Chapter Eighteen
While Jake fixed them a drink in the kitchen, Savannah sat on the sofa, staring out the patio doors at the small, neat backyard. Her mind was still reeling from what he’d said. She was having difficulty processing it.
She should start thinking about where she wanted to be? That if she liked it here in his neighborhood, they could stay here? We? He’d actually said we. Because wherever she wanted to be was where he wanted to be. Wherever she lived would be where he lived?
That tingly ball of excitement was spinning in her chest. She wrapped her arms around herself and held on tight. It kind of felt too good to be true. But the thing was… she knew it was true. She just had to catch up and believe it. That was the hard part. But, boy, did she want to.
She startled when he came back in, and her heart sank when she saw the worried look on his face. He sat down beside her on the sofa and rested his hand on her shoulder. “Hey. I probably shouldn’t have said that, should I?”
A heavy ball of disappointment settled in her stomach, and she nodded slowly.
“Not if…”
He moved closer and curled his arm around her, hugging her to his side.
“I meant it.” He nodded vigorously. “I can’t figure out what’s going on here, Savvie.
You look kind of shell-shocked, and I feel bad that I went too fast, too soon.
But you sounded like you were about to say not if I didn’t mean it. And I do.”
His big brown eyes looked so earnest as they stared into hers.
He gave her a small smile. “Please be honest with me. Tell me what you think. I don’t want to rush us, but I can’t hide that that’s what I want.
I don’t want it to feel like pressure, though, either.
So… you’re going to have to help me out. ”
She rested her hand on his thigh and leaned in to press her lips to his. “I’m so sorry, Jake.”
When she saw that muscle start to tick in his jaw, she knew she should have chosen different words.
“Don’t look like that. I’m not saying I’m so sorry, I don’t want to…
I mean, I’m so sorry that I’m kind of… yeah, shell-shocked.
Of course it’s what I want. How could I not?
You’re the best guy I’ve ever known. You’re strong and sweet.
You’re so kind. And I don’t just mean to me — you’re kind to everyone.
And you’re…” She struggled to find the right words.
“I wish I knew how to explain it. You’re steady. ”
She shook her head lightly. “But that sounds boring, and I don’t mean it like that. You’re… reassuring, but it’s more than that. I think… I know I’m making a mess of this. But what I’m trying to say is… what you said about us living together? That’s what I want… more than anything in the world.”
She’d never seen him smile so big as he did when he asked, “You do?”
She nodded vigorously. “I do.”
His eyes seemed to twinkle when he asked, “So are you saying that there’s a future for us?”
That tingly ball of excitement in her chest seemed to explode like fireworks. “I’m saying I’d love that.”
“Well, if that’s what you want, that’s what will happen. I’ll make damn sure of it.”
She closed her eyes and leaned into him as he wrapped both arms around her and hugged her tight. After a few moments, she leaned back to look up into his eyes.
“You know, I never want to be a burden…”
“You’re not—” He started to protest, but she put a finger to his lips.
“That wasn’t what I was saying. I… feel like I shouldn’t want to rely on you. Depend on you, turn to you. I’m not sure which. Probably all of them. But…” She let out a breath. “It’s kind of wonderful knowing that I can.”
“I’m glad. It feels good, Savvie, because it’s true. I want you to do all of that. I want you to know you can rely on me. That you can depend on me.” She knew what he meant when he held her gaze and added, “And I hope that you’ll always turn to me.”
“I want to be there for you. And not just in a selfish way that I want to look out for you — although I do. But more than that, it’s about us. I remember what it was like with Dad and my mom. It always felt like they turned away from each other.
“It’s so different seeing him now with Jo. They both do it. Not that they’ve had any big stuff to face that I know of. But even the little things — they turn to each other first.” He ran his hand over her hair.
“Yeah, it’s about being honest with each other. But it’s just as important that the person you love is the person you want to turn to first. About anything. Good or bad, big or small. You know?”
Her heart was racing, but the rest of her was still. She wanted to believe that she understood what he was saying, but…
He ran his hand over her hair again, cupped her chin, holding her there as he looked deeply into her eyes.
“Yeah, I said that,” he told her with a smile. “I’ve been trying to figure out when might be the right moment to tell you. And what might be the perfect words to say. But if I know anything about life, it’s that if you wait for the right moment… or to find the perfect words…”
“You end up waiting too long.” She gave him a small smile when she said it, but her heart was pounding.
He frowned slightly. “Not that I’ve ever told a girl I loved her before. I’ve never felt this way before, Savvie. That’s how I know. I also know that I only want to do this once.”
He leaned in and brushed his lips over hers. “I love you, Savannah. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. We make a good team. We already know that.”
She climbed onto his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck. “We do. I love being with you, Jake. I’ve been waiting and wondering, too. I told you not so long ago that I was falling for you. But I’ve known for a little while now that I’ve already fallen. I love you.”
He held her tight, crushing her to his chest as he kissed her, deep and slow.
She clung to him and kissed him back, hoping with all her heart that this was it — that they really would get to spend their lives together. She’d never told a guy she loved him before, either – and she never wanted to do it again. Not after Jake.
~ ~ ~
Jake felt like they sat there for hours. Savannah on his lap. Talking, kissing. Laughing. In his case — and he knew in Savannah’s, too, perhaps even more so — relaxing into this new space they’d stepped into.
He loved her. He’d known it for a while. He hadn’t been joking when he told Josh that for him, it might have been love at first sight. But he wasn’t the kind of guy to get swept up or carried away.
Did he wish they’d gotten here sooner? Absolutely.
But at the same time, he knew that it was not only more realistic but also probably better this way.
It wasn’t in his nature to rush things, and he could see that was what Savannah needed.
He smiled, and happiness buzzed in his chest. Not rushing was part of what Savannah loved about him.
All the time that had passed since the day they first met at the garage had given her the chance to see who he really was – to relax into being around him.
He pursed his lips. It had even given her the chance to move away from him. It wasn’t as though she’d come back because of him — but he liked to think he might have been part of the pull that drew her back here to Summer Lake.
He tightened his arms around her and pressed a kiss to her lips. “We should probably think about dinner.”
She gave him a puzzled look. “Are you hungry?”
“I could eat, but…” He checked his watch and had to laugh at himself. “Damn, it’s still early. I thought we’d been sitting here longer than this.”
She smiled through pursed lips. “Are you telling me that you’re bored?”
“Savvie,” he said in a stern voice, “you should know better than that. And if you don’t yet, you’ll learn with time. I’m never bored when I’m around you. It’s just that I get so caught up in it that it seems like hours must have gone by.”
She crossed her eyes at him and said, “Nice excuse, mister.” But he could tell by the way she smiled that his words meant a lot to her.
He poked her in the side and chuckled. “You know damn well they’re not just words. But since we have more afternoon left than I realized, what do you want to do with it?”
Her eyes widened, and his heart rate picked up.
If she said she wanted to go upstairs, there was no way he’d say no.
He’d intended to wait till tonight before they went anywhere near that conversation.
He wanted her to be sure. Even now — just because he’d finally told her that he loved her and she’d made him the happiest guy in the world by telling him she felt the same — that didn’t mean there was any hurry.
“Do you want to walk on the beach again?” she asked.
“Yeah, I’d love to. You haven’t seen the beach at the end of the street here yet, have you?”
He was a little disappointed that her mind hadn’t gone to the same place his had. Of course he wanted to take as much time as she needed, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t eager.
He came back to the moment when she said, “Not with you.”
It took him a moment to figure out that she was talking about the beach.
“Right. Of course. You used to come over here as a kid, didn’t you?”
He relaxed when she nodded happily and said, “And we used to hang out on that beach sometimes. It’s probably my favorite one. There never used to be anyone down there, but I don’t know if that will have changed now.”
“I’ve never seen anyone down there. I don’t go all that often, but it’s good to walk by the water. And the way it’s in its own little cove — you can see a long way across the lake, but you can’t see any houses or anything.”
She grinned at him. “I know. That’s what I used to love about it.”
He tapped her temple, then tapped his own. “See, we’re on the same wavelength. What do you say? Do you want to walk down there now and then come back past Giuseppe’s? We can eat there if you want, or get takeout if you’d rather come back here.”