Chapter 38
TYRELL
She’s not sure.
Fuck. I shouldn’t have asked.
I knew I shouldn’t have, but the words just came out of me.
Because I don’t want to lose her.
Which is why I didn’t let that burning disappointment take me from her bed last weekend. I stayed. Spent the whole day there. Even helped her pack a few boxes. She doesn’t actually have that much stuff, so she can just put her clothes in a suitcase and leave.
I hate the idea of her moving into a motel, so I offered to help her look for some places in Nolan.
She seemed surprised by my offer, but I just mumbled, “You want all your options open, right?”
I think she was grateful that I’m not making her feel bad over not jumping on my offer.
Shit, she didn’t jump.
She hesitated. And fuck, that stings.
I ended up leaving on Sunday evening, returning to Football Frat with my tail between my legs.
And the rest of this week, I’ve had my head down as I survive finals week.
Graduation is only a few days away, and I’ve only caught moments with Dani.
We’ve had two more dates, and she spent the night at Football Frat on Friday, which was awesome.
We were all celebrating the end of exams. It was a low-key event, just the original crew and our women.
Everyone was nice to Dani, and I think she could feel the warmth of the place.
She seemed to really connect with Satch, which was cool. They sat next to each other for ages, talking about who knows what, but I loved seeing it. Satch is shy and sweet, and it can take some effort to draw her out, but Dani seemed to do it within minutes.
Standing tall, I gaze around Wily’s room. It’s looking sparse and empty as he finishes packing up the last of his shit.
“Damn, I’m gonna miss this place,” I mutter.
Wily glances at me, running a hand through his blond hair. “Yeah, me too, man.” He gives me a sad, resigned smile. “It’s been an epic few years here.”
“Yeah.” I bite my lips together, trying to squash down my sadness. The thought of moving to Dallas just isn’t sitting right.
Not without Dani.
Damn, how do I convince her to come with me?
It’s taken maximum effort not to keep raising the issue, asking if she’s made a decision yet.
She still hasn’t found an apartment, as far as I’m aware, and I don’t know what she’s gonna do. It’s driving me crazy.
“But we’ll still see each other again. You’re coming to visit us in Glendale, right?”
“Us?” My head pops up.
“Oh shit, didn’t I tell you?” His smile gets all big and cheesy. “Satch got into Arizona State. She’s coming with me.”
My lips part, a smile rising as I take in his excitement. I refuse to be jealous, even though a small part of me is. His woman’s following him. Supporting him.
Because she’s totally in love with him.
And that’s what’s eating at me. I don’t know how Dani feels. She makes love to me. She kisses me. Her eyes sometimes tell me she’s fallen as deep as I have. But she’s never actually said it. And she hasn’t told me she’s coming to Dallas. So what the hell am I supposed to think?
Does she love me? Or not?
“Stoked for you, man.” I raise my chin at him.
“Thanks, bro.” He lets out this euphoric kind of giggle.
“Couldn’t believe it when she told me she was moving her entire life for me.
I was never gonna demand that of her, you know?
She’s tight with her family, and I didn’t think she’d want to move so far away from them, but they’re encouraging her to go.
” He opens another empty box and starts throwing books and magazines into it.
“I’ve told her I’ll pay for her to fly back on the regular so she can do weekends with them, and I’ve offered to have her parents come to us as well.
” His smile just keeps getting bigger. “I’m relieved, to be honest. I knew Grady and Carson were happy to keep an eye on her, but the thought of her staying in this school with those bitches still roaming campus just didn’t sit right with me. ”
“Yeah, I get it, man.” And I do. The thought of leaving Dani here without Jed or Tobin or Nix to have her back? It’s eating me alive.
I know she’s an independent woman who can take care of herself.
But I want to take care of her too… if only she’d let me.
My phone starts to ring and I pull it out of my back pocket, my insides tensing when I see Mama’s name on my screen.
“I better take this, man.” I head for Wily’s door.
“Yep, cool.” He waves at me. “Thanks for your help.”
“No problem.” I swipe my thumb across the screen and head for my room. “Hey, Mama.”
“Hey. How’s my boy doin’?”
“Yeah, good. Just helping Wily pack up his room.”
“Oof. That’s a job right there.”
“Don’t I know it. The guy has so much junk and doesn’t want to get rid of any of it.”
She laughs. “And how’s your packing going?”
“Yeah, I’m getting there.” I walk into my room, staring at the pile of neatly stacked boxes by my closet. My walls are clear, all the posters taken down, and I can’t get over this impending sadness weighing on me.
I thought I’d be more ready than this.
“We’re so looking forward to having you with us again.” I can hear the smile in Mama’s voice, and I don’t want to squash it, so I force out all the right answers.
“Yeah, it’s gonna be great.”
“And I agree that having a few weeks off before looking for a job is a great idea. You’re never gonna get that opportunity again.
But when you’re ready, Dad’s already got that contact lined up for you.
I can’t see why he wouldn’t want to take you on, but if he’s gone and lost his damn mind, there’ll probably be some jobs available at the factory.
Also, one of my girls at work has got a friend in the landscaping business, and then we have that other connection with the building company I told you about a while back. ”
“Yeah.” I nod, hating the way they’re mapping out my life for me.
“You can earn some pennies while you look for the job you really want.”
I don’t want some boring nine-to-five. I want to travel. See the world. But how do I tell you that?
With a thick swallow, I keep bobbing my head and making appropriate murmurs of agreement until she changes topic.
“Now, graduation. We’ll be arriving on Friday morning. And the ceremony is at three, right?”
“Yep. Do you need me to come pick you guys up?”
“No, you’ll be busy getting yourself ready, so we’ve rented a car.
We should be there by one, at the latest. We were going to come on the Thursday originally, but your dad still isn’t great, and I don’t want to put more pressure on him.
I don’t think he should be coming at all, but he’s insisting that he wants to see his boy graduate. ”
“Tell him I appreciate that, but if he can’t make it, I understand.”
“Of course he’s gonna be there. If I can’t stop him, you sure as hell can’t.”
I snicker. That’s true. Mama’s a powerful force in our house, which means Dad must be really digging his heels in.
“He’s proud of you.”
I nod, appreciation making my throat swell.
Shit. They need me right now. I can’t be traveling the world or staying in Nolan. I have to go back to Dallas, no matter where my heart is.
“I’ll make sure he’s well taken care of while he’s here.”
“I know you will.” Mama’s voice gets all soft. “You’re a good boy, Tyrell. I’m proud of you too.”
“Thanks, Mama.”
“And we’re really looking forward to seeing Dani again. It’s been such a long time.”
“Yeah.” I nod, hoping it’ll go well. I really want my parents to like my girl. When I mentioned that I was dating her, they were initially surprised.
“Atlas’s girl?” Dad couldn’t hide his shock, but Mama nudged him with her elbow and started asking questions. By the end of the call, they were both happy for me… and Dad ended up grinning.
“She’s Tyrell’s girl now.”
Oh man, I hope she is. I hope she stays that way forever.
Please, baby. Move to Dallas with me!
“Okay, well, we’ll be seeing you in a few days, then.” Her voice gets bright with excitement.
“Cool. Love you.”
“Love you too, boy. Love you too.”
I hang up, glancing at the time on my phone screen before sinking onto my bed with a sigh.
It’s all coming to an end.
This college journey… and maybe my time with Dani.
“Shit,” I mumble, cupping the back of my head. “Please don’t let that end. Please.”
The idea of leaving her is only making my feelings that much clearer. I’ve fallen in love with this woman. I never meant to, but it’s gone and happened, and I can’t stop it.
I don’t want to stop it.
So even if she doesn’t want to move to Dallas with me, I need to find ways of making sure I can see her again. We can do long-distance while she figures out what she wants to do. I’m open to that.
I’ll miss her like crazy. But I’ll do whatever it takes not to lose her for good.