Chapter 14
FOURTEEN
HARLOW
The wedding was over a week ago, and I’ve spent the whole time avoiding Sterling, which isn’t as hard as it may seem given Adaga Hall is an enormous mansion with too many rooms to count.
When I imagined what Adaga Hall would look like, I had anticipated a grand brick building with ivy growing around the windows, wooden panelling, tapestry hanging from the walls, and a kind of ambience that speaks of fine brandy and cigars.
Instead Robert’s home, whilst beautifully styled, is a modern building with huge glass windows, and nothing like what the name suggests. It has crisp modern furniture, white walls and marble floors throughout. There’s also an indoor gym, outdoor pool, hot tub and sauna. On the first floor is a movie theatre situated next to a huge library which is the only space that seems to have a little character. The ground floor houses a parlour with a baby grand piano that I hope to be able to play at some point, as well as a huge kitchen, Robert’s study, three separate living rooms, a massive dining room, and a den. Outside there are hundreds of acres of grounds housing a paddock and stable that is yet to be filled with the horse Robert promised my mother, a huge garage filled with expensive cars and even a helicopter pad. It reeks of wealth, and is stunning, but sadly lacks character.
The staff that work for Robert are seen but not heard, moving around like ghosts, barely making eye contact with me, let alone conversation, and honestly, I feel like a trespasser even though Robert tried his best to make me feel welcome, providing me with a substantial suite in the north wing of the house that is far too grand for my needs. This evening is the first time I’ve left my suite for an extended period of time, choosing instead to avoid any kind of interaction with Sterling. After Ben interrupted our conversation on the dance floor the night of the wedding, I haven’t seen him. He wasn’t around to say goodbye to our parents when they left for their honeymoon the day after the wedding, and despite what he’d said to me after Dalton found us alone together in his office, he hasn’t even tried to seek me out.
It’s probably for the best anyway.
Not probably, it is for the best.
My fingers curl around a mug of coffee as I stand in the kitchen, staring out the french doors that open out onto the huge heated swimming pool. It’s early evening, and the sun has already dipped behind the horizon, but as the pool is lit up with underwater lighting, I can still see the steam lifting off the surface of the water, enticing me to enter, which is exactly what I’m going to do as soon as I’ve finished my drink.
For the past week I’ve spent a lot of time pacing back and forth in my room going over everything that’s happened, and it’s left me feeling anxious and wound-up, so I figured I’d make use of the pool to try and alleviate the mounting stress.
To make matters infinitely worse, I’m still getting creepy messages, and every day they’re more and more sexual. The last one I received this morning had me chucking my phone across the room. I can’t even think about it without feeling violated.
I bet your pussy is as silky as your voice. Are you dripping for me? Will you scream when I force my dick inside of you? Will you enjoy it?
It was the use of the word ‘force’ that had my hackles rising even more. Whoever this arsehole is, he’s doing a good job at getting into my head. I know I should tell someone, but there’s a part of me that thinks I’m overreacting. It’s not as if he knows who I really am. This is just some guy getting a kick out of sending me dirty, threatening messages, right?
But then again, what if he is dangerous? What if he somehow finds out who I really am and makes an attempt of following through on his threats…?
“What a creep,” I mutter, taking a sip of my coffee as I push those thoughts aside and wonder what the hell I’m going to do about Sterling and this situation we’ve found ourselves in.
“Is there anything you need, Miss?”
I let out a yelp of surprise as a middle-aged woman enters the kitchen holding a tray loaded with dirty plates. She’s dressed in the same uniform as the rest of the staff, a dark blue pinafore dress with the Blade family crest embroidered onto the sleeve.
“You startled me,” I say, my hand flying to my chest as I turn to face her. I don’t know her name, but as far as I’ve gathered she’s the head housekeeper and has worked for the Blade family for over twenty years.
“Apologies,” she replies, giving me a soft smile as she places the tray on the counter beside the sink. “I was just about to put supper together for Sterling, are you hungry too? Can I get you anything?”
“He’s home?” I ask.
I mean, I was pretty certain he hadn’t gone anywhere, but admittedly there was a small part of me that had convinced myself he’d returned to New York, hoping that would explain his absence and not the fact that he has been avoiding me as much as I’ve been avoiding him.
“He is, yes,” she replies, frowning a little at my question.
“I’ve just not seen him around, that’s all,” I mumble, my cheeks heating.
She nods. “He prefers his own company.”
“Oh, okay…” My voice trails off as I absorb that information. He’d told me he was a hermit the night we met, so I guess it shouldn’t come as a huge surprise.
“So would you like something to eat?”
“Actually, I was going to take a swim,” I explain, plucking at the strap of my one-piece bathing suit that I’m wearing beneath my joggers and hoodie.
“I can prepare something for you when you’ve finished,” she offers.
“Are you sure? I was just going to make a sandwich anyway. I don’t want to trouble you,” I reply, finding this whole conversation uncomfortable, not because she’s done anything wrong, but because I’m not used to having people catering to my every need. I’ve felt guilty every time one of the staff has brought food to my room.
“It’s no trouble. Would you like anything in particular?”
“Chicken with salad?” I offer.
“Of course. Shall I bring it out to you so you can eat it after your swim?” she questions.
I shake my head. “If you don’t mind just leaving it on a plate, and I’ll eat it here when I’m done. Thank you… Erm, sorry, I don’t know your name?”
“It’s Stephanie, Miss,” she replies with a soft smile.
“Thank you, Stephanie, and please call me Harlow.”
Half an hour later, I’ve swum enough laps of the pool to take the edge off my anxiety and am
lying on my back staring up at the sky, my hearing muffled by the water as I enjoy the cool winter air blowing across my cheeks. Steam rises upwards as I marvel at the smattering of stars glistening above me.
Even though I feel wholly out of place here, I know my mother will enjoy her life here, but me? I’d be happy with a small stone cottage, a log burning fire, and a cosy living space just big enough to house an upright piano. It’s a dream I can’t ever see coming true. Heaving out a breath, I flip over on my stomach and swim to the edge of the pool. As I swipe the water out of my eyes I hear the sound of splashing behind me, and turn around to catch Sterling breaking the surface.
Oh God .
I should get out of the pool. I should return to my suite and avoid all contact, but I can’t seem to move, my gaze is drawn to his strong arms and shoulders as he cuts through the water with powerful strokes towards me. His muscles tense and release as he swims, and my body reacts instantly, heat blooming beneath my skin as I watch him swim. I can’t help but squeeze my thighs together to try and alleviate the throb between my legs that his presence immediately conjures.
I really, really should leave.
Deciding that the best course of action is to do exactly that, I reach for the edge of the pool and attempt to lift myself upwards, but I don’t get very far. One second my stomach is pressed against the hard stone edge, the next, two warm hands are curled around my hips tugging me back gently.
“Don’t leave,” Sterling begs, his voice strained as I slide down his chest and he wraps his arm around my waist, pressing me against the tiled wall. His broad chest is firm against my back, and I can feel the beat of his heart echo inside my own chest.
“Sterling, this isn’t a good idea,” I warn, my whole body stiffening from his touch, not because I don’t want him this close to me, but because I do . “Let me go.”
“I don’t fucking want to, Harlow,” he replies, his breath sliding over my skin as he drops his forehead to my shoulder. “I’ve tried to give you space. I’ve fucking tried.”
I’m not sure that makes me feel any better.
My pulse spikes at his close proximity, at the way he grips the side of the pool with one hand and presses me against the tiles, effectively trapping me. I should force him away. I should tell him to back off. But again, just like in Dalton’s office, I do neither of those things.
“Someone will see,” I say, more than a little breathlessly to be honest.
“I’ve given the staff a night off. We’re the only ones here, Harlow,” he counters, easing back just enough so that I can turn in his arms.
“Which is another reason why this is dangerous,” I add, forcing myself to meet his gaze as the water laps gently around us both.
His eyes shine brightly, the silver striations within them sparkling under the pool light. Water droplets trickle from his hairline, snaking their way down the sharp cut of his cheekbones.
He’s so beautiful.
“Look at you,” he murmurs, reaching up to push a strand of wet hair off my face.
“Sterling…” My voice trails off as he presses his body against mine.
“When I told you this wasn’t over, Harlow, I meant it.”
“But I did,” I lie, forcing strength into my voice.
“You don’t mean that. I know you don’t.”
“Please don’t do this. I can’t–”
I don’t get to finish my sentence because he slams his mouth against mine, kissing me roughly. And for just the briefest of moments I allow myself to receive his kiss, to absorb what it feels like to have his body pressed so tightly against mine, his cock hard against my stomach.
But despite how good it feels, common sense prevails and I find the strength to push him away.
“No,” I say firmly.
“No?” he questions, looking at me with a mixture of shock, disappointment, and worse, pain .
“Harlow–” he adds, bridging the gap between us, crowding me once more.
“I said no, and I meant it, Sterling. I don’t want this,” I cut him off, forcing strength into my voice as I meet his gaze, hoping to God he doesn’t see the truth in my eyes.
“I don’t believe you,” he persists, and I have to force myself to remain strong in my convictions, because if I let him get under my skin one more time, I’m lost.
“I love my mother. I like your father. I don’t want to ruin their relationship or mine with them for that matter, by pursuing something with you. I won’t be that person, Sterling.”
“But you’ll keep letting your mother ruin your happiness?” he counters, shaking his head in disbelief.
“She’s my mom, Sterling,” I protest, knowing full well that if the shoe were on the other foot my mother would have no issue being selfish and hurting me. But I’m not like her, I can’t be responsible for her unhappiness. I’m still hopeful that one day we’ll get back to the relationship we had when I was a kid, because I miss that version of her so, so much.
Sterling shakes his head, lifting his palm to cup my cheek. “Yes, she is, and if she gave a shit about you she’d want your happiness.”
“How could she ever be comfortable with us being together? Regardless of her past behaviour towards me, this is still wrong.”
“So you’ll give up any chance of happiness to appease your mother? That’s no way to live, Harlow,” he persists, caressing my skin with the pad of his thumb.
“It’s my choice. This can’t happen,” I reply, fighting the urge to lean my face in his palm, and accept his affection.
“Don’t do this, Harlow. Don’t walk back into my life, give me hope, and then shatter it all in one fucking week.”
“Sterling, this is for the best,” I say, placing my hand over his and pushing it away.
“Harlow, don’t turn your back on me, on us.”
I swallow hard, forcing myself to be strong because one of us has to have the strength to end this before we hurt anyone else. It’s already too painful.
“We can be friends,” I offer, hoping he’ll forgive me one day for all of this.
He lets out a bitter laugh, his eyes glistening with determination as he rocks his hips against mine so that I can feel his arousal. “No, Harlow, we can’t just be friends.”
“Sterling, I’m so sorry for everything,” I whisper, hating myself.
“I’m not sorry,” he whispers roughly. “Not for meeting you, not for taking you back to my apartment that night, not for having sex with you, not for what happened in Dalton’s office last week, and not for the way I feel about you. I’m. Not. Sorry.”
“Stop it,” I beg, feeling my resolve begin to crack.
“The only thing I’m sorry for is leaving it a week before I came to talk to you. You’ve spent the whole time convincing yourself we can’t be together when I should’ve spent that time showing you that we can.”
“I–”
“Mr Blade?”
“Fuck, it’s Stephanie!”
Sterling exhales sharply, pushing away from me whilst I’m left reeling from his words. He gives me a look, one that says, this conversation isn’t over .
But it is. There’s nothing left to say.
Allowing my body to drop lower beneath the surface of the water, I tell myself that we were hidden by the wall of the pool, and the raised hot tub behind us. That doesn’t stop me from panicking though. Stephanie knew I was taking a swim, and she no doubt would’ve noticed I hadn’t eaten my sandwich she’d made. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out we’re in the pool together. The sheer fact we weren’t swimming when she stepped out of the kitchen tells her that we were at the very least talking, I just hope we were obscured enough that she didn’t notice how close we were whilst doing that.
“What is it, Stephanie?” Sterling asks, swimming towards the other end of the pool, drawing her attention away from me.
“I’ve left your supper in the den as you requested. I just wanted to let you know before I left.”
Sterling hauls himself out of the pool and reaches for his towel, snatching it up, the residual tension from our conversation making his movements jerky, harsh.
“That wasn’t necessary, but thank you,” he bites out.
“I didn’t mean to disturb you,” she replies apologetically, flicking her gaze my way, sensing something amiss. “I apologise for interrupting.”
“It’s no big deal, we were just taking a swim and catching up,” I reply, hoping she buys it as I plaster on a shaky smile.
Sterling nods his head in agreement, barely glancing my way as he wraps the towel around his waist, slides his feet into his shoes, and follows Stephanie inside. I hear her apologising softly again, and Sterling muttering something in response before the sound of the kitchen doors click shut, and a strangled sob releases from my lips.
“Oh God,” I cry, slamming my palm over my mouth as I realise how close we were to getting caught, and how close I was to giving in once again.