Chapter 14 #4
Hallie leaned into Brynn, taking a deep breath as she snuggled against her chest. “Just that simple?”
“Not many things in life are simple, but the way I feel about you is. I want you, Hallie. And just about the only thing that I’m sorry for is that I waited to spring that on you until you caught me masturbating.”
Hallie laughed and nuzzled in closer. She took a long inhale against Brynn’s chest before she leaned back, their stares meeting.
Hallie, like this, took Brynn’s breath away.
“It’s probably for the best. Who knows how long we would have circled around one another?
I mean, would you have made the first move? ”
Brynn tickled Hallie’s sides, which caused her to squeal and try to squirm away. It gave Brynn the upper hand as she deftly rolled Hallie on her back. She maneuvered herself on top, slotting their thighs together.
She was already addicted to hearing Hallie’s rushed exhale.
“I did make the first move,” Brynn argued. “I asked you to stay.”
“If we’re getting technical, I walked into the room. To comfort you, by the way. I thought that you were having a nightmare.”
Everything in Brynn’s body softened, as the moment went from sexy to sincere in the blink of an eye. It was probably for the best. They needed to take things slowly, even if all Brynn wanted to do was chase the feelings she’d experienced earlier.
Instead of pushing her thigh upward, into the apex of Hallie’s legs like she’d been fantasizing about only seconds ago—wanting to see the look on Hallie’s face, to hear the hitch in her breathing that it would elicit—she draped half of her body over Hallie’s, her ear nestled against her chest.
She listened to the steady thrum of Hallie’s heartbeat, letting it calm her. Or make her as calm as someone who’d just had their first orgasm could be.
As they lay together, Hallie’s hand finding its way to Brynn’s hair, brushing comfortingly against her temple, she wondered how anything could be better than this.
When Brynn woke up the next morning, Hallie wasn’t in bed next to her.
Brynn had slept like the dead. No nightmares. No waking up in a cold sweat. Just blissful comfort and peace. So much so, apparently, that she hadn’t even noticed Hallie slip out.
Blearily, she remembered Hallie mentioning that the parking lot would need to be plowed at least once more after the snow had finally stopped.
Which, as she looked out the window in her bedroom, had happened at some point. Close to two feet of snow blanketed the grass outside, painting the pine trees like a true wintry wonderland.
It was gorgeous and perfect, and Brynn knew, but didn’t care, that she was embodying every cliché about being a changed woman after a night of mind-blowing sex.
The very least she could do to thank Hallie for her part in that was to have a hot cup of coffee waiting for her when she came back inside. That was something a… friend would do. Or whatever they were.
She shrugged on a robe and padded through her bedroom, unable to stop the smile that had bloomed across her face.
Because Hallie was into her! And they’d talked about it and everything!
Sure, it had happened in a very unexpected way, but Brynn was never going to be sorry about that.
She wasn’t sure where the level of confidence that she’d displayed had come from, though.
Neither she nor Hallie were very overt people generally, but what they’d agreed on last night still rang true.
Who knew how long both of them would have agonized over ruining their friendship to push for something more?
But when Hallie had stepped into the room, it was like time had slowed down. Brynn had been desperate for her to come closer, to help her quell the ache that had been building inside her the longer they’d spent together.
When they’d come home from the brewery, Brynn had already been aware of a fluttering need in her center that had been begging for relief.
And when Hallie had walked into the room, it had sort of felt like fate.
Who was Brynn to resist the gods?
Her life was in a strange place right now, but it didn’t change how she felt about Hallie. What she wanted with her. She was wholly on board with whatever version of more Hallie was ready to give her.
That thought propelled her forward as she brushed her teeth and washed her face. Both acts were harder than usual because she couldn’t stop smiling.
She was practically floating when she finally opened the door into the living room, where she noticed Hallie over at the kitchen counter. All the buzzy, exhilarating feelings in Brynn’s stomach whirred to life. She crossed the room quickly, unable to keep any distance between them.
“Morning,” she breathed out at Hallie’s side at the same time that Hallie registered her presence. She looked down and frowned at the two coffee cups filled with steaming liquid. “I was going to make you coffee. Felt like the least I could do.”
She wasn’t embarrassed about what they’d done, but this morning, she wasn’t going to pretend that she wasn’t a little nervous. It was like she had a teenage crush, and it was all-consuming and overwhelmingly potent. But they were adults who shared an apartment, with no one to interrupt them.
Hallie looked so attractive, her cheeks splotched with color from the cold, and she was still wearing the beanie she must have had on outside. Plus, she was dressed in these adorable snow pants that had suspenders to hold them up.
“Checking out my fit?” Hallie asked as she snapped the suspenders away from her chest. When they snapped back, Brynn’s eyes focused like lasers on her chest. She’d never experienced want like this before, and she had to keep her hands at her sides to stop herself from touching Hallie.
They’d talked last night, but there was probably more to hammer out. She was serious when she’d told Hallie they’d go at whatever pace made her comfortable.
With that in mind… “Am I allowed to touch you?” Brynn asked before realizing how it sounded. “Like… platonically? Or, not platonically, but not, like, touch you, touch you.” Her face flamed crimson as she was confronted with just how little game she actually had.
Now that she knew what was at stake, she suddenly felt completely inept.
But just like every other time leading up to now, Hallie didn’t make her feel silly. “I appreciate how respectful you’re trying to be. It’s cute,” she said before touching Brynn’s nose softly with her cold finger.
“Yikes! Were you even wearing gloves?” Brynn said, unthinkingly grabbing Hallie’s hand and beginning to rub it between her own.
She was massaging Hallie’s fingers, trying to warm them up. With Hallie’s hand cupped in her own, she brought it up to her lips and blew warm breaths through the small hole she’d left.
Hallie’s nostrils flared, and her pupils blew wide. “Brynn.”
But Brynn couldn’t tell if it was a warning or a plea. She stopped using her mouth, but she didn’t let go of Hallie’s hands, which were still close to her lips. “Not okay?”
Hallie groaned. “I don’t really have a guidebook for this or anything. I’ve never slept with a friend who is also my roommate.” She looked at Brynn, smiling a little nervously herself. “Whom I also have feelings for.”
Nodding, Brynn took in her words, even as the thrill of hearing—again—that Hallie had feelings for her washed over her.
Because what Hallie was saying was completely fair. She shouldn’t have to do all the heavy lifting here, even if Brynn was going to let Hallie’s level of comfort guide them. “So do we need some rules? Or a framework or something for how to approach this situation?”
The idea of not being able to touch Hallie, something she’d already grown very comfortable with doing, wasn’t her favorite idea.
Especially not after how they’d touched each other last night.
But it was a small price to pay for trust and respect to grow.
Brynn could be good. She was a very rule-abiding person, after all.
“I don’t think we need to be too prescriptive, but some boundaries would probably be good.”
Not without effort, Brynn let go of Hallie’s hands and picked up one of the cups of coffee.
She knew it was for her since it was in her preferred mug.
It was one Hallie had made in grade school art class, with little rainbows and lightning bolts all over it.
Hallie knew Brynn liked it a lot, and Brynn tried not to let herself be too charmed by her thoughtfulness.
Or by the fact that, upon her moving in, Hallie had been gracious enough to give it up. Because who wouldn’t want to use it?
“Shall we take this serious conversation to the sofa?” Brynn asked, already heading that way. Halfway there, she stopped and turned around. “Or is sitting down not safe? It is a precursor to lying down, after all.”
Hallie laughed and walked over to the sofa. She sat down, her back against the arm, and took a sip of her coffee before she looked at Brynn through lidded lashes. “I’m not going to jump your bones, Brynn. I promise.”
“It’s not you that I’m worried about,” Brynn said, completely serious as she sat down next to Hallie, making sure even their feet weren’t touching.
She didn’t miss the shocked look she received in response. “Excuse me?”
Brynn took a long sip of her coffee before answering.
Honesty was probably the best policy. At the very least, it’d gotten them this far.
“I’m insanely attracted to you, Hallie. I told you that last night.
And it doesn’t mean that I’m going to pressure you into anything.
Quite the opposite. I am happy to go at whatever pace makes sense for you. ”
Hallie blinked once. Then again. Then she took another drink of her coffee, draining about half the cup. “Okay. Good to know.”
“So, what are you comfortable with? Or not comfortable with?” Brynn amended, pulling her legs up underneath her. She wished that she had a pen right now to write everything down.
She wasn’t holding her breath, though. It was very unlikely that being allowed to touch Hallie, at least in the way Brynn wanted, was on the table in any short-term scenario.
Brynn watched as Hallie bit her lip as she mulled the idea over. That was really unfair, as far as Brynn was concerned, since she herself had already had fantasies this morning of doing just that.
Truly, how did people live like this?
Finally, Hallie let it go with a gentle pop that Brynn felt low in her stomach. “Probably no more sex.”
“I’m going to need that to be binary. ‘Probably’ is not helpful to me,” Brynn responded. “And how do you define sex?”
Hallie groaned and rubbed at her temples with the hand not holding her coffee mug. “Are you trying to kill me, Brynn?” she said, anguish in her voice.
Brynn was trying to do the opposite of that! She just needed clarity so that she didn’t make Hallie uncomfortable. “I am of the belief that open and honest communication is paramount to a successful relationship. Not that we’re in a relationship,” she added quickly.
“I guess…” Hallie’s hand was now gesturing vaguely into the air as she tried to come up with a definition that was satisfactory. “Middle school rules? Nothing under the clothing? At least not until we figure out what’s going on between us.”
Nodding, Brynn sat up a little straighter. “We were obviously doing very different things in middle school, but I can go with that.”
That made Hallie laugh, which proved to be very distracting to Brynn, who was trying to focus on the conversation at hand. Her gaze slipped down to Hallie’s chest again, thinking about how badly she wanted to see her without clothing on.
“Brynn!” Hallie sounded like she was in actual pain, given the way she made Brynn’s name sound as much like a wail as a word.
“Are we adding ‘no looking’ to the list?” Brynn asked, her face flushed again as she dragged her stare back up to meet Hallie’s.
Brynn had never struggled to follow the rules. Especially not when something as important as Hallie’s comfort was at stake. But her mind and her body seemed to be acting in opposition right now. Really, she was trying her best.
After a beat, Hallie’s lips broke out into a smile. “It’s crazy that I think it’s just as sexy when you’re nervous as when you’re telling me how you want me to fuck you.”
It was like Hallie had just lit a match in her veins. “That’s not fair, Hallie. I am actually trying to be good. What was that?”
Hallie smirked, clearly pleased with herself, before she took another sip of her coffee.
But still, the rush that Brynn felt was like nothing she’d ever experienced before. For the first time in her life, she felt desired. Truly desired.
Letting that guide her, she plucked the coffee cup from Hallie’s hands, placing both mugs down on the coffee table. Then, she looked at Hallie with a wolfish smile, sitting up on her knees. “What are the rules on pre-work makeouts?”