CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE - BIRDIE
“What the hell is going on in here?” Axel’s voice cuts through the chaos in my head and I freeze, my palm still pressed against Colt’s chest. But as his gaze swings between us, I flinch and snatch my hand away. “What did you say to her, Colt?”
“Nothing!” He splutters, sounding so guilty I almost cringe on his behalf. “She wasn’t feeling good, so I said Hog would help calm her down. Because of the scent mate thing…”
“It’s not true!” I hiss, backing away until I can feel the wall against my spine. “You’re wrong. I control how I feel. No one gets to use my body against me.”
Axel’s gaze is pinging between us, and he shakes his head in disgust at his packmate. “Jesus, Colt…”
“What? I didn’t say that he was gonna do that!”
“Well, look at her!” Axel nods in my direction, his scent thick with concern. “You must have implied it.”
“I didn’t, but why are we freaking out, anyway?” Colt takes a tentative step towards me. “A scent bond is a good thing, Birdie. In fact, it’s a fucking amazing thing…”
“Not to her!” Hog’s voice bellows from the doorway, making me jump. His face is bright red, and as his dominance crashes over me, his scent is like fire in my lungs. “I told you she doesn’t want any part of it!”
He told them. Which means they are aware of his tricks, and none of them can be trusted…
I glance at the window, but Axel’s voice cuts through the tension, low and commanding. “Get out. Both of you.”
Hog makes an angry sound. “I’m not leaving her like this...”
Colt groans, tucking his hands under his arms. “I didn’t mean to fuck up again, Birdie…”
“Let her breathe,” Axel says quietly, but his spine is rigid as he points towards the door. “Both of you. Go into the reception area and let me handle this.”
“You go, too,” I tell him, pushing myself into the furthest corner. “I don’t want to talk to any of you.”
Axel waits for his packmates to leave, then pulls out the stool and sits on it.
Surprisingly, he’s not blocking either the door or the window, and he leans down, resting his elbows on his knees.
It makes him look smaller, less of a threat, even as his dominance still simmers in the air.
“Just give me two minutes, Birdie, and then I’ll leave. Is that okay?”
I give a reluctant nod and he holds my gaze.
“I’ve found out a couple of things about the True Pack Militia that I want to share with you.
” I shift uneasily, but he gives me a soft, sad smile.
“The militia leadership brainwashed some of the omegas in the compound into thinking they were bonded to their scent mates. It wasn’t true, Birdie.
Even if those assholes had the capacity to bond, that’s not how it works.
An alpha could never cause harm to their scent mate.
Period. Any pain would be transmitted through the scent bond and the blowback to the alpha would be excruciating. ”
I narrow my eyes at him. No alpha has ever claimed anything like that. According to my stepfather, his designation is practically indestructible, which is why alphas are born to lead, and omegas were made to submit. “Why would the omegas at the compound lie?”
“Cooper says they were conditioned to believe it. The alphas in charge used coercive control, scent manipulation, and dominance threats - the entire abuser’s handbook. They couldn’t resist because they believed it was all true.”
“Who?”
It takes him a moment to realize what I’m asking. “Oh, Ryan Cooper. He’s a buddy of mine. He was part of the rescue team…”
I bristle. “You mean the raid team.”
“Yes.” His eyes flash, bright with sympathy. “But they saved every omega they could, Birdie.”
“But some didn’t make it.”
“Most got out and are in recovery. But you’re right; some of the omegas haven’t dealt very well with the truth. It’s easier to believe they were scent mates than to accept what was done to them by people who should have protected them.”
“Maybe it was true,” I counter, rubbing my hands over my arms. My skin is crawling, and I have to resist the urge to scratch my nails under the sleeves of my sweater. “Maybe some alphas do abuse their scent matches.”
“Scent mates,” he corrects me. “A match is just compatibility. Scent and hormones. You can be compatible with a lot of omegas, but there’s only one mate.
I know you don’t want to hear this, Birdie, but scent mates are very rare, and very, very special.
They’re what every alpha dreams of, and what every alpha would die to protect. ”
“It can’t be me. I barely have any scent.” I press trembling fingers to the bandage on my throat. An omega’s scent exudes from their skin, but it’s concentrated at their scent gland, and mine hasn’t worked properly for a long time. “If I smell like anything, it’s antiseptic and pain.”
The description makes him flinch. “Fuck, Birdie. I hate that you think that.”
“It’s the truth.”
“Not to us. And you have no idea how hard it’s been to stay away when you need comforting.” He nods in the direction of my bandage. “But under that, as your suppressants fade, you smell like salted caramel and vanilla. It’s a beautiful perfume, Birdie.”
I can barely swallow around the compliment. My throat aches, but not for the physical pain it’s endured. “My mom… my mom smelled like vanilla. Vanilla and lavender.”
“Charlie never told me that.”
I snap my mouth shut, because reality is like a slap to the face.
Sharing is dangerous, and talk is never cheap.
Fuck, have I forgotten every single one of my survival skills?
“You should tell Hog he’s wasting his time,” I say abruptly, and Axel frowns.
“Even if there’s some truth in what you’re saying, it’s not something I can accept.
” My lips give a bitter twist. “Maybe I’m more like those delusional omegas than you realize. ”
He sighs and sits up straighter. “The difference is that you can’t hide from this in the long term.
Your scent is getting stronger, and eventually you’ll go into heat.
” I shake my head, but he leans forward, pinning me with the intensity of his gaze.
“You’ll need Hog, Birdie. In fact, you’ll want him so bad, you won’t let anything stand between you. ”
I shudder, and I wish it was just in denial, but there’s a warm feeling in my belly, and I have to cross my arms to conceal how flustered I feel. “I’m tougher than I look.”
“I believe it. But you don’t fully understand the scent bond yet. There’s nothing like it in this world.”
Another reality check, and that warm feeling cools. “You’re talking about Charlie.”
“Yeah. Your brother was as rare and special as you are, Birdie. And maybe once you get to know us better, you’ll trust us to do right by you, too.”
I don’t point out that the mate he’s so protective of is now dead, because I’m not that much of a bitch. And even my suspicious nature can smell the sincerity in this pack alpha.
Too sincere.
He wants Hog to have his happily-ever-after, but I’m not ready to believe in fairytales yet. Until I’m not backed into a corner with Reeves one phone call away, I’m safest on my own.
Axel must sense me pulling away, because he rubs his face, his eyes stark with regret when they meet mine.
“All that aside, I wanted to tell you that I’m not just sorry, I’m ashamed.
I let my emotions cloud my instincts, which were telling me you were an omega in need.
Instead of helping, I locked you away and ignored your pain.
” He pauses, his shoulders slumping. “If I’m really honest, I didn’t want to look.
I didn’t want to recognize any kind of connection between us, because it was like digging at a wound.
But you deserved so much more, both as Charlie’s sister, and because you came to my pack for help.
So let me make it clear - I see you now, Birdie. And I promise I won't look away again.”
Just what I need. Gung Ho in hyper-attentive mode. So why do I have a warm feeling in my belly as he squeezes my hand and leaves the room?
I empty my mind of everything but the facts.
I’m not Charlie’s sister, and the Lawson Pack are just some guys I was dumped on so Reeves could score points with the general.
They’re a diversion on my escape route and nothing more.
I can accept that maybe there’s a difference between scent matches and scent mates, but either way, biology trumps autonomy.
I can’t risk my freedom when I’m finally so close to escaping Reeves forever.
Self-preservation has ruled my life for so long, I move around the room like it’s muscle memory.
But as I start to go through my limited supplies, my chest is tight again and there’s a sour taste in the back of my mouth.
I’m honest enough to admit that there’s a lot about the Lawson Pack that appeals to my omega instincts, and it’s tempting to wrap their promises around me like a warm sweater.
But what happens when the truth catches up with me and I’m left alone and defenseless again?
I shake the tingling out of my fingers and get back to work on assembling my limited supplies.
No cash, food, or weapons, since the pillowcase and Hog’s knife are lost somewhere on the mountain.
I’m also out of suppressants, which means I’ll have to find a supplier with less scruples than Carla.
On the positive side, I have fresh clothes, a couple of bottles of water, and most of my wounds and bruises are on the mend.
The best news of all is that with the speech inhibitor removed, Reeves no longer has a hold over me.
If I’m smart about what I do next, he will never get his hands on me again.