Chapter Ten
Sammerson House
St. James’s Place
Mayfair, London
It had been fourteen days since Nathaniel had brought Diana a bouquet of flowers upon hearing the news that her father had died, and it had been five days since he’d seen her at all.
Everyone in the Sammerson family had gone to Surrey three days after the earl’s death, for the weather had proved decent enough.
In accordance to how well liked the earl was, his funeral procession from London to his Northfield Hall in Surrey was quite large, made up of family, friends, and acquaintances.
Since there had been an extraordinary number of mourners, Nathaniel offered to open his manor for overflow guests who were staying multiple nights.
It was the right thing to do, and because his property bordered William’s, it was easy to convey people to and fro.
He didn’t mind taking on the additional expense of housing and feeding them either; it was the least he could do for William and Diana.
In fact, the whole experience changed him, proved a turning point of sorts.
After watching them both interact with all the people, after seeing them pull close to the family—and the fact they included him in that—he wanted such close connections for himself.
No longer did he want to live a scattered life full of empty liaisons, never being important to anyone.
So he’d thrown himself wholeheartedly into caring for the Sammerson family, making certain that his best friend had the easiest time he could of conducting the funeral and finally laying the earl to rest. In this way, perhaps he could show Diana that not all men were bounders like her husband had been.
Eventually, the gathering ended. When the first of the mourners and supporters left Surrey, Diana and her children—with whom he’d spent a decent amount of time—returned to London. Shortly after, her sister Meredith and her family went back to their country estate.
Nathaniel stayed on to assist with the cleanup and to lend moral support to his best friend.
Eventually, William and the dowager countess left after the remainder of the guests and mourners returned home.
Only then did Nathaniel prepare to travel back to London.
He had business there after all, and he was anxious to see Diana again.
Damn. What does it mean that I’ve been lost without her?
With a shuddering sigh, and the shake of his head, Nathaniel wrenched himself out of his thoughts.
He peered out the window of his closed carriage.
Of course it was raining, when wasn’t it?
Would Diana be there as well? The possibility of seeing her after the past two weeks of pure chaos tightened his chest and sent interest shivering through his shaft.
Would she wish to continue the affair that had barely begun?
God, he hoped so, for he needed her in his life for more than just the carnal.
And that surprised the hell out of him.
A tap on the roof preceded his driver announcing they were arriving at their destination.
“Thank you.” He rubbed a gloved hand along the side of his face then he adjusted the collar of his greatcoat upward so the rain wouldn’t drip down the back of his neck.
Once the vehicle rocked to a halt and then dipped when the driver hopped down from his bench, a heavy sigh escaped Nathaniel’s throat.
As the door opened and his driver put down the steps, he nodded.
“No doubt I’ll be here a bit. Go on home and get out of the rain.
When I’m ready to leave, I’ll send a summons. ”
“As you like, my lord.”
Ten minutes later, after he’d given over his damp outer things to the footman at the door, the butler led him up to the drawing room and announced him.
A frown tugged his lips downward, for the only person occupying the room was the dowager countess. “I’ve come to see William. Is he at home?”
She glanced up from the handiwork in her lap. “He is, but he’s talking with his man-of-affairs in his study. He’ll be along shortly.”
“I see.” Not knowing what to do, he bounced his gaze between her and the door. “Do you mind if I spend time with you?”
“Not at all.” Lady Northfield set aside her embroidery. “Come sit near to me, Holdcraft. We haven’t had time to speak privately since my husband died. The last weeks have proved far too busy and exhausting, to tell the truth.”
“Such is life, I’m afraid.” He dropped into a chair near the sofa where she sat. All the furniture was upholstered in mauve-and-gold brocade to match the same colors in the wallpaper. Would William redecorate once he was confirmed as earl? “How do you fair, Lady Northfield?”
“I honestly believe it depends on the hour.” Sadness pooled in her eyes that were so much like Diana’s.
“It’s a whole new way of learning how to order my days.
Even though we knew Northfield’s time was coming, I didn’t truly expect there to be such a hole in my life after his passing.
” She shook her head. “We’d been married such a long time, I don’t know how I’m to go forward now. ”
When the sound of tears threatened in her voice, he leaned over and patted her hand. “I can’t imagine how you must be feeling. Will you remain in London with William?”
“For a bit,” she said with a watery-eyed nod. “I need William’s strength just now, and since Diana is in Town while her son adjusts to the demands of his new title, I’ll have her to spend time with as well.”
At the mention of her name, his heart skipped a beat.
Need twisted down his spine to lodge in his stones.
There’d not been time for them to slip away and be together carnally during the past two weeks, and he’d quite missed her.
Not just for the physical. Her presence in his life had offered a lightness and a purpose of sorts that he’d become almost reliant on in that short amount of time.
Then he cleared his throat. “Your children are strong and independent. You and Northfield did well in that regard. Frankly, I admired the earl and how he ordered his life.”
“He was a good man.” She flicked her gaze over his face. “And you have always been a charmer, Holdcraft.” Then she pinned him with a speculative look. “Is there a woman in your life? William mentioned that you needed to marry more sooner than later.”
“Oh.” Heat crept up the back of his neck. “Let us say there is perhaps the thought of one, but nothing has moved in that direction as of yet.” Did he even want Diana past an affair? Such as it was with the interruption? Was he truly thinking along matrimonial lines?
“You are far too old to still be sowing wild oats.”
“I know.” For the space of a few heartbeats, he thought carefully over his next words.
“If I’m being honest, this time with your family has made me think that perhaps I should do something about my life merely to have others around me.
I…” As a wad of emotion lodged in his throat, he cleared it.
“I don’t want to reach the end of my life and have no one there to care that I’ll soon be gone. ”
“Understandable. I’m glad you are coming to your senses.” It was her turn to pat his hand. “I imagine it’s stressful knowing you need to do your duty to the title.”
“There is that. I’m thinking about that more with each passing day.
” Yet if he did choose Diana for a wife, if all the stars aligned and that was suddenly possible, she was of an age that she was too old to bear children.
He might have the wife but there would still be no offspring, and certainly no heir to inherit the title. What would happen then?
“Well, you still have your looks, and they will serve you well when selecting a wife among the eligible women within the ton right now.”
The thought of having to do the pretty for only God knew how long, courting women far younger than himself, and possibly not liking any of them for his future wife nearly turned his stomach. Truth to tell, he didn’t want another woman beyond Diana.
Yet she wasn’t his, either.
The dowager sniffled. She dabbed at the corners of her eyes with a handkerchief that had a black ribbon sewn around the edges. “By the by, Diana has seemed different these past two weeks. Did you have cause to notice?”
Ah, when he watched her from afar every second that he could?
“Losing a parent will do that.” Perhaps the separation between us had been a good thing.
It slowed their relationship down and allowed them both time to think.
For his part, he wanted her more than ever, but if commonsense crept in, did she regret agreeing to an affair?
“No, it’s beyond that, I think.”
“What?” He snapped his attention back to the dowager.
She nodded. “It’s almost as if my daughter has a secret, as if she’s found someone for her life who makes her truly happy.”
“Has she?” Shock slammed into his chest. Why didn’t he notice?
“Oh, yes. I saw it in her eyes that she looked forward to returning to London, probably to see him again. Do you know anything about that?” There was a shrewdness to her glance.
“Uh…” Nathaniel froze. Did she suspect? “I’m afraid I don’t.”
She tsked her tongue. “I have known you for as long as I’ve known my own son.” Her eyes were kind if tired as she held his gaze. “When you were a young man, before Diana wed and before you went away to the Continent, you were once sweet on her regardless that she is five years older than you.”
Bloody hell. She did suspect! What to say now? He cleared his throat. “That was in the past.”
“Mmm, I rather doubt anything has changed for you. Oh, perhaps you were thwarted in love over the course of your life; most men are. And that is why you’ve built the walls of a rake around yourself, to try and protect your heart, but you have never forgotten Diana.
” One of her graying eyebrows lifted in question. “Is that true?”