Chapter 38
Chapter thirty-eight
Yosh
Iwake to a soft sound. My vision is still blurred, but I recognise Laurent standing by my bed. He sets a glass of ice water on the nightstand.
“How do you feel?”
“I’m okay…”
It’s something I offer to keep things looking fine. It isn’t. I’m barely able to get out of bed in their guest room.
My body has decided we’re back there. PTSD crash. Full force. I haven’t felt this bad in years.
Laurent stays quiet, his gaze lingering, taking inventory. It makes my skin prickle.
“Sorry about this,” I say, clearing the roughness from my throat.
Laurent sits on the edge of the bed for a moment, then stands again. He doesn’t know what to do or say.
I hate myself.
“Yosh, come on. You’re family.” He exhales. “And I’m really sorry. We should’ve kept our place safer. I’m already fixing security.”
The guilt in his voice lands heavy. I squeeze my eyes shut. It doesn’t help. SeaBreeze flashes back, and everything after it, looping endlessly.
Ugh. Their kindness feels awkward. I know he and Erin mean well, but their concern, their pity, I can’t stand it.
Still, being alone would be worse. Erin is the right person to help me.
I should be grateful. I hate that I should be grateful.
“I’ve got to head to SeaBreeze,” Laurent says. “Erin will be here in about an hour. Try to get some sleep, alright?”
“Yeah.” I swallow. “Thanks, Laurent.”
He rests a hand on my shoulder before leaving the room. The front door slams shut a little later. I turn onto my side and close my eyes. Maybe sleep will help, or maybe the jasper and obsidian beside my pillow will.
Time blurs. Minutes pass. Or longer.
The front door opens again, and slams so hard the house shudders. My eyes snap open wide. The glass of water on my nightstand ripples.
Voices echo down the hallway. If that’s Erin, she’s not alone.
I hold my breath, listening to footsteps that don't belong here. Each step, each door opening and closing, sets my nerves on edge. They’re moving from room to room.
The door next to mine opens and closes.
My body goes rigid, eyes locked on the door.
Now it’s my turn.
It opens.
For a second, I’m sure I’m hallucinating.
“Tiffy?” My voice barely works. “You’re… here?”
“Yosh!” She’s at my side within seconds, eyes scanning me head to toe.
”Are you okay? Are you in pain? No. You don’t look okay. We need to get you to a hospital!”
I gather what little strength I have, pressing my hand over hers.
“No hospital, cupcake. I’m okay. Really.”
She doesn’t look convinced. Her hands tremble as she strokes my hair back.
A voice sounds from the doorway. “Don’t bother, Tiffy. That idiot would rather drive his car into a ditch than let anyone take him to a hospital.”
Sapphire.
He’s here.
I can’t meet his eyes, so I turn my face away. I hate how small I must look right now.
The last thing I wanted was for him to see me like this.
Tiffy talks, but it’s like I’ve hit the mute button. I focus on the sound of my own breathing, on the glass of water on the nightstand, on anything but the fact that Tom is standing there, seeing me at my lowest.
The floorboards creak as he walks in. Slow steps until he kneels.
I use my elbow to push myself up from the mattress. We’re on eye level now.
I hold my breath, wondering if he’ll say something. Wondering if I should.
He doesn’t give me the chance to overthink. One moment he’s in front of me, the next I’m in his arms. A hand slides up my spine, fingers tangling protectively through my hair.
I let my face rest against his skin that smells like the ocean, the sun, and himself.
Breathing gets easier here. So I stay tucked into the space between his neck and collarbone, where it’s safe and nothing hurts for a while.
“Everything will be okay. I’ve got you.” He kisses my temple as he whispers the words close to my ear.
“I…” My voice crashes. “I don’t know how to do this.”
I’m not even sure what I mean by that. Talking. Letting go. Stop pretending I’m fine. Maybe all of it.
“You don’t have to know. Just stay with me, okay? Whatever it is, we’ll get you through it.”
I nod, overwhelmed by all of it.
He knows. Tiffy must’ve told him. And if he knows, she knows. About me and Tom.
It’s not how I wanted it to happen. Still, it feels like a relief.
It hits me just how surreal this is. The two of them here, at Erin’s place.
“Did you guys break into the house?”
A soft scoff escapes Tom’s lips. “Seriously, love? If anyone’s got a talent for creative entry, it’s you.”
That makes me smile. Those words mean more than he probably realizes.
It’s the love that gets me first, but it’s also the way he says it, like I’m still me. Not someone broken or fragile. Just me. And God, I needed that.
I feel Tiffy’s hand on my shoulder.
“We met Laurent on the way. He passed us a spare key.”
Right. I hadn’t even thought of that.
“I’m sorry we didn’t respect your space. We needed to know if you were okay.”
I glance between them. My two favorite people came looking for me. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this loved.
“It’s okay. I’m glad you’re here.”
Tom smiles. “We could go back to your place. I can stay with you, if you want me there.”
I bite my lip, looking down for a second before meeting his eyes again.
“Yeah,” I say quietly. “I’d really like that.”
Tiffy claps her hands. “Good. The couch is all I could offer. Tom’s basically homeless right now.”
“You’re what?”
Tom shoots her a look, then turns back to me.
“I, uh, ran into a little complication in Palm Oasis.”
I narrow my eyes. “Please tell me Cal’s nose is still intact.”
“Cal’s fine. He saved my skinny ass today. Jay showed up to drag me back to Europe. Cal made sure that didn’t happen.”
My jaw drops. “Wow. Jay’s actually here? On the island?”
Tom nods.
“So, let me get this straight, you came looking for me because you’ve got nowhere else to go?”
He shoves my shoulder. “You know that’s bullshit. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”
Heat rushes to my face and I look down at where our fingers are laced together.
Tiffy watches us, eyes glinting.
“Oh, stop it. The two of you are so adorable.”
She makes a dramatic show of wiping away tears.
Tom snorts. “Adorable? That’s a first.”
It doesn’t stop him from pulling me into his arms again.
I look at the time. Erin should be back any minute. When she is, I’ll tell her I’m well enough to go home. I’m not there yet, but I’m ready to be somewhere that feels like mine again.
Late afternoon paints the sky a thousand shades of orange.
I fold the corner of my page and close the book, pressing it to my chest.
Color psychology. A different way of understanding why shades feel the way they do.
According to the chapter I’m on, orange is warmth. Vitality. Safety.
And I get it. Orange is the hibiscus in my garden. The last embers of the day on the horizon.
Then my brain does what it always does and makes it personal.
Amber. The color of Tom’s curls; a shade I’m craving in a way that feels stupidly specific. I can almost feel them threaded through my fingers as I kiss the spot between his brows.
I drop back into the hammock, one leg hanging over the edge, nudging myself into a slow sway. It keeps me moving without waking the rusted creek.
Tom steps outside with two cups of tea.
“You look dangerously hot like that. All relaxed and thinking.”
My lips twitch. I almost forgot his ability to shut me up with a single clever line.
“Figured an orange sky calls for tea.” He passes me the cup.
I meet his eyes and can’t help wondering if he sees it too. How aligned we are, without even trying.
I make room for him beside me. We settle next to each other, swaying softly, his legs resting comfortably over mine.
“Thanks, Sapphire.” I gently touch the bruises on his face, relieved to see they’re fading.
“How do you feel?” he asks.
“Better now I’m home, and you’re here beside me.” I take a sip, resting my face against his chest. His bare skin feels like warmth. Safety.
“Me too. I needed to know if you were okay. You made me worry so much, love.”
“Sorry. Didn’t mean to.”
He holds his breath for a second, he’s weighing his words.
“So… what happened at Arcadia after I made my spectacular exit?”
I sigh, giving a small shrug. “I don’t know. Got overwhelmed. The drugs were wearing off, the place was chaos. You. You and your cup-swap trick.”
I can feel him smirk.
“It was a lot. After the dogs searched my studio and I was all alone, I got overwhelmed and threw that heavy amethyst through the table.”
I’m not telling him what I really experienced at that moment. Overwhelmed will do for now.
“So calm. So fucking peaceful, Yosh. I don’t want to be around when you get mad at that big rose quartz you have.”
I jab my elbow into his side. “Oh my god, McKenna. You’re the worst.”
His grip on my arm tightens, holding me close against him. He smiles down at me.
“You know, I missed that.”
“What?”
“You calling me by my last name whenever I’m being a little shit. I missed the Sapphire thing too. Why do you call me that?”
My hand cups his face, guiding him to look at me. “Because of your eyes. Rare, sparkling, sapphires. They’re unreal.”
That earns me a kiss in my hair, where he always takes a moment to breathe me in.
“You scared me. I wanted to give you space, but I got worried when you didn’t show up for my hospital appointment. You wouldn’t have missed that unless something was really wrong.”
“I’m sorry,” I say, rubbing the heel of my palm over my face. “I’ve barely been awake these past few days. They all blurred together.”
Tom’s shoulders drop a little. “Hey, don’t worry. I’m just relieved you’re okay now.”
“And you?” I ask. “What did cardiology say?”
He taps two fingers at his chest. “Still no signs of damage. Healthy pulse.”
“I knew that. You have a lion’s heart.”
Stubborn. Wild. Unbreakable.
His eyes spark for a second, then go back to worry.