Chapter 18
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
MATTEO
“She had a freckle in her right eye, hidden amongst the shimmering hues of gold and green.” - Julian Hart, Painted Inferno
It’s been four days since I last saw Jade.
“When can I see you again?”
She bites back a grin, tucking her hair behind her ears. “I’ll call you.”
Four days since I finally kissed her.
My brows lift and I breathe out a laugh as I pull her back to me. “This is fun for you, isn’t it?”
“You started it.” She pushes up onto her toes, her lips finding mine in a soft kiss before she swiftly pulls away. “Two can play this game, Playboy.”
Four days since I asked her if she wanted me to fuck her.
I release her, a smirk tugging on my lips. “I’ll win.”
“We’ll see.” She winks, closing the door before I get the chance to slip back into her apartment.
And I can’t stop replaying that night on repeat in my mind.
“Wake the fuck up, Ford!” Cross barks from behind me as I fumble an easy pass in the neutral zone. I shake my head, my legs pushing. I am awake, that’s the problem. I’ve realized every fuck up I’ve had on the ice all game. It’s been four days and I haven’t heard a single word from Jade.
I can’t text her, not when she said she’d call me. I didn’t think she’d actually call, but I didn’t think it would be radio silence.
I didn’t think I’d be this damn affected by it, either.
I’m a step behind when I get possession of the puck again. I lose control of it at the blue line. It does a weird bounce move, flopping over the blade of my stick and the winger on the other team grabs it and starts racing toward our defensive zone.
“Fuck!”
My blades cut into the ice as I quickly stop and push off to head after him in the opposite direction.
I lose an edge and fall a few strides behind him.
Cross and Volkov are both beat. The shot flies past our goalie and they score.
They celebrate, we deflate. The energy feels like it did when we were on our losing streak.
The horn feels louder than normal. The sound rings inside my ears as I skate back over to the bench, filing on after Theo and Shaw.
“The fuck you doing out there tonight? Are you trying out to be a figure skater or something?”
I cut my eyes at Theo. “Fuck off.”
“No, seriously,” he presses, lifting his eyebrows. “You pulled a little twirl move in the zone. Judges gave it a 9.2. Impressive and artistic.”
Cam shakes his head, leaning forward. “I don’t know. The technical score might put it lower than that.”
What the hell is this? I cut my eyes at both of them. “I lost an edge.”
“Hence the 9.2 score instead of a 10,” Theo muses, rolling his eyes.
“Still feels like too high of a score,” Shaw chimes in.
My lips part, my rebuttal on my tongue with anger simmering when Coach cuts in.
“Ford,” he barks my name. I meet his eyes and he looks less than pleased. “Get your head in the fucking game.”
I give him a curt nod, feeling his disappointment mixing with my own. I prop my elbows on my knees, dropping my face down into my gloves. I can’t get my head in the game because it’s still in Jade Wilson’s apartment.
Shaw elbows me on my other side. “You heard him. We need you.”
“Yeah, I know.”
Theo shrugs. “You’re overthinking shit again. I thought you were past this?”
Yeah, so did I.
Jade’s supposed to be a calculated, controlled distraction. Not one that’s derailing my ability to perform on the ice.
The second shift isn’t any better. I miss another pass. I hesitate. My movements are delayed. Even when I’m not thinking about her, I still can’t get my brain to engage.
I try to get the puck out of the zone. They get a shot in from the point. Cross blocks it and it changes direction, just at the right angle for one of their wingers to tip it in.
Gray slams his stick against the ice. My stomach sinks as I skate back to the bench. That’s three goals that were my fault so far. I sit down on the bench, my eyes flicking up to the jumbotron.
3-1.
“You need different skates?” Theo tilts his head to the side, squinting his eyes. “Or maybe a sequin dress?”
I grab my bottle, squirting water into my mouth before I turn it and squirt water at his face. “I’ll fight you, Simmons.”
“Won’t be much of a fight,” Shaw quips, rolling his eyes. “Matty’s too distracted thinking about what his costume might look like.”
The muscle in my jaw twitches. “I’ll fight you too, Shaw.”
Theo arches a brow. “Jeez, we’re your best friends. What has you ready to fight us both?”
I stare at him, irritation rolling over me. “Neither of you are helping.”
I have no one to blame or be irritated with other than myself. I shouldn’t be letting this bother me like this.
I don’t know why I haven’t heard from her yet.
“Neither are you,” Shaw snorts. “You were doing so well last month. What happened?”
Theo looks at Shaw. “There’s another period left. Maybe he’ll turn it around.”
It’s wishful thinking because the third period only gets worse.
Coach is short shifting me and when I finally get the opportunity to shoot, I fuck it up. I get a rebound shot while the goalie’s still in the left side of the net. Half the damn thing is open to me and what do I do?
I shoot high and wide, sending it over the net and into the glass. The crowd groans, my shoulders sag, and Coach calls me off the ice. No one bothers to say anything to me on the bench. I don’t blame them. I deserve the silence after the shit game I’ve played.
Coach benches me for the rest of the period. I can’t blame him for it. I’ve been nothing but a liability on the ice tonight.
In the last two minutes, Coach pulls the goalie and sends five skaters out instead.
They end up in the other team’s zone, applying the pressure and Theo ends up sneaking in a goal.
Coach sends one of our other wingers, White, back out onto the ice, putting us back at full strength.
The energy is still off, even if everyone’s buzzing from our second goal, and we end up losing the game by one.
“You had half the net,” Theo says quietly, pursing his lips as we’re sitting in the dressing room. “You had plenty of time. You had a clear shot.”
“Hell, he could have done a full routine before taking a shot,” Shaw chimes in.
I close my eyes, turning away from them as I strip off my gear. “Can you both please stop?” I mutter, letting out a deep, exasperated sigh.
“What has you all out of sorts?” Theo questions me as I turn back around and sit down. “I thought Jade was distracting you in a good way, not a bad one.”
“Yeah,” I huff, shaking my head. “Me too.”
“Shit, so it is her,” he says, scooting closer as Shaw busies himself with his skates. “What happened?”
I rake my hand through my damp, sweaty hair. “I went to her house four nights ago. I haven’t heard from her since.”
“Oh shit.” Theo’s eyes widen. “Did anything happen?”
Shaw’s head pops up, eyebrows lifted as he looks between us.
“We kissed, but nothing more,” I admit, letting out another breath. I don’t tell him I asked her if she wanted me to fuck her. He doesn’t need to know that. “She said she’d call me and I haven’t heard from her.”
Shaw laughs loud. “Dude. You’re out here shitting the bed on a whole game because you haven’t heard from her?”
“I didn’t try to. I just don’t know if I did something wrong or why she hasn’t texted me.
” I pause, playing the night over again in my head for the thousandth time.
Is it because I stopped anything from happening between us?
I thought it was the right thing to do, but what if I went and fucked up any chance with her?
Maybe she realized I’m not worth it, decided I’m not worth the trouble. Sleeping together changes things whether we want it to or not. I’m decent at pretending, but maybe she isn’t.
“Just text her,” Shaw says, shaking his head at me. “It’s been what? Four days? That’s plenty of time to say something to her without being a weirdo.”
“He’s right.” Theo nods, bobbing his head eagerly. “If I were you, I’d just say something.”
“I don’t know,” I say, pursing my lips. They might be right. I’ve been letting this occupy too much space inside my brain. The worst thing that happens is she tells me to fuck off.
And then I’m fucked without my good luck charm…
“You know what figure skaters do?” A smirk breaks out across Theo’s lips as he leans closer. “They commit. You don’t. You panic.”
I groan, shoving his shoulder. “Theodore Simmons, I swear to—”
“Shut up,” he laughs, shoving me back. “Stop dancing around and just text her already.”
I let out a breath, my chest deflating as I stand up and grab my phone. “Fine, I’ll do it.” I open our messaging thread and my stomach flips when I see her name on the screen. “Wait, she texted me earlier.”
Sunny
You looked like shit tonight.
A smile tugs on my lips. Theo rises to his feet, grabbing for my phone.
“What’d she say?” He shifts to the side of me, laughing as sees her message over my shoulder. “She’s not wrong.”
I move away from him, rolling my eyes as I type out a response.
Matteo
I know. My head’s elsewhere.
Sunny
Where’s it at?
Matteo
Your place.
Sunny
Come by tonight and get it.
My stomach flutters, my heart hammering harder.
Matteo
Yeah?
I haven’t heard from you in four days, Sunny.
Sunny
Maybe I was trying to play hard to get.
Matteo
How’d that work out?
Sunny
Not well, since I caved and texted you.
My palms itch and–fuck–I want to see her. I need to see her.
Matteo
I can’t stop fucking thinking about you.
Sunny
Yeah?
Matteo
Yeah. It’s becoming a problem.
It’s fucking me up. It’s making me fuck up.
Sunny
So, what do we do about it?
Matteo
I need to get you out of my system.
Just once…
Sunny
Do you think that will fix your problem?
Matteo
Yes.
Sunny
Come by tonight.
Holy shit.
Matteo
I’ll be there in an hour.
My heart races and for a moment, I forget I’m in the same room with my teammates.
“Did she ever say anything about reading one of her books?” Shaw adds in.
Theo whips his head to the side. “You’re the worst at reading the room.”
Shaw shrugs. “He never said anything about it.”
I lock my screen, clearing my throat and tucking my phone into my front pocket. “She said we can read one for Cross’ book club.”
“Yes!” Shaw pumps his fist. He looks at me, cocking an inquisitive eyebrow “What’d she say just now?”
I swallow hard, ignoring the warmth building in the pit of my stomach. “She told me to come by.” I look back and forth between both of them. “I don’t want to hear a single word out of either of you.”
“Hey, if it helps you get your groove back,” Theo says with a shrug.
“We need you distracted in the way only she can provide,” Shaw adds with a wink
“I hate you both,” I mutter, shaking my head as I head for the washroom to take the fastest shower of my entire life.
I’ve waited four days for Jade to reach out.
I’m not wasting another damn second.