Chapter 22
22
I was startled by Juliette’s apartment doorbell ringing in the afternoon. I got up stiffly from the writing desk, rolling my neck, which ached after being in a hunched position over my laptop for the first time in months. Pulling open the door, I was surprised to see Ethan standing outside. ‘Oh, I lost track of time,’ I said, then I broke into a smile.
‘You seem happy about that?’ Ethan asked, looking amused.
‘Well, it’s been a long time since I’ve had a burst of writing like that. I managed to write three chapters, and time slipped away in the best way possible.’
‘That’s great. How do you feel writing again?’
‘Good, I think. I feel rusty from not writing for a while but I actually enjoyed it. It’s so fun taking my main character to Paris. I feel like I really set the scene well, being here myself. Shall we go out? I definitely need some fresh air.’
‘Let’s go.’
Ethan waited as I got my jacket and bag, then we left the apartment to walk to a row of homeware shops he thought I would like. ‘It’s great hearing you sound so enthusiastic about writing,’ Ethan said as we strolled side-by-side. He touched my hand and our fingers entwined easily. ‘I was reading more of your book that I bought on our course lunch break. You’re really talented, Tessa.’
My cheeks heated up from his praise. ‘That means a lot that you think that.’
‘Well, it’s true.’
‘Thank you. And when we’re back in London, I can’t wait to try the food at your restaurant. I know it will be delicious.’
Ethan gave me a cute smile. ‘I will make all your dishes personally.’ Ethan steered us towards a shop. ‘This is one of my favourites. It’s all made in France. Unique to this place. So you’ll be the only one who has a piece if you buy one.’
‘That sounds great. Very different to the high-street stores at home! Juliette’s guest room is so beautiful; I love how she’s styled it. I feel like it’s inspiring me. Right now, my Putney flat is basically a white box.’
Ethan held the shop door open for me and we walked in. ‘That’s how mine was when I moved in too. But I’d picked up a lot when I lived here for a year so once all my things were in there, it felt so much more like home.’
‘I suppose because I lived for six months with Joe, and I haven’t bought anything since I moved into my own flat, I’ve sort of lost what I like when it comes to home décor. His flat was so… plush. And he didn’t want anything changed or moved. I felt like I could never relax,’ I found myself saying as we looked at the vintage-style furniture.
‘Joe’s place never felt like home then?’ Ethan asked me quietly.
‘I was nervous to use his fancy TV, and the white carpet was terrifying when it came to doing my makeup. He gave me one drawer and one part of the walk-in wardrobe… I’m sorry,’ I said. ‘We keep ending up mentioning him.’
‘It’s hard not to,’ Ethan said quietly. ‘I hope we can find some things you like. You deserve your flat to feel like home.’
I paused by a writing desk that was very similar to the one I had been sat at all morning. I ran my hand over the ornate wood. ‘Wow.’
‘You wouldn’t have writer’s block if you were sat at that,’ Ethan said, watching my reaction.
‘It would fit perfectly by the window in the living room; I could look out at the river from it,’ I mused, picturing my flat back in London. It felt very far away right now but I wouldn’t be able to avoid going home forever. I glanced at the price. It wasn’t as bad as I had feared. ‘How would I get it home though?’
‘Let me sort that,’ Ethan said, walking over to talk to the shop owner in his fluent French. I watched him, touched he cared and wanted me to have this piece. It made me worry less about extending my trip here.
I pulled my phone out of my bag and sent a message to Carly.
Things feel weird between us, and I really don’t want that. I wrote three chapters this morning and now I’m shopping for things for my flat with Ethan. I know you’re worried but I’ll be okay. I am really enjoying being here.
Carly replied a couple of minutes later.
I’m sorry for what I said. I’m just trying to look out for you. I don’t want you to get hurt again. I’m glad you’re writing. I can’t wait to read it. Call me soon !
I smiled with relief.
I hope you’re looking after you and baby!
She messaged in return:
Don’t worry about us.
I did miss my friend and it was strange to not be with her when she had just found out she was pregnant. But I knew it wouldn’t be for long, and this felt like where I should be for now.
Ethan came back and said there was a way to ship the desk over, so I bought it along with a small ornate mirror and a gold clock for my mantelpiece.
At the next shop, I found a chess set that I knew would look great on one of the few pieces of furniture I had in my flat – a distressed oak coffee table. ‘I don’t have my own. I didn’t have anyone to play with when I moved to London,’ I said.
‘Are you telling me you’re actually rusty at playing chess?’ Ethan asked, tutting. ‘That makes me feel even worse at how easily you’ve beaten me so far.’
I grinned. ‘Maybe I should get this set then so we can keep practising in London?’ I avoided looking at him, suddenly worried that had been too presumptuous a question. I had no idea if he was thinking about us spending time together once we left Paris or not.
‘I think you should,’ Ethan said close to my ear.
I was able to look at him then; he was smiling. I felt my heart lift a little bit. He really was cute when he smiled at me like that. ‘It would look good with everything we’ve bought so far,’ I said, picking it up. I could picture us playing it together in Putney, and although I knew I was in danger of getting carried away again, the image was just too enticing for me not to buy the set.
We went to a few more shops and I got a couple more prints of Paris to match the one Ethan had bought me, thinking I’d get gold frames for them all once I was back in London. Ethan picked up a couple of vinyl records. It was a fun afternoon.
When we left the last shop in the row, the sun was setting. I turned to Ethan and spontaneously gave him a kiss on the lips.
‘What was that for?’ he asked, looking surprised.
‘Today. But also the last few days,’ I said, holding on to him as we stood on the quiet Paris street together. ‘I might not have been able to write anything of my next book if we hadn’t been here at the same time.’
‘I think Paris deserves more credit than me,’ Ethan replied. ‘I’m glad we are here together though.’ He leaned in and gave me a longer kiss, lingering on my lips, holding me close.
I had never been into PDA but if you couldn’t kiss a man you liked in public in Paris, then where could you?
We leaned back from one another, smiling happily.
‘I’m so glad you’re staying longer,’ Ethan said.
‘Me too. Honestly, I feel so different already to how I felt when I first got here. I feel like maybe I will be okay, you know?’
‘Of course you will,’ he replied. ‘I knew that as soon as we met. You’re stronger than you think you are. And that heart of yours won’t let you give up on love.’ His voice dropped on the word ‘love’.
‘I hope not,’ I said. ‘So, what now?’
‘Shall we wander over to Cinq? It’s not far from here. We can have a drink before we eat.’
‘Good idea.’ I was looking forward to going to Juliette’s restaurant again. I had had such a good time there before Ethan was not much more than my accidental roommate. Now, he was so much more.
‘This was really fun,’ I said as we approached Cinq. Ethan opened up the door to the restaurant for me and we walked through. I turned to him in the lobby area. ‘Thank you. My flat is going to look so much better with these new things in it; maybe it will start to finally feel like home.’
‘I hope it will,’ Ethan said, taking hold of my hand and entwining our fingers together. ‘You need a place to call home.’ He leaned in and brushed my lips with his. Smiling, we drew apart and turned to find Juliette only a few feet away with a man, both of them staring at us.
‘Bonjour…’ The greeting died on Ethan’s lips as we both noticed that Juliette was standing with someone we both knew. ‘What…?’
My eyes widened as Ethan spluttered in confusion. Juliette raised her eyebrows and looked furious but the man next to her was smiling like he was enjoying shocking the three of us.
And I thought he probably was.
Instinctively, I let go of Ethan’s hand as I looked at the man I hadn’t seen for two months. The man who had made me think love just didn’t exist. His best friend had started to make me think it did again but now my heart spluttered as the man turned to me.
‘Tessa, what an unexpected pleasure,’ Joe said.