12
Xavier and I make our way through the loud and crammed club. He grips my hand as we make our way deeper towards the bar. Beautiful people surround us as we begin to sweat in this heated yet sexy club.
“Xavier!” I look up and see a beautiful blonde yelling from behind the bar, my heart races as we approach her. She’s supermodel gorgeous with a stunning figure to go with it. “I see you’ve brought a friend!” she yells over the music. “I’m Mariana,” she reaches her hand out to me and I take it. I smile as I try not to look her up and down, but damn she is gorgeous. “Lina,” I nod then glance behind me at the dance-floor. Everyone is dancing to EDM and jumping to the beat. It’s impossible to not move your body to the music. It’s like it involuntarily knows what to do.
“She’s pretty.” I hear her say to him. “That she is.” I hear Xavier say from behind me. I smile with my back towards them as I continue looking through the crowds. Seeing everyone this happy is contagious. I grin from ear-to-ear as I look back at Xavier standing at the bar. I stare at him talking to the gorgeous blonde and my smile gradually fades. The reminder of what I’m doing here almost knocks me off my feet. Two thoughts fumble around my mind; one, we just killed a man, and two, I was in a place just like this the night I was taken. I feel the raw feeling of PTSD rushes through every inch of my body. I feel like I’m on the verge of collapsing. My legs begin to go numb as I stumble around.
Moments later I feel Xavier’s hand on my low back. I turn and see him towering over me holding a light-pink drink with a sliced piece of lime floating at the top. I take it and chug it back and he does the same. The two of us make our way towards the dancefloor hand in hand.
I look up at him as everyone around us dances. Then just like a movie, the entire club goes silent as our eyes lock onto one another. How can I be so vulnerable with a complete stranger? Trust someone I basically just met.
My heart flutters as Xavier flips me around and begins to move his body to the fast beats. He pulls my body up against his and I match his movements. I feel his fingers dip into my hips as the both of us continue to let the music completely and utterly take us over. We let the music drown out what happened earlier tonight. We killed a man, yes. But we also killed any evil future plans of his. Hopefully, by his death, we saved some women. At least that’s what I’m telling myself.
A handful of songs later, my face is now inches from Xavier’s as we continue to hold onto each other’s sweaty bodies. My cheeks hurt from smiling so much. I can’t explain why we mesh so well, but we just do. It’s like we completely understand what each other is going through, without having said a word about anything.
I run my hand gently over the back of his neck as the beat gets faster. Both of our heads bounce back and forth as we continue to smile at each other. I pull his head towards mine and our lips finally touch again. I fall into him as my body melts. Our tongues wrestle softly and I swear on my life—I’ve never been kissed like this. No, nothing like this. I feel his hands gently around my neck and I let out a small grunt. As our kissing deepens I feel his hands graze my bottom. I can’t take this anymore. I’ve never felt this feeling as intensely as I do right now. Slightly with Declan, but it always fizzed away after our kissing stopped. Twenty-three years of waiting and this is where it’s gotten me? Completely under the spell and mercy of a stranger named Xavier Almasi.
We both smile against each other's mouths as the vivacious club life continues around us. “You ready?” he pants and I nod nervously. Overthinking about what I just agreed to. He takes my hand and we walk through the sweaty crowd. I’m not sure why the farther we walk the bigger my smile gets, but it’s there and it’s beaming.
“Where are we going?” I ask out of breath. He looks back at me with a sexy smirk and I clench hard.
“Somewhere a little quieter,” he grins. My eyes trail down to his muscular butt as I continue to follow him. Every female we pass in the crowd stares him down hard. I smile with my mouth partially open. The sexiest man in Mexico has my hands in his. Where he’s leading me—I have no clue, but I follow him blindly and trustingly.
About five minutes later the two of us walk hand-in-hand down the paved roads. I look down the dark alleyways that we pass and my heart begins to feel uneasy.
“Are you okay?” Xavier asks and I take a long sigh before I respond back.
“I’ve killed two people now, Xavier. I don’t think I’ll ever be okay again.” I say softly and his face falls. He shakes his head in what looks like disappointment.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have brought you here.” He says and it’s my face that falls now. “No, I wanted to come. I needed to—” I paused with my eyes locked into his. “I needed to do this, okay?” I reassure him and he nods.
As our eyes hold I feel something inside of me instantly relax. It’s like my body knows I’m safe with him. There’s something about Xavier Almasi that calms me, something about him that makes me feel so utterly at ease and safe.
────
Xavier
Half an hour later the two of us sit on the beach. I watch her toes wiggle deeper into the cold sand as the waves crash in front of us. The chilly mist hits my face as the moon shines down on us. It’s lighting up her beautiful face perfectly.
The distant bar music bumps in the background as we both continue to stare out into the water. I look over to her and wonder what she’s thinking. But before I can ask her, she clears her throat.
“How many more people are left?” she asks, as her head stays looking straight ahead at the ocean.
“Two. Emerson and a—” I pause as I watch her eyebrows furrow.
“A woman?” she says hoarsely before clearing her throat again. “A fucking woman is part of this?” she shakes her head angrily. I nod and roll my eyes disgusted as well. How can a woman be part of such a screwed-up situation? But in this day in age, nothing surprises me anymore.
Silence falls between us again, the pounding of the waves on the sand echoes.
“Any whereabouts on them?” she asks and I shake my head. I know it’s not the answer that she was hoping for, but we haven’t found the two of them yet. All I have is his phony name and a blurred-picture of the woman. I won’t bother to show or tell Lina about the photo. It’s best she doesn’t see or know anything about the woman, it will just eat at her even more. Because when I would look up the people beforehand, it made me second-guess everything.
“I know that you want to go home and get back to your old life,” I say, turning my head to hers.
“My old life is dead,” she says with no expression. For once in my life, I feel like I can relate to another human being. Someone who has been through some fucked-up shit too. My old life is dead. Those words fumble around in my mind as I stare off at the water.
“But isn’t there something beautiful about that?” I suggest and her eyes hold mine. A crooked smile slowly appears on her face. She continues holding my gaze waiting for me to follow-up on such an odd statement. I chuckle under my breath.
“What I mean is, we can’t change the bad things that happened to us. Sometimes really terrible things happen to good people; people with good hearts and people with great ambitions. Sometimes we have to take a step back and really let those feelings of life’s disappointments and resentments sink in.” I bite the side of my cheek as we continue sitting there listening to the waves.
“Then just like a lotus flower, we rise from the mud. We rise from what was meant to destroy us, what was meant to dismantle us. We rise and we bloom,” I say softly. Her glistening eyes hold mine and I wipe the tear that falls slowly down her cheek. I feel her take my hand in hers and she presses it against her face as she closes her eyes. “We rise,” she murmurs as she stares back out at the water.
The connection that I feel with her at this moment catches me off guard. The misty breeze hits my face as I continue looking out at the darkness that surrounds us. I’m not sure how I’m going to be able to let this girl walk out of my life after this is all said and done.
────
I wake to a soft knock on the hotel door. I sit up and look over at Lina still peacefully asleep. She and I got in late last night. I almost forgot that we actually killed someone. It’s scary how I’m becoming used to this lifestyle; killing people then partying away the emotions that arise afterwards. Last night was different though, we talked for hours on the beach. We talked about our pasts and our family. Lina really is an amazingly strong and courageous woman.
I walk to the door and look through the peep-hole. I see Carl standing on the other side of the door looking from side-to-side. He looks anxious about something.
“Everything okay?” I whisper, opening the door.
“Um —” he pauses as I turn back and see Lina asleep in the bed. I step out into the hall and shut the door slightly.
“What is it?”
“They’re here,” Carl’s eyes hold mine and I swallow hard.
“Both of them?” I ask.
“Yes,”
“I will keep you updated on their whereabouts, but these two are always heavily guarded so it’s going to be really fucking tricky,” Carl says.
“The others on their way?” I ask.
“They’ve already landed.” He says and relief fills me as I smile confidently over at him. I knew we’d have to bring in my other guys when it was time to take out Emerson.
“Good. Keep me posted, Carl.” I say and he nods before turning away and walking down the hall. As I shut the door behind me I look up and see Lina sitting up in bed. Her brown eyes hold mine and she knows something is up.
“They’ve been found haven’t they?” she asks and I nod. “Where are they?” she bounces back quickly.
“They’re here,” I answer her quietly and her face falls.
“Do they know we’re here?”
“No, as far as I know. Now, Carl did say they are always heavily guarded so we’re going to have to be very careful.” I say and she nods.
“Just tell me what you need me to do,” she says as her eyes hold my gaze.
────
Xavier and I sit at a restaurant that faces the water. He’s been checking his phone non-stop since this morning. I know he’s waiting for any updates about Emerson or whatever his name really is. I’d be lying if I said that I wasn’t thinking about him too. He’s been lingering in the back of my mind for weeks. In the first few days after leaving the warehouse, I kept thinking he and his SWAT team would burst in at any moment to save me. But when Xavier told me the harsh reality that Emerson probably wasn’t part of the FBI, something inside of me quietly just snapped. I felt stupid for being so trusting. So naive to believe a stranger after being abducted.
It’s different with Xavier though. I’ve been with him for over a month now and I do trust him. I really do. I know he would never put me in any danger. And deep down I know he wants the same thing as I do, for me to go back home to my old life. I obviously can’t pretend all of this didn’t happen, but helping Xavier kill all the men responsible for this and for the deaths of my two best friends, Alex and Grace—well its given purpose during this messed-up time.
I look over at him looking at the water. His dark waves blow in the breeze and his deep tan skin glistens under the warm rays of the sun. I can taste the salt from the water as I breathe next to him. My time with him has been memorable. I smile as I watch him attentively. I’d be lying to myself if I said I hadn’t thought about him in that way. Wondering what’s under those khaki shorts. As the days go by, the need to know what’s beneath those clothes is ultimately consuming me.
“I’ll be right back,” Xavier stands and heads towards the bar that faces the resort’s pool. A few minutes later I feel a hand on my shoulder. When I look up I see a blonde man who is clearly intoxicated. He sits down in Xavier’s seat and crosses his legs. His arrogant smile makes me chuckle accidentally.
“I think you have the wrong table,” I say over to him and he smirks.
“Oh, I think I have the right table.” He says, scooting his chair closer to mine. Xavier and I make eye contact from the bar and I see his nostrils flare in anger and his law clench from all the way over here.
“I think I need to have a taste of this,” he places his hand on my crossed-legs. I shove his hand off.
“I think you need to leave,” I held his stare.
“And I think you need to leave with me. Let’s get out of here,” he says, reaching for my hand. I yank it back in disbelief that he really thinks I would go anywhere with him.
“I’m warning you. You need to leave.” I deepen my voice.
“And, I’m warning you. If you don’t come with me right now I swear I’m going—” he’s interrupted by Xavier yanking him out of his chair. Xavier looks him up and down slowly and chuckles angrily as the muscle in his jaw twitches.
“Wrong woman to fuck with,” he says as he shoves him away from our table. The man stumbles almost falling to the ground, then raises his hands in surrender as he walks away. I watch him disappear around the corner. When I look up I notice Xavier’s nostrils are still flared.
“Relax,” I reach my hand across the table and place it on his. His eyes meet mine and I watch as his mouth sets in a hard line.
“I could’ve handled myself you know,” I raise my eyebrows.
“Like how you handled yourself the night you were abducted?” He snaps back and my face falls. “Ouch,” I pull my hand back from his slowly. Not sure why that insult hurt as much as it did. But it stings right down to my core.
“I’m sorry—I,” I feel his hand on top of mine again, but I pull away.
“I’m going to go walk by the beach. Don’t follow me please.” I say as I stand up and push my chair in. Our eyes hold for a moment, but I quickly look away as unwanted tears fill them. Through blurred vision, I make my way towards the water.
────
The waves crash in front of me and I stare out at them as Xavier’s insult continues to replay in my mind. I’m not sure why he sank so low like that. And I’m not sure why at this given moment I flashback to my mother and I laughing together, but I do and my gosh it brings me so much-needed comfort right now. I can hear her contagious laugh perfectly; I smell her scent as I wish for the life of me I was next to her again. I refuse to let myself go through that rabbit-hole right now though, because at this point I don’t think I can dig my way back out.
Carl appears behind me as I'm wiping away my tears. I turn to see him dressed head-to-toe in black pants, a black V-neck, and dark sunglasses.
“Miss. Lina —” He pauses as I try to wipe away more tears that are streaming down my face.
“I’m fine, Carl. Really —”
“You're not, Miss. Lina.” He sighs. He doesn’t say another word, but he stands there. I can’t say why his presence makes me feel the way I do, but it does. It makes me feel protected. He makes me feel secure. I’m not sure how I’ll feel once this is all over and he’s no longer there in the distance protecting and overseeing me.
“You're right Carl, I’m not okay,” I say with tears streaming down my face. Why am I trying to make light of this entire situation? I have a right to be upset and angry. My world got turned upside down and I feel like I’m hanging on by a thread, like I’m about to come crashing down to my death. Except I can’t let that happen. I made a promise to myself that day and no matter how hard it will be I have to keep it.