28. Charlie
“Bug? You here?”
I groan and fall without a touch of grace onto my bed. “Yes. But also go away!”
I know Simon isn’t going to listen, even though I’d like him to. And it’s not that I don’t want to see him. I do. But not like this.
I knew this day was coming. The day my clothes stopped fitting and I just felt pregnant.
That day came today, at twenty-two weeks pregnant.
There is now no doubt I’m with child. My boobs, which have never been small, are too much to handle. The morning sickness has slowed down, but only for the heartburn to ramp up.
Then came the day I knew was coming: Not one piece of my clothing fits.
Welcome to the halfway point, Charlie. Just wait until you’re as big as a beach ball…
For a while, I had some old, and very stretched out leggings that worked. Sweatpants have been my best friend.
They are now my enemy.
“Well, what do we have here?”
I turn my head to look at Simon, making sure he can fully see the daggers I’m shooting him.
“I’m fat and tired and everything hurts.”
I feel the bed move as I bury my head back into my pillow. I don’t know where Simon is finding a place to sit, considering my bed is currently covered in every piece of clothing I own. Hell, I don’t know how he made it into the room considering it’s filled with boxes and bags that I’ve packed to officially move to his place.
“We know my thoughts on this subject, but why are you saying this right now?”
“Why are you like this?”
“Like what?”
I turn again so I can see him. “Nice. And supportive. And wanting to say the polite thing instead of agreeing with me?”
Simon starts gently massaging my back. “Because I’m always going to support you. And tell you how beautiful you are. And contrary to popular belief, I am a nice guy.”
“I think me and four other people in this world know that.”
“The correct number is six. Eleven if you count their kids.”
I laugh and sit up, realizing at this point, I’m only in my bra and underwear. “You’re ridiculous, you know that?”
“Part of my charm.”
For some reason, this makes me start to cry. In my defense, everything makes me cry these days.
“Hey,” he says, gently taking a finger to wipe away the stray tears. “Reason for tears?”
This is something Simon has started asking me since we now see each other every day. And it’s smart. One time he came into the restaurant and I was crying, and he panicked because I was sitting down. It was really just the onions. Once I started crying after announcing that I got a text from Connor. He thought it was bad news, but it was just a super cute video of Lila and Nuggy. I’m all over the place, and he’s been nothing but wonderful. But asking for a reason is a safeguard for him to know how to navigate.
“Work was horrible today. The construction next door is loud as hell. My pregnancy brain led to multiple orders of burned bacon, and the cherry on top is that my mushroom guy just quit making deliveries.”
“I’m sorry. Anything I can do to help?”
“No. Thank you. I have it handled. I think. Well, I was going to handle it with the mushroom guy, so I came upstairs to change to drive out and see what the hell was up. That was my first mistake because I put on leggings.”
“Am I dumb to ask why that was a mistake?”
My shoulders slump. “Because they didn’t fit. Then I put on my trusty, go-to, ratty sweatpants. And they didn’t fit. Next thing I knew I tried on every piece of clothing I owned and nothing fit. Which is why I’m sitting here nearly naked and I don’t have maternity clothes. And I know my body is changing and this day was going to happen, but I didn’t know it would be today…”
“I’m sorry,” Simon says, brushing a loose strand of hair behind my ear. “Do you need to go shopping?”
“Yes? No. Probably. I don’t have the extra cash right now for new clothes.”
Simon narrows his eyes at me.
“Let’s not get into a money spat,” I say, knowing that this conversation has the possibility of turning into that. I’m getting better with accepting Simon paying for stuff—even after the stupid expensive crib—but I’m not completely comfortable yet. “It’s not just the pain in the ass of needing new clothes.”
“What is it?”
I take in a breath, wanting to think about how I phrase this next part. “You know how I feel, and have felt, about my body.”
He nods but doesn’t say anything.
“Over the past few years, I had finally come to terms with the fact that I’m a bigger woman. And I didn’t hate my body anymore. I didn’t love it, but I was comfortable. Mostly. Sometimes even confident. Never sex with lights on, as you know, but I was mostly okay.”
Simon’s eyes narrow even further. “Can you say what you need to say without talking about other men?”
His jealousy is funny to me. Even when I hated him, somewhere in the back of my mind I knew no other man compared. “Sorry.”
“Apology accepted.” He tops off the apology with a kiss on my forehead, which eases me in a way I don’t know he realizes.
“Anyway…I was finally at a place in my life when I was okay with my body. And it was good. I felt pretty good. And being with you has…well I’ve never felt better. Then today…and I know it’s because of the baby…it’s just…with one ill-fitting pair of pants and my boobs popping out of my bra…I feel like all that mental work I did is gone.”
“Well, I’d like to first say, I’m not mad one bit about the boobs.”
I shake my head with a laugh. “Of course you aren’t.”
“Second of all, you need to know that I think you are fucking beautiful. And you are only getting more beautiful every day.”
“And you have to say that.”
“Charlene Marie Bennett,” Simon turns me a little so I’m looking right into his crystal blue eyes. “After all these years, do you still not believe how fucking gorgeous you are?”
I shrug. “You know I’ve never seen me the way you do. Even at my best…”
Simon stands up and holds his hand out for me.
“What are you doing?”
“If you don’t want to believe how beautiful I think you are, I have no other option but to show you.”
I give him my hand as a devious, and sexy, smiles cross over his handsome face. He pulls me from the bed, positioning me in front of him—and turning us to face my full-length mirror.
I immediately avert my eyes from the mirror. This is maybe the most uncomfortable thing ever. I might be more confident in my body, but that doesn’t mean I like looking at it. Especially today.
But Simon doesn’t let me. His one hand holds me around my soft stomach as his other lifts my chin up, making me look at our reflections.
“Look at me.”
I reluctantly do as he says.
“Now, I could ask you what you see, but I have a feeling you aren’t going to say the right answer. So I’m going to tell you what I see.”
Simon’s hand leaves my chin and slides down until he finds the front clasp of my bra. I can’t even be impressed by his one-handed unlatching. I’m too mesmerized by the fire in his eyes right now. I always described his eyes as nearly crystal blue. But now? It reminds me of the subtle blue that you see in a flame.
He’s on fire. For me.
“I don’t think it’s a lie that I’m pretty obsessed with these,” he says, massaging both of my breasts in his strong hands. The mixture of pressure and pleasure is intoxicating. “But now, knowing that soon they are going to give our child nourishment? Because you’re growing our baby? It’s a feeling I can’t describe.”
He pulls me in even closer, and I feel his cock hardening against me.
“And this?” His hands travel down to my stomach, placing them securely on the baby bump. “The fantasies I have about you and your body changing through every stage should be illegal.”
I stare as his hand continues traveling down, separating my legs slightly so he can slide a finger along my pussy.
“Do you know how fucking sexy it is when you’re wet and waiting for me? How beautiful you are, knowing this pussy is mine and only mine?”
I let my head tip back, reveling in the feeling of his fingers teasing my entrance. “Eyes on me, Bug. And don’t you dare look away.”
I do as he says, though I don’t know if I’m ready for the next part of his show.
His mouth starts kissing down my neck and across my shoulder as he steps in front of me. His mouth continues to leave a trail across my body, making sure to make a stop at my breasts as he sucks on each one of them, giving each ample attention.
He doesn’t stay there too long, continuing his journey down as he lowers himself to his knees.
“Simon?”
“Are you watching?”
“Yes…”
And I am. I couldn’t take my eyes off him if I wanted to. He separates my legs just enough so he has access to my pussy, licking it from back to front as I watch in awe.
He’s not relenting. My legs are about to give out, but he’s holding onto me with such steadfastness I know I won’t fall.
And then there’s his tongue, which is taking whatever it wants, however it wants. My hands are pulling at his hair so hard it might come out. Yet it only seems to make him go harder. Faster. Further.
“Simon…”
My moan is only answered with him inserting a finger, now working in tandem with his tongue. I let go of his hair with one of my hands, needing more touch. I take my nipple between my fingers, rolling it around to get that perfect twinge of pain to accompany Simon’s pleasure.
It’s at that moment I take my eyes off him and look at myself. I’m naked. Flushed. My breathing is heavy, and my legs are weak.
But for maybe the first time in my life I look past that. I see a sensual woman who is taking in every ounce of pleasure from a man who is making it his life’s mission to satisfy me. I see a woman who wants to watch in the mirror as she takes his cock and screams his name.
That woman is me. I’m her.
And for the first time in maybe my life, I finally see what Simon does.
“Fuck me, Simon.” I say through heavy breaths. “Fuck me now.”
With one more lick, Simon comes up and leads me to the bed.
“No,” I say as he lays me back.
“I thought…”
I shake my head, rising up so I can kiss him, loving the taste of myself on his lips. “I want to watch.”
His eyes go back to that fire blue as he yanks off his pants. While I’m waiting, I position myself on all fours on my bed so I’m facing the mirror. I watch intently as he comes behind me, stroking himself before he leans down, his stomach to my back as he gently kisses my shoulder.
“Do you know how fucking hot you are right now?”
I nod. “I do.”
He smiles. “Good girl.”
With one kiss to my back Simon lines himself up and thrusts into me, making me close my eyes just from the sheer impact of his thick cock filling me to the brim.
“Eyes on me, Charlie.” I do as he says, locking eyes with the man who owns every inch of me right now. “Now watch.”
And I do. I watch as he drives in and out of me, passion, lust, and desire fueling every minute. I watch as his hand comes from holding my hips to grabbing onto each of my dangling tits. He’s squeezing hard, but I’m savoring the feeling.
He pinches one of my nipples, and it nearly sends me over the edge. I don’t want it to be over, but considering I can feel his eyes just as deep as I can feel his cock, I don’t know how much longer I can hold out.
“I love you, Charlie,” he says, his eyes locked with mine. “I love you so fucking much.”
“I love you,” I repeat, and not just because we’re in the throes of passion. Or because he said it. Because I do. I love this man. I love him so fucking much it hurts.
“Bug…” he cries out as his hands go back to my hips and gives them a squeeze. The slap on my ass is an added bonus.
“Yes, Simon! Yes!”
With a few more thrusts I come apart, and he’s not far behind. Our gazes finally unlock as he collapses onto me, both of us coming down from an orgasm that I felt in every cell of my body.
Eventually he rolls off me, but only to bring me into his arms, holding me like I might run away.
Which I get. I used to be a flight risk. Hell, there’s receipts of me doing that exact thing.
But that was then. This is now.
There’s not a chance in hell I’m going anywhere.