13. Caleb
CHAPTER 13
CALEB
M y entire body sags once my car is in park in the driveway. Work was draining, and then traffic was a bitch. Every day, this job gets harder. I have a love-hate relationship with my profession. I enjoy helping people. It’s fulfilling. But the tragedies I witness and the poor circumstances I have to be involved with can very easily weigh on me. And watching the justice system fail the people who need it most grates on me.
I drag myself out of the car, hit the lock button on my key fob, and trudge toward the front of the house.
The lights on the first floor are dimmed, like everyone’s already in their respective rooms for the night.
The sight makes my heart drop. I want to see Halle. I want to talk with her about normal, mundane things. I haven’t seen her in days and I’m more than a little desperate for normalcy.
Not that any of this is normal. I made my feelings for the woman clear. She reciprocated. Yet we’re at a standstill. And on top of that, she’s staying here temporarily. Soon enough, she and her brothers will go home. Honestly, I’m shocked she hasn’t tried to go back while she waits for the repairs to begin.
Inside, I lock the door and head for the kitchen. The house smells incredible, making my stomach rumble. Damn. The turkey sandwich I grabbed from the deli for lunch was hardly sufficient.
I veer toward the stairs and set my stuff down, then make a beeline for the fridge. The lights above the island are on but dimmed, so it isn’t until I’m passing it, on a mission to dig for leftovers, that I notice the containers on the marble countertop.
Spaghetti.
She made spaghetti for dinner.
This isn’t the first time she’s cooked, but it catches me off guard anyway.
The soft approach of feet snags my attention, then Halle appears in the doorway.
Her damp hair hangs past her shoulders and she’s wearing an oversize blue t-shirt and what looks like blue and white boxers beneath .
I bristle at the sight of those. I’ve never been the jealous type, but the unbridled feeling rises up inside me anyway. I shove it down, way down, and smile.
“This looks delicious.”
“I thought you’d be in sooner,” she remarks, eating up the space between us with careful steps.
My shoulders sag. “There was an accident. It slowed traffic down.”
“Ah, that makes sense. Do you want to shower before you eat? I can plate our food while you do that.” She looks down at her toes, wiggling them against the hardwood floor.
I splay my hands on the counter. “You haven’t eaten because you were waiting for me?” There’s no hiding my disbelief or my hope. “Why?”
She shrugs her slender shoulders and drags her eyes up to mine. They’re wide, doe-like, and swimming with uncertainty. “Because I wanted to.”
Fuck if that doesn’t feel like a shot straight to my heart. She waited because she wants to eat dinner with me? My mind runs with that, reading into the statement a little too deeply and pulling meaning from it—that she wants to spend time with me—that may only be wishful thinking.
“A shower would be nice.”
“Okay.” She blesses me with the tiniest of smiles. “I’ll get this ready.”
I take the quickest shower of my life, then change into a pair of sleep pants and a sweatshirt. I’ve never minded dressing up for work, but nothing beats the feeling of slipping into comfortable clothes at the end of the day .
On the way back, I pop my head into the twins’ room. They’re watching TV with the door open, sprawled out, lanky limbs everywhere. “Hey, guys.”
As if the movement was choreographed, they glance over, heads tilted at the same angle.
“Hey.” Casen waves.
“Good to have you back, landlord.” Quinn chortles.
“Landlord.” I stifle a snort and shake my head. “You’re funny.”
With a rap of my knuckles on the doorframe, I step back out into the hallway and let them get back to their movie. They have school in the morning, and it’s getting late, but in the few days they’ve been here, I’ve already learned that there’s really no controlling a teen’s bedtime. I guess I can look forward to that experience with Seda.
Downstairs, Halle has set our food out on the dining room table. Our plates are on opposite sides, directly across from each other, and she’s filled two glasses with ice water. She’s even gone through the trouble of lighting a few candles.
It’s … romantic.
So much so that my steps come up short and my heart trips over itself.
Am I dreaming? Worse, am I dead?
“Don’t look so shocked,” she laughs.
Fuck if I don’t fall in love with that sound. I didn’t know it was possible to feel such deep emotion for a person’s laugh, but hers is so rare that I can’t help but treasure it.
“They’re just candles. Don’t overthink it.”
Right. Just candles .
I ease into the seat across from her, taking her in. Her face is bare of any makeup. Her hair is mostly dry now, the ends curling slightly.
Lips puckered and attention fixed on her fork as she twists it in her noodles, she says, “I met Salem today. Like actually met her, not just in passing. She brought cupcakes.”
“You finally met her, huh?” Though I force a smile, nerves assault my stomach.
Salem has been itching to meet Halle, especially since she knows I like her. It’s thanks to sheer luck only that she hasn’t until now.
“How’d that go?”
She lifts one shoulder, gaze still averted. “It was fine. She’s really pretty.”
You’re prettier .
“She… uh… told me the whole story. About what happened between you two, I mean. And Thayer.”
I take my time chewing and swallowing a bite of spaghetti. “It was a hard time for all of us.”
“I’m sure. She told me about Thayer’s son…” She audibly swallows. “I can’t imagine. If something happened to one of my brothers, it would devastate me. I don’t know how you ever recover from something like that.”
“You don’t,” I answer simply. “He’ll always carry that pain. He has good days and bad, but I think he chooses to live and love his life that much more for Forrest.”
She sips her water, eyes trained on me. “You actually like him, don’t you?”
Laughter flies out of me. “Now? Yeah. Didn’t used to, though. ”
She cocks her head to the side. “You mean something actually managed to ruffle your feathers, Caleb Thorne?”
“My feathers get ruffled more often than you’d think,” I admit. “But yeah, I was hurt and angry. Who wouldn’t be? The divorce was a blow too.”
She winces at that, making my heart sink.
Shit. I clear my throat. “But probably not in the ways you’re thinking.”
“Explain,” she demands, her voice warbling slightly. “I want to understand you better.”
Halle is so self-reliant, so independent. So this? Wanting to know more about me? It feels like a gift.
“I felt like I had failed Seda. My parents aren’t divorced, but they probably should be. All my life, I’ve strived not to be anything like them. All I wanted was for Seda to have a better childhood than I did. Divorce meant separate homes, and even though I’d formally adopted her and Salem promised that she would never take my daughter from me, I was still scared. She’s not my blood. I know exactly how that would play out if we ended up in court.”
“Salem said you wanted more kids.”
I sigh and set my fork down. I’m glad Halle is curious about my life, and if there’s any chance of a future between us, she needs to know this stuff, but fuck if it doesn’t dredge up pain that took a long time to abate.
“I did.” There’s no sense in lying. “Seda was getting older, and I wanted her to have siblings.”
Halle takes a deep breath, then lets it out slowly. “Are you still in love with her? I need to know that.”
“No,” I answer easily. “I’m not. There will always be a place in my heart for her. She’s Seda’s mom, after all. But that’s where my feelings for her end.”
“Are you sure?” she presses. “I-I need to know, because I… I have feelings for you. It’s confusing, and I don’t know what to make of them, but I can’t… I refuse to fall for a man who’s in love with someone else.”
My heart stumbles over itself, and I’m pretty sure my jaw just hit the floor.
“You’re falling for me?”
“I don’t know!” Voice rising, she covers her face with her hands. “I don’t know,” she says, softer this time. “Like I said, I’m confused. I don’t have experience with guys like you.”
My chest tightens. “Like me?”
“You know.” She waves a hand a little wildly. “Perfect.”
The laugh that escapes me is sardonic. “Halle, I’m far from perfect.”
“From where I’m sitting, you seem pretty dang close to it, while I’m the furthest thing from it. My family is a disaster. The town I lived in all my life is a giant ticket to nowhere. I only finished one year of community college because I couldn’t handle the schoolwork while working multiple jobs and ensuring my brothers were taken care of.”
Her shoulders droop.
“I used every penny I had to buy a house that probably should have been bulldozed. I’m still barely scraping by with two jobs while trying to build a life where my brothers can just be kids. I’m a wreck . I can’t possibly be what you want or need, but there’s a connection here I can’t deny.” She flicks a finger between us. “You said I had to make the first move, but I’m scared. Everyone in my life has let me down, Caleb. Everyone. I don’t want you to let me down too. But I don’t want to put that pressure on you. There will always be disappointments. No one is perfect. But if this would just be sex?—”
“Halle. Shut up, please.”
She presses her lips together at my command, her cheeks turning the brightest shade of red.
I straighten in my seat and angle forward. “You could never let me down. We’ve recognized that there’s mutual attraction here. Now let’s get on the same page. What do you want from me? Do you want to give this a serious try? Actually date? Or do you just want sex?”
Halle covers her face with her hands again, shaking her head.
I bite back a laugh as I watch her. I shouldn’t find her turmoil so amusing, but damn if her transparency isn’t refreshing.
“I could bend you over this table,” I grit out. “Skim my hands up your thighs and slide your pants down. If I did, would I find you wet and waiting for me?”
Her hands drop with a thud to the table. We’ve both entirely forgotten to eat.
“Caleb,” she breathes, her eyes wide. She looks toward the stairs. “My brothers?—”
“I was kidding.” I pick up my water glass and take a slow sip. “Not that I wouldn’t love to bend you over and fuck you from behind, but now’s not the time.”
She ducks her head so her hair hides her face and shakes it. “I… I thought I was confused before, but now you’ve really got me tangled up.”
“Good.” I choke back a laugh. “I like that I can take you by surprise.”
In a town this small, we all know one another. Sometimes too well. Halle’s status as a new resident isn’t what intrigues me, but I can’t deny that her lack of preconceived notions about me is refreshing. I’ve never been interested in the friends with benefits thing, so I’m hoping she’ll shoot that proposal down, but if that’s all she’ll give me for now, then I’ll take it.
“I’ve never dated anyone.” Though she lets out a shaky breath once the words are out, she follows it by lifting her chin and pulling her shoulders back. “That’s not to say I’m inexperienced in other ways. But relationships? It’s all foreign to me, and I’m scared.” She swallows thickly.
I keep my mouth shut, hands fisted in my lap to keep from reaching out for her. It took a great deal of guts for her to admit to her fear, and I want to show her that I’m listening, that I respect her feelings completely.
“But I’d like to go on a date with you. See where this thing goes. But”—she holds up a finger—“if this doesn’t work out, you have to promise that we’ll remain cordial. We’re neighbors, after all.”
I lean across the table and hold out my pinky.
“Promise.”
She loops her finger through mine. “Promise.”