Chapter Twenty-Three
S he shrank quickly back into the shadows but it was evident that he had seen her. Her mind quickly supplied her with the possibility that he had noticed her slip out, even amongst so many people, and had followed her with some strange intent known only to him .
“Miss Elizabeth,” he said slowly, as though transfixed. He recollected himself a moment later when she said nothing. “Come, you should not be out here. It is too cold and you will become chilled.”
Her reply was polite but icy. “I will return inside in a few minutes, Mr. Darcy. I am quite well at present — I merely wanted some fresh air and solitude. A ballroom, even one so large as your aunt's, has a danger of becoming rather stuffy when filled with so many people.”
“Colonel Fitzwilliam told me…” he began.
“Mr. Darcy, please — I have no wish to discuss it. I always suspected your influence had been at play and was not even particularly surprised to have heard of your boast from your own cousin. I was sincere earlier on when I said that we can have nothing to say to one another. It is much better that you leave me alone here.”
He shook his head. “I did not boast — it was, I grant you, a foolish paragraph in a letter that I ought not to have written, but the only satisfaction I gained from my interference was in my friend's protection.”
“Protection from Jane!” Elizabeth huffed an angry breath, visible in the cold night air. “Oh yes, I quite see that a grown man of Mr. Bingley's age would require your defence against the perils of a young lady who loved him for himself, regardless of his fortune, his terrible sisters, and his even less tolerable friends . ”
He replied quickly and with every appearance of a man who felt himself justified. “I had not, at the time, cause to believe that Miss Bennet truly cared for Mr. Bingley. I see now…that is, Bingley informs me that I was wrong — which I regret. My actions were well intended.”
“Regret! Mr. Darcy, I care not for your regret, sir. You have not expressed any remorse to my sister, after all. What of Jane's regret since November? You clearly have no inkling of what it is to see an innocent sister broken hearted through the perfidy of a man.” Elizabeth saw by the slight widening of his eyes that she had scored a hit there, and continued in triumph, “You thought the very worst of her and had no reason for it. Had she ever harmed you? Not at all. She defended you to me, excusing your intolerable rudeness at our first meeting, and when Mr. Wickham told us his sorry tale, could say no more than that she would not think meanly of Mr. Bingley's friend — even after Mr. Bingley left and exposed her to the derision of the neighbourhood. ”
At the name of Wickham, Mr. Darcy, who had been regarding her intently, his expression calm enough, started, and it was evident that the name brought considerable distaste .
“You take an eager interest in that gentleman's concerns.” His tone was resentful and there was a bitter turn to his countenance .
“His concerns so closely mirror my own, having also been a victim of your arrogance and selfish disdain for the feelings of others, but even if that were not the case, who could help but feel some compassion for Mr. Wickham after your dealings with him?”
“Compassion!” he exclaimed, pacing quickly across the balcony, too agitated now to stand still. For a moment she thought he might once again enter the ballroom, that he was too conceited to attempt to justify himself to her, but he turned and composed himself. “This is a pretty reading you have of my character, Miss Elizabeth — to think that I…but I will not torment myself on that score. Justice, however, demands that I have the opportunity to address properly how widely you have misjudged my character.”
Still angry, Elizabeth shook her head. “I see no need for it, Mr. Darcy. Even if I am wrong, which I strongly doubt, what justification could there possibly be? You gave no such justice to Jane and you have hurt her far more comprehensively than my poor opinion could pain you. A small pinprick in your pride will likely do you some good. I daresay you will not even regard my opinion, particularly given your estimation of my family.”
“I am a monster of conceit in your eyes, Elizabeth.” It was his turn to let out a long breath, and the cold air made it swirl about his face. “You see only the bad in me and no good whatsoever. Perhaps I ought to have spoken flattering words in your ear as Mr. Wickham has, and then you would likely believe every utterance from my mouth. It seems I am not the only one standing here who could be accused of pride .”
Having had quite enough discourse with such an odious man, Lizzy made to move past him to the door but he stayed her with a hand. He did not touch her, but raised his arm sufficiently so that she would have needed to brush past him to reach the door .
“I beg that you would let me pass, sir. Whatever else I think of you, I, at least for now, believe that you are a gentleman and that you will not constrain me to remain.”
“You cannot believe me to be a gentleman if you believe me to be devoid of honour, which George Wickham's fables paint me to be. He may, of course, have changed his narrative somewhat since my last dealings with him — the difficulty with a liar is that they do not always properly recollect supposed details.” He lowered his arm. “I will not, as you say, constrain you, Miss Elizabeth, but I would ask that you remain long enough to doubt, even a little, the goodness of Mr. Wickham.”
There was something in the way he spoke that, irate as she was, Elizabeth recognised as honesty, and it gave her pause. She heard the instruments strike up from within the house and turned to peer into the darkened garden. The chill had seeped into her bones now and she folded her arms about herself for warmth. “Even if…even if you speak truth regarding him, Mr. Darcy, it makes little difference to my estimation of your character. What can it matter to you what I think? You have already made it plain that you despise my family — what possible difference can it make to you if I think poorly of your nature? I manage well enough knowing that you disdain me. Do you see me clamouring at you to change your first impressions.” A little plaintively she added, “I simply do not see why you should prolong an interview with a woman you deemed tolerable at first glance and have argued with ever since. What on earth can you want from me?”
He stepped closer then, and she could see his breath reaching her, enveloping her. “I would like, Elizabeth,” he ground out hoarsely, “to be able to concentrate once more, on anything but you, as I could before I ever laid eyes on you. I have been fighting myself, as though I were my own worst enemy, since that first assembly in Hertfordshire and the first time I looked across the room to see you laughing at me.” For a moment he stooped, his eyes intent, and drew nearer still. Lizzy held her breath, caught between flight and curiosity at what he intended. He did nothing, however, only remained a moment longer before straightening and moving aside to let her pass .
Her anger now fuelled by disappointment, Elizabeth spoke once more, quietly and with a voice that shook, “I would rather any friend of mine to be one who has not had to lose a battle against his own better judgement in order to be in my company. Your concentration, as you put it, sir, will shortly be restored to you, as next week I leave for Kent and after my sister's wedding you need never see me again. ”
She re-entered the house then, in a swirl of white silk, and felt grateful for the oppressive warmth. Her arms, being bare, tingled with renewed sensation, and by the time she had searched the rooms for her aunt and uncle, the numbness in her toes had gone completely.
“Lizzy, where can you have been?” asked her aunt, smiling. “You have missed the most delightful amusement. Three gentlemen, two of them members of the peerage, have been in conversation with your uncle. Apparently his expansion is of considerable interest to them. I even had to request that he not discuss business in a ballroom. It seems they will come to dinner. ”
Elizabeth managed a smile. “So we are to be waited upon at home by lords? I am glad of it. My uncle wanted only a little opportunity, and I daresay very soon all of London will be referring to him with great pride as our foremost businessman. What a crowd of people there are here — Lord and Lady Matlock know ever so many people, do they not? Ought I mention to all of them, Aunt, that my uncle is the very man to take charge of their investments?”
Mrs. Gardiner laughed. “I beg you will not — I should like to see him at home occasionally, you know. Jane is with Mr. Bingley. He offered to fetch her some punch and she desired to walk with him to the table for it. It is a pleasure to see them.”
“I hope you advised her against the punch, to puff up your consequence.”
Aunt Gardiner's eyes twinkled. “Having already sent back a servant with a tray of the most delectable-looking canapes, I decided against it. Your uncle was by turns aghast and amused, by the by. He had four of them. ”
“I see Miss Henning has found Jane and Mr. Bingley,” remarked Elizabeth, smiling at the young lady who had moved eagerly into their path. “She will not be rebuffed. Jane is fond of her, I think.”
“Perhaps Miss Henning reminds Jane of your younger sisters.”
“Perhaps she does, but I cannot fathom which one.” Elizabeth tilted her head and considered. “Kitty, in one of her happy moods, might be considered similar, I suppose. Ah — Mr. Bingley is leading Miss Henning out, at Jane's encouragement if I do not miss my guess. Come, we had better make sure Jane is not left alone and defenceless — who knows but Miss Bingley might decide to swoop in like a… ”
She broke off, frowning. Miss Bingley had indeed noted Jane standing alone for a moment and it was clear she meant to put herself in Jane's way, but was cut off in her intention by Mr. Darcy, who bowed to Jane and held out a gloved hand .
Elizabeth was not sure she could properly identify her feelings when her sister accepted that hand and was led to the dance floor. Indignation was certainly present, amidst other swirling emotions, but she did not like to examine them too closely .
“It seems that Mr. Darcy has rescued our dear Jane,” remarked her aunt.
“She ought not dance with him. He has done her a grave injustice.”
“I am inclined to trust her to decide that for herself. We know of no real ill in Mr. Darcy after all.”
Elizabeth thought of his expression on the balcony when he had attested that she had him distracted, and frowned again but said nothing .
Miss Bingley, evidently much disappointed that Mr. Darcy had taken her prey from her, caught sight of Elizabeth standing beside her aunt.
“Miss Eliza,” she said, having evidently recovered from some of her earlier shock when they spoke. “How do you enjoy the evening? It must be quite different from what you are used to?”
“I do not think I have ever been to a ball so well organised by the hostess,” replied Elizabeth evenly, smiling when she saw Miss Bingley's mouth tighten. “I suppose you have not had an opportunity to meet Miss Bingley, Aunt? I seem to recall that a card was left at home but we were out and so unable to introduce Mr. Bingley's sister to your notice. I wish I might introduce our uncle as well, but I see he is in discussion with Lord Matlock and I don't like to interrupt.”
“Gracious, Lizzy,” Mrs. Gardiner, that most excellent of aunts, exclaimed. “We will be inundated. First Devonshire, then Mr. Pickering and Lord Petersworth, and now Lord Matlock. I do not mean to complain, of course, for your uncle will like to discuss business with them over dinner. I beg your pardon, Miss Bingley — I was momentarily distracted. Your brother has had the excellent fortune to become engaged to my niece, so it is good that we finally meet. ”
It was not clear what Miss Bingley had expected in meeting Jane Bennet's embarrassing aunt, but this was evidently not it. She looked around the room for Mrs. Hurst and beckoned her sister over when she caught her eye.
“I hope I may introduce my sister to you, Mrs. Gardiner — she also met your niece when we were in Hertfordshire. ”
“I do not recall seeing Mrs Hurst's card when we returned home to find yours, Miss Bingley,” replied Mrs. Gardiner. “Do you, Lizzy?”
Elizabeth shook her head, concealing her smile as best she could, but Caroline evidently noted it. “And what amuses you so, Miss Eliza? I do not possess the same ability as you to laugh at everything about you, for I see nothing worthy of humour in Lady Matlock's arrangements, nor in the quality of the guests. ”
“I assure you I do not laugh at Lady Matlock's arrangements, nor do I laugh at the quality guests, Miss Bingley. ”
Mrs. Hurst approached in time to see her sister turn red, and drew in a fortifying breath .
“Good evening, Miss Elizabeth. How do you do, madam? Charles has told us of the happy news. We wish Miss Bennet and our brother every joy possible. Mr. Hurst, I believe, hoped that their union would come to pass.”
“Louisa,” snapped her sister, “we ought to find the Briarcliffes, I do not believe we have sufficiently thanked them for bringing us tonight.”
“Do find them, Caroline,” encouraged Mrs. Hurst gently. “I am sure they will be glad of your company. I should like a moment here first, however.”
Miss Bingley, conscious of the watchful eyes of Eliza Bennet and her embarrassing relative, unfurled her fan and moved away with as much speed as possible .
“My sister,” said Mrs. Hurst delicately, “is very fond of our brother. I daresay that she may take a little time to adjust to the fact that he is to be wed. I beg your pardon if she has caused you offence.”
Mrs. Gardiner nodded to Elizabeth, who replied, “We are quite able to comprehend affection between siblings, Mrs. Hurst. You are not responsible for any offence given by your sister, however — only for yourself. May I introduce you, Aunt, to Mrs. Hurst, Mr. Bingley's eldest sister.”