17. Elyse
CHAPTER 17
ELYSE
I t's impossible to sleep, and it’s not because I’m not tired but because my brain refuses to shut off. My phone vibrates across the bedside table for the third time. I’m annoyed. More than annoyed. I quickly snag it before it hits the brass lamp and wakes Sebastian. Unknown Number flashes across the screen.
It might say Unknown Number, but I know the name of the man on the other end of that line. My fucking father. I tuck the phone under my pillow and try to ignore the hole his text messages have created in my chest. Hiding my phone from Sebastian, scanning the screen, and pretending I’m okay when I’m really not… It’s harder than you think.
I replay his texts back in my head.
This is your fault.
Your fault.
All your fault.
It’s all the same things he used to say to me as a child. That he was beating me for my own good, the punishment was my own fault, and if I had tried harder, or listened better, then I wouldn’t be punished. It wasn’t true. The harder I tried, the worse the punishments were, and the more depressed and exhausted I became. And even though deep down I know it's what he does —manipulating and cajoling—I can't help but think he's right. If you’re told something enough times in your life you start to believe it.
I roll over in the bed and skim the outline of Sebastian's body under the top sheet. He's sprawled on his side, legs up and bent. Seeing him sleeping is the only time he appears relaxed. Unguarded. It’s one of my favorite times to look at him because he’s himself. There is no mask, no front. He’s just Sebastian. Today, however, I can’t appreciate this moment of watching him sleep, not with my father’s voice ringing in my head, reminding me everything is my fault. That whatever happens to Sebastian will be my fault.
The phone vibrates again, and I flinch from the sudden jolt. I should block the number; that's the safest move. Shut him out of my life completely now he's no longer controlling me. It’s what any normal person with a stalker would do, right?
But my father isn’t normal. He’s far from normal, and he’s willing to do anything to get what he wants. Blocking him would only piss him off, and I don’t want to rock the boat more than it’s already been rocked.
Knowing sleep is out of the question, I gently slide off the edge of the bed and grab one of Sebastian’s T-shirts off a nearby chair. I slip into it, and with my phone in my hand, I walk towards the bathroom. I pause at the entrance and peer back over my shoulder to Sebastian.
He hasn’t moved, not even flinched.
Slipping inside I hit the button on the phone and watch with dread as the cascade of messages appear on the screen. They’re all terrible but it’s the last one catching my eye and makes me unlock the phone.
YOU'RE AN UNGRATEFUL LITTLE BITCH AND I PLAN TO MAKE YOU PAY FOR EVERY SECOND YOU'VE KEPT ME WAITING. P.S. I'LL KILL YOUR HUSBAND FIRST.
My hands tremble so badly, I nearly drop the phone. Breathing through my nose, I try to calm down, but the reminder of who he is and what he’s done to me in the past bubbles up and out of me.
Pressing my hand over my mouth I hold in the scream of horror. Why? Why am I stuck with his cruelty? What did I ever do to deserve someone so evil in my life—as my father, no less? I know I shouldn’t let my thoughts play out of control like this, that it’s only feeding into him, but it’s hard not to.
He's already gone after Sebastian once, and my biggest fear is that he's not going to stop until he gets what he wants... control over me. Worse, I fear he might retaliate in more permanent ways when his patience runs out.
I don’t care what happens to me, but I don’t think I could live with myself if something happened to Sebastian and it was my doing.
I quickly type out a reply and hit send.
Me: Leave us alone.
A response comes back almost immediately:
Unknown Number: Never. And when I blow out his skull with my gun, that will be your fault, too.
It’s always the threat of death. Everything good in my life is taken from me by this man and I’m tired of it. But even as angry and sad about that truth as I am there is something much bigger here. The threat of him hurting Sebastian. Of killing him. My stomach clenches, and a wave of nausea ripples through me. I can’t be the reason he hurts Sebastian. I won’t be.
I sink to the cold tile floor, and while the cold sinking into my bones makes me shiver, it also jolts me back to life. How can I fix this? Is there even a way to fix it? I don’t know. I stare at the cell phone screen for a long moment. I’m not going to sit here and read through all of his messages.
Knowing my only option is to call him, I hit the green call button and wait. The line rings, and rings, and rings, and my anxiety climbs higher and higher with each pause, until the very end when he finally answers.
"You're smarter than I've given you credit for." The menacing tone of his voice cuts through the phone’s speaker.
"I asked you once already. Please, leave us alone.”
"Where's the fun in that? You’re my daughter, and I have every right to have contact with you."
I swallow the fear, the revulsion, and nausea tied to his name and voice. I shove it down, deep into the pit of my stomach so I can focus on a solution instead of my emotions.
"What do you want? I can give you money...you've always wanted money."
"Not this time. This time, I want revenge. I want you to pay for the damage you’ve caused. For taking away one of my best associates, for ruining my plans. But mostly I want you to pay for standing there smiling like nothing even happened while your piece of shit husband broke my fingers.”
"I have money. Arturo money. Isn't that better than revenge?"
There's a long pause, and I'm waiting for the next curse, the next threat, but instead I'm surprised when I hear neither.
"How much money?"
"I'm not sure, maybe a hundred thousand dollars.”
He scoffs. "That's a downpayment, nothing more. I know Arturo has more money than that."
I pause, my heartbeat thundering into my throat when I think I hear a scuffle outside the door. Shit. Is he awake? I listen a little harder, but all I catch is my heartbeat pounding in my ears. No. He would open the door and walk in if he were awake.
"Elyse...don't fucking toy with me. I promise you won’t like what happens."
"I'm not," I whisper, moving deeper into the bathroom to get away from the door. "I'm just trying to be careful. I only have access to what's in the house."
"I don’t care. It's not fucking enough."
There's nothing else to barter with. I mean yes, there is some jewelry, and fancy clothes, but that's it. I've never had any money myself, and I can't exactly walk up to Sebastian and ask for some, not without a million questions attached.
"What will it take for you to leave him alone? To let him do his business and live his life in peace?”
There's another pause and I listen as he puffs on a cigarette a few times.
"Just bring me the money and yourself. It’s the only trade I’m willing to make.”
"In exchange for..." I prompt. He's not likely to keep his word but I need him to say it out loud, to be certain.
I pull the phone away from my ear, and quickly navigate to the record app, then I hit the button and let the app do its work.
"You bring me one hundred thousand dollars and yourself, and I’ll make sure no one fucks with your husband.”
It's not exactly incriminating, but I save it regardless. At the very least, when I'm gone, Sebastian might be able to piece together what happened.
"Fine."
"Now," he bites into the phone. "Come home now."
I shake my head and then speak. "No, I can't. We both know he won’t let me just leave here. That will cause a bigger problem.”
"Sounds like paradise," he sneers. "You sure know how to pick them, Ely."
The sound of my name in that voice makes me shudder, makes me feel dirty and disgusting. I breathe through my nose to stop myself from puking. That’s all I need to do right now.
"We have a deal, but it won't be right now."
"How fucking long do you expect me to wait? I mean, you’re the one who wants this. I could give two shits. I’ll kill both of you and move on with my life.”
"I'm going back to school in the next day or two. If I can get away from him I'll get the money and meet you somewhere. The only stipulation is that I need some type of guarantee you won’t hurt him once the deal is done.”
He makes a soft humming noise. "Let's put it this way. As long as you do what you are told, I won't feel the need to take my frustration out on your husband. You be a good girl, and I'll leave him alone."
It's a shit deal all around, but if it lets me fix even a portion of the mess I've made then it's worth it, at least for Sebastian.
A hot tear slides down my cheek, and I angrily swipe it away. "Fine. Like I said, give me a day or two, and I'll be there."
"Well, I have to admit I'm pleased. You know I've missed having you around terribly."
I grit my teeth against his comment. He means he's missed using me as slave labor, to cook, clean, and serve his every need.
"Before we move forward I want to confirm how much you have.”
I stand and tiptoe to the door, peeking around the frame. Sebastian lies in the same spot I left him. Holding my breath, I slowly inch out of the bathroom and into the closet, closing the door behind me.
It only takes a minute for me to find the duffle bag filled with cash. I turn the flashlight on my phone on, and use it so I can find the zipper. Opening the bag, I nearly gasp, realizing there is way more than one hundred thousand dollars in here.
I lift the phone and whisper. "I’ve got one hundred thousand, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to carry it out of the house, let alone up the driveway.”
"Guess you better figure it out before then."
I scan the stacks of cash and a great aching hole opens up in the middle of my chest. I can't steal from Sebastian. Even if it's to save him…. But what other options do I have? My father will kill him. I’m not naive enough to think otherwise.
My fingers and toes tingle, and my stomach coils as anxiety bubbles into that hole, filling to overflow. I have to do this. He'd do anything, be anything, kill anyone to save me if the situations were reversed. He has way more money than this and if it can save him, if I can end this war before it begins then I will.
I lift the phone to my ear again. "We have a deal, then?" This time I don't bother recording. He's not going to say exactly what I need him to in order to incriminate himself. Everything he's said so far can be spun and twisted, especially by someone acting as the Sheriff.
"Yes, we have a deal. But I want one more thing."
Of course he does. He always wants more.
"What?" I don't bother to hide my irritation.
"Watch it, little girl. Don't push me, or I'll make this homecoming even more miserable for you than I already plan to make it. I want one more thing…”
“Okay?”
“Your ring.”
I jerk my gaze down to the gleaming ring on my left hand finger. "My ring, why?"
"It's probably worth another good ten thousand or so, plus, let's call it another layer of commitment on your end. It tells me if you’re really serious about this or not.”
I twist the ring a little with my thumb watching as the stone catches the tiniest bit of light from my phone screen. "Whatever. Two days from now then. I'll text when I have a specific time I can get away."
"I'll be sure to sit by the phone," he says, deadpan.
God, he's such a dick. Can I really turn myself over to him? Why doesn't he kill me and get it over with? The idea I could do so myself had occurred to me after the fourth "this is your fault " text, but I figured he would still go after Sebastian even if I was out of the picture, simply because he can.
"Is that it?" I ask. "No more threatening texts. No more poking at me. Leave me alone, and Sebastian, until I text that I'm ready to come to you."
There's a soft sound through the phone, and then he laughs. "Sure, although I do have to say I feel this is all quite poetic.”
"Huh? What do you mean?"
"Nothing really, it's just you’re trading one leash for another, and I find it interesting, especially since you spent most of your life fighting against me and what I wanted for you."
The anger surges up full force and I can't hold it back. "I fought against being beaten and raped by you and Yanov. That is what I fought against. I don't give a shit about making drinks and cleaning toilets. I can handle a lot of things, but it’s the abuse I can't abide."
"And yet you think Sebastian's leash is better? You can't go anywhere alone, he's literally legally chained you to him. It doesn’t matter who retains ownership, sweetheart, you won’t ever be free.”
I won’t ever be free? Then why do I feel like I’ve never been more free in my entire life than the months I’ve lived in this house with Sebastian. I swallow down my rebuttal, and instead of saying what I want to say, I reply, "Even if I’m not free, he will be, and that's what matters.”
I don’t wait for his reply, because I don’t care to hear it. I hang up the phone and sag down to the floor, my heart pounding in my chest, the guilt of what I’ve agreed to do already eating me alive.
I hate that I’ve chosen to turn my back on the only person who’s ever truly cared about me, but I’ll do anything to protect him. I refuse to let him spend his entire life fixing my mistakes.
Sometimes you have to fix things yourself, and that’s what I’m going to do…even if it kills me.