Chapter Two #2
“Well, I hope you’re able to find what you what here in London.
I haven’t been able to sort through the lists of eligible men so I don’t know the bounders from the saints, what with everything else, but I’m glad to have you back.
We haven’t seen each other in an age. Town just isn’t the same without you. ”
“I agree, and hopefully you and I can have many conversations and outings together this spring.” Diana smiled. “How is your husband?” For the past year, her friend’s husband had been battling a disease of the lungs that his physician and apothecaries couldn’t help treat.
Worry creased the other woman’s face. “His illness still lingers but we’re hopeful he can rise above it.
The dampness of the winter and early spring was rough on him.
” A trace of tears welled in her eyes. “The promise of sunshine for the rest of the season keeps us in good spirits, though. If he’s feeling strong enough, perhaps I’ll bring him over here for a visit. ”
“That will be such a lovely time. I hope he does continue to grow stronger.” When a footman brought in a tea tray, Diana smiled her thanks.
“There is far too much death in life. The moments left over to us around such things are quite precious. We need to fill them with things, people, and experiences that bring us joy.”
“I think so too.” Tabetha took it upon herself to pour out the tea. When she gave one cup to Diana, she said, “It is quite true when joy and pleasure temper the worry and sadness. Everything is a part of our life, and we should encourage ourselves to feel all of it.”
“That is a very agreeable statement, Tabby.” Diana put a small lump of sugar into the amber depths of her tea then she stirred the liquid until the sugar dissolved. “Those emotions remind us that we are alive.”
Even through the times in her life when she hadn’t wished to be.
There were long stretches after she’d birthed both of her children when she thought the darkness might creep too close and swallow her whole.
It had taken strong fortitude to pull out of those patches, and with no support from her husband, she felt it was a Herculean task both times.
Thank goodness for her parents and her siblings.
Otherwise, she didn’t know what would have become of her.
Of course, everything had eventually leveled out, and her mind had been her own once again, and for a long time it had remained that way, until about five years ago.
That was when her body had undergone another shift of sorts.
It had been a transition where the darkness had returned but with it had come a slowing down, or else it had felt that way to her, and in that string of years, she’d realized that she would never again bear a child.
Had her usefulness as a woman come to an end?
In a society who judged one by the size of their families and the ability to have sons, had she outlived her purpose?
She hoped not. As horrid as it sounded—which was why she’d never voiced this thought aloud—she was revitalized now that her husband was no longer alive, and she meant to enjoy every moment of her newfound freedom.
Without consequences.
In silence, she and Tabetha indulged in the tea service before her friend stirred.
“By the by, are you still a patron of the arts?”
“I am. It’s something I find quite comforting and at times, quite satisfying.” She took a sip of tea. “Why?”
“Well, one of my husband’s friends is searching for a first-edition compendium of Keats’s poetry, especially if it includes “The Eve of St. Agnes.” I have no idea if such a thing exists, but if it does, this man wishes to add it to his collection.
” Tabetha added another seed cake to her plate.
“If you know of someone who has one, please let me know so I can broker the transaction.”
“That sounds quite interesting. Now I wonder if it does exist.” Poetry had always seemed so romantic to her, but since her husband had held little to no interest in such things, she hadn’t read it as much as she would have liked.
The young womanly dreams she’d had at one time of her spouse reading bits of romantic poetry and prose to her had long ago died beneath the man her husband had been, but over the past couple of years, she’d started to collect volumes that struck a chord with her soul.
“I will ask around to my social circle. Otherwise, I have a contact at one of the local lending libraries, so I could inquire there.”
“Thank you. I know he would appreciate it.”
She nodded. “Who is your husband’s friend? Perhaps I know of him, so if I run into him during events, I could talk with him about that.”
“It’s Viscount Holdcraft. He’s called on my husband a few times during his illness, so that has been lovely. They usually end the visit by playing chess.”
“Oh.” Nathanial Grossbeck. Reaction immediately slammed through Diana’s chest, for she hadn’t heard that title for a very long time indeed. “Of course I know of him. He’s my brother’s best friend.”
She hadn’t been in the viscount’s company in many years.
Possibly since before she was married, but the two of them had been friends since they were young boys.
From what she’d heard of him throughout the years, he’d successfully managed to avoid marriage, but on the other side of the coin, he’d become quite a rake within society.
“I thought he might be familiar.” Tabetha nodded. She nibbled at the seed cake. “I’ve heard through the gossip mill that he has been thinking about marrying for the sake of his title, but he’s fighting it all the way.”
“Some men don’t like to entertain the idea of marriage.
” From what she could remember, he’d been a wildly handsome and charming young man with hair the color of glowing embers, and he was always quite popular with the ladies.
“I hope he decides to marry from the proper reasons, for a union without love is a prison sentence for both parties.”
“Not to mention that a man like that will be wasted on a society miss who is just out in society.” Tabetha slid a mischievous glance at her. “Perhaps a man like him is someone you should pursue or at the very least try to attract. Gossip has it that he’s quite skilled in the bedroom arts.”
Heat went through Diana’s cheeks. “Don’t talk nonsense, Tabby. He’s my brother’s best friend. We all grew up together in Surrey. Our families are far too good of friends for any sort of romance to bloom.”
Would it even be possible?
“Who said anything about trying to procure a romance from the man?” her friend said with a robust chuckle. After she drained her teacup, she landed her laughing gaze on Diana. “Didn’t you say yourself that you wanted something different from what you had with your husband?”
“I did, but I could never…” She shook her head. “He’s younger than me, besides,” she said in a scandalized whisper.
“What does that matter when the clothes come off?” Tabetha’s laughter echoed in the drawing room.
“And isn’t familiarity better than having to do the pretty with a stranger?
” She shrugged. “It’s something to think about.
I’m not saying you should proposition him merely based on rumors of his prowess, but I am saying that if he comes your way during a society event that you keep an open mind. ”
“Pish posh, Tabby. I wouldn’t feel comfortable with that sort of thing and him.
He will always be my brother’s best friend and nothing else.
” Thinking about him in such a capacity was simply silly, wasn’t it?
“Besides, I haven’t seen him since before I was married.
We barely have a connection any longer.”
“All of that is true, of course, but who knows what can happen. May Day is rapidly approaching, and magic can occur at that time of year.”
Though she loved Tabetha’s whimsy, she rather thought she’d long outgrown such things, and the viscount wasn’t someone she’d ever thought about in romantic or carnal ways.
She needed a much different man than someone who buzzed from flower to flower, for she’d already had a man who’d cared nothing for her.
Never again.