27. Simon
“Quit pacing.”
I look over to Charlie, who is lying in a gown at the OB/GYN’s office, ready for her twenty-one week appointment.
Also known as the day we’ll find out that Baby Bug’s a girl.
“I’m sorry.” I sit down in the chair next to her, though my leg is still bouncing a mile a minute. “I’m just so excited.”
Charlie reaches for my hand, which I obviously give her, cupping it in both of mine. “I know you are. And so am I. But we’re not finding out today, remember?”
She narrows her eyes at me, which I’ve started fondly calling the “it’s your fault” look. “I know…But won’t it be that much more fun finding out at the gender reveal party?”
“The gender reveal party that I thought was going to be small but you’re going overboard with?”
“The very one.”
“So you’re excited that you want to know the gender right now. But you don’t want to know the gender because you want to be surprised at the party?”
“Exactly. It’s the baby father version of having your cake and eating it too.”
I kiss Charlie’s hand as our laughter fills the exam room. I love this woman for many different reasons, but this week’s main reason is because she’s letting me “go full Simon” with the gender reveal party. Her words, not mine. It’s on New Year’s Eve, and we are ringing in the year with a reveal. I’m talking live band, cake, cupcakes and every pastry Mellie can whip up, and of course, activities for all ages, including games and an indoor bounce house for the kids and betting tables for the adults on every single thing we can bet on when it comes to the baby.
This isn’t your normal gender reveal party—it’s a Simon gender reveal.
Go big or go home.
“Hello, Charlie. Simon. How are we doing?”
“I’m a little tired,” I say. “Busy, you know. Work. Baby coming.”
Charlie, along with Dr. Monty, give me the same baffled look.
“Oh, you weren’t talking to me. Got it.”
“Ignore him,” Charlie says. “I try to most of the time.”
This makes Dr. Monty laugh as she prepares Charlie for the ultrasound. I’ve been to every appointment with Charlie, but I don’t know if I’ll ever get over the awe and admiration I have during this process. Seeing it on the monitor. Hearing the heartbeat. Listening to Dr. Monty as she tells us about the growth, it’s…I have no words. It’s like the love I have for Charlie and the baby triple each time I see it. I can only imagine what I’m going to feel like the day Baby Bug is born.
“There it is,” Dr. Monty says. “Baby is looking good. Strong heartbeat. Have you felt it kicking yet?”
Charlie nods. “Yes. I’m already planning on karate classes in my future.”
“Sounds about right. And you want me to put the gender into an envelope without y’all knowing?”
“Yes—”
“No—”
Charlie’s confused look says it all. “No?”
I smile and kiss her hand again. “Put it in the envelope, but can you make two? One for the party, and one for us.”
Dr. Monty smiles. “Absolutely. They’ll be ready for you at the desk.”
I stand up to get Charlie’s clothes for her, but she just stays sitting on the table, a little dumbfounded as to what I just did.
“You really want to know?”
I nod. “I do. I want us to sit together in the future nursery. I want you to be in my arms when we open the envelope together. I want us to share the reaction when we see girl or boy. Just us. Nothing flashy. Nothing big. Just you and me and Baby Bug.”
Charlie’s in tears as she holds out her arms for me. “I love that.”
“I love you.” I wrap my arms around her, holding her tighter than necessary. “But we’re still having the party because I had to call in a favor with my bounce house guy, and I can’t get that deposit back.”
This makes her laugh as she comes up, wiping the tears away. “You have a bounce house guy?”
“Cute you think I didn’t. What kind of fun uncle would I be if I didn’t have a bounce house guy?”
She pops off the table and grabs her clothes. “One of these days I’m going to quit being surprised by you.”
I lean down and kiss the top of her head. “I hope you never do.”
“What’s all this?”
Charlie looks up from where she is on the floor of the nursery—which right now is just an empty room. “Dinner.”
I smile and sit down on the blanket that Charlie has laid out. Sandwiches. Fruits and veggies. A few slices of Mellie’s cheesecake. A bottle of sparkling grape juice.
And the envelope.
“If we’re going to make this a night to remember, let’s do it right.”
I dive in for a kiss, but make sure I’m careful to not let it get out of hand. We have important things to do tonight. “When did you do all this?”
A coy smile crosses her face. “You’re not the only one who has a guy.”
I laugh and swoop in for one more kiss. My hand goes to her stomach, which I do multiple times a day. Like Baby Bug knows what’s going to happen, I feel a kick.
“She’s really going,” I say.
“Yes, it is…”
“Any final guesses?”
She shakes her head. “Healthy. And prone to sleeping through the night.”
I laugh. “You know I want that too, right?”
“I know.”
Our foreheads touch as we take in the moment. “You ready?”
She nods. “Let’s do it.”
We take the envelope together and Charlie gently tears it open, but doesn’t take it out. “Together?”
“Together.”
Each of us takes a corner of the picture of the ultrasound from today that’s in the envelope. We turn it over, and there, in bright pink letters, are the words I always knew to be true.
“It’s a girl…” My voice is a whisper. “We’re having a baby girl.”
Charlie is smiling through the happy tears as we kiss and embrace and hold each other on the floor of the nursery where our daughter is going to grow up.
Daughter… Holy shit, we’re having a daughter.
“A dancer. Our little girl is a dancer…”
“Makes sense, seeing as you’re her father.”
I readjust so I’m now lying across Charlie’s lap, my head resting against where Baby Bug is doing her first performance. “Stella grew up dancing. I was dragged to more competitions than I’d care to admit, but I can see it now. We’re going to be dance parents, and I’m going to carry props on the stage and wear shirts that say ‘Prop Security’ and get into Dad Dance-offs. And win.”
“Obviously.”
“Or maybe she’ll want to be a soccer player. Or play basketball.”
“She can do whatever she wants.”
“Fuck yes, she can. Or maybe we have a musical prodigy on our hands. Or the first woman president. Or maybe she’ll want to go to space.”
Charlie’s laughter fills the room as I rattle off every single thing our daughter could be.
“You hear that Baby Bug?” I roll over to Charlie’s stomach. “I’m your daddy—wait, I can’t say that?—”
“Yes, you can,” Charlie says, running her fingers through my hair. “I lift the ban.”
I pop up for a quick kiss. “See Baby Bug? Your mama is the best ever. Anyway, as I was saying, I’m your daddy, and I love you so much already. And you can be whatever you want. Except an Alabama fan. In this house we cheer for Tennessee.”
“Really? That’s what you’re putting the boundary on?”
“Yes. And boys. Or girls. No dating until you’re thirty.”
“Don’t listen to him, baby,” Charlie interrupts. “I doubt he’ll be able to say no to the two of us when we team up against him.”
Shit. She’s right. I already know I’m going to be a pushover if it’s them against me.
“We’ll figure it out.” I move to my knees so I can lean down better to place a long kiss to her stomach.
To our daughter.
“I love you, Baby Bug.” I give her one more kiss before sitting up. “And I love you Bug.”
It’s funny that just a few months ago I didn’t know what love was. Not love like this. And now it consumes me so much I wonder how I went so long without it.
Though I know that answer. It’s because it’s Charlie. Bug. My Bug. There was going to be no love without her.
Because I’m nothing without her and this life we’re creating together.
Which means I need to tell her. Soon. Before it’s too late.
“Simon?”
“Yeah?”
“Does your offer still stand?”
I have to think for a second, because I’m trying to remember what offer I made her recently. “I’m not sure which one you are referring to, but the answer is yes.”
She giggles. “The one about me moving in.”
Did I just hear her right? Did she say she wants to move in?
“Bug…you’re going to need to be very clear with your words here to make sure I’m not hallucinating.”
“Simon.” Her smile is big and beautiful and I think I might remember this moment for the rest of my life. “Does the offer still stand for me to move in here? Because I thought it would be nice to live together for our first Christmas together, and the New Year. I talked to my property manager and he said?—”
“Yes!” I yell, hugging her so hard that we end up laying on the ground. Our laughter fills the room as I pepper kisses all over her face. I’m so excited it barely registers that she talked to Emmett about this and he didn’t tell me. I’ll have to give him shit about that later.
But not now. Now is for being in this moment with Bug.
I roll to my side so I can look at her.
The mother of my daughter.
The love of my life.
My Bug.
“I love you,” I say, leaning down to give her another kiss. “Thank you for loving me.”
“Thank you for bugging me until I did.”
I laugh and then it hits me. “Holy shit! I bugged Bug until she loved me! And because I bugged her, we have Baby Bug!”
I laugh as she rolls her eyes. “I knew I always hated that nickname.”
“No, you don’t.”
She runs her hand along my face. “I hate that you’re right.”
“Is that all you hate about me?”
Charlie shrugs and wraps her hands around my neck, bringing me down to her. “I hate that you’re not inside me.”
“Well, that’s funny…” I reposition myself on top of her, bringing her shirt up from her body as I do. “Because I hate that too.”