Chapter 31
Right on cue, Poppy is strutting towards Adam and me with a bottle of champagne in her hand.
‘Adam,’ I whisper, ‘I get the impression that you might want a heart to heart with Poppy and I’m sorry to ask, but do you mind if I steal her for a chat first? I know it’s terrible timing.’
‘I’ve waited long enough, another half hour won’t hurt,’ he says, and he looks so nervous to be honest I think he is probably quite happy not to face up to telling Poppy.
‘You’re a legend,’ I say, so grateful that I give him a massive cuddle. ‘You,’ I say, pointing at Poppy. ‘With me.’
‘You’re being very dramatic. Have you been drinking beer? I love drunk Sophie! Where are you taking me?’
‘To the beach!’ I say briskly, grabbing another two bottles on the way. We pad across the soft sand, the sun still burning bright beyond the sea’s crashing waves. The fresh air hits my skin and I take in revitalising breaths.
‘Shoot go okay?’
‘Really good.’ She nods as we find a rocky outcrop to rest on. ‘But you didn’t drag me down here for niceties. Come on, out with it.’
‘Right,’ I inhale. ‘I need to be honest with you about something. You’re going to be mad at me, but will you please listen to the whole thing before you start shouting?’
She cocks an eyebrow and motions for me to proceed.
Here goes. ‘I lied about my relationship with Joe. I did it for Lila, I had this huge mum guilt because she wasn’t getting invited to school parties and I thought that if Joe and I had this united front, I’d get accepted into the parent clique. I know it sounds stupid, but the thing is it worked! Joe and I concocted this whole fake relationship thing …’
I pause to look out over the choppy sea, a swirl of whites and blues. And then I push on, speaking fast now.
‘And, the truth is it got you off my back too. All the dates you’d wanted me to go on, that bloody app. I felt guilty because you’re my sister and the whole thing was a sham, but then I stopped feeling guilty because the more Joe and I hung out together, the more it felt like we actually were in a relationship. Saying it out loud makes me feel so stupid. And I’ve totally fucked up, because I didn’t realise how I felt and now that I’ve finally understood my feelings for him it’s too late! He’s moving to the other side of the country and—’
I wipe the tears streaming down my face.
‘I’m so sorry, Poppy. I was an idiot. I should never have lied to you.’
I chance a look at her now and see astonishment written across her face.
‘Let me get this straight,’ Poppy says after a long swig of beer. ‘You faked a relationship because you wanted Lila to get invited to parties and you didn’t want me to set you up on any more dates?’
I nod.
‘And now that you’re in a fauxmance, you’ve realised that you actually really like the guy you’re pretend-dating?’
I suck in my breath. Here comes the wrath of Poppy.
‘BA HA HA,’ she booms, explosive laughter scaring off a nearby seagull. ‘Oh my god, that is classic Sophie.’
Her whole body is juddering up and down as she laughs.
‘What do you mean, “classic Sophie”?’ I’m now slightly perturbed as well as embarrassed.
‘You are so stubborn! Heaven forbid anyone else tries to actually help you out. No, no, Sophie always has to get there on her own. Even if it means you follow the most circuitous route. But really this takes the piss, sis. A fake romance?’
She’s clutching her belly now. Just when I think she’s about to stop she catches my eye and cracks up again. It takes so long for Poppy to straighten herself out that I have emptied my drink by the time she’s finished.
‘You’re not mad?’
‘Exasperated maybe, but not mad.’ She dries her eyes. ‘Now, what’s this about him leaving?’
So I explain about York and the real reason Joe couldn’t make the wedding this weekend.
‘And does Joe have any idea how you feel?’
‘Well … I’ve sort of spent a lot of time making it pretty clear that I don’t want a relationship.’
‘I bet you have,’ she mutters, shivering. ‘Let’s head back inside?’
As we walk back to the grand hotel she puts her arm through mine and I explain it from the beginning. ‘After we kissed at Tally’s party we’ve been super awkward with each other and then Mark showed up at the absolute worst time and Denise told me that’s when Joe decided to distance himself from me. He thought he was trying to do the right thing for me and Lila to get back together as a family with Mark and I thought he was just freaked out after our kiss and was having second thoughts about hanging out with me.’
We sidestep a couple of wedding guests dry-humping on a chaise longue and take the lift up to my floor, quietly heading into my room. I ease Lila’s door open just a centimetre and hear the gentle putter that she makes when she’s asleep.
Poppy’s rifling through my minibar when I emerge, selecting tiny vodkas for us both. She motions for me to sit down in front of the dresser and brandishes a hairbrush.
‘We need a plan,’ Poppy announces. ‘I’m thinking grand romantic gesture.’
‘I have a plan! Get back to Bristol first thing tomorrow. I’d go now but it’s late, Lila’s asleep and I’m way too pissed to drive.’
‘Shall I call reception and see if we can get a helicopter?’
‘Not sure I could stretch to that, Pops. Besides, he’ll be asleep by the time I get back.’
‘All right, killjoy. Listen, don’t look so worried. I have a sneaky suspicion this will work out well for you. Now can we go downstairs to dance?’
‘I mean, I’m not getting out of here any time soon so—’
Back in the hallway I gabble on to Poppy about how I intend to sit him down for a proper conversation. However it seems that my sister has chosen to sidestep the apparent mediocrity of this strategy and instead she’s concocting various romantic scenarios for our future together.
‘He might still go to York,’ I’m saying nervously as I call the lift. ‘He might have changed his mind about me or maybe he might just really want to move away now or maybe—’
‘We can all go for Sunday roasts together at The Royal Oak,’ Poppy butts in. ‘And I’ll do your wedding photos for free, of course.’
‘How did we get from family roasts to marriage in under two seconds?’
Poppy slugs from yet another miniature she liberated and admires her reflection in the mirrored lift doors.
‘You look absolutely banging, sis,’ she says. ‘Green really suits you. Where was I? Oh yeah, your wedding. Did you know that you can get dolphins to propose? I watched a clip on YouTube. This couple were swimming with dolphins, right? Then one dolphin swam towards them with a heart-shaped rubber ring balanced on the end of its nose. The ring had a diamond ring on it! She said yes, the couple started kissing and then the dolphins did a little kiss too. It was the cutest.’
‘You have got to calm down,’ I insist as the lift dings to tell us it’s arrived. ‘You can’t rush us into marriage when we don’t even know if he’ll agree to a proper date yet. Now let’s get you back to the party. Adam’s there and …’
Poppy narrows her eyes. ‘What were you two chatting about earlier?’
Half an hour later, Dad and I are attempting a waltz when I spot Poppy and Adam snogging in the corner of the dancefloor like a pair of giddy teens. I’m so happy for them I could pop. And it makes me all the more certain that my feelings for Joe are very, very genuine.
Sunday morning could not come soon enough. Once again I barely slept last night and Lila has chosen this morning to have the first lie-in of her life. It’s absolute sod’s law I think as I try to wake her up, desperate to get on.
‘Mummy, what are you doing?’ Lila rubs her eyes as I lay out some clothes for her.
‘We’re going to breakfast sweetheart!’
‘It’s dark outside.’
‘We’re going to find Granny and Grandpa and then I’m going to ask if they’ll look after you this morning.’
‘Where are you going?’ she yawns as we pad down to breakfast.
‘Well, Mummy’s going to go and see Joe.’
‘Why?’
‘He’s just … I need to … Don’t worry. Did you enjoy the cake yesterday?’
‘I like Joe.’
I stop for a moment and smile.
‘Me too, sweetheart.’
In the breakfast room I mainline a couple of black coffees while Lila demolishes a waffle with maple syrup. It’s gone seven a.m. and Mum and Dad still aren’t here, which I’m trying not to get too fidgety about.
I try to admire the view of golden sands and blue sea stretching out beyond the restaurant’s windows but OH DEAR LORD CAN THIS MORNING HURRY UP ALREADY?
‘Lila,’ I say, tipping into nervous chatter mode. ‘How would you feel if Mummy had a boyfriend?’
Bit presumptuous, I guess, but important to test the waters.
‘Fine.’ She shrugs, mouth full of waffle. ‘Have you found one?’
‘Um …’ I dither.
‘What about Joe? He’s nice and he makes the best mashed potato.’
This makes me laugh in spite of myself, and I feel a rush of love towards my beautiful daughter, even if she is now trying to sip directly from the jug of maple syrup.
‘Here we are,’ announces Poppy with a flourish. Mum, Dad and Adam are following close behind. ‘I totally told everyone what you’re up to.’
‘How thrilling!’ cheers Mum. ‘Why are you still here?’
‘Waiting for you!’ I squeak, exasperated.
‘Well, we’ll take over breakfast from here. You need to go!’
‘I am aware of that, Mother.’
Honestly.
‘I can go and get you checked out with reception if that helps?’ Adam offers.
‘Adam, you’re the best,’ I gabble, making a break for it. ‘And I’m so happy for you and Pop!’
The Mini won’t start. I let out a groan. ‘Don’t fail me now, old friend,’ I whisper, giving the steering wheel a little stroke and trying the ignition again.
A little chug of the engine and then …
Nothing.
‘NOOOOO,’ shrieks Poppy, hands clasped to her face à la Kevin in Home Alone. She’s standing on the front steps of the hotel with Adam, Mum, Dad, Lila, Alexis, Chase and some of last night’s wedding guests. Poppy’s told everyone about my quest and gathered a small crowd to wave me off.
Alexis strides over, a vision in white again, only today the new bride has opted for a pristine white shirt tucked into white denim hotpants. Sounds naff, looks chic.
‘Babes, you’re welcome to take ours,’ she says through my open window.
I follow her gaze.
It appears that Alexis is suggesting I drive back to Bristol in a vintage Aston Martin with the words Just Married looping across the rear window. A display of fresh white roses frames the number plate and the back of the car is filled with more balloons. Tassel garlands hang from the door handles. It’s … a lot.
‘I couldn’t possibly—’
‘Chase and I have decided to stay another night so we won’t need it until tomorrow anyway. And it is a car for true love. Isn’t what this is all about?’
‘I wouldn’t know how to drive it …’
‘You won’t be driving it.’ Alexis beams. ‘Obviously we have a driver.’
Obviously.
‘Larry will take you wherever you need to go.’
The car is so full of balloons that I had not spotted Larry sitting in the driver’s seat. He gives me a cheery wave and honks his horn. The crowd cheers. I look back to Lila and the rest of my family. The sensible side of my brain tells me to stay and figure out how to get my car fixed. Take the practical approach. But there’s a much noisier side which is shouting at me to GO GO GO. (Or maybe that’s actually foghorn Poppy?)
‘Are you sure you don’t mind?’
But Alexis is helping me out of my own car and walking me over to the Aston Martin. Meanwhile Poppy has already unloaded my luggage and is slinging it into the boot.
‘Can I be a balloon when I’m older?’ Lila shouts, her little hand clinging onto a huge confetti-filled orb from the wedding. I rush over to give her a cuddle then I fold myself into the back seat of the Aston Martin, jostling for space with all the balloons which squeak as I climb in.
‘Step on it, Larry!’