Chapter 16
“Remember, just like your body, the more you train your mind, the stronger it will be.”
I peek open my eyes to survey the room full of athletes. Ten massive men sit in front of me on their meditation cushions, eyes closed, focused on their breathing. This is the second of three sessions I have this afternoon as the Bobcats prepare for their first playoff game later today.
Unfortunately, the Bobcats didn’t end up clinching their division like they had hoped. They still finished in second place though, so they were able to snag home-ice advantage for the first round.
A lot of the guys on the team were frustrated that they didn’t finish in first place and having to play against a tougher team because of it in the first round of playoffs. Hence my meditation sessions today. I’m trying to get these overly competitive brutes focused and ready to play tonight.
As we work through our meditation session, it’s time to focus on the emotions and thoughts they may be feeling ahead of their game.
“You may notice that you’re becoming aware of a variety of emotions and thoughts that enter and leave your mind.
Thoughts about the last time you played against Columbus, a mistake you made, your wildcard position in the playoffs, or whatever else is happening in your life right now.
Simply notice them as if they are cars moving through downtown, in which you’re the observer on the side of the road.
Simply allow them to pass and again, focus on your breathing. ”
The calming rain sounds are all that can be heard as I glance around the room. I’m pretty impressed at the focus of this group. The majority of the players here are veterans. My eyes move from one player to the next, stopping on the empty cushion near the back corner.
I should really take a page out of my own book and let the thought pass by, but I can’t help but wonder where Niko is. He was supposed to attend this meditation session and he’s the only one who’s missed so far today.
Ever since I went to his house for ice cream two weeks ago, things have been different between us.
He’ll stop by my office most days, and I’m beginning to think he’s making up excuses to spend time with me.
I normally wouldn’t assume such things, but yesterday when he came in asking, “Is there an essential oil to change my daughter’s taste in music?
” I figured it out pretty quickly he just wanted to come to see me.
I can’t say it doesn’t make me smile every single time, because it does. I smile like a fool anytime that man is within five feet of me.
Which is why I’m currently wearing a frown, knowing he should be here, but isn’t. I hope everything is okay with him and Sophia.
My body itches to stand and retrieve my phone from my bag, but I do what I was hired to do and focus on the task at hand and finish this meditation session.
“You guys must remember that we are not our thoughts. The more weight and attention we give to particular thoughts, the heavier they become. They will take us away from being present and focusing on what’s right in front of us.
And for you guys, that’s game one of the Stanley Cup Playoffs.
You have the ability to choose which thoughts you give attention to and which ones to let go of.
Be aware and accept your present circumstances.
The more you are able to do this, the better you will perform.
So, during the game, if something happens, simply focus on a breath whenever you get distracted.
It doesn’t matter how many times it happens, the point is to simply become aware when this occurs and guide yourself back to the present moment. You got this.”
The guys all come to thank me before they leave. Connor is the last one left, stacking the meditation cushions against the wall near my others. I make my way over to him just as he places the last one on top.
“Hey, Connor, any idea where Niko is? I thought he was coming to this session.”
Connor turns toward me, his face never showing any hint of emotion. This guy is one of the most serious, quiet dudes I’ve ever met but he’s an absolute force on the ice so I don’t question it for a second.
“He was planning on coming but something happened with his parents and he couldn’t leave Sophia. The childcare at the rink isn’t open yet.”
My hand finds my necklace, a nervous habit I’ve never been able to kick and worry bubbles to the surface, despite knowing he and Sophia are okay.
“Childcare is the last thing he should have to worry about on game day. Do you know when childcare opens? Will he be able to come to my third session?”
Connor smirks at me, and in total disbelief at the crack in his facade, I drop the charm of my necklace.
“You worried about Cap, Sadie?”
I put my hands on my hips in defiance before responding. “Am I worried about the captain of the team I’m supposed to be helping prepare for their first playoff game today? Yeah, Connor. It’s my job to worry.”
Connor puts his hands up in front of him and slowly backs up toward my door.
“Right, right. Of course it is. But to answer your question, I don’t think it’s open for another hour. So I don’t think he’ll make it to your next session either.”
Damn it. Of all the people on this team, Niko is one who has the most going on in his personal life. I know he’s been doing meditation at home, but this added stress today is the last thing he needs.
Before I can talk myself out of it, I’m rushing to my bag and pulling out my phone.
Hey Niko. I just talked to Connor. Sophia is more than welcome to join us at meditation. I think it would be good for you to come. I’d love to have my little assistant back for a session.
My foot taps as I stare at the three dots on my screen.
What feels like an eternity passes before my phone vibrates in my hand and his message finally comes through.
Niko
Are you sure? I don’t want to mess it up for any of the other guys.
This fucking man, always putting everyone else first. I understand he’s the captain and he carries the needs of his team on his shoulders, but as always, he’s not taking care of himself and expecting he’ll be able to lead the team anyway.
Instead of telling him everything I’m thinking, I send a simple reply.
I’m sure.
His response comes instantly this time.
Niko
On our way.
Sophia comes charging into my office ten minutes before my last meditation session is scheduled to start. She runs full force into my legs and her energy is contagious. Because of my lack of height, I’m able to give Sophia a decent hug as she stays latched onto my legs like a koala bear.
“Dang, girl. You almost knocked me over! You ready to help me out today?”
She finally releases her hold on me and stands at attention as if she’s a soldier. “Yes, ma’am!”
Niko’s low rumble of a laugh catches me off guard, and I look up to find him watching the adorable interaction happen from my doorway. My mouth immediately turns dry at the sight.
He leans against the doorjamb, and everything I’ve ever read in my books comes to life right before my eyes.
His arms are crossed, making his biceps bulge underneath the black dry fit T-shirt he’s wearing.
His feet are also crossed at the ankles, and I’m suddenly a fan of calf muscles.
Good lord, who knew they could be so sexy?
But what causes me to nearly choke trying to swallow are those damn eyes.
They burn into mine and send chills down my body all the way to my toes.
Everything around me starts to blur and all I can stay focused on are those baby blues.
I’m literally tugged back to reality by the little girl standing next to me. “Miss Sadie! Are you okay? I said your name a bazillion times.”
I look down at Sophia and then back up to her dad who finally takes a step inside my office. He’s wearing a sexy smirk and I narrow my eyes at him, knowing full well that he knows why I was distracted.
“Sorry, Sophia. You have my full attention now.” I crouch down in front of her to emphasize my point.
“Good. I said, ‘Can I go play with all those cute goats over there?’” She points to the kids’ corner I set up last week, secretly hoping she’d be in here to hang out with me sometimes.
There’s about a dozen stuffed goats, a bucket full of the stress ball goats I specially ordered after the day she told her dad about feeling sad, and some other sensory objects I thought she might like.
“Of course you can. That’s why it’s there.” Her eyes light up for a split second before she takes off and grabs a purple goat off the bean bag I placed in the area.
There’s a sense of pride running through me, knowing Sophia loves the space I created with her in mind.
“Did you do that for her?” Niko’s voice is low, quiet enough that Sophia can’t hear.
I turn to look at him and nod. “I did. I’m not sure how long I’ll be working here, but hopefully your playoff run lasts a couple months. I figured she should have a safe space in the arena too if she needs it.”
Niko’s eyes bounce between mine, almost as if he’s looking for something. Searching to see why I’d do such a thing. Before I can explain myself any further, he clears his throat.
“Thank you, Sadie. That’s one of the most thoughtful things anyone has ever done for us. Her. I mean, done for her.”
His eyes don’t leave mine, and I swear I can see a slight sheen coating them now. Unsure of what exactly I should say, I shrug my shoulders awkwardly.
“Niko, I—”
My words are cut off by a group of rookies wrestling to get into my office.
“Get off me, bro! You smell like you haven’t showered in a month.”
Jefferson shoves the guy backward before jumping into the room. “It’s my lucky underwear. I haven’t washed it since we started our winning streak a few games ago.”
A chorus of “ewws” and “you’re sick” ring out through the room until they all stop dead in their tracks. Their eyes move back and forth between Niko and me, and it’s not until Jefferson coughs attempting to hide a laugh that I notice how close we’re standing together.
Taking a step back, I cross my arms and lift my chin at the group of hooligans.
“You’re late.”
The rookies scatter around the room, screaming their apologies at me. I do my best to keep a straight face, but their fear makes me chuckle.
At the sound of my laugh, Niko’s attention turns back toward me.
“What?” I ask.
Niko shakes his head before slowly walking backward away from me. “Nothing. I just like that sound. A lot.”
He finds an open meditation cushion, front and center, while I’m left gaping at the beautiful man who is most definitely flirting with me.
“Ready, Miss Sadie?”
Sophia’s voice pulls my eyes away from Niko, and the smile on her face matches my own, but for an entirely different reason.
Am I ready for this meditation session where I will 100 percent be focusing on the handsome captain right in front of me?
Abso-fucking-lutely.