Chapter 28
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
DECLAN
The streets of Sycamore Falls are unrecognizable from when I first arrived.
Holiday music drifts from hidden speakers, threading itself through the chatter of the crowd.
The scent of kettle corn and roasted chestnuts filters through, mingling with crisp, clean air.
Red and green coats, scarves, and knit hats blur into one living stream of color, the sidewalks packed tight with tourists and locals waiting for the annual Christmas parade.
It makes me think of Claire.
These days, everything does.
She’s spent every lunch break with me this past week. Not that we’ve been eating. At least, not food. It’s been the highlight of my day.
Maybe of the entire year.
It shouldn’t be. My sole purpose in staying was to form a relationship with my son.
Not sneak around behind his back and fuck his best friend.
But I can’t help myself.
The second she steps inside my townhouse, the world falls away. She’s not the woman my son once asked to marry. And I’m not the man she can never have.
It’s just her and me, and this intense connection I still can’t explain.
“Sorry it’s a bit of a walk.” Joshua’s voice yanks me back to the present. “It’s easier to park at Holley Ridge than try to find a spot downtown.”
I glance over the sea of people standing shoulder to shoulder along the curb. “I can see why. Quite the turnout.”
“Sycamore Falls loves Christmas. People put out their chairs the night before to save their spot.”
“They don’t get stolen?”
Joshua laughs. “This is a small town. It’s not like D.C.”
I huff a dry sound. “You’ve got that right.”
The city has always been my sanctuary. Its pace. Its convenience. Its anonymity. There, I’m just another face. Invisible. Forgettable.
That’s not the case here. People know who I am. They see me. They stop to talk to me. Are genuinely interested in how I’m liking my time here in town.
And it doesn’t feel as suffocating as I thought it would. The place has grown on me.
Or, more accurately, one woman in particular has grown on me.
“Did you watch the parade when you were little?” I ask.
“We did. I looked forward to it every year.” He peers into the distance, a nostalgic gleam crossing his expression.
“Afterward, Mom would take me to see Santa at the hardware store, and I’d tell him what I wanted for Christmas.
She always made sure I got it, too.” He beams, then his smile falters, shadows flickering across his features.
“I’m sorry. I always seem to bring her up. Don’t I?”
“Joshua…” I slow my steps so he meets my eyes. “It’s okay. Talk about her whenever you want. I didn’t know her that well. Or at all, really. I was young and made more bad decisions than good. But I don’t want you to feel like you can’t talk about her around me.”
He gives me a smile that looks so much like my own it jars me. “Thanks.”
We wind through the crowd until he veers down a narrow side alley.
“Where are we going?” I ask, confused. “I thought we were watching the parade.”
“We are,” he says over his shoulder, his mouth curving into a sly grin. “From a much better spot.”
I follow him toward a door in the back of a brick building, where he inputs a code and leads me up several flights of stairs before emerging onto a rooftop. But it’s not a normal rooftop.
It’s strung with white lights, warm against the picture-perfect blue sky.
Patio furniture and high-tops are scattered across the terrace, long tables with hors d’oeuvres placed along the walls.
A bar glows in the corner, golden light spilling over bottles of wine and beer.
The air is alive with laughter, clinking glasses, and the crisp scent of spiced apple and pine.
“Where are we?” I ask as I take in my surroundings.
“The Wicked Hop,” Joshua answers. “You remember Dylan, who lives next door to you?”
I nod.
“One of her older brothers, Jude, owns it. Every year, he invites close friends and family to watch the parade from up here. Food, drinks, best view in town. I hope this is okay,” he adds quickly. “If you’d rather watch from down below, we can. I just thought—”
“This is definitely better than being in the crowd,” I respond. “I don’t think I’d like the parade as much if I had to stand down there.”
“Me, neither.”
He takes me around, introducing me to faces and names that clearly mean something to him. Friends who’ve become family. People who anchor him here in a way I’ve never been anchored anywhere.
But all I can think of is Claire.
If she’ll be here, too.
After all, everyone Joshua has introduced me to has asked about her.
And her roommate, Dylan, is already here.
Maybe she’s working. If she planned on being here, wouldn’t she have come with Dylan? Wouldn’t Joshua have said something?
Or am I just overthinking it, as always?
I do my best to push down all thoughts of Claire as Joshua introduces me to Dylan’s older brother, Hayden, who seems to be about my age. But as I shake his hand, I feel that same prickle of awareness I do whenever Claire’s around.
I steal a glance toward the door, not surprised to see her making her way along the rooftop terrace, two women at her side.
One is pregnant, with the same smile I’ve seen soften Claire’s entire face. The other is older, silver-haired, with the same eyes that bewitched me from the moment I first saw them. I don’t have to ask to know they’re her sister and mother.
“There you are,” Joshua says upon noticing her.
But her eyes don’t go to him. They lock on mine.
“I thought I’d have to drag you away from the office myself.” He strides toward her and presses a kiss to her cheek.
Casual.
Effortless.
Natural.
I hate how easy it looks.
I hate how much I want to do the same.
“We took care of it for you,” the older woman says.
“Thanks, Ms. Thomas.” They briefly embrace, and it’s obvious Joshua feels comfortable around Claire’s family.
“I keep telling her there are more important things than work, but she won’t listen to me.”
“I’ll try to talk some sense into her.” Joshua winks at Claire’s mother, then looks back at me. “Ms. Thomas, I’d like to introduce you to my father, Declan Hart. Declan, this is Claire’s mother, Judy.”
“Nice to meet you.” I shake her hand, doing my best to look like the man I usually am. Controlled. Polite. Unaffected.
“And you remember Claire, of course,” Joshua says.
I shift my gaze back to Claire. “Of course,” I reply softly, extending my hand toward her, although I know I shouldn’t.
It doesn’t matter that our hands are covered in gloves. The second I feel her touch, warmth spreads through me. It reminds me of feeling her hands pull at my hair. Her nails digging into my back. Her skin slick with sweat as we both succumbed to our urges.
“It’s good to see you again, Declan,” she says, her voice careful. Measured.
“You, as well.”
“This is my sister, Genevieve,” Claire states, pulling her hand from mine. “You’re staying in her fiancé’s townhouse right now.”
“I’ve heard a lot about you,” Genevieve offers with a sly smile as we shake hands.
Claire gives her sister a gentle jab, making me think she’s heard more than she should have.
I notice her mother look between them, her brow furrowed in curiosity. Thankfully, the sound of a marching band playing “Jingle Bells” cuts through, and everyone’s attention shifts to the approaching parade.
“Shall we?” Joshua looks at Claire, who nods.
He places a hand on her back and steers her toward the railing.
I join them, watching as the parade winds down Main Street. But my focus isn’t really on the marching bands or the floats. Instead, I look at all the happy couples embracing in the cold, and an ache squeezes my chest.
I’ve spent most of my adult life living in cities. Walked by couples holding hands or embracing. It never bothered me before. Never caused this yearning deep inside of me.
That was before I met Claire. Now, I want nothing more than to pull her close. Wrap her in my arms. Press soft kisses to her hair.
But I can’t do that.
Because she’s the one person I can never have.
And I’m starting to think she’s ruined me for any other woman.