Chapter 13 #2
Hallie looked down at Sydney’s hands, which she was kneading together like a cat making biscuits.
At this rate, Hallie should give her some lotion so at least Sydney would be doing something productive with all of her fretting.
“Let me guess. Wringing hands? Pacing? A wild, fearful look in your eyes?”
“I’m not that bad,” Sydney argued. But Hallie wasn’t accusing her of anything. She was just noting the exact behaviors that Sydney was currently displaying.
Hallie inclined her head, saying more with a look than her words ever could, which made Sydney stop quickly and square her shoulders. Lowering her voice, she said, “And what about you? Miss ‘Waltzing Into the Inn Hand in Hand With Brynn Fitzpatrick.’”
Hallie avoided eye contact. “It was icy outside.” Which wasn’t a lie.
Sydney let out a guffaw and leaned forward. “Brynn freaking Fitzpatrick—or ‘BFF,’ since I’m sure that’s all it is, right?”
She could at least give her friend points for creativity, even if she wasn’t going to tell her that. And why was Sydney trying to distract her when there were actual, serious issues on the table? Greg’s injury. Reese’s fainting. That was what they should be focusing on!
Hallie took a steadying breath. “There have been no conversational happenings as to the status of anything related to what could be construed as a romantic relationship.”
Sydney’s eyes narrowed. “Then why do you sound like a confusing proposition on a voting ballot?”
Hallie chanced a glance over her shoulder, where Brynn was still sitting on the sofa with Reese, who’d shifted into an upright position. Seeing that at least all was quiet over there, she looked back at Sydney. “You two should really get going to beat the storm.”
“What about non-conversational updates?” Sydney nudged. “Like holding hands and whatever it is that you aren’t telling me.”
This was the problem with lifelong friendships! It was impossible to keep anything from Sydney, especially once she got fixated on something.
At Hallie’s silence, Sydney pressed on. “What happened to never lying to me, huh? I want you to know that, as the architect of this date, I was expecting a full debrief.”
Massaging the bridge of her nose, Hallie managed to get out, “Architect, really? I always like how humble you are, Sydney. Truly.”
Sydney gasped. “You’re being evasive. You’re evading me. Me, your best friend!”
She appreciated how aghast Sydney was right now, and Hallie laughed in spite of her best attempts to stay focused.
And then she felt the flutter again, low in her stomach, when she thought about what Brynn had done for her earlier today. How did she even quantify that to Sydney?
To make Hallie feel so seen and protected and defended, in a way that she’d never experienced from anyone other than Sydney. Definitely not from anyone she’d ever had romantic feelings for.
“Well, I still really care about her,” was where she landed, smiling softly.
Just then, she felt as much as she heard movement behind them. She knew it was Brynn from the subtle scent of her perfume. She’d been dreaming of the soft scent for weeks now.
When Brynn reached the counter, she stood so close that their shoulders were almost touching, and Hallie had to resist the urge to reach for her hand. Resist a lot more than that, in fact.
“I’m going to finish cleaning the rooms since Candace will be gone for the rest of the day.” Brynn’s voice broke through the haze, keeping Hallie from almost doing something incredibly dumb, like wrapping her arm around Brynn’s waist and pulling her close.
“You don’t need to—” But Hallie’s words died in her throat when Brynn leveled her with a smile that stole her breath. Yeah, this had moved laughably far beyond friendship for Hallie.
Brynn glanced at her again, oblivious to her turmoil. “You can make sure things are okay here, and then Reese and Sydney can head home before the snow gets too bad?”
They all looked out the window near the desk then as fat, heavy snowflakes fell harder than they had a few minutes before.
“That’s a great idea, Brynn. Thank you for the generous offer,” Sydney said at the same time Hallie shot her best friend a daggered look. Had she not tried to convince Sydney of this, not even ten minutes ago?!
Brynn ran her hand down Hallie’s arm, which made her realize that she hadn’t even taken off her coat yet. All that Hallie could think about was how she had denied herself the chance to feel warm skin against her own. But then Brynn was saying, “I’ll check in with you later?”
Hallie wasn’t sure, but she thought that maybe there was the same awareness that she heard in her own voice, whenever Brynn was close and she had to pretend like her heart didn’t want to beat out of her chest.
She nodded, and Brynn disappeared down the hallway to find the cleaning cart where Candace had left it.
Sydney had that ridiculous smirk on her face again as she pointed in the direction that Brynn had just headed. “We will be discussing this at a later date. Right now, I have a fiancée to get home safely so that we can cuddle up together and ride this storm out.”
Hallie clicked her tongue against her teeth. “I’m going to say goodbye to Reese and thank her for the help today.”
“What am I, chopped liver?” Sydney asked, not without some glee. She could feel keenly that Sydney was living for the fact that something was finally going on in Hallie’s life.
“Her help doesn’t come with conditions,” Hallie batted back as she turned toward the sitting room, where Reese was looking at the two of them like they’d lost their minds.
But if Hallie was being honest, she liked that there was something going on, too. And she was more than a little addicted to who it was going on with.
Darkness had fallen by the time Hallie was on her last few laps to finish snowblowing the inn’s parking lot.
The plow that they usually affixed to the truck hadn’t been hooked up before Greg had gotten injured.
Luckily, the snowblower that they used for walkways around the property was gassed up and ready to go.
She made a mental note to send Greg a get-well-soon gift, once she was back inside.
Which she hoped would be soon.
If she thought that she’d known what cold was earlier today on their twenty-minute walk home, she’d been sorely mistaken.
During her two-hour snowblowing extravaganza, which she’d have to do all over again in a few hours, her fingers had gone numb, whether her nose was still attached to her face was anyone’s guess, and she’d started pretending that she could breathe out her very visible puffs of air into specific shapes.
That last one was probably a sign that hallucinations had set in, but she was pretty pleased with the approximation of a penguin that she’d managed, anyway.
The only problem was that, as the hours had worn on outside, Hallie had done the absolute worst possible thing that she could do. She’d started thinking.
Too much, in fact.
The kind of thinking that made the simplicity and ease of the day with Brynn float away. In its place had settled a wild, skittering feeling that started to cause uneasiness instead of excitement to churn in her stomach.
It was like a stone was growing in her gut, and with each pass through the parking lot, it had gotten heavier.
Because Brynn Fitzpatrick, regardless of the moments that they’d shared today, was a force to be reckoned with. And everything she’d done for Hallie only reinforced that idea.
Brynn was a woman on the verge of, well, whatever it was that Brynn wanted out of this life.
An incredible person who’d already been through so much and was just starting to come into her own identity.
She was brave when it counted and pulled no punches to protect and support the people who she cared about.
And Hallie…
Well, she spent the majority of her existence avoiding conflict in her personal and romantic lives. All with the goal of insulating herself so that she never had to feel the sting of rejection or failure.
The realization hit her as she made her final turn with the snowblower, one last foot-wide stretch of white powder between her and the warm indoors.
With Brynn.
The prospect wasn’t nearly as enticing as it had felt when they’d been at the brewery, holding hands and making gooey eyes at one another, like the real world hadn’t existed.
Because, tragically, it did.
And in Hallie’s world, life happened around her, not to her. And on the off chance that someone waltzed into her sterile existence who could change it all, she, apparently, deluded herself just long enough to get into the precarious predicament that she found herself in now.
Self-sabotage at its finest. The Hallie Thatcher Special.
She and Brynn would probably never work. Not without Hallie being left to pick up the pieces of her crushing disappointment when Brynn decided that a small life wasn’t what she wanted.
It hadn’t been confirmed for her, since she didn’t have any IQ tests on hand, but Hallie was pretty sure that Brynn was a literal genius. Who was also gorgeous and funny and thoughtful.
To her own credit, Hallie wasn’t completely emotionally useless. She knew that Brynn saw something in her, too. That this push and pull between them could only happen when both sides were invested in what was happening.
But for how long?
How could Hallie ever be enough to make life in Stoneport worth it for someone like Brynn? She barely wanted to hang out with herself some days, so it wasn’t a far leap to assume the same must be true for other people.
It was definitely true for her family. Which was the demoralizing truth that bubbled to the surface whenever she went on this winding, unhealthy spiral.
She was so fucking tired. Physically. Emotionally. Mentally.