Chapter Two
Atterbury House
Grosvenor Square
Mayfair, London
Lady Diana Woodbine, or the Dowager Viscountess Atterbury, as she would soon be called once her son married—came into the townhouse with a bit of trepidation fluttering in her belly.
The last time she’d been here was two years ago.
That was when she’d received word that her husband was dead, shot by accident during a spring hunt put on to bag pheasants and partridges.
She remembered sitting in the drawing room with her daughter, reading the letter her son had sent from their country estate in Surrey detailing the accident.
He’d asked if she wanted his body brought to London or should they bury him at Atterbury Hall?
Heavens, that had been a difficult time. While her daughter had broken down because her father had died, and she’d loved him, Diana had quite opposite feelings regarding his demise.
There had been an affection between her and Atterbury, obviously, since they’d had two children together, but those feelings had never gone deep enough to mature into love.
They’d married because it was a smart match, and he’d needed to do his duty by his title.
She wanted the stability of a husband and to have children, for with offspring, she would have people in her life who would love her unconditionally.
Of course, Diana had been thrilled with her son and daughter.
They were the joy of her life and well-behaved little souls with good hearts.
With her husband? No, she was not thrilled or even proud of him.
He never made it a secret that he preferred the company of his mistress, that she was much better in bed than Diana could ever be, that her interests more aligned with his.
Perhaps that was because her husband had been almost twenty years older than she, and in many ways, she could understand the sentiment, but having it thrown in her face day in and day out grew jarring after a while.
Eventually they’d drifted apart, and when he finally died, ending their twenty-two-year union, it had come as a relief with a bit of freedom.
Did she mourn for him? Yes and no. There had been a few twinges of sadness; they’d been married a long time, and even though there hadn’t been love between them—emotionally or physically—for a good portion of that time, he was still her children’s father.
He’d been the man she’d allowed into her bed.
In fact, he had been the only man who had touched her in a carnal way, such as it had been.
And along with that, she’d mourned for a life she thought she might have when she’d come to him at the marriage altar as a starry-eyed young woman of three and twenty.
Throughout the course of the union, the enchantment and romance she’d always dreamed of having had vanished.
In its place had come responsibility, reality, and motherhood.
Now, she was essentially free. She had the opportunity to choose a man she wanted this time around, someone who would bring excitement, life, and if luck was with her, drugging passion into her existence and make up for the years she’d wasted on Atterbury.
The best years of my life, I suppose.
As Diana made her way into the entry hall of the townhouse, she sighed.
“It’s been an age since I’ve been here, and I’m not certain I wish for all the memories this visit will surely bring.
” She’d come to London with a second cousin from her mother’s side of the family, Miss Tabetha Potter.
Many times, she’d acted like a companion of sorts since Diana had been in mourning, but she was truly one of her best friends, and they were around the same age, had grown up together.
There had been many visits between them during the course of Diana’s marriage, and long times were spent at each other’s homes for visits.
It was good to have someone familiar with her now. “I almost dread it.”
“Understandable, but it’s quite necessary. It will help you heal and find closure, I think.”
“Perhaps this is true.” For most of what she had left from her husband were unsavory and disappointing memories. “Thankfully, the children will arrive soon as well.”
As she gave her spencer, bonnet, and gloves to the butler, who’d welcomed her back with enthusiasm, she heaved another sigh.
It was time to live again, perhaps time to love again, or at the very least, pursue a life she’d always wanted but suspected she’d been cheated from with him.
Out of all the times her husband had bedded her, she’d only reached release a handful of those.
More often than not, if she wanted that electrifying feeling throughout her body, she had to bring herself to that state with her own fingers.
It wasn’t the same, and these days, even that had paled, which necessitated the need to be back in Town.
Now that she was officially out of mourning—of course two years was much longer than what was required by society—and her son had successfully taken the title at the age of twenty, she wanted to investigate interests of her own.
She hoped Percy would do the viscounty more justice than her husband had.
“They will be happy to see you,” Tabetha said as she followed Diana along the corridor toward the main staircase.
“That is the hope.” Her daughter was seventeen and in her first year at finishing school in Brighton. All reports said she was bright, intelligent, and charming. These were attributes that would propel her through society when she had her come out in two years.
Yet for the first time in Diana’s life, she was alone with nothing but time on her hands. She could do what she wanted and didn’t need to consider anyone else’s feelings. The overwhelming freedom in that knowledge rocked her to her core.
It was glorious.
“The first thing I need to do after being settled is call on Mama. She’s trying to be strong for Papa, and for us all, but it must be a difficult time for her.
” Of course, there was another reason for this visit to Town, and it didn’t have anything to do with wishing to take back her life or have a second chance at it of sorts.
Her father was dying, and according to her brother, it could be a matter of days or even weeks.
Perhaps he was only waiting until his family could come together for one last goodbye.
“Regardless of the timing, it is good to have you back in London. I’ve missed having my best friend about. Shopping and taking tea is sometimes stale without you.” Nothing but honesty lingered in Tabetha’s tone.
“I appreciate that, my dear. And I’ve missed you too.” Diana shoved the thoughts of sadness to the back of her mind. “It is lovely to be back, isn’t it? I’m anxious to make my way into society.”
Though when her father died, she’d once more be in mourning, for a much shorter time of course, which would further delay the life she so desperately wanted to build for herself.
Perhaps it wouldn’t matter.
A grin curved Tabetha’s lips and gave life to her round, pale face. “How long will you reside here before your son joins you from Surrey?”
“At least a couple of weeks. Unless Papa dies sooner, of course, then my stay might be longer than that.” After gaining the second level, she made her way to the drawing room.
Since she’d written to the housekeeper ahead of time, the house had been readied and the rooms aired.
As they spoke, the beds were being dressed.
It was lovely having a sufficient staff.
Tabetha tilted her head, a habit she had that was quite endearing. “What will you do in the interim?”
“Visit my father, spend time with my mother and brother.” She shrugged as she settled into her favorite chair.
“I also wish to attend as many society functions as I can. It will help ease me back into being familiar with the movers and shakers within the ton. I’ve already received a few invitations, and I know you have some as well.
Between the two of us, we should have a wide range of places to go with hopefully many interesting men to meet. ”
At least she was honest.
Tabetha nodded. “So, it’s true. You’re looking to marry again?” She perched on the edge of a low sofa, and in her fawn-colored dress, she resembled a comfortable, chubby woodland creature. But then, her friend was always adorable in whatever color she favored that day.
Was she? Diana nodded, for she didn’t need to think upon it.
“I am. There are many things I miss about having a husband, and perhaps this time, I’ll find one with skill between the sheets, decent enough coffers to provide a future, and the courage to actually love me as I should be loved. ” That wasn’t too much to ask, was it?
“Ambitious list.” But Tabetha snorted. “Incidentally, you don’t need to marry in order to have a wild carnal life. Just have an affair with the man of your choice.”
Diana smiled at her cousin. “While that is true, I want the husband as well.”
There was just something comforting and safe about having a man’s arms around her, and the fact there was someone waiting at the end of the day to discuss a wide variety of topics as the hush of night fell that made things worthwhile.
Not that she’d had that in a very long time.
“You can have that as someone’s mistress,” her friend was quick to add. “That way you needn’t be stuck with the man.”
“Also true, but I can’t see myself as a mistress, constantly waiting for a man to come visit me whenever the whim strikes.” She shook her head. “I would like to see if a second marriage will feel different than the first. Surely it would.”
I refuse to let a man ignore me this time around.