Chapter 17
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
JADE
“It was a mistake, yet it wasn’t. It was exactly what I wanted.” - Clara Foss, Painted Inferno
Matteo
I’m here.
My stomach rolls with anticipation as I nervously tuck my hair behind my ears. I’m already on the elevator, heading down to the lobby, although I’m not going to tell him that.
I don’t know why I told him eight o’clock earlier. It’s after dinner, yet before bed. It felt like a middle ground at the time and now I’m overthinking it.
Jade
Be down in a minute.
If I was inviting him over for sex, it definitely would have been later than eight at night.
My hair falls in long waves down the center of my back and I collect it, pulling it over my left shoulder as I walk across the foyer. Matteo stands just outside the door, looking as good as he always does. He smiles when he sees me and I push open the door, holding it for him.
His hair is a bit damp and the faint woodsy smell drifts past me as he walks inside. “Hey, Sunny.”
“Hey,” I say softly, pausing to swallow over the nervousness that wells inside of me. “How did your training sessions go?”
“Good, good,” he says, falling into step with me as we head back over to the elevator. “How about you? Did you get a lot of writing done?”
“I did,” I nod as the doors slide open and we slip inside. Matteo moves to the panel on the wall to press the button for my floor.
He turns around to face me. His gaze drops down to my feet, taking in my body before finding his way back to my eyes. The oxygen in the elevator car ceases to exist. My lungs constrict and he takes a step forward, closing a foot of distance between us.
“Did you work through whatever issue you were stuck on?”
I tilt my head to the side. “If I did, do you think I’d still be wanting a creative meeting?”
A ghost of a smile dances across his lips, mischief passing over his hooded gaze. “Yes.”
Heat spreads through me. “Bold assumption.”
“So, you didn’t then?” He takes another step closer. There’s less than a foot separating us now. My back rests against the wall.
“No, I did,” I admit, my voice low, tipping my head back to look up at him.
Matteo closes the remaining distance, caging me in as he plants his hands on the wall on either side of me. His tongue darts out, immediately capturing my attention. I swear I stop breathing.
My cardiologist is going to wonder what the hell happened when he looks at the way my heart’s beating.
“So, why am I here then, sunny?”
My eyes flash back to his. “Because I want you here.”
He groans, low and guttural. His nostrils flare, pupils dilating as his face dips down to mine, his lips a breath away from mine. “What the fuck is it about elevators?”
The bell dings and the car dips as it stops on my floor. Matteo’s still caging me in as the doors slide open. A throat clears behind him. Matteo blinks. Irritation flashes in his eyes and he blows out a breath of frustration as he pushes off the wall.
“Sorry to interrupt,” Harry, my neighbor, says. He meets my eyes. “Oh, hey Jade.” He looks over his shoulder at Matteo, who’s waiting for me in the hall. “Everything okay?”
“Hey, Harry,” I say in a rush, heat spreading across my cheeks. “Everything’s great. This is my friend, Matteo.” I shuffle out of the elevator as Harry gets on. “Have a good night!”
“Was that your neighbor?” Matteo asks, his voice low as I walk past him.
“Yeah,” I say, sliding my key back into the lock on my door. “He’s lived next to me for a few years now.” We’re not necessarily close or even friends, but we’re friendly enough to look out for one another.
Matteo steps closer behind me. He’s not touching me, but the heat from his body slams into mine. His breath is warm as he brings his lips to my ear. “Are you fucking him?”
My breath catches in my throat and I’m momentarily caught off guard. Is he jealous? I push open the door, uncertainty and intrigue wrapping around my spine. Matteo walks into my apartment, shutting and locking the door behind him.
“What did you say?”
We both turn to face one another. He kicks off his shoes, slowly removing that stupid bomber jacket he’s always wearing.
It shouldn’t look that good on him.
“You heard me,” he growls, stalking closer. He stops when his toes reach mine. “Are you and your neighbor fucking?”
“That’s none of your business.” The sentence does not come out as clipped as I imagined it would in my head.
“No?” His fingers slip beneath my jaw, tilting my head back. “It’s not my business?” A shiver trails down my spine as he slides his fingertips along my jawline, slowly trailing down the side of my throat.
“Your body tells me otherwise, Sunny.” His eyes darken, the muscle in his jaw tightening. “Do I need to worry about him?”
“No,” I breathe with a subtle shake of my head. “It’s never been like that with him. We’re not even really friends, just acquaintances.”
“That’s good,” he draws, his eyes flicking down to my lips.
“Why does it matter?”
His eyes shift back to mine. “Because I don’t like to share.”
Oh my god.
My heart stutters inside my chest. He slides his hand around my neck, cradling the back of my head. His free hand lifts, his fingertips grazing against my skin as he brushes the hair from my face. Anticipation hangs in the air and I swear, my heart is going to break through my ribcage.
My breath catches in my throat. “What are you doing, Matteo?”
His eyes slowly search mine. “What I should have done earlier.”
His face dips and my eyelids flutter shut. My heart’s a mess, pounding against my ribcage. I reach for him, my hands gripping his white T-shirt. He pauses, his lips a fraction of an inch from mine, his warm minty breath fanning across my mouth.
“Do you want me to stop?” he murmurs, his lips brushing mine.
I inhale sharply. We’re crossing that line we drew in the sand. And once we cross it, I don’t know if there’s any way we can come back from it.
“No,” I exhale, tugging him closer. I don’t care about what happens after this moment. All I know is I want him. I want this. “Don’t stop.”
He lets out a soft breath, his lips grazing mine. He pauses for a beat, my eyebrows tugging together as his mouth lingers, unmoving against mine. His fingertips dig into my skin, as if he’s grasping for his slipping self-control.
And then it’s gone.
He groans, the sound wrapping around my brain, sliding down my spine, and his mouth crashes into mine. His lips are hot and soft and he kisses me with an intensity that has my core melting. His mouth melts into mine, lips moving, tasting and teasing.
My hands slide around his torso and his left hand falls down to my waist, pulling me flush against his solid body.
“Goddamn, Sunny,” he moans against my mouth. His tongue slides along the seam of my lips and I part them, letting him in.
The kiss deepens. His tongue dances with mine, the heat spreading along the nerves throughout my body. I’m on fire and he’s the flame. His fingers tangle in my hair, his other hand grips my hip.
I slide my hands down the sides of his torso, feeling his taut muscles beneath the thin layer of cotton between us. He moans into my mouth, rolling his hips as he presses his erection against me.
My fingers twitch with the urge to reach between us and grip him. I want to feel him in my hand. I want to feel the length and girth of his hard cock.
He presses his leg between mine, using it to push me farther into the apartment. At some point, we spin around, so I’m the one guiding him. With the open concept, we make it into the living room with minimal damage to anything in my home.
We reach the couch. Matteo spins me back around, his arms snaking around my lower back as he eases me down onto the couch. He follows me, hovering above as he stares down at me.
“Fuck, you’re beautiful.” His voice is hoarse, thick with need and my heart skips a beat, my stomach fluttering with his words. His mouth crashes back into mine, stealing the air from my lungs as he kisses me deeply. Our tongues meet, dancing together as our lips move.
I’m so wrapped up in him, so lost in the moment. If I had a choice, I don’t think I’d ever come up for air again.
Matteo Ford can never be anything more than this to me, and I know that. I knew that when we came up with our arrangement.
He’s simply fulfilling his end of the agreement and I’m doing it for the plot. This is only research. It’s burning inspiration.
It’s just a deal.
He kisses me until my lungs are screaming for oxygen. His mouth leaves mine, both of us sucking in deep breaths as we struggle to fill our lungs with something other than each other.
“Jade.” Matteo breathes my name as if it’s the only word his brain can formulate. “Sunny, baby, we gotta stop.”
Sunny, baby.
I don’t let myself get caught up on the words that fall from his swollen lips. I stare up at him, my hands still linked together around the back of his neck. “Says who?”
“Do you want me to fuck you?”
Every single syllable vibrates through my body. He grinds his hips against mine, his hard cock pressing between my legs. I think I might fucking explode.
“Yes.”
His eyes slowly search mine. His face is flush and his chest rises and falls with every shallow, ragged breath that slips from him. “Not tonight.”
My stomach sinks and embarrassment heats my neck. “Why not?”
What did I do wrong?
His throat bobs. “I don’t want you to regret it.”
Words fail me for a second as I’m caught off guard. “Wha—”
He shakes his head. “We’re caught up in the moment. You know what I want, obviously,” he murmurs, his cock throbbing against me. “I need you to make the decision with a clear head.”
I stare at him for a moment. My eyebrows cinch together. What the hell is he talking about? He’s supposed to be a fuck boy. This kind of thing is supposed to be exactly what he likes.
“You want me to take some time and think about whether or not I actually want to sleep with you before I do it?”
“Yes,” he says without hesitation, dipping his chin. “If we fuck, there’s no going back to just this, Sunny. You’re under my skin. You’re in my fucking head. I’ve had a taste of you and once I get to devour you, I can’t promise it won’t change things between us.”
My throat constricts. “Change things in what way?”
A smirk tugs on his lips. “In the way that I can’t be around you without wanting to be inside you.”
“What if the sex sucks?”
The smirk slowly fades from his face. His eyes burrow holes into my soul. “I’m afraid of the opposite.”
“We never said we couldn’t be friends with benefits, you know,” I remind him, pushing my fingers through his hair along the nape of his neck. “It doesn’t come with strings.”
“I don’t like strings,” he says in a hushed voice as he drags his thumb across my bottom lip. “I don’t want you to get attached because I can’t give you any more than that. I told you, I don’t do relationships. I don’t do love.”
A chuckle sounds in my throat. “I never said I wanted any of that with you, Matteo. You’re not my type.”
He lifts a brow. “The way your body responds to me tells me otherwise.”
“I’ve been abstinent for the last year. My body’s desperate for any kind of touch.” A slow smile drifts across my lips. “Maybe Harry would be up to being more than just neighbors…”
“Don’t test me, Jade.” Matteo pushes his thumb past my lips, pressing it into my mouth.
I close my lips around it, cradling his thumb with my tongue as I suck on it.
He moans, his eyes dark as he grips my jaw with his fingers.
“If you want someone to touch you, someone to make you feel good, you call me. Not your fucking neighbor. Not anyone else.”
He pulls his thumb from my mouth.
“Does that mean you’ll fuck me tonight?”
He holds my face, tipping my chin up as his mouth lowers to mine. “No,” he groans against my lips. “This is all you get tonight.”
“Not fair,” I pout, not kissing him back at first.
“Life’s not fair, Sunny.” He nips at my lips. “Get used to it.”
His tongue pushes back into my mouth, tangling with mine as he threads his fingers in my hair and drains the oxygen from my lungs. I don’t need Matteo Ford to protect me from any regret. There’s nothing about anything with him that I could possibly regret—even if it can never be more than this.