7. Sawyer
SAWYER
It takes everything in me not to get in the back of that ambulance, but I have a good crew, and I know they’ll take care of her.
RJ drives up in my truck minutes after the ambulance takes off, and he hustles over.
I lift a hand. “She’s fine. Possible concussion or broken nose. She lost a bit of blood from the nosebleed, but she’ll be fine.”
“Shit. Jonah?”
“How did you—”
“This isn’t the first time she’s gotten hurt. Her late husband was really good at calming him down, and his meltdowns have been more frequent since he passed.” He pulls out his phone and taps out a text. “Summer’s gonna head over to the hospital with the moms.”
What am I doing? The plan was to help with a house reno, but this is way more than that. “I’m in over my head here, man. Helping with the house stuff is easy, but Raven…” I trail off, unsure how much to share.
“Raven?” he pushes.
“It’s clear she doesn’t want me around, and she’s got a lot going on. I want to help her, but I don’t know if she wants that.”
“I love my sister, but she’s stubborn as fuck.”
“You’re telling me. But I dunno if I’m comfortable forcing my way into her life. She seems pretty guarded about people in her space.”
He walks over to my truck, lowering the tailgate as he pulls out my toolbox. “Well, she’s not here now, so she can’t stop us.”
“Are you sure?”
“She could use someone like you in her life.”
“I told you, I’m terrible with women.”
RJ cocks an eyebrow. “I think you were just terrible with Jocelyn. I’ve dealt with her a little, planning playdates for Summer’s daughter, and she’s not the easiest person to get along with. Why do you think they always want to hang at our house?”
I want to believe him, but the anxiety in my head is shouting louder, telling me that I’ll never be good enough for a woman as amazing as Raven.
Shoving the toolbox against my chest, he gives me a pleading look. “It’s for the kids.”
“Fuck, man. You know I have a soft spot for the pencil wizard.”
RJ tilts his head in confusion.
“Tommy is always forgetting a pencil for class, and apparently Jonah sits behind him and gives him one every day. I had no clue they were friends.”
“This town is small enough, and there’s only one school. It was bound to happen.”
He brushes past me as he walks into the house, and I trail behind him. It’s oddly quiet. “Jonah. McKenna,” RJ calls for them.
McKenna bounds down the stairs, her eyes lighting up when she sees RJ. “Did you bring Lana?”
“Sorry, she’s at home with the boys. I think they were headed to Lucy’s for a playdate.”
She glances at me. “Jane?”
I shake my head. “She’s at her mom’s. But your mom said you’re the one who called 911? You were really brave.”
McKenna shrugs like it’s no big deal. I’m curious how many times she’s lived through a situation like this with her brother that this doesn’t faze her. “Where’s Mom?”
RJ takes a step toward her. “She’s getting her nose checked out. So we’re gonna be hanging out with you for a bit.”
Jonah’s footsteps clunk down the stairs as he emerges, head buried in his tablet, wearing sunglasses and earphones. He looks between us before removing his headphones. “Are you here to fix the sun?”
“Yeah, little man.” I set down the toolbox. “Where do you need it darker?”
“Will it be loud?” Jonah asks.
“It shouldn’t be. I can probably attach the curtains with my screwdriver, so I don’t have to use the drill.”
I bend down and grab a couple of tools from the toolbox, then glance at RJ. “Do you know if she has curtains already?”
“She does,” McKenna says, walking off. “Follow me.”
RJ takes off after her as I turn to Jonah. “So where are we doing this?”
His head is tilted down, and I can’t see his eyes behind his sunglasses. “My room.” His voice is flat.
“Lead the way, pencil wizard.”
A small smile creases his face as he turns, and I follow him up the stairs.
RJ and I get to work, hanging up the curtains as Jonah watches us from his bed.
“How come you show up at our house every time we call 911?” Jonah asks, never looking up from his tablet.
“I’m a first responder. When there’s an emergency, me or my crew will be dispatched to the scene.”
“Are you the boss?”
“I am.”
“So you’re the most important firefighter?”
RJ chuckles beside me, and I shoot him a warning glance. “I may be in charge, but everyone on my crew is important.”
“But if there was a big fire, they’d always send you, right?” Jonah asks.
I nod. “Since Chestnut Mountain Fire Department is a small crew, I often go out on calls since I serve as the incident commander. It’s not every call, mainly the big ones.”
Jonah is silent for several minutes as we move to the other window.
“Why do firefighters all have mustaches?”
“I don’t have a mustache,” RJ says over his shoulder.
“Is it cuz you’re a baby firefighter?”
I choke on my laughter as RJ clears his throat. “It’s called a rookie, or probie.”
“Mom says you’re a baby firefighter.”
“Of course she does.” RJ smiles as he holds the curtain rod while I secure it in place.
I speak to Jonah over my shoulder as I work. “Firefighters often have mustaches because it’s the only kind of facial hair we’re allowed to have. We have to wear oxygen masks sometimes, and having a beard can affect the seal on the mask.”
RJ leans over, lowering his voice. “When he’s interested in a topic, he hyperfixates on it. Thanks for answering his questions.”
“Have you ever gotten hurt in a fire?” Jonah asks, face still glued to his tablet.
My eyes dart to RJ as I contemplate how honest to be. “I’ve been in some pretty dangerous situations, but I’m always safe. We have protocols in place that we all follow for safety.”
“Is that what you teach at fire safety school?”
“A little. That’s more about how to be safe in your home. Do you have a fire safety plan?”
“We did in our old home. Uncle RJ said it’s important.”
“I swear I didn’t put him up to that,” RJ whispers.
“What about in this house? How would you escape a fire in here?” I ask.
Jonah looks up from his tablet. “We don’t have a plan.” He looks at RJ. “We need a plan.” There’s an edge to his voice, and I instantly want to wrap him in a hug.
RJ hands me the level and nods over his shoulder, indicating that he’s going to help Jonah. I watch as RJ approaches him, sitting close to him on the floor without touching him. “How’s the brightness?” he asks, deflecting.
Jonah’s chest rises rapidly as he pulls off his glasses, eyes darting around the room. “We need a plan,” he mutters.
I tighten the remaining screws and set my screwdriver in the open toolbox.
“Okay, let’s make a plan, then,” RJ says.
Walking over, I crouch in front of them. “First, we need a map of the house. Do you think you could draw one?”
Jonah nods, grabbing a notebook and some colored pencils. He plops back down in front of me as RJ shoots me an appreciative glance.
The amount of care and precision Jonah puts into his drawing is incredible, mapping out the furniture in each room from memory. It almost looks to scale.
“You’re really good at that.” I point to his map as he flips the page to start on the second floor. Once he finishes each level of the house, he looks at me as if waiting for my approval.
“I drew all the doors and windows, including anything that might be blocking the path. We need two exits in every room.”
“You also need a meeting place once you get outside. What about the big rock in front of the house?” I suggest.
Jonah blinks up at me. “The one that looks like a tombstone?”
“It does kinda look like that, doesn’t it?”
He continues, almost talking over me. “We need a new fire extinguisher. We should also check the fire alarms in this house. And we need to practice the escape plan, except we can’t because we need to crawl, and the floors downstairs hurt my knees.”
“I’m going to help with that.” Well, I will if his mom lets me.
“Do you do fire drills at the station?”
“We do. We practice all kinds of different safety drills,” I confirm.
“That’s good.”
“It sounds like you know a lot about fire safety,” I prod.
He nods.
“So if you know so much, you know how dangerous it was to start that fire.”
He sighs, picking at a loose thread on his sock. “I wanted Mommy to stop working. She’s always working. It was a little fire, and I thought I could stop it before it got too big.”
RJ and I exchange glances as he opens his mouth to speak, but I shake my head, silently letting him know that I’ve got this.
“You’re a smart kid, Jonah. But what you did was dangerous.
That fire could’ve escalated quickly, and while you know a lot about how to stay safe if there’s a fire, you don’t know enough about how to put one out—”
“Can you teach me?” he interrupts.
I look over at RJ as I weigh my words. “We should talk to your mom about that.”
“I need to keep Mommy safe since I’m the man of the house.” Jonah’s words are matter-of-fact, but it cuts the same.
“That’s a good idea,” RJ says, nodding at me.
I’m out of my depth here. While I may suck with women, I’ve always prided myself on being a good dad. I’ve successfully navigated heavy topics with my kids, like the divorce, but I’ve never dealt with a grieving kid.
“It’s a lot of responsibility being the man of the house. How old are you?”
“Eight and a half.”
He’s so young to be dealing with this, but I know what he’s going through. “Your Uncle RJ and I grew up being the only men in our houses.”
Jonah’s head swivels between us. “So you know.”
“I do, but just in case, why don’t you tell me?” I ask.
“About all the stuff you have to do for girls.”
RJ’s face scrunches. “What kind of stuff? Cuz I don’t see your mom conforming to traditional gender roles.”
“It’s not because they’re girls. It’s the stuff that Daddy used to do for them, like make them breakfast. And fix the toilet when the handle sticks and the water won’t stop running, and it’s loud. Oh, and the spiders. I have to kill all the spiders because Mom and McKenna are scared of them.”
“I hate spiders too,” I admit. I shoot a quick glance at RJ. “If you tell anyone at the firehouse that, you’ll be on permanent solo hose-testing duty.”