31. Roman
ROMAN
I must have fallen asleep, because I wake with a start.
There’s faint light beyond the blinds, and I wonder what time it is.
For a moment, I’m groggy and confused as to why I woke, but then stinging pain in my back makes itself known.
Damn, I should have gone more carefully during the fun times, but I can’t regret it.
It was worth a little pain, and deep down, I kind of like the pain, so there’s that.
A small, warm form lays within the shelter of my curled body, my arm thrown over her. Ophelia.
Where are the others? I turn to look over my shoulder, but there’s no Cain or Mal behind me on the bed. I can see well enough in the faint light to make out they aren’t in the room.
Has something happened? My heart picks up speed, but no, if it had, surely they’d have woken us.
Looking down at the girl in my arms, I pull her into me, holding her tight, and gently kiss the top of her head.
She makes a snuffling sound against me, and every single part of me turns to liquid.
She melts me and makes my hardened insides molten.
This girl could break me, and it scares me, but I’ve never been a coward.
So, I must face the stark truth, which is that I’m deeply in love with her.
“Roman, you smell so good,” she mumbles.
I do? I’d have thought I smelled of sex and sleep. “I mean, I could do with a shower.” I laugh softly.
“Me too.” She snuggles in closer and yawns. “Not yet, though. I love being here like this with you. I’m glad you stayed and didn’t run off this time.”
I kiss the top of her head again. “I’m glad I stayed, too.”
I want to fall asleep every night with her being the last thing I see and wake every morning with her in my arms.
She hasn’t asked where the others are yet or shown any indication she’s not happy being here with me, just the two of us.
“I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you safe, Ophelia,” I swear.
I mean it, too. I’d sacrifice myself for her in a heartbeat. She’s been through so much and she’s so small and fragile in my arms.
Thinking back to what happened to me as a kid, I don’t feel the sticky sense of shame I usually do.
Holding Ophelia like this, her so much smaller than me, makes me realize how much power grown men hold in this world.
Those who abuse that power to harm women and children are fucking evil.
No, I don’t feel shame now, only anger, and purely at them, no longer at myself.
She helps me heal, and for that, I’ll always be grateful.
If we ever had children, I’d move heaven and earth to ensure they were protected from all the bad things in this world. They’d know only happiness.
The thought makes my chest hurt. Kids? I had always thought I could never do that, because I was far too broken, but holding Ophelia like this makes me want more from life. For the first time, I think of a future beyond revenge.
She kisses my throat and gives a soft hum of appreciation before doing it again.
“Warm,” she murmurs.
My heart just fucking breaks wide open for her.
“I love you, Ophelia.” Christ, my voice sounds fractured. I clear my throat as she pulls back a little and looks up at me. Her mismatched eyes are wide in the dim light, and I smile down at her. “I love you, baby. More than anything on this earth.”
Her smile is beautiful and radiant. “I love you, too, Roman. So much.”
She kisses me softly, and I return it. It’s not heated or even sexual, simply slow and emotional.
“You’re awake,” Cain says as he enters the room.
“How come you’re not sleeping?” Ophelia asks.
He sighs and sits by the bed. “I dozed for a while, but Mal woke me up. He’s been worrying about where we go from here.
We need to move on, he says, but where? We can’t stay here forever.
I get that. My friend won’t mind us using it for as long as we wish, but maybe we need to start making some plans. ”
Maybe? I’d say we most definitely do, and not only making plans, but absolutely moving on as soon as possible.
Disentangling myself from Ophelia, I shuffle until I’m partially sitting against the headboard. I wince as my injured back makes itself known, but the pain quickly fades. She follows my movement and props herself up next to me, pulling the sheet up to cover her chest.
Cain smiles and pulls it down. She gives a small squeak of protest, but he grins wider.
“I like looking at you,” he says.
She arches her brow. “Even while we’re discussing important things and strategy?”
“Especially while we’re discussing strategy, Angel.” He taps his finger against his chin. “In fact, since you’ve basically given Roman free use, it should apply to us all, and that means, really, you should be naked all the time, in order to give us better access.”
She huffs out an annoyed breath, but her nipples peak, and yeah, she finds that idea hot, as do I. It’s not practical, but maybe for a weekend, it would be fun. Once we’re back home.
Home . My heart twinges, because where is that? I know who it is. It’s the four people in this house, but where the fuck do we make our home going forward?
I think about it, and, as I do, I let the ancestors and gods guide me, working purely on instinct.
An answer comes to me. “I think we’re safest back at Verona Falls, if we can get together our own group of men for security.”
Cain nods. “I agree. But how do we get Nataniele to go along with it?”
I glance at Ophelia. “We need your father to agree to it, too, and then call Nataniele and get him to let you back and extend the college protection to you.”
“If we were back at the water tower, with guards of our own, and the college guards at the periphery, along with the drones and guard dogs Nataniele has, then we’d be as safe as fucking anywhere,” I say. “We just need to find some men.”
Cain nods and taps his finger against his chin again as he thinks. “We do need a plan, I guess. Maybe we should all discuss this, and it will help calm Mal down, too. I’m worried he’s going to start spiraling.”
“Let me get showered and dressed, so I’m fully awake, then we can talk.” I turn to Ophelia. “I meant every word I said.”
I kiss her forehead and slide out of the bed. I walk bare-ass naked past Cain, who doesn’t even glance my way, he’s so focused on Ophelia.
In the bathroom, I turn on the shower to full, and when it’s raining down hard on the tiles, I step in and let the water cleanse me of more than just the surface dirt. I picture all my shame and fear washing away with it, too.
When I step out of this shower, I’m going to be born anew, a fucking warrior, here to protect Ophelia from any harm that might come her way.