Chapter 39
DANI
Tyrell picked me up from work last night. I still haven’t given him a decision, and it’s definitely lurking there between us, but he’s not demanding anything from me, and so I’ve stayed quiet. Mulling it over as my apartment, that I love so much, gets packed up.
He drove me back there, and when I confessed that my feet were aching after a long shift, he took me into my room and massaged them for me. His fingers are strong, his smooth strokes making my eyes roll to the back of my head. Making it impossible not to love him.
He is an amazing man.
Why haven’t I said yes yet?
I close my eyes, remembering the way he made love to me, the foot rub turning into sensual kisses to my ankles.
He worked his way up my body, peeling off my clothes and taking great care to make sure every inch of me was attended to.
I came with his tongue in my mouth, his fingers rubbing my clit into a frenzy.
Then I came again when he was inside me, my nails digging into his back as he kissed my chin, then paused to drink me in.
I smiled up at him, feeling him all the way inside me, around me, covering me.
Clutching his shoulders, I felt my heart swell with affection, and I nearly said, nearly whispered, “I love you.” But then he started moving again, gently thrusting in and out of me with slow, quiet strokes.
We stared at each other until the heat between us got too intense and I had to tip my head back, had to revel in the feel of his lips sucking my neck, my shoulder.
His tongue glided back up to my mouth, his lips covering mine as he jerked and shuddered inside me, his butt cheeks clenching as he thrust deep and hard.
I clung to him, kissing him as if it was our last.
But it won’t be.
It can’t be.
He’s not flying back to Dallas until after the weekend.
I still have time to decide. I still have time.
“There he… there he is!” Cyrus points, getting all excited as he watches his brother walk up onto the stage.
Tyrell’s family were nice enough to invite me to sit next to them for the graduation ceremony. They scored an extra ticket—I’m not even sure how—so I’m here, sitting at the back of the large auditorium and gazing down at a sea of blue gowns as the university celebrates their graduates.
I’ve spent the majority of the ceremony tuning out while different speeches were made, but now I blink, forcing my head back into the moment as I watch Tyrell, all handsome in his gown and cap, accepting his degree.
“Yes! My boy!” His mama rises to her feet, cheering loudly while his sister snaps photos on her phone. His father struggles to his feet as well, whooping and cheering.
“Yay, Tyrell!” Cyrus laughs, giggling in his sweet way and clapping loudly. “Yay! That’s my brother. That’s my brother!” he yells to everyone around us.
The crowd laughs, joining in the celebration and glancing at Cyrus.
“Good boy.” Mrs. Jackson takes his hand and makes him sit back down again. “That was good, cheering for Tyrell, baby.”
“He’s my brother.” Cyrus keeps grinning, turning his smile on me and whispering, “Tyrell graduated.”
“I know. He did so good.”
“Yeah.” Cyrus nods, giving me an adorable grin before turning back to see who’s going next.
The rest of the ceremony runs smoothly, pockets of families rising to cheer as their son, daughter, sibling, or grandchild goes up to get their diplomas.
I glance over my shoulder, taking in the row associated with Football Frat. They’re loud and playful, cheering on their housemates, but it’s impossible to miss the frown on Carson’s face and the sad wrinkle between Grady’s eyebrows. They’re going to miss their friends.
I turn back to face the front, making myself think ahead for once, imagining what it’s going to be like here without Jed and Tobin. Nix will still be around, but we won’t be living together anymore.
And Tyrell will be gone.
Now that I see how long his father’s recovery is taking and how much his mother is carrying, I get why he feels he needs to go home.
Nolan won’t be the same without him.
Yes, I didn’t know he was here for the first few months, so I was living quite happily without him.
Well, not happily, but I was getting by just fine.
But since we’ve started spending time together, he’s become a really important aspect of this place, and when he leaves, I’m going to feel it.
I’m gonna feel it big.
So why don’t you just go with him?
My heart picks up as I try to imagine what that might look like. Driving down to Dallas with him, moving in with his family. His sweet, kind family who gave me hugs the second they saw me. They remember me. They asked me how I was doing, and they seem thrilled that I’m dating Tyrell.
He didn’t call me his girlfriend, and his mama told him off for not saying it.
“You’re dating the girl, ain’t you? Call her yours, boy.”
His smile fled and he murmured, “We’re just seeing how things go. We don’t need the pressure of labels.”
And I wanted to correct him, to wipe that look off his face.
You can’t move for him. You have to move for you!
Atlas skips through my mind, surprising me with his sudden presence. He’s been fading lately. I don’t think about him every day the way I used to. I don’t obsess about him, and it’s been a nice relief.
But here he is, floating through my brain. Is he trying to tell me something?
My heart buckles the way it always does, this heavy pulse of yearning bursting through me, but it fades with surprising speed.
Because I’m not lost without him anymore.
I’m making something of my life. Sure, I haven’t figured out a career path yet, but I love tending bar. I love living with friends. I love… being with Tyrell. I haven’t been this content and happy in a really long time.
I’m moving on, and every decision isn’t soaked in my dead boyfriend’s memory or my mourning.
Like a soft whisper traveling through me, I feel it. This knowledge. This hope.
I can do this.
I can do this because I want to.
A loud cheer goes up. I blink, suddenly coming to as a wave of blue graduation caps fire into the air. My hands automatically start clapping, and I smile as Cyrus cheers and jumps beside me.
“Okay, let’s go find your brother and get some photos.” Mrs. Jackson takes Cyrus’s hand and orders Lacey to get off her damn phone before she takes it off her, then pauses to make sure her husband is okay shuffling down the row of seats.
I stand and wander after Tyrell’s family.
With the human traffic jam, it’s a slow trek back outside, but we eventually make it.
I’m grateful for the cloudless blue sky as I watch them hug and celebrate with him.
He lifts Lacey off her feet and spins her around, then wraps Cyrus in a strong hug.
His brother is so excited, and Tyrell grins at him.
He’s such a good man.
I love the way he interacts with his family, carefully hugging his father and then kissing his mama’s cheek.
He searches me out then, and I step forward, wrapping my arms around him and knowing.
I can do this.
I can do this because I want to.
Before he can let me go, I squeeze him a little tighter and whisper in his ear, “I’m coming to Texas with you.”