15. Raven
RAVEN
He was a brute. A big, dumb brute. Why did he have to be there in my space? Of all the ranches on the planet, he had to be stuck on mine. I couldn’t go anywhere on the property without running into the man. And hell if I’d go near the stables after our last run-in there.
Sawyer walks by, and my eyes track the movement. There’s something comforting about his presence in my house lately. I find myself looking forward to him showing up as we’ve developed a routine.
When he interrupted my self-care earlier this week, I was struck by the look of longing on his face.
No one has ever looked at me like that. If I’m being honest, things have probably been shifting between us since I flashed him.
Maybe even sooner than that. But what solidified it was the way he took care of my kids when I had to go to Denver.
As much as I write about relationships and romance, I have no actual experience in that department.
And while Sawyer may say he’s terrible at it, I’m starting to think those are lies he’s been fed that he’s believing as truths.
This man has continually shown up for me since the day I met him. Even when I’ve pushed him away.
I was pissed when he canceled on me after our near kiss.
But once I processed my hurt and disappointment, I reminded myself he was spending time with his kids, not rejecting me.
He’s been consistent with me, noticing the little things, similar to what Kris used to do for me.
Except Sawyer has made it clear that he’s attracted to me, and it’s getting harder for me to deny my attraction to him.
And while I’m thrilled to find a man who actually listens to me, I’m equally intrigued by the way he’s still able to prank me.
Pranking people is one of my favorite pastimes.
It might seem contradictory since I thrive on routine, but there’s something comfortingly predictable about how people react to a prank.
But I don’t love being pranked myself, and I don’t care if that’s a double standard.
Unless it’s RJ. He knows my sensory issues.
Coming from anyone else, it can feel like deception, confusion, or an attempt to make me feel vulnerable.
So why am I engaging in this with Sawyer?
The rush of satisfaction I feel when I pull one over on him is unmatched.
And so far he hasn’t done anything to trigger a negative response from me, which only reinforces my suspicion that RJ must be helping him.
He may claim to have stopped, but there’s no other explanation for what’s been happening around here, and I know it’s not ghosts.
I’m not sure why he isn’t taking credit for some of the pranks happening. Maybe he’s playing the long game? His nonsense about it being ghosts is quite charming, even if it is ridiculous. There’s always a logical explanation for everything.
I head upstairs, following the sound of the power drill to find Sawyer in Jonah’s bathroom.
The smile on his face when he sees me nearly takes my breath away.
His eyes light up, crinkling around the edges.
The lines in his forehead seem to smooth out, and the laugh lines around his mouth deepen.
He has the thickest lips I’ve seen on a man, even if his top lip is partially covered by that slutty little ’stache.
“You’re gonna have to get a lot closer if you want a kiss.”
“Who says I want a kiss?”
“Your eyes and the way they’re staring at my mouth.”
“I was just curious if you ever comb that growth on your upper lip.”
He reaches up and rubs at it, stroking the hairs like he’s a villain on a kids’ show. “You don’t like it?”
“I didn’t say that. It reminds me of Tom Selleck from Magnum P.I. My aunt watched it a lot when I was growing up.” I glance around the room, hoping he doesn’t pick apart the wistfulness in my comment. “Looks like you’re making progress here.”
His head swivels. “Yeah. Doesn’t feel like it, though. I’m out of screws, and I’m down to my last drill bit. I’ll have to pick some up tomorrow after work.”
“That’s why I’m here. I’m headed into town to grab a few things.”
“You staying in Chestnut Mountain?”
“I was going to run over toward Longmont.”
“There’s a Home Depot over there that has what I need. The Market in town is lacking in the hardware department. Mind if I join you?”
“Sure, but we need to leave now if we want to make it back before the kids get out of school.”
He takes a step closer toward me, the aroma of his masculine scent and sweat permeating my nostrils. “Never pictured our first date being a Home Depot run, but I’ll take it.”
I roll my eyes and leave the bathroom, calling over my shoulder, “It’s not a date.”
“If that’s what you need to tell yourself, kitten.”
The fuck? I turn back to him, shooting him a death glare.
That’s a line from Hitched and Tied. I know it is.
I’ve had to reread it multiple times while writing the next book in the series.
Come to think of it, Sawyer has said or done several things over the past few weeks that sounded oddly familiar. Is he reading my books?
He raises his palms. “Not kitten. Got it. Doesn’t suit you anyway.”
“Are you fucking with me? Did RJ put you up to this?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Why are you here?” My mind races. I knew this felt familiar. Is this another prank? Are his feelings even real or some elaborate ruse?
“I’m here because I want to help. I like being around you, showing up for you. Well, you and those kids. What’s it gonna take for you to give me a chance? I know I’m not perfect, but I’m trying.”
There’s so much sincerity on his face that it’s hard to doubt him, but I’ve never done this before. “I’m not your project.”
“You’re not.” His tone is firm. He’s not arguing, and his pleading look softens my defenses.
“The romance book bullshit has to stop. You can’t just read my books as some sort of cheat code to get me to like you.”
His face falls. “Shit.”
“I knew it.” Dropping my head, I inhale slowly, balling my hands into fists. My nails dig into my palm, and I welcome the sting as it distracts me from the pain in my chest.
He sighs. “I can explain.”
“Don’t say anything. I just… I need a minute.” I can’t look at him. Instead, I concentrate on my breathing as I wrap my arms around my torso and squeeze. He read my books and used my words to woo me. Why would he do that?
Once I have a hold on my emotions, I look up, holding his gaze as he stands there, his mouth opening and closing like he can’t find the words. “My books aren’t a handbook for tricking me into liking you.”
“I swear, that’s not what I was trying to do.”
“Then why were you reading them? I know you don’t read romance for fun.”
“Remember when I told you that I’m terrible with women? I was told romance books might help me, and they have. I didn’t know you wrote them when it started. I just figured it out.”
“How?”
“You left it up on your laptop. I recognized the character name and setting.”
I ball my fists. “You looked at my computer?”
“It was an accident. I sat in your chair and knocked the mouse on accident.”
“You should’ve been honest with me.”
“You’re absolutely right, I should have.
And I was going to, but then I figured it’d be fun to poke you cuz that’s what we do.
I am sorry that I wasn’t honest, but I’m not sorry I read them.
You taught me how to be the ideal man for you through those books.
I feel like a better man because of the men you created. ”
The tension slowly leaves my body at his words. It is kind of a relief that someone else knows. And he seems sincere. “If you needed help, you could’ve asked me.”
“I really fucking like you, and I didn’t want to fuck this up like I do everything else.”
His honesty knocks the wind out of me. While I’m annoyed at his actions, it doesn’t feel like a betrayal since his intentions are good.
Besides, if this is the worst thing he’s done, it’s not so bad.
I’ve never felt this much for a person before, and something in my gut tells me not to walk away. So I decide to give him another chance.
“Be outside in ten minutes, or I’m leaving without you, porn ’stache.”
His eyes go comically wide. “Really? Does this mean we get to act out scenes from your books now?”
“Don’t make me regret this.” Though the thought has something tightening in my core. “And don’t tell anyone that I’m Ayana Cox. Only RJ knows, and I’d like to keep it that way.”
“Your secret’s safe with me.”
After I grab my purse, Sawyer walks me outside, and I lock the house behind me.
“Cool if we take my truck?” he asks, hooking his thumb behind him.
“Yeah—”
My words are cut off by the look of horror on Sawyer’s face.
I turn back toward the house to see what he’s looking at and see movement in one of the upstairs windows.
It looks like a figure standing in the window.
When I see it move, I yelp, running straight into Sawyer’s chest. Without thinking, I wrap my arms around him and burrow against him, letting the warmth of his body soothe my frayed nerves.
It’s just a prank. It’s just a prank.
“Who the fuck is in your house?” he whispers.
My head tilts so I can examine his face. He looks terrified, and his heart is racing under my touch. “That wasn’t you?”
His eyes lock with mine. “No. I swear. I had nothing to do with that.”
I inhale deeply, holding it for several seconds before I exhale. “There’s a logical explanation.”
“You keep saying that, but I’m having a hard time finding it. Does anyone else have a key to your house?”
“Just the kids, and they’re at school.”
“I’m gonna check it out.” He holds out a hand. “Can I have your keys?”
I pull them out of my purse, looping them on my finger. “I’m coming with you.”
He glares down at me. “Not that I wouldn’t love that, but if you stay out here, you could keep an eye out in case anyone exits.” He grabs the keys off my finger and drops his in my hand. “But I’d prefer you stay in the truck… just in case.”