed Ella out of the condo and locked the door.
Ella knew that he was not completely over being mad at her, but at least he had agreed to counseling.
She prayed it would be as helpful for her and Ben as Lynn had said it had been for her marriage.
If not, Ella was not sure what their future would hold.
Therapy had to work. It was all they had left.