Chapter Twenty-Four
S he had fallen asleep almost as soon as Elizabeth had snuffed out the single candle that they had carried up to bed. Jane slept the deep and contented sleep that came with the long-awaited resolution to uncertainty .
Papa had given his consent, Charles Bingley loved her, and she had in all things reason to be thankful and happy. In spite of the faint vestiges of guilt that still troubled her when she thought of what she had risked in accepting Mr. Sutton's wager, the outcome had been beyond anything she could have expected. All of her sisters would be well provided for — Mama too, when Papa could no longer have the privilege of her welfare. Added to this was the evident pleasure their aunt and uncle took in the turn of events. It had taken Jane some time to assure the Gardiners that she was indeed delighted with their uncle having charge of an almost burdensome amount of money — that she was made happier by it, in fact. What better joy could there be in riches than in knowing that one single fortune would change for the better the lives of her dearest relations?
Uncle Gardiner had brought her into his study and shown her the planned list of figures for the coming year. It was the work of a moment for her to glance at them and tally them up in her head. Jane Bennet was no fool — she knew that there were few young women with a mathematical bent of mind who would be so indulged. It seemed, however, that her whole life was destined to be so blessed, for when she had softly explained to Charles that she was no reckless gambler — that she calculated in her mind the likelihood of each successive card in the pack — he had not looked on her with revulsion but with admiration .
“That is rather marvellous, you know.” He had made a movement as though he would take her hand, but, recollecting that there were several hundred other people in the room, refrained. Jane felt a thrill of happiness that he was demonstrative in his affection. She wished she might be in quieter company with him. “I suppose you will not think me a silly fellow, Jane, if, when we are married, I bring my accounts for you to look over?”
Her smile answered him before she could form the words and for a moment they revelled in one another's company, peaceful at last after long, painful months apart .
They could not dance every dance together, and Jane at least understood the importance of Mr. Bingley dancing with others. When Miss Henning had bounded up to them, her face eager, Jane had introduced them and spoken kindly, as one must to any younger girl who was so trusting with her friendship.
“Miss Henning has been a delightful friend to Lizzy and me, Mr. Bingley. She dances very well, as we saw at her coming out ball. I do not believe you sat down the whole evening, did you, Miss Henning?”
The younger girl had shaken her head. Her glee in the memory of her very own ball was obvious. Charles looked at Jane and she nodded encouragingly. “I wonder, Miss Henning, if I might have a dance then. I do not claim to be the best partner you will have, but a dance is a fine thing indeed, particularly with any friend of Miss Bennet's.”
Miss Henning nodded again. “I should be very happy to, Mr. Bingley. I am sure Mama will not mind, especially as it is Miss Bennet who introduced us.” She looked up at the beautiful Miss Bennet, a little shyly. “I have heard this evening, Miss Bennet, that Mr. Bingley has just returned from your father's estate.”
Jane smiled. Lizzy would have rolled her eyes at the efficiency of rumour, but to her it was evidence of how many well-wishers they had that good news should fly so swiftly.
“Mr. Bingley and I are to be married, Miss Henning. My father has given his consent.”
“May every joy be yours!” The younger girl's smile was wide. “You will be a bride. Is that not exciting?”
Jane laughed. “Most exciting. I shall be glad when we are married and settled — then we may have an absence of excitement for a time, I hope. ”
She felt Mr. Bingley stir beside her and knew that she had pleased him with her words.
“It is a pity we must wait for the banns until you return home, but your father felt that Mrs. Bennet should have sufficient opportunity to make preparations. I did,” he said a little apologetically, “suggest that we might be married quickly, but in truth I was so relieved that he had not sent me packing that I did not press the matter.”
“It will not be so long. Ah, it is time for you both to take your place in the set. I shall seek out Elizabeth.”
She watched them take their places and turned to look about the room for her younger sister. Elizabeth was the best of sisters but It was plain to Jane that Lizzy's mind was not at ease. She was so very passionate that Jane had almost feared a public argument on her behalf. Surely there was no one so loyal as Elizabeth — a better protector one could not have.
Jane had felt the faint frisson of surprise when her name was pronounced in Mr. Darcy's voice. She turned, then curtseyed.
“I hear, Miss Bennet,” he said, in his usual formal tones, “that my friend is indebted to you for his future happiness. I wish you equal felicity.”
“Thank you, Mr. Darcy,” she said sincerely. “I know that Mr. Bingley will be pleased by your good wishes, sir.”
He hesitated, then offered his hand. “Might I have the honour of this dance, Miss Bennet? I should like the opportunity to speak with you and to make you my apology.”
Jane took the hand. “I will be glad to listen to whatever you wish to say, Mr. Darcy.”
He had led her out in silence, evidently considering his words. She permitted him to think and waited patiently for him to begin.
“My apology must be twofold, Miss Bennet. I have been made to realise that it is through my actions, in my desire to spare my friend unhappiness, that I have caused you distress — prolonged distress. It was never my intention, madam, and I am deeply sorry for it. I do not have any right to ask your pardon but I shall…”
“Please consider yourself forgiven, Mr. Darcy.” Jane broke in. “All is well now. We are to be happy — Mr. Bingley will surely wish his oldest friend to be happy also.”
It took Mr. Darcy a full two measures of the music to form a reply. “I had not anticipated, after speaking with Miss Elizabeth, that your pardon would be so freely given.”
“Oh, Elizabeth — she is protective. If one is loved by Lizzy she will take every harm or heartache upon herself to defend.”
“Yes,” he said, slowly. “Yes. Will she forgive, Miss Bennet? Knowing that I have been the one to inflict that harm?”
“I believe so, Mr. Darcy. You must not despair, sir, that she will be furious with you forever.”
He nodded, considering this. “You hold no similar fury, Miss Bennet? Knowing that it was I who persuaded him in the first place that you did not return his affections, that I concealed from him your presence in town.”
“From what Mr. Bingley has told you of your nature, sir, your actions will have been done for the best. What did you owe me? You felt your friend to be at risk and perhaps I too have been at fault — I have never been at ease in company and I am afraid I am not so lively as some…”
“Miss Bennet, please. I beg you will take no blame upon yourself. I understand reticence very well — my sister can barely speak a word if there are many people present that she does not know. I have no excuse — I ought to have seen that you and she are very alike. I have hurt my friend as much as I have you and I wonder now if I have any right to his friendship, given this wretched few months in which I did nothing to amend matters when I saw him miserable.”
“Mr. Darcy,” said Jane firmly, “I can understand any person wishing to protect Charles Bingley. If you ceased to stand his friend, it would only make him sorrowful, and furthermore, he would have one ally less. He has always valued you. It was clear by how much he spoke of your help to him while we were in Hertfordshire.”
Again he hesitated. “I have no right to ask it, Miss Bennet, but I should be very glad of your advice. Miss Elizabeth would be quite content never to lay eyes on me again once your wedding is over.”
His voice was steady enough but Jane had noticed his eyes on her sister often enough to decipher what he did not say. “You do not wish her to think ill of you.”
“I am afraid I did not express myself well to her this evening and that she thinks me her enemy. I am sorry to say that we have quarrelled.”
“She has only this night heard from your cousin what you have now confessed to me, Mr. Darcy. Upon my advice, she has attempted to minimise any time with you so as not to argue. Did my sister change her mind as to the soundness of this and seek you out?”
The strangled noise he had then made in his throat, Jane decided, as she sat up in bed the next morning, might have been a groan of realisation in any other man. It was what she liked so much about Charles, she reflected — his manner and expression was so very open. With him there was little concealment. If Charles Bingley smiled, it was an honest expression of happiness and his laughter was likewise an expression of joy or amusement. It would be a wonderful thing to spend every day with him.
Beside her, Elizabeth stirred and opened sleepy eyes for a moment before closing them again. “What is the time?”
“Not more than eight o'clock, I should think. It is raining outside so I do not imagine you will take the children to the park this morning.”
Her eyes still closed, Elizabeth made a hum of agreement.
“I am glad you are awake, Lizzy, for I most particularly wanted to speak with you and neither of us had the opportunity last night. Little wonder — we were all so weary. Our aunt could barely keep her eyes open on the journey home.”
“I am not awake,” protested Elizabeth, but after a moment she stretched and made her way to a sitting position. Jane held her pillow up against the headboard for her as she made herself comfortable .
“Very well, I am now curious, which you knew I would be. How can you be so alert, Jane? Is this what comes of being engaged? Must one, after becoming betrothed, forgo a decent amount of sleep? I shall ask Charlotte and see how your experiences compare.”
“I danced with Mr. Darcy last night.”
“I do trust you have not decided you prefer him to Mr. Bingley,” replied Lizzy, pursing her mouth and closing her eyes again.
Even a gentle and delicately boned hand could be surprising in its strength, and Jane, much like Kitty and Lydia, knew how to prod a sister.
“Ah!” Elizabeth exclaimed, “I cry pardon and surrender! I apologise for the insult. Mr. Bingley is in every way superior to Mr. Darcy and I ought never to have impugned your good taste in such a way.”
The hand was withdrawn, and Miss Bennet of Longbourn, engaged to Mr. Bingley and in possession of a good income, primly drew the blankets about her .
“Mr. Darcy was most regretful that you dislike him so much.”
“If he were not so odiously proud I might not do so.”
“Is it the work of a proud man to seek me out in order to beg my pardon for any pain he has ever given me?”
Elizabeth frowned. “Do you mean to like him, Jane? I declare you are too forgiving by half. You will shortly be walking arm in arm with Mr. Bingley's sisters as though they had not done you any ill turn whatsoever.
“They will be my sisters too, dearest, and I hope you do not think me so foolish as all that.”
“No, no, I do not think you foolish — it is only that Mr. Darcy is not a worthy friend to you. He said himself last night that he had been battling himself — acting against his own better judgement — even to speak to me.”
“He said that?”
“Or words to that effect. I can hardly be expected to remember every insult that comes out of his mouth, can I?”
“Well then, he must have had some considerable strength of feeling to overcome that better judgement, do you not think? He danced with you, he sought you out, he called here, and he, if you will believe my evaluation, had very little pride whatsoever when he asked me for my advice as to how to speak to you.”
“Did he say anything about Mr. Wickham?” Elizabeth suddenly asked, ignoring for now the weight of that last statement. “He indicated last night that Mr. Wickham was not trustworthy. Mr. Darcy wanted me to doubt whatever it was I had been told by him.”
“He said that Mr. Wickham is not a gentleman and ought not to be believed in matters of history, nor should be trusted with money or young ladies who have any.” Jane looked at her sister. “He sounded rather anxious that I understand that last point.”
“I see.” Lizzy wrinkled her brow in concentration. “I had better get up. If I may not go outside, at least I can play a game with the children that involves running up and down the stairs. ”
“Mr. Darcy wishes to set things right with you, Lizzy,” continued Jane, as though her sister had not spoken. “I am sure if you ask him for his account of Mr. Wickham, he would tell you. He regards you very highly.”
Elizabeth stood from the bed and began busying herself by untying her ribbons. “He said last night…I do not think he meant to say it but I have been unable to eject it from my mind…”
“What did he say, dearest?”
“He said that I had robbed him of his concentration, that he had not been able to think of anything but me since he first saw me in Hertfordshire.”
“That is…that is unexpectedly romantic of him.”
“Unexpected!” Elizabeth gave a weak laugh. “I am still astonished this morning, but prepare yourself, for it was then he told me that he fought himself as though he were his own worst enemy — it is not so flattering after all, you see.”
Jane watched her steadily, her pale eyes fixed on her sister.
“Caroline Bingley was the louder voice, you know, in persuading Charles that he ought to leave for London. Charles told me that he had withstood his sisters, but that Mr. Darcy had not judged my feelings accurately and it was belief in my indifference that took him away. Mr. Darcy spoke very little in that interview.”
Elizabeth, having successfully untangled the ribbons, twisted to look curiously at Jane, who still sat up in their bed.
“I mention it because Mr. Darcy appeared, during our dance, to be most concerned that you would always dislike him for it. I have forgiven him, Lizzy — he asked for pardon and he has received it. I believe it was his intent to be a good friend to Charles and that friendship must continue. I love Mr. Bingley,” she said, smiling, “and thus he must retain his most loyal allies. Imagine, Lizzy, if you devised a plan to help me, and that you persuaded me into it against my better judgement, and although your intent may have been good, it would not have been what I chose for myself.”
“Jane!” Elizabeth sat back down and reached across the bedcover to take her sister's hand. “I see what it is you are saying.” She spoke rapidly. “You think that my scheming here in London is the same as Mr. Darcy's? Oh, very well, not solely Mr. Darcy's, but his, Miss Bingley's, and Mrs. Hurst's.”
“I think the intent and action are much the same although the outcome differs.”
“I am very sorry then.” Elizabeth's tone was glum.
“You are forgiven.” Jane pressed her hand. “I know well that you have thought only of protecting me and of cheering me up. It has all turned out for the best after all. Do try to understand, Lizzy, that Mr. Darcy is not a terrible man. He has his faults, certainly, but he desires to rectify them and I believe that desire springs from his admiration of you.”
Elizabeth stood and walked to the window, pushing back the heavy curtain that inhibited her view of the street outside .
“What a pity it rains — I so desperately want a walk. I cannot think. Let us now cease speaking of him, Jane. My head is full enough of him.”
“Very well. I shall say only one more thing, and it is this. Mr. Darcy will follow you to Kent when you go next week.”
“Did he say that? Perhaps you have need of me in Longbourn, Jane — I am sure there are wedding preparations I can be of assistance with. Charlotte will quite understand my not going to Hunsford.”
“You will go to Hunsford, my dearest sister, and you will be as good a friend to Charlotte as you ever have been. She wants you. Let us speak plainly: Mr. Collins is not Charles, after all. How disquieting it must be to marry a man you do not hold in so high regard. Mr. Darcy is a gentleman and will not plague you if you cannot like him. In three weeks' time, you will come back to Longbourn and, after the banns are published, stand as my bridesmaid if you please.”
“I very much please. It is only the rest of it that displeases me.”
“Three weeks, Lizzy.”
“I shall miss being near you, Jane. Will you at least come with me before I leave, to select a handsome present for Mrs. Collins? ”