Chapter 23
23
THREE DAYS BEFORE HE LEFT ME
James hesitates at the door then strides past. ‘Tell me how you knew about that match.’ He’s pacing the room.
Where do I start? I want to say, but the tension radiating from James needs to be tamed first.
‘Let me make you a drink. Coffee?’ I head over to the hotel kettle. It’s an older version than the one on my wedding morning. The hotel has since gone under new management and it shows in the quality of the lilac bedding, the chip in the small white bowl containing the drink sachets.
‘I don’t want coffee, Liv. I want answers.’
‘Right.’ I sit and gesture to the bed but he continues to stand as I sit down. ‘I don’t know where to begin.’
‘How did you know what was going to happen?’
‘I told you—’ I watch his broad frame, the V between his eyebrows. ‘I’ve lived today before. In fact, I’ve already lived the next seven years.’
‘Is this a joke, Liv? I swear…’ He runs his hands through his dark hair and sits down, thick thighs filling the base of the chair; the chair that just a few days ago, he had hung his jacket on; the ja cket with a locket that should never have been seen on my wedding day.
‘It’s not a joke. Look, I don’t know how much time I have here. I could be here for the rest of today. I could be here for another week. I could be stuck here forever, so I’m going to cut right to the chase. This Friday, Kit is going to go for a hike and he won’t come back.’
James looks up at me, eyes almost black. ‘What do you mean, he won’t come back?’
‘He… I know how this is going to sound… We think he dies, but he doesn’t.’ James’s face relaxes a touch at that assurance. ‘Me and…’ I swallow. ‘And you. We spend the rest of the year looking for him. We spend days walking the coast, checking his social media accounts, searching the newspapers for any clue or hint that he’s been found. The evidence of him dying is strong enough that he’s officially pronounced dead. But he’s not. I think he planned the whole thing.’
James’s leg stops bouncing, his dark eyes boring into mine. ‘What? Kit wouldn’t do that.’
‘I could be wrong. I mean, I suppose he could have had amnesia or something but there are things I’ve learnt that make me think he planned it. Faked his own death. He goes for a hike in one of his favourite spots. His car is left in a car park he doesn’t usually use, but it’s busy. He walks a track that is popular, where he knew people would be able to say they’d seen him. I’m fairly sure he hides in a cave that search and rescue can’t get to, that we never found. He doesn’t use his bank cards ever again. His bag is found further down the coast. He doesn’t come back for seven years, James.’ I watch his thought process crossing his face.
‘But he does come back?’
I nod. ‘On the morning of my wedding’ – James’s eyes flash towards me – ‘I find a necklace he bought me in… my fiancé’s jacket. It’s engraved and there is a note from Kit.’
‘What does it say?’
‘ I’m sorry. I had no choice. ’
‘And the engraving?’
‘ Just jump. ’
I let the significance of the words sink in. James has heard me and Kit saying this to each other plenty of times in the past.
‘That doesn’t mean he’s not dead though, does it? He could have bought that and had it engraved before he goes missing?’
‘There was a receipt in the box dated the week before.’
‘So maybe your guy knows something about why he left. Did you ask him?’
‘I didn’t get chance, because I opened the hotel door and found myself here. In 2016.’ I turn to him, aware of the time ticking by on the hotel clock. ‘James, you have to think, is there any reason you know of that would make Kit do this?’
He shakes his head. The action less determined than before.
‘Yesterday, you went to our place… you and Kit had an argument. What was it about?’
He looks at me with surprise. ‘It was nothing.’ So he’s still not going to tell me.
I pause then continue. ‘Could he be having an affair with Rebecca?’ I ask.
James looks taken off guard but still shakes his head. ‘No. He wouldn’t do that to you.’
‘Just consider what I’m asking, James, just for a minute. If he was’ – I swallow again – ‘having an affair, would he tell you? Was that what you were arguing about?’
He rubs the back of his neck, sighs, looks to the door as though he’s about to bolt.
‘Please, James, this is real. I need to know why he left. ’
‘This is crazy.’ He gets up and starts to move across the room again.
I can see him mentally battling with everything I’m telling him. I can see him trying to weigh up the facts of the ten o’clock news and everything I’m saying.
‘Let me think this through.’ He continues pacing. ‘You found the necklace in your boyfriend’s jacket?’
I nod.
‘So that means he knows, right?’ James sits next to me, his leg bouncing again. ‘He must know Kit is alive if Kit’s given it to him to give to you?’
Tears blur my view for a second. I blink them away. ‘I think so, yes.’
‘Well, that’s your answer. You need to speak to him. He must know where Kit goes.’
I chew my bottom lip. ‘I have. He doesn’t know anything.’
‘You’re certain?’
‘As certain as I can be given he doesn’t like me very much right now.’ I give him a sad smile. ‘We haven’t fallen in love yet.’
‘Maybe you should ask him again?’ James continues. ‘Ask him if Kit has been acting weird, or if he’s asked for any favours?’
I meet his eyes, steadying myself. I reach for his hand. James’s body goes rigid and he stares at my fingers, beginning to link through his own. His eyes travel back up to my face. The room is still. Outside a door opens and closes. A TV in the next room switches off. I squeeze his hand gently.
‘I am asking him.’