Chapter 15
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
JADE
“When the sun kissed the horizon, he kissed me.” - Clara Foss, Painted Inferno
“Nothing looks out of the ordinary,” Dr. Bradshaw says as he moves the computer monitor to face me, showing me the results from my echocardiogram and EKG. “Is it just the palpitations that have gotten worse?”
I slowly nod my head. “My heart feels like it’s racing sometimes and I can feel it skipping beats.”
Dr. Bradshaw turns his attention back to the screen, clicking around with his mouse. “It’s been almost a year since your last Holter monitor, so let’s get you scheduled to have that put on. We’d want to check the electrical activity of your heart soon anyways.
He continues, “So let’s do the seven days, like the last time, that way we get a bigger picture of everything.” He turns to face me. “Have you thought anymore about taking medication? Having a prescription on hand, just to take when needed, is always an option.”
“Do you think it’s needed?”
“Hmm,” he murmurs, adjusting his glasses. “Let’s see what the holter monitor says first. If it is truly bothersome, we can try it regardless.”
I nod in agreement. Just then, my phone vibrates in my purse. “That works.”
“Okay, perfect. Stop by the front desk and they’ll get you on the schedule for the monitor and a follow up appointment after we have the results.”
“Thanks, Dr. Bradshaw,” I say, rising to my feet as he extends his hand to shake mine. He leads the way out into the hall, saying goodbye before he heads into another room.
I pull out my phone, seeing a message from Ellie as I make my way to the front desk.
Ellie
Dinner and drinks tonight?
I should head home and get back to work, but fuck it. I’ve been busting my ass with this book and quite frankly, I think I deserve a night off.
Jade
Tell me when and where and I’ll be there.
Ellie
Let’s meet at Harry’s Pub. Eight o’clock?
Jade
See you then!
I stop at the front desk and schedule an appointment for next week to get the monitor put on. It’s a simple thing that I’ve done many times before. That’s how they discovered the extra heartbeats and arrhythmia when I was a teenager.
It was determined to be nothing serious, although I have an annual cardiology appointment so they can keep an eye on things to make sure it doesn’t turn into something serious.
The sun shines brightly, warming my body through my puffy jacket as I head to my car in the parking lot. It’s already late in the afternoon, so I do have a little bit of time to kill before I’m supposed to meet Ellie.
I stop by the coffee shop on my way home, grabbing a pastry and a small drink to hold me over until later tonight. I know Ellie, and we’re definitely doing girl dinner if we’re meeting at Harry’s Pub.
They do have the best Caesar salads, truffle fries, and dirty martinis in all of Hillford.
Well, that’s debatable now that I’ve had a salad from The Ivory Table. They might have Harry’s beat for the best one in town.
My mind flickers to that night with Matteo as I pull into the garage at my apartment building. The way Matteo’s fingertips lingered, the way they felt skating across my skin. If he would have kissed me, I wouldn’t have stopped him.
I would have kissed him back.
We never said anything about changing the rules of our arrangement. Is it so wrong of me to imagine what it might feel like to have his mouth against mine? To have his hands roaming over my bare skin?
I haven’t been with someone in so long. I live alone. It’s only natural to feel lonely from time to time… right?
My phone vibrates again as I let myself into my apartment. My stomach flutters, but I don’t let myself look to see who it is until I’m in my bedroom.
Matteo
Sunny, I think I have a problem.
Jade
What’s that?
Matteo
I can’t seem to stop thinking about you.
A smile lifts my lips as I drop down onto my bed.
Jade
Why’s that a problem?
Matteo
Because Coach would be pissed if I hopped on a flight to come see you right now.
Jade
You know what my best friend Nicole always says?
Matteo
What’s that?
Jade
If he wanted to, he would.
I’m playing with fire and I can’t stop myself. I shouldn’t be taunting or tempting him, but he said it himself—his coach would be pissed.
Jade
I’m just kidding, I know you can’t do that.
Matteo
Are you saying you’d want me to, if I could?
Jade
It’s not an option, so it doesn’t really matter what I want.
I’m supposed to grab dinner with Ellie anyways.
The responses are flowing from my mind like an electrical current. I’m totally channeling Candy Stone energy right now. These are the exact things she would say.
Matteo
I have to get on the ice. I’ll be home late tonight. Send me your coffee order from Daily Drip and I’ll bring it over in the morning.
Jade
You don’t have to do that.
Matteo
I want to. Give me your order. That’s an order.
Jade
Bossy.
Matteo
You haven’t seen anything yet.
Stay out of trouble tonight, Sunny.
Jade
Always I’m a good girl.
Matteo
I bet you are…
Jade
Go take a cold shower, Ford.
He doesn’t respond, since he most likely had to go. A stupid grin lifts my lips anyways and I shake my head to myself, trying to ignore the heat that blooms in the pit of my stomach.
Maybe I need to follow my own damn advice…
“Oh my gosh, Jade, don’t turn around,” Ellie whispers, her eyes wide as they dart past me and then back to my face.
My brow furrows and without even trying it, I start to turn my head to look over my shoulder. “What?”
Ellie’s hand darts out and grabs my shoulder, turning me back to face her. “I just said don’t turn around.”
Her voice is barely audible due to the music playing in the bar, although I can hear her with how close she leans toward me. “I think I see Aiden standing over near the pool tables.”
My stomach falls, my eyes widening to match hers. “Aiden, Aiden?”
She bobs her head. “Yeah. Your Aiden.”
“He’s not mine,” I remind her, narrowing my eyes. “We broke up four years ago and have barely spoken since.” I grab my martini from the bar, gripping the stem and bringing it to my lips with haste. The liquor burns my throat as I down the rest of my drink. “What the hell is he doing here?”
Ellie’s eyes shift over to the corner, squinting as she stares back in the corner. “No idea. Looks like he’s here with two other guys.”
I snort. “That’s surprising there’s no women with him.”
“You said Matty’s out of town, so he can’t be here for a game.”
I wrack my brain for a reason and come up empty handed. “No. It’s weird that he’s here.”
“Maybe he’s here for you.”
“Oh my gosh, no,” I laugh, shaking my head. “I would never get back with him.”
Ellie arches a perfectly sculpted brow. “Hmm.” A smirk pulls on her lips. “I can’t imagine why that is.”
I stare at her. “Maybe because he cheated on me, God knows how many times?”
“That’s definitely a reason why not to.” She tilts her head to the side, resting her arm on the back of her seat. “I’m sure it has nothing to do with Matteo Ford though, right?”
Ellie’s smile falters just as I’m about to respond, and her eyes shift to the side again. “Shit, he’s coming this way.”
Panic wells inside me. “What do I do? I don’t want to see him?”
“Too late,” Ellie mumbles as she purses her lips and looks past me. “He saw me and I think he saw you, too.”
Fuck me.
I turn in my seat to face the bar, pushing my empty glass toward the edge of the counter. If I can get the bartender’s attention, I can pay my tab and be on my merry way.
There’s movement to my right. The seat next to me that was empty? Yeah, it’s occupied now.
“Well, if it isn’t Jade Wilson.”
My spine stiffens. I draw my shoulders back and look to my right. “Oh, hey, Aiden.” The last time I spoke to Aiden was a few years ago, six months after we broke up. He called me drunk, begging for me to take him back.
He called me the next day to apologize, claiming he didn’t mean it. I guess at this point, we’ll never know if he did or not.
“How are you?” he asks. Ellie blows out a breath as I turn to face my ex-boyfriend. His hazel eyes rake over my body. “You look good.”
“I’m great, actually.” I smile. I have no animosity toward him now. It was years ago. It’s water under the bridge. We were both young and people make mistakes.
With that being said, I would still never consider dating him again.
“How are you? What brings you to Hillford?”
Aiden takes a sip of his beer, nodding his head as he swallows. “I’m good. I’m here for a cousin’s wedding this weekend. We have a few days off from games, so it worked out.”
“That’s great,” I say, my brow furrowing. “I don’t remember you having any family here in Hillford.”
Aiden laughs quietly. “Well, we haven’t spoken in a while, J. He moved here last year with his fiancée.” He pauses, tilting his head to the side as his gaze roams across my face. “A lot can change in a few years.”
“Yeah, it can,” I agree, nodding.
Ellie bumps her arm against mine, gaining my attention. “I’m going to go to the bathroom. If the bartender comes over, I’m ready to go if you are.” She glares at Aiden on the other side of me.
“He’s harmless, El. I’m not as stupid as I was before.”
“Okay. I’ll be right back.”
Aiden clicks his tongue as I turn back around, looking for the bartender. “I see Ellie still hates me.”
“Well, I’m pretty sure all my friends do.” I give him the fiercest side eye that I’d imagine Candy Stone would throw at someone. “You did fuck me over.”
His body sags, an exasperated sigh leaving him, just as I catch the bartender’s attention. “My friend and I would both like to close out our tabs,” I say to her after she comes over.
“Of course. I’ll take care of it now.” She looks at Aiden as he dips his head and rakes his fingers through his hair. “Everything okay?” she asks me.
“Yeah, yeah. We’re good.”
She looks at Aiden once more, back at me and nods before heading back across the bar.
“Jade…” His voice trails off for a second. I turn to look at him. “I’m sorry. I was a fucking idiot. Those girls never meant anything and I shouldn’t have cheated on you. I was young and didn’t know what I wanted, but I really did love you. I swear I did.”
Jesus, this is like the same speech he gave a few years ago. He must be looking for a quick fuck while he’s in town. He knows I live in Hillford. Hell, he has my number and I never hear from him.
“You know, after we first broke up, I was a mess. I was so upset. I couldn’t figure out what I did wrong or why you didn’t want me. Why the hell I wasn’t good enough for you, but they were.”
Aiden opens his mouth to speak and I lift my hand to silence him. The bartender comes back and eyes us both as she sets down my card and Ellie’s, along with the receipts for us to sign.
I grab the pen, sign my name on the paper and tuck my card in my wallet. “I don’t think I ever really loved you.”
Aiden’s eyes go wide. “What?”
“I was in love with the idea of you. With the version of you I created inside my mind.” I shake my head at him, not giving him any room to get any other words in.
I know Aiden. He’s going to want to defend himself.
“The person you are and the person I convinced myself that you were are not the same one.”
“I don’t buy it,” he argues, taking another sip of his beer. He’s irritated now. “You loved me. I know you did.”
“I loved the picture I painted of you inside my head.”
Ellie reappears at my side. “Are you ready to go?”
“Yep.” I hand her the pen to sign her receipt as I get up from my seat. I look back at Aiden. “Bye, Aiden.”
“Jade, wait,” he says, turning on his barstool. “Come on. You don’t have to be like that.”
“There’s no reason for me to stay and talk with you. There’s no reason for us to talk again.” I stare at him, my face void of any emotion. “There is nothing between us. We’re not friends. We never will be. I’d like to keep you in my past, where you belong.”
Aiden’s pissed now. He stares at me, his face contorting in anger. Instead of waiting for him to say anything, I spin on my heel, striding toward the exit with Ellie in tow.
I will not waste my time entertaining or engaging with that asshole anymore.
“Are you okay?” Ellie asks me as we step onto the sidewalk in front of the bar. “He’s such an asshole.”
I am okay. I’ve been okay for years. Seeing him doesn’t bother me like I once thought it would. If anything, he ruined my dinner. There’s no sadness, no anger. I’m just mildly annoyed now. “Yeah, I’m good.”
“I’m proud of you, Jade. You handled that like a bad bitch.” A smirk tugs on her lips. “You were totally Candy Stone in there.”
“Come on,” I laugh, linking my arm through hers. “Let’s go before he ends up coming outside looking for us.”
She laughs, falling in step with me. “He’d be making a grave mistake. I didn’t wear the proper shoes to kick his ass,” she says, lifting her leg to show her heel. “Fuck, I hate men sometimes. If Matty ever acts like that turd did, I’ll step on his throat with these.”
A string of laughter falls from me. “It’s not like that with him and me. We’re just friends.”
Ellie chuckles, shaking her head. “You know that, like, never works out, right?”
“This is different,” I argue, adjusting my purse on my shoulder. “It will. He doesn’t do relationships and I don’t do athletes.”
Ellie snorts. “You could. He’s definitely fuckable.”
My chest tightens, my stomach knotting with jealousy. “Friends with benefits is the furthest I’d go.”
I know better than to get romantically involved with someone like Matteo Ford… physically, however, is a different story.
Ellie’s laughter dies and she squeezes my arm. “Just be careful,” Ellie says softly.
I give her a small smile. “I will.”
I know she’s just being a good friend and I appreciate her concern. There’s nothing for either of us to worry about. I’m too guarded to make a mistake like I did in the past.
I know better than to give my heart to someone like him.
And Matteo Ford’s heart isn’t up for grabs.