Chapter 23
23
My stomach turned over as I faced Joe again. Two months ago, he had broken my heart and now he was smiling at me like we were old friends reunited.
‘What are you doing in Paris?’
‘Exactly!’ Juliette cried, unable to stay silent any longer. ‘I said that when he walked in!’ She glared at Joe, who looked unruffled by her greeting.
‘You didn’t say you were coming to Paris,’ Ethan said to Joe, but then he glanced at me and I saw his eyes drop to his now empty hand. I felt bad for dropping it but it had felt too weird holding in front of my ex. I wondered if he had seen me kiss Ethan or not. I had no idea if I wanted him to have seen it. My mind was racing and my heart was thumping. He was the last person I had expected to see in Paris.
Am I having an out of body experience?
‘It was an impromptu decision. So I thought I’d pop in here in case Juliette knew where you were,’ Joe said with a casual shrug .
‘Why didn’t you just call Ethan to ask him?’ Juliette asked, putting her hands on her hips. It was a good question.
Joe fidgeted on the spot then, the first visible sign that he wasn’t completely comfortable. ‘I didn’t just come to see Ethan,’ he replied, his dark eyes locked on mine. ‘I want to talk to Tessa.’
I stared back in shock, frozen and unable to speak or react. I thought about how he had been trying to get hold of me and meet up with me. I hadn’t agreed to it so, what, he had come to Paris to force me to speak to him?
‘ Merde! ’ Juliette cried, making me jump. ‘You…’ she began, her hand in the air, then she slipped into a stream of French flung at Joe, who stood there nonplussed.
‘Juliette,’ Ethan said firmly. She glared at him. ‘Why don’t you show Joe to a booth and we’ll get us some drinks and come over? Tessa?’ Without looking at me, Ethan strode towards the bar.
‘Fine. You, come on,’ Juliette said, sighing, pointing with her finger for Joe to walk on ahead towards one of the red booths. Then she looked back at me and spoke more gently. ‘Tessa, you don’t need to do anything either of these men want you to, okay?’
I blinked and made myself move. I followed Ethan to the bar, seeing how tense his shoulders were as he got a tray and started to pour red wine into glasses on it. ‘Ethan?’ I said, tentatively.
Ethan took a quick swig of the wine then looked at me. ‘Did you tell Joe to come here?’ he asked, his tone harsher than I’d ever heard it.
‘What? No, of course not!’
‘Well, he asked you to meet him yesterday when he messaged you, and suddenly here he is!’
‘Why would you think I’d do that and not tell you?’ I asked, hurt that he thought I’d make plans with my ex like that after how we had been naked together last night .
Ethan must have seen the truth in my eyes because he slumped, leaning against the side of the bar. ‘I’m sorry, I’m just so shocked to see him. And we were having such a good time. What does Joe want to talk to you about?’
‘I have no idea.’ My eyes involuntarily looked over as Joe slid into a booth and Juliette marched away from him towards us. Joe caught me looking so I quickly turned back to Ethan. ‘Maybe he’s just here to apologise. Not that I will accept it.’
‘I’ve never known Joe to apologise for anything,’ Ethan replied darkly.
Juliette came up to us then. ‘He wants to eat here,’ she said, shaking her head. ‘I told him that depends whether my two good friends who are dating want him to or not,’ she said, looking pleased with herself.
‘You said we were dating?’ Ethan asked her.
‘Are you not?’ she flung back. ‘He should know he lost someone amazing!’
I was touched she felt that way about me. ‘What did he say?’ I asked her, wondering what I was hoping Joe’s reaction had been.
‘He said he would only stay if you two were okay with it.’ Juliette folded her arms across her chest. ‘Which I suppose was the right thing to say.’
‘Are you okay with it?’ Ethan asked me.
‘Why is it all up to me?’ I snapped back. I saw a flicker of hurt cross his face. ‘Sorry, this is just very weird. I have no idea what to say or do.’
‘You could tell him to leave,’ Juliette said hopefully.
‘Or you could hear him out,’ Ethan said.
I glanced back at Joe. I couldn’t help but feel a tiny bit flattered he was here. In Paris. He had come to see me. In another country. It was effort he hadn’t made when we were together. It was a grand gesture. And I wished I could pretend that didn’t make me feel a little bit better after how rejected I had felt when he had watched me leave our flat and not tried to persuade me to stay. He had chosen Rachel that night but if they were still happy together, why was he here? Curiosity made me think about sitting down with him because if they weren’t happy, I kind of wanted to know. ‘I suppose he has come a long way,’ I said. ‘Maybe I could just hear him out. But will you come too?’ I asked Ethan. I didn’t want to be alone with Joe. And Ethan’s presence was calming. It had been since he had made me that first cup of tea in our Airbnb.
‘If that’s what you want,’ Ethan said, picking up the drinks tray. ‘Let’s go then.’
‘I’ll go to the kitchen and order meals for you three. I hope you know what you’re doing, Tessa,’ Juliette said, leaving us with a look that told us she plainly thought we were crazy.
Ethan paused. ‘Are you really okay with Joe knowing we’re dating?’
‘I know we haven’t labelled it… but it’s fine with me. If it is with you.’ I thought then about what Carly had asked me on the phone – was I with Ethan to make Joe jealous? I knew I wasn’t, but Joe was here now and had found out about us. I couldn’t help but feel pleased that seeing someone else with me might make him realise that I could be good enough for someone. Even if I hadn’t been enough for him.
‘You want him to see what he’s missing?’ Ethan asked me.
I honestly wasn’t sure what to say, but Joe had lied to me for so long, I didn’t want to be anything like him – I never wanted to lie to Ethan. ‘Maybe just a little bit.’
Ethan let out a puff of air. ‘I guess I can’t blame you after what he did to you. And maybe I kind of want him to know that I can get a beautiful, smart woman too,’ Ethan confessed. He started to walk again with the drinks and I followed him, wondering if this was a terrible idea or not.
Both Ethan and I had admitted to one another that we did care about what Joe thought about us. I wasn’t sure if this meant Carly had been right that we were moving too quickly. Were we trying to prove something to Joe? And was that more important than how we felt about each other?
We reached the booth then and sat opposite Joe. Ethan handed around a glass of wine each. Joe took a sip of his then raised an eyebrow. ‘I didn’t think I’d see you two still together after you were so annoyed to find Tessa in your apartment, mate,’ he said casually to Ethan.
‘Juliette said she told you we are dating,’ Ethan replied. It was strange to hear those words. We hadn’t once discussed labelling what had been happening between us the past few days but now Joe was here, it had been labelled. It made me uneasy. Like Ethan only wanted to date me to show Joe that he could. Or that I was only going along with it to show Joe I was desirable even if he didn’t want me.
God, this is complicated. How the hell do I handle this?
‘Yeah, she said something like that,’ Joe said, turning to me. ‘Paris seems to suit you, Tessa. You look really well. That’s okay for me to say, isn’t it?’
‘I suppose so,’ I replied tightly.
‘I was even more surprised when you said you were staying on here, but now things make more sense.’ He eyed us as he sipped his wine again. ‘I couldn’t wait to talk to you back in London so I thought why not take a few days’ break in Paris and see why you are loving it here so much.’
‘You’re staying here?’ I repeated.
Joe smiled that dazzling Disney-prince smile of his. ‘We have a lot to talk about, baby.’