Chapter 21
chapter twenty-one
luna
Gabe
Why do I keep seeing posts from people I don’t follow?
Luna
Because social media is pay to play now! You have to favorite the accounts you like to make sure you see their posts.
Gabe
I thought that was the point of following them in the first place?
This doesn’t make sense.
Luna
OMG. You just did the double text thing!!! What a milestone! Let me screenshot this real quick.
“I can’t believe Kriz is in fucking Spain while we’re stuck here working on this stupid assignment.” Chloe glared at her laptop screen.
The spreadsheet in front of me had so many numbers they nearly melted together into one fuzzy blob. “I know, but I don’t envy her having to catch up with all her classes. I have no idea how she does it.”
Chloe grunted. “For starters, she doesn’t kill herself trying to get straight As like you do.”
Because Kriz didn’t have to. Neither of them did. And now that I’d declared a minor, I needed to work twice as hard to ensure I kept my GPA up.
My phone pinged on the table, and I grabbed it before Chloe saw anything she shouldn’t. Tapping the notification, I bit my lip to try to keep from giggling as I read Gabe’s new message.
I couldn’t believe he’d texted twice in a row.
Honestly, I still couldn’t believe he was texting me at all—let alone every day.
“Don’t tell me that’s Kai. There’s no way that boy can earn that kind of reaction.”
I locked my phone screen right before Chloe wedged her shoulder beside mine and peered down at it. “Hey, Kai’s a great guy. He’s the nicest.”
“He’s so nice he’s boring. Does this mean you finally put him out of his misery and fucked him?”
My eyes widened. “What? Of course not! He’s my friend plus my coworker.”
She shrugged. “Doesn’t mean you two can’t hook up. He’s obviously into you—and you need to destress. When’s the last time you got properly dicked?”
“Shh! We’re in the library, Chloe!”
“You don’t think people aren’t doing the deed here?” Her voice dropped. “I highly recommend the natural sciences section. It’s isolated enough that you can get away with, well, getting off.”
I plastered my eyes to my laptop and tried to shake the mental image she’d painted for me. “Good to know. Can we go back to our assignment now?”
“I have a better idea. Let’s take a break until . . . I dunno, seven?”
“Two hours? Are you going to take a nap?”
“If you want to call it that, sure.” Closing her laptop, she picked up her phone and began scrolling.
I drew in a breath and released it before speaking in what I hoped was a reasonable tone. “Chloe, this is due tomorrow.”
“We still have tonight.” Then she stretched as if we’d been working for multiple hours instead of just one.
“I have other things to do tonight.” Logically, I could review my macroeconomics lesson while she took a break, but she was the one who’d insisted we meet this afternoon. I’d had to switch shifts with Kai to accommodate her schedule, and I was tired of always having to tiptoe around her so I wouldn’t mess up our shaky friendship.
“Fine. Give me an hour.”
My skin grew hot and tight. “Look, if you don’t want to do this, fine. I’ll do it on my own.”
She blinked at me, as though surprised by my tone. Laughter sputtered out of her. “Well, well, well. Did Miss People Pleaser finally grow a backbone?”
I sat upright. “I’m sorry but?—”
“Don’t back down now, Lulu.”
The nickname that sounded affectionate coming from Kriz dripped with condescension when it came from Chloe.
“Do you have to be so hostile?” I blurted out.
“I love the SAT word, but you can give it to me straight. Call me a bitch; I don’t mind.” She flipped her hair over her shoulder. “I know exactly who I am, and I’m not faking shit. What about you?”
I stared at her, my throat suddenly dry.
Standing, she grabbed her purse. “I’m grabbing a coffee.”
Then she left me to stew over her words. She’d pretty much accused me of being a faker when all I was doing was trying—to give people what they needed from me, to live up to my family’s expectations. To become better than who I was.
Did it count as faking when you were striving to be someone you weren’t?
I tried to concentrate on my spreadsheet and actually be productive, but my brain kept returning to that question. Snapshots flashed in my head, evidence of the times I pretended to be someone I wasn’t. There were too many to count, and Chloe’s words hit me again.
I know exactly who I am , she’d said.
Could I say the same about myself?
To my surprise, when Chloe came back, she had two iced coffees in her hands. She plopped one in front of me, then we dove back into our data and formulas without addressing our earlier exchange. She left as soon as we finished while I stayed a bit longer to get a head start on my macroeconomics review. In reality, I just needed time to lick my wounded pride.
I took the long route out, and my feet brought me in the direction of the campus store. The Closed sign hung on the glass door, but I spotted Kai inside, wiping the cashier counter. I waved my arms at him, and he looked up, beaming as he saw me.
Hurrying to the door, he unlocked it. “Luna! I didn’t expect to see you today. Done with your assignment?”
“Yeah. Thanks again for switching with me.” I smiled at him, but the muscles around my mouth felt worn out.
“Of course, anytime.” He squinted at me. “Hey, you okay?”
My lips wobbled. “Yeah. It’s just . . . Chloe and I kind of got into it earlier.”
His brows lifted and he mouthed an ahh . “I was planning to get pizza for dinner. You wanna join me? We can talk about it, or not talk about it; whatever you want.”
My study guide was waiting for me, but I needed to eat, right? “I could go for pizza.”
“Awesome.” He did a little bounce on the balls of his feet.
“We’re talking cheap pizza, right?”
“Hell, yes. Can you give me about ten minutes to finish closing up?”
“No rush.”
Later, we sat at a table outside Pizza Shack, our knees bumping against each other. It was a pleasant evening with a continuous breeze relieving the humidity, so people flocked to the alfresco dining area along the city center. It seemed like the entire Sterling population was out enjoying the weather.
“You’d think they’d have bigger tables considering their pizzas are massive.” I lifted a gooey slice of pepperoni pizza that was twice the size of my palm.
“They prioritized the number of seats over actual comfort,” Kai said. “So, do you want to talk about it?”
“It’s not as serious as it seems. It’s just that—” I didn’t know what to say that didn’t throw me or Chloe under the bus. Because as much as I wanted to deny her accusation, the truth grew clearer the longer I sat with it.
“Chloe’s a lot to deal with, huh?” Kai said, picking up on my hesitation to go into it in detail.
“It’s not that.” At least not today. “She helped me realize something about myself that I didn’t want to see.”
“When you say helped , I’m guessing it wasn’t some gentle nudge?”
I chuckled. “Chloe doesn’t exactly do gentle.”
“Don’t take this the wrong way, but I always wondered how you two became friends.”
“It was all Kriz. She and Chloe have been friends since high school, and when we met, Kriz and I clicked instantly. With Chloe, it was the opposite. The ironic thing was, Chloe and I ended up in the same major, so the three of us just started hanging out together.” My lips pursed together, and I added in a murmur, “I’m not sure if Chloe holds that against me, how I inserted myself in their friendship.”
“Kriz has to know you guys don’t get along that well.”
“She does, but I try not to make a big deal about it. I don’t want her to feel like she’s caught in the middle and has to choose, you know?”
“I get that. It’s a tough spot to be in,” he said.
I sighed. “Yeah. Chloe and I are just different, and there’s nothing wrong with that. She’s one of the most direct people I know, and she doesn’t care what people think about her. I wish I could be more like her in that way.”
“I happen to think you’re cool the way you are.”
“Thanks.” That made one of us. I glanced at the table and grabbed my chance to change the topic. “Oh my God, did you inhale your pizza or something? I’m not even halfway through mine!”
He shrugged and picked up his soda. “I can help you with your slice if you can’t finish it.”
Guarding my plate with my arms, I gave him a mock glare. “No way.”
He laughed and jumped to his feet. “I’ll get another slice. You want anything else?” At the shake of my head, he said, “Be right back,” and then he bounded inside the restaurant.
Smiling, I bit into my pizza. Kai was such good company, and I was glad I said yes to his invite. This was the perfect break between my study sessions—a cheap, delicious dinner with an uncomplicated guy I could just relax with.
Yet as I finished my slice, I couldn’t help but think of the one complicated man who kept taking my heart on a rollercoaster ride.