Chapter 25 #2
“Tell me what to do,” I say quietly, my eyes on the road. “Tell me what you need. You’re scaring the shit out of me, Blair.”
“I’m okay.” her voice is breathy and small, and the lie is evident.
My hands grip the steering wheel harder.
“We shouldn’t have told you,” I murmur once we’re at a stoplight. “We should have just handled this without you knowing and told you later. I’m sorry.”
She whips her head to me, looking as if I’d slapped her.
“Don’t ever apologize to me for something like that,” she says, her face stricken. “You shouldn’t have to hide things like that from me.”
I nod. “I want to see you happy,” I mutter, like an idiot. I can’t find a better way to express how I feel about her, or how the last thing I want is to make her panic. “We shouldn’t scare you for no reason.”
“I…” she sighs and turns away from me, leaning against the window and staring out at the rain.
She never finishes her sentence, and we drive the rest of the way to her apartment in silence.
I walk Blair to her unit, pausing at her front door.
“I don’t want you to be alone right now,” I tell her while she unlocks the door.
“I want to be alone.”
She won’t look at me.
“You shouldn’t be,” I say, my voice low. “At least let me tuck you into your nest. I can stay until you fall asleep, then call a ride.”
No response. Her attention is solely focused on unlocking the door.
“Blair,” I growl, and she drops her keys while trying to put one into the lock. “Talk to me. Tell me what I can do.”
After she grabs her keys off the ground, she successfully unlocks her door. “You can let me have time to myself,” she says quietly.
Finally, she looks at me again.
There’s nothing behind her eyes but a wall of ice.
It’s fucking terrifying.
I swallow and let out a breath.
“Thanks for getting me home,” she says. “We’ll talk tomorrow, okay?”
I want to shake her.
I’m not speaking to Blair.
I’m talking to someone that’s haunted by memories I can’t see and ghosts I can’t fight.
“Omega,” I whisper, a hint of command in my voice.
She freezes for a moment, her lips slightly parting.
But then, the icy gaze is back.
“Good night, Travis,” she whispers.
She gives me a sad smile and enters her apartment, shutting the door behind her.
I hear the click of the lock, and stare at the closed door, fighting the urge to bang my fists against it and demand she let me in.
I can smell her despair through the apartment walls, and she won’t let me help her.
Omega is suffering.
My scent match is in pain, and not only is it because of me, but I’m helpless to do anything about it.
I’m going to lose my mind.
Piper, who has watched the whole exchange in her car from the parking lot, flashes her lights at me after I’ve stared at the door for far too long.
“I can drive,” I tell her as I open the passenger door. Piper’s scent is all wrong. It’s too earthy and herbal, nothing like Blair’s.
It makes me miss her more.
“It’s fine,” she says. “You look as bad as she does. Maybe worse.”
“She wouldn’t talk to me,” I mutter in defeat.
“Yeah. Seeing the accident must have spooked her. She likes to process things alone, so I’m not surprised she kicked you to the curb,” Piper says lightly. “If I had tried to go in after her, she would have slammed the door in my face.”
I grimace, and Piper sighs.
“Dealing with an upset Blair is like bathing a cat,” she says, and I raise an eyebrow in response. “The more you try to grab her, the more she squirms away. She basically just got thrown into a bathtub with no warning.”
“And I’m the one that threw her into the bathtub.”
Piper shakes her head as we turn onto the freeway. “No. Life did. This was bound to happen sooner or later. I’m just grateful you three are okay. That accident looked horrible.”
“It was. We got really fucking lucky today. The only difficult part will be handling insurance and the towing fee, but that’s Rowan’s problem, not mine.”
That’s not true.
The difficult part, the worst part of all of this, is Blair’s reaction.
I’d rather have broken every bone in my body than see that haunted look on her face.
“She blames herself for our accident, doesn’t she?” I mutter.
I already knew the answer before I asked the question.
If she blames herself for what happened to her ex pack, of course she blames herself for what just happened to us.
“She has a tendency to do that,” Piper confirms. “I can try talking to her. It will just take her time to process, but it will be okay.”
I glance at Piper’s face. “You don’t believe that,” I counter. “Do you?”
Her lips thin. “I don’t know, Travis,” she sighs. “I want her happy, just like you do. But I can’t go into her brain and rewire everything for her. Not when she’s had these beliefs for so long.”
Fuck.
It’s insane for her to blame herself for everything that’s happened—but I know the feeling.
I know what it’s like to believe that the outcome would have been different if it wasn’t for me.
I should have told her that before she closed the door to her apartment tonight.
I should have opened up to her.
It might be too late.
We drive in silence until we reach my packhouse. Piper pulls into the driveway, then looks at me.
“Hey,” she says. “Blair is my best friend in the entire world. She pulled me out of some of the worst times in my life. She’s got that strength inside her for everyone but herself. Just…be patient with her, okay? You make her happy, happier than I’ve seen her in a long time.”
I nod. “I’ll wait however long it takes. I’m not going anywhere, and neither are Rowan and Ryland.”
“Good. Everything is going to be fine. I promise.”
Piper can’t promise that, but her words are still appreciated.
I’ll be damned if I ever give up on Blair.
She’s my scent match. The best fucking thing that’s ever happened to me.
And, should that day come, if the chance hasn’t been taken from me…
She’ll be my mate.