Chapter Ten #2
How could this woman possibly see through him with such ease? Sweat rolled down his spine to plaster his lawn shirt to his back. Several heartbeats passed before he finally nodded. “What if I haven’t?”
The dowager shrugged. “There is no sin in wanting an older woman, Holdcraft, and you make a handsome couple together.”
Another shock slammed into him. “Do you, ah, know what happened between Diana and me recently?” Every word he spoke came with heat on his neck that climbed toward his ears. Surely, she would see that damning flush.
The dowager’s eyes twinkled. “No, she hasn’t said a word, but I suspected. Her notice was never far from you when we were together for the mourning party.”
Was that so? How interesting. “And?” He could barely breathe from anticipation.
“It is good to know there is a man who wishes to protect her, to look after her, and treat her in the way she should have been treated by Atterbury.” As her eyes narrowed, Nathaniel wondered just how much Diana had told her mother about her marriage.
“I was opposed to that match, but my husband insisted. He said it would do her good to marry the viscount.”
“I beg your pardon, but that was a nodcock idea.”
“Oh, I won’t argue with you on that. Diana often wrote to me of how lonely she was. She asked many times if things would grow better between her and Atterbury, or if he might drop his mistress and see her worth as a wife.”
God, that was heartbreaking, and still shock tightened his chest. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
“So was I, and how could I, as her mother, assure her of something I knew would never occur?”
That must have been difficult from every perspective. “Yet you haven’t objected to me.”
“Why should I? You have been there for her, I suspect, for many things since you came back into her life.”
If he was hit by any more shock, he might just be knocked off his chair. “You wouldn’t oppose a possible match between us? That is, if I prove to be the marrying type?”
“Ha!” The dowager snorted. “At this stage of life? No, I wouldn’t.
Everyone deserves happiness and someone who cares for us unconditionally.
If you’ve found that with her and she with you, who am I to oppose it?
” She paused and once more patted his hand.
“I’ve always liked you, Nathaniel. Since you have been friends with William for such a long time, I know you are loyal.
However, I don’t like the lifestyle you lead, but I’m confident that will change once you find yourself in love. ”
Love. Was it even possible after all this time?
After he’d been thwarted by it twice in the past?
He didn’t know, but oddly he hoped that these feelings were what he was beginning to feel for Diana.
It was certainly different than the infatuation he’d had for her as an untried youth.
The best way he could explain what he currently felt was the sensation of being home.
Realizing the dowager waited on his answer, he asked, “You won’t tell William?
” A bit of relief made its way through his gut to finally have this knowledge out in the open.
Along with it came excitement that buzzed at the base of his spine.
Was this the path he’d wanted to tread for such a long time without knowing it?
A small chuckle came from the lady. “I will not, for that is your responsibility. However, conduct your liaison discreetly, as we are in mourning.”
“Of course.” Had he just been given permission to court Diana? Did he want to try? There was much to think about before he saw her next. “Thank you, Lady Northfield. I’ll strive to be worthy of you both.”
She nodded, and once more, her eyes filled with tears. “However…”
“Yes?” Nathaniel braced for whatever else she would say.
Her eyes bored into his. “Don’t hurt her.
If you think to merely use her and trifle with her affections like you’ve done with the string of other women over the years, I will put my foot down and have William run you off.
” Her lips formed a tight line. “I don’t care about your friendship with him.
My daughter deserves only good things now, not men after their own pleasures. ”
Properly chastised, he nodded. “I quite agree, and you have my word. I have no intention of hurting Diana.” Should he reveal more of a personal nature to her?
Deciding it might help his suit, he added, “In fact, I think I’m coming to care for her more than is good for me, but there is much to decide between us, and I need time to order my thoughts. ”
“Very well.” She reached over and grasped his hand. “If you do decide to come up to scratch, speak with her son. Percy has a right to be informed if a man wishes to marry his mother.”
Fuck. It was all happening so fast that it was frightening. First though, he needed to reconnect with Diana, find out how she’d gotten on since the funeral, but he nodded. “I’ll take that under advisement, and thank you for the opportunity for this chat.”
“Good luck, Holdcraft. I hope she leads you a merry chase, for I have a feeling you’ll bedevil her as well. That sort of relationship will have the roots to last.”
Damn, he wanted to believe her, but he was ages away from finding out.