Chapter 13
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Connor
I rub the last of whatever sleep I got after coming home from the police station from my face and roll out of bed.
After dealing with Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum last night, I made sure to call Martin to tell him I couldn’t come in today.
Checking my phone, I see he texted and he’s fine with my being out today.
At least that’s one good thing to happen to me lately.
Clinging to that and wishing today would be better than yesterday, I make my way downstairs to grab some breakfast. The house is quiet, thank God, so at least there’s that.
I don’t dare spend any time on my phone checking the news like I usually do each morning. I can’t bear reading about how I’m the only suspect and everyone around here is convinced I’m guilty.
What has my life become?
My peace is shattered when I hear Jamie walk in the front door. Not a minute later, she walks past me into the kitchen, mumbling something. I know I shouldn’t ask what she’s saying, but the words are out of my mouth before I know it.
“What are you saying?”
She throws me a nasty look and shakes her head. “Nothing. Nothing at all.”
As much as I don’t want to have this conversation, it’s either now or later, and to be honest, I’d like to get it over with. I stand up from the table and walk over to where she’s standing at the island in the kitchen, sure she wants to get this over with as much as I do.
“I didn’t kill him, Jamie. My God. He shot himself. You believe me, don’t you?”
My wife gives me a blank stare and then sighs. “You were the last one with him. That’s what they’re saying. The last person to see him alive.”
That’s all she says. Not that she believes I could never hurt anyone, much less kill a man. Not that she’s behind me when the rest of the world wants to lock me in prison and throw away the key.
No, all she can talk about is what everyone is saying.
“Because we were hiking! You can’t just believe in me, can you? Jesus, you’ve known me for over fifteen years,” I say in disbelief that my own wife isn’t standing by me on this.
She remains silent, so I say the words I never thought would leave my mouth. “You think I did it.”
“I think people are going to talk, Connor. They already are. The girls told me kids at school were saying you’re a murderer. The mothers at gymnastics acted like I was a criminal myself. They looked right at me with such disgust. Right through me. Like I was diseased.”
“So that’s it? You’re not worried about me? That I’m being framed for murder? You’re worried about the girls’ social standing at gymnastics?” I ask in utter disbelief.
What happened to our vows that said we’d love each other through better and worse? The first time we hit a rocky patch, she’s eager to throw it all away, and for what? People liking her and the girls being popular?
“You think this is about social standing? Do you know what it’s like to watch our daughters ask why everyone is talking about their father? Why people are saying he’s a killer? Jesus, Connor. You’re not the only one hurting here.”
I’m not sure I want the answer, but I need to ask. “And what did you say to them? What did you tell our daughters?”
Her voice cracking, she answers, “I lied. I said it’s a mistake. That you’d never hurt anyone. That everything was fine. But it’s not fine, Connor! The police came here to our house.”
“Because I was with him when he shot himself. How many times do I have to tell you? I couldn’t do that. You know me. I’m not a killer. It’s crazy!”
With each word, my voice grows louder until I’m almost screaming at her. Jesus, this is so frustrating! Jamie knows me. She knows I couldn’t kill Bryan. I barely knew the guy. What reason would I have for wanting him dead?
We stand there in the brand new kitchen she said she had to have, complete with top of the line stainless steel appliances better suited to a professional kitchen than a suburban one, and there’s only one question on my mind now. It’s the most important question I’ve ever asked her.
“Do you believe me when I say I didn’t kill him?”
My heart slams in my chest, and I swear that’s all I can hear as I stare at her and wait for her answer. Bryan’s death has turned my life into a nightmare, and it’s only getting worse by the minute.
Jamie frowns and answers, “I don’t know what to believe! You won’t even tell me what happened up there!”
“I’ve told you everything there is to tell.
Bryan and I were up on the hiking trail, and he grabbed my gun.
I assumed he knew what the hell he was doing, but he started waving it around.
I told him to stop so we could get going on our hike, but then the next thing I knew, the gun went off and he was on the ground.
That’s it. That’s all there is to tell.”
She looks like she’s about to cry when she says, “So you did take your gun. Why? What did you need a gun for? You were going for a damn walk, Connor!”
I shrug, wishing I never even had the idea to grab my gun before I left that day. “I don’t know. I can’t tell you why. I just did. But I swear I didn’t shoot him.”
“Then why are they saying you did it? Suicide and murder aren’t similar at all. I watch those crime shows on TV, so I know. The angle of the shot would be all wrong if they’re saying it’s murder when he really shot himself.”
I close my eyes to try to find some bit of patience. “I know. I’ve thought the same thing a million times. I told those idiot cops that, but they’ve already tried and convicted me for this.”
For the first time, Jamie looks relieved. “Well, then that’s it then. We just have to wait for the coroner to clear all of this up.”
If only it was that easy.
Shaking my head, I say, “He already determined it’s homicide. I don’t know what kind of person they have in that job, but if it’s anyone like those two morons Ramon and Raintree, I have to think this town needs a better person in that position.”
Jamie’s expression twists into one of horror. “He already said it’s not suicide? How? He’s the coroner, Connor! They know about these things. If he said it’s homicide…”
Her sentence trails off as if she can’t bring herself to say the words. I grab her hand, afraid if I don’t that she’ll leave. I have to know she’s on my side in all of this. I don’t know what I’m going to do is she abandons me.
“I went up there the other night and someone hit me on the back of the head. I was out for hours lying on the ground until the cops found me at one in the morning. I think someone is framing for this, Jamie. It’s the only thing that makes sense.”
She gives my hand a squeeze as she shakes her head. “What is going on, Connor? Who would follow you up on the hiking path and attack you like that?”
“I don’t know. The cops found me, and of course, they don’t believe a word I’m saying. Those two wouldn’t know a damn clue if it crawled up their asses.”
Jamie gently takes her hand away from mine and walks over to the sink. After splashing water on her face, she dries off with a dish towel and turns around to face me.
“Did you see anyone else that day? Anyone at all? It’s usually busy on the weekends up on those trails, isn’t it? One time Danielle and I went for a walk up there, and I swear it was like we were on a pilgrimage with all those people.”
God, I wish I could tell her what she wants to hear. I’d love for it to be true too.
“No, not a soul. It was strange. There are always people up there, but when Bryan and I got up to the clearing at the top of the first little hill, there wasn’t a soul around.
I don’t know where the hell everyone was.
He mentioned he thought they could be down on the golf course.
Then we talked about how that wasn’t possible since there wasn’t a reservation open for the next few weeks. ”
Waving her hands, she shakes her head wildly. “Forget all of that nonsense! It’s not helping. We need to focus on the difference between suicide and murder. That coroner is the one who will save you. Maybe he just needs some more time to look into it.”
“No! He already decided it wasn’t suicide. How the hell would I even be able to make him see he should take a second look?”
Sadly, she has no answer to that. Nobody does. That’s the problem. If the coroner had at least said Bryan’s manner of death was undetermined, that would make it possible for me to argue my case. He didn’t. He took one look at the damn body and decided it was homicide.
And now I’m public enemy number one.
Jamie’s silence is deafening. I always thought that if I ever ran into trouble with anything in life that she’d be by my side supporting me one hundred percent. What I see in her at this moment says that belief was wrong.
“The cops say I should hire a lawyer. If I have to, we’re going to have to cut back on some things around here.”
I watch as her reaction tells me everything I need to know. Her eyes get big, and she looks like she’s about to cry.
“Like what? We’re barely spending on anything now, Connor. What are you planning to cut out?”
Looking around where we stand, I say, “Well, we can get rid of those streaming channels. We can cut back on the landscaper to once a month, and we can handle the upkeep of the yard.”
“Once a month! Our yard is going to start looking like a jungle if we only have him come once a month,” she says in that voice of hers that’s nothing but pure whining.
“Then we’ll have to mow our lawn ourselves, Jamie. It’s not like it’s all hills and hard to do.”
She narrows her eyes in anger and asks, “And I assume you think I should do it since you work full-time?”
I’m in a fight for my life, and she’s only concerned with how much effort she’ll have to put into the goddamned lawn! How did I ever think she would stand by me when times got tough?
“I assume you’re going to do your part, Jamie. And if the lawyer costs as much as I think he will, then the girls are going to have to stop their gymnastics lessons. At least until everything is cleared.”